Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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HARRY STOTTLEI | sez Many a man has found himself en gaged to a girl who put her own inter pretation upon his words. This is no season for party platforms and other prevarications of a like nature. Nevertheless, we offer the following re grets and apologies: 1. We pledge ourselves to continue the expression of our opinions, in this column, regardless-with the aid of prose poetry and profanity. 2. Suggestions, along with advice, will be appreciated but not heeded. 3. Will give audience to your gabbing just as long as we can refrain from chewing up the furniture, etc., and etc. 4. Prospective suppressors, who don't know better, will be welcomed at any and all times-this thing isn't so easy to write nohow. 5. Criticism will be tolerated just so long as you keep it to yourself. 6. May the co-eds be always right i-i their relations with the boys but right or wroing the Eds. Do you like my writing? If so. Why not? Are you a male or female? State reasons. Why? How old was you. grai.-Ifather .he'. his son stole the '1o se? If it takes a man a month to cat a saucer of ice cream with a toothpick, how long would it take you to pick a thousand fleas off a dog's back while wearing boxivg gloves? Spell the word cuckoo. Are you? Vhy? If not, when? Are you answering these questions? Were you born crazy or did you fall on your head when you were a baby? Who is Slippery Sal? What is her name? Have you read this far? If not, how did you get way down here? If a "hen party" is made up of hens, why is a "gabfest?" When were you admitted to the Insane Asylum? If so, why is your cat named Lizzie? If not, have you a cat? What kind of a cat? Why did Eve-have you a match? Thanks for the duck-I never eat fish. Woman's insatiable appetite for thrills has broken up more men than Mr. Quaker has oats. "Did you let him kiss you when he left?" "Let him. I had to help him." When the cat's away the mice will play-but maybe, the cat's not having such a bum time either. Possibly you've heard of a guy around here called Douglas. Well, get this straight. He's trying to run this neck o' the woods. He can't do that Judge's been doing that a long time. Where women are women the men are are-nervous wrecks. Inveterate prevaricators should pos sess infallible memories. That reminds us of the husband who called his wife, "Hey"-He was absent minded and didn't care to call the wrong number. Our idea of combining business with pleasure is the wife who takes in boarders. Some of these campus politician: would get more if they ran just for exercise. Our idea of the "Holier-than-thou" clan is that they call the woman across the street a "Brazen Hussy"-after ob serving her, taking the weekly, with the aid of opera glasses. Wedding rIng-A little article, car ried In some purses, which prevents the necessity of occupying a park bench for the night. door I Come in this house, this in-step, 'fore' I bust you 'n eye wid a shevel. And quit 'sociatin' wid thet Ashley Halsey. He ain't nothin' but a kid. Why he actually ain't quit writin' to Santa Claus, yet. Did you see that let ter what he writ him in Monday's Record? Roses are red Violets are blue. While looking for another, I ran across you. A woman's tongue is sharp So's a hat-pin. Served as a reminder Of what might have been. The Stetson's all dusty. There it hangs on the rack. Bringing fond memories Well-you didn't walk back. We're going to write some poetry. If we ever have the time. Pardon the intrusion, But doesn't this rhyme? MOTOR COACH SERVICE' COLUMBIA TO GREENVILLE Lv. Columbia: 7:00 am, 9:30 am, 11:30 am, 2 pm, 4:30 pm Lv. Greenville: Same Time. HAYES Bus LINES INCORPORATED 1800 Main St. Phone 8788 LORICK & LO BUILDING AND PL1 Pipe-Valves-Fittings, B SPORTING When a Feller The Sm6 .I . not Songsters Petition National Fraternity Male Glee Club Wants Charter From Phi Mu Alpha The men's Glee Club in connection with the band and several members of the university faculty that are interested in music are sending a petition to the Phi Mu Alpha Music Fraternity this week. "The Glee Club has long felt a need for a fraternity of this nature and are in hopes of securing this one sometimes in the near future," said Freddie Rump, manager of this year's Glee Club. A club for the furthering of musical talent on the University campus has been formed and functionig for some time. It is the Alpha Mu Phi Club. Its officers are: Freddie Rump, presi dent ; Dick Edgerton, vice-president ; Roscoe Riggins, secretary and treasurer. Columbia Laundry 1323 Taylor St. Phone 4954 VRANCE, INC. JMBING SUPPLIES eltings-Glass and Paint GOODS Needs a Friend NWHY Do"'T YOU ,SMoE OLD GotDs ? THERE IS4'-i A COUG( / IN A CARLoAD ) ote/ ndBte :ough n a c Columbia Dry Cleaning Co., Inc. Newest and Most Modern Just Around the Corner From the Campus CLAUDE SCARBOROUGH Manager G. O. RILEY C. B. LAWRENCZ -- Campus Representaitves HARRY WOLFE CHICK FOSTER 905 Main St. Phone 3129 What We Say It is-it is Russow Jewelry Co. 1522 Main St. Phone 7308 School and College Rings and Pins FRATERNITY PINS, CRESTS CHARMS - AND MONOGRAMS ATHLETIC AND SCHOOL MEDALS PRIZE CUPS BRICE-JOYE COMPANY, INC. Cleaners and Dyers "It's 'Joye' Dyeing for You." Just around the corner from the Campus HARRY L. HINGSON, Campus Rep. 1209.11 Pendleton St. Phone 8035 A N.irber Shop on block from the University for Men and Women State Barber Shop Ground Floor State Office Building COLUMBIA, S. C. Under Management of Palmetto Barber Shop By BRIGGS MERCY sP'iKc-s WIHY O G6oRGE ! WHJAT IEU51AC E \dII'Tp BE LIT TERw-i' UP THE A SNAME AND PLACE WITH TrM EUSTACE HAD THNG S A\NY\AY JUV6T SPENT Two I Do)'T tOU HOURS SOGTIJG 'T EM~A ALL OUT !/ C.. orllr Co.Et 17 I a I 7 autJ "ia. foGp.