Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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IMAY HNCRAffil CROWING WARM Several in Race for Very Questionable Honor BROWNS ENTER 1 ( Jack Newfeldt Believed to Hold 1 Edge in Close Race i * 1 i Much interest has been evinced on ' the campus as the annual race for May King takes its rightful place in the 1 center of the political ring. This honor, one of the highest and most dignified to> be bestowed by the University students, has created a hot 1 race. Several prominent campus lead- 1 ers have offered for the throne. R. H. Sunk Atkinson is one of the leading candidates. According to the remarks of the bloated leader, he has ' served the campus well for the past seven years and never having had any 1 campus honors feels that the campus ' should reward his lack of good qualities. Pointing with pride to the fact ^that his uncle, Benson Atkinson, for oninc years was janitor in Davis College, "Sunk" begs the students to sup| gport him. i . Another outstanding leader in the ? race is J. W. "Solicitor" Brown, noted J booze hound and debate fiend. Mr. p. & Brown offers for the honor on the ?? fait that his greatgrandfather was hung in 1820 for stealing a horse. ? Furthermore, he urges the students to <0 support him because he is a man of |v<6 low ideals and no morals. Jack Newfeldt, 'Belgian prince, now registered at the University, is believed to hold the edge on the race. Jack said that for three years he has industriously shincd his own shoes and chewed Brown's Mule (tobacco) and that he feels he ought to have the throne to rest his carcass in. The Belgian Songo, as he is called, points to the fact that he knows a woman with a cedar chest and a glass eye and promises to have dates with all coeds who support him. Other candidates who have not mentioned their platforms are Bill Friar, "Barley Corn" Williams, and "Shay Shay" Brown, Jr. u. s. c. THE "BABY CYCLONE" SHOWN AT CLEMSON (Continued from page one) In the few minutes before the third act, Clemson cowboys clipped his hair a la rat and his exposed cranium shone to advantage in the final act. The hero of the play, the indomitable Cyclone, the doggy hero of the thing, was absent. In his place, the University L,on Chancy, Charles Mercer, carried out his part to perfection. Dean L,. T. Baker of Allen University was pressed into service as the policeman and then ejected from the dramatis personae by Federal officers after it was found that he had two wives, one present and the other ditto. On the way back to the campus after the lynching of the "Henglishnum," Banquo's ghost stopped the party and informed them that Wee Willie was having a hot time in the hereafter. "And that's no Hearsay, cither," added said ghost. I'uneral services for the departed (thank Heaven) director of the student Tomatto players will be held in Andrews Yard at three o'clock tomorrow morning. The local police officers are afraid to let Dean be interred in the daylight for the sun '"ight hide its face at the acts and deeds of this notorious tomatto soup producer. According to four hundred autobiographical stories carried in newspapers in the state, Dean is the hest producer ever to cross the border of South Carolina and all his plays have been tremendous flops. We join with the state legislature in thanking the Clemson cowdets for their service to the world and even to Mars in ndding the universe of such a specimen of Homo insanitatus. u. s. c.< Huck: Pop, what is a litter? Dr. Babcockr A litter, my son, is a contrivance for transportation of injured persons. Huck: Just to think of puppies coming on a thing like that! We carry a full line of Drugs, Holling8wu>rth Candy, Cosmetics, ' U. S, C. Pennants and Megaphones. Uee Our Telephone UNIVERSITY DRUG STORE "Where the 'Gang* Meets" 1204 Green Phones 4381-4832 fratIegulates frosh^conduct K* ?? K- Makes More Rules for New Students to Disobey Amid rousing cheers of "down with the freshmen," Kappa Sigma Kapper, dishonor service fraternity, passed rules, regulations, by-laws and resolu-' tions to guide the conduct of future' Freshmen enrolled at McDougal Douglas' School for the Feeble Minded. That all freshmen shall grow a beard not less than four feet long by the week following registration, that all freshmen shall wear their pants backward on every week day?on Sundays no pants will be worn at all, and that all upperclassmen are to be addressed as Most Exalted Upperclassman," was decreed by this august body of the leading minds of the campus. 'K. S. K. plans to subjugate, intimidate, irritate and infuriate the freshmen to the fullest extent of her powerful powers?" said Roger Stinkney, present president of Chaos Kay. "Yea, a thousand times yea," assented Billy Boy Herbert, secretary and authorized emblesher. 31 Tlie I t \ \ *, <g> 1931,1.1. liyiHi TthMN C?; * juj u rv J ALL E This is a scandal sheet view of the shot in the Euphradian hall the last down with a hard fight, much to the were anxious to get it over as soon as ] \ = POKER PLAYERS ARE EXPOSED (Continued from page one) so as to accommodate both of Hyman's legs at the same time, Culbertson, Mack and Gettys were on the other bed, studying the same accounting text, which observers say was being [an! y've I ^OU'RE hearing it al You've probably said Throughout the who! only are smoking Can Humidor Pack, they they are! They're delighting i aroma and fragranee They're learning ho enjoyment is locked t ws?l?i S / r. WlMUn>9aUm, N. C. IU A V/ U t XI V lULL! bull Kenneth Grimsley is said to have meeting he attended. The bull went disgust of those present, all of whom possible. held upside down. Hammond was captured on the fire escape, while Want broke a leg as lie jumped out of the wrong window. The eight were ordered to be off University property' by tomorrow night. Williams, who is acting as spokesman for the group, says that they intend to appeal to the student body. If the latter backs them up, lit it i k-v. .c>,?> * .yy* V . mM | - r m i 9 1 around you. it yourself. le country, people not lei cigarettes in the new 're saying liow good n a new mildness; an found only in Camels. >w much smooth cool ip in fine Turkish and KE A fl?(l Can : : Williams intends to lead a strike of all the students in order to persuade the discipline committee to rescind its order. Freeman Talks Freeman, when asked why he reported the men, replied that he was only doing his duty as set forth by the honor system. "I am a firm believer in the honor system," said Freeman, when he was threatened by Max Revelise with lynching. " I could not bear to see the fair name of my Alma Mater besmirched with the filth of gamblers. Whenever I catch anyone drinking, gambling, or dating my girl, I shall immediately report him to those who are in a position to deal with such low human beings." u. s. c. Clerk in Woolworths: You can have anything in here for a dime. Frank Bourroughs: How about that little blonde behind the candy counter? CAPITAL CIT 1119 Ger\ Specialists in Dress ONE DA1 this t\ X*X'XwX\*5vai Bfl I RR9HI - v . .v.v.v.;XvXvX;Xv>>: ; ; t c XI ro9H| * " : i fcill!!!'' Ill xJli X'X'S&'X'XvX'XvXvX'lX'IvX'X'IvXvX'X'X'Xv X vl;Xv!vXv!v!v! X';?X'Xjry;?XvSX*X"x"^v>>;?;*;-;-X%"t?;Xx'.;X;X;-;X>%^;X;Xx*;X;X\;!;Xy!'' ? mellow Domestic tobaccc vacuum cleaned and pro] They're grateful for new Natural moisture, that's i Factory-fresh Camels, ail sanitary package, which germs out and keeps the Don't take our word for i new Humidor Pack, and sv Then you'll see why the wl ?sl| ' els IN TBK HUMID4 Page Three Judges Entertain For Leading Gamblers Among the many social bright spots of the week was a poker party pitched by Judges Blankhead and Smith in Burney College Tuesday night. The lobby was decorated with hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds, and the same scheme was carried out in the interior. Chips were distributed by little flower maids (King Keysering, Jack Assey, Jim Harvey and Yates Snowden), and refreshments in the form of poker cake and hard likker were served. Kershaw Walsh was chaperone of the party and a wonderful time was had by all. The high points of interest in the game were when several players checked locks at the same time, the winner being Sam Taylor, who had four aces and a king. Y LAUNDRY 'jj| rais Street Shirts and Collars iT WORK ? m ime! r<'?IS m >s expertly blended, perly conditioned. * ill throat-ease! vhat does it! r-sealed in the new keeps the dust and flavor in. t?try Camels in the fitch back if you can. tole nation is saying: RETTE" OR PACK