Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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$/u GA 4coc "BEST CoLLEcE NEWSPAPER IN SOUTH CAROLINA" vmnber of the South Carolina College Press Association Published Weekly by the Various Literary Societies of the University of South Carolina. Terms--$1.50 a Year Entered as Second-Class Mail Mat er at the Columbia South Caroliia Postoffice on November 20, 1908 NEwS ITEMS may be handed in to any member of the staff EDITORIAL STAFF William R. Hearst (he would) . Editor-in-Chief Bernarr McFadden . Managing Editor Samuel Pepys . Associate Editor Giovanni Boccacio The Same, or Ditto Our Nelly Gwyn . .... Co-Ed Editor Henry the Eighth . . . (Good) Sports Editor BUSINESS STAFF Shylock . . . . . Business Manager Silas Marner Assistant Midas . . . . .... As Above REPORTERS Hawkshaw the Disinfecter, Baron Munchausen, An nanias. G. Washintgon. Polonius, Honor Committee. The Two Night-Watchmen. The Wandering .Lw C.... Circulating Mgr. Ulysses ..... Asst. to Circulating Mgr. Sinbad the Sailor ...A Asst. to Circulating Mrg. MARCH 31 - APRIL 1 Slurs ()i the campus running wild Is a wild but harmless child Who writes under title "Harry Stottl..," .\nd his colunm vain and pompous . pro,f iat he should be in rompers, But wve r-ally ought to throttle, Harry Stottle. His hair is full of kinks. And his column, so he thinks, Is just about the best was ever written. But the truth about the matter, And we never stool) to flatter, Is that someone ought to throttle Harry Stottle. His style is sweet and pleasing. But his brain could stand some greas mng, For we really think a gear is out of place. But now this gifted stripling, Is better than Rudyard Kipling, But the space that's in his head is nerely waste. * * * * * We don't believe this but Wet planks make rotten platforms, and that a vet plank is the easiest kind to slip on. * * * * * Necessity is often the mother of discretion. * * + * * True to nature. It seems thait muost of our camputs gold diggers come fromt the hills. * * * * * TLhe Westerners believe in covering up weaknesses, they recently gave the IPresident a sombrero. * * * * * Love might be a dream btut returnedI checks ar the night mare. * * * * * Freshman Culbertson says that he is assured of solid backing. Mentally speaking. * * * a * Friend Burton Shook is a bit egotistical in calling his column, "The Very Idea." WVe never l.new he had one. * * * * * L~ost five bucks at Auction Bridge, it immediately be camne a bridge of sighs. * * * * * It is hoped that the "likker" write ups in the -Yelloy Sheet will be taken in the "spirit" in which they were written. ** * * * Arthur Medlock askedI us not to mention hinm in the~ Yellow Sheet so we won't. * ** * * 9 The Treasury dlepartment says that it will p)ut out fewer ten dollar bills. That won't effect the University situdent hndy a whole hap. Rice-Eating No doubt the modern minds, the minds that are far iu adv-!ance of their time, of this state have been struggling for yvars with the question: What's wrong with South Cai olina? Bert -Moore, Cheese Burn and other great men of South Carolina, to our knowledge, have sacrificed ma-y nights of sweet repose to the cause of replacing thi: grand old state of ours in equal ranks with the up to- itc tates of the union. These men deserve credit for their unwonted, remarkable and untiring efforts. W!'wn they have passed St. Peter's examination there should be, and doubtless will be, monuments erected to their nmemory to remind the youths and little papooses of eiicrations to come, of the footprints that these genltmencen have made on the sands of time. 'nfortunately, however, it seems that these rare and ru ci a gentlemen have not obviated the real fault in the -ratum of S. C. society. We are aware of a vacillat ed ' Icacy when we realize that the duty has fallen on th( Yellow Sheet to inform the State of South Carolina of *er eminent short-coming. But "w,'hen duty whispers 'lo thou must," the youth replies, "I can." So here goes. The great trouble with South Carolina today is the rice eating habit. On the surface this habit may ap pear of no import. It may seem absolutely impossible th;- iosyncrasies of appetite could estop or retard the 're:rv,ss of any people. But let us analyze the situa tit:. Rice contains a certain amount of alcohol, or at leas it contains certain chemical subtances which when properly combined with water will make alcohol-chem ist call this a process of fermantation. We concede that wlien rice is well-cooked the germs of fermentation are killed. But whether or not it is well-cooked is the etiAon at issue. We contend that it is not. The good housewife goes u) town or to a bridge pa ty in the morning. She becomes so interested in a pic gure slhow or a "Cahrd" game that she almost forgets hubby's dinner. Maybe we should have said "lunch." But it makes no difference if it is a dinner, a luncheon or a catfish stew they serve rice just the same. She ru 'shes home at the eleventh hour and dashes the rice in the ,ot. Consequently "big papoose" is home growl ing for grub before the "life-saver" has had tine to thoroughly cooked. Nope we are not quite "all wet," for the cook is either sick or gone to "cousin Sallie's fun eral. These boarding houses, ah they are out of the question-the rice they -serve has to be beaten up with a sIkIdge hammer, before it can be masticated. Now when this raw rice goes into the stomach the water and gastric juices start the fermentation procesi immediately. This process develops and ere long a quantity of pure grain alcohol passes through the spa ghetti pipes out in the | system. The quality of alocohol is so small that its effects are not felt and its results are not immediately apparent. But when this continues over a long period of years, day ini and (lay out, it (oes with practically every South Carolinian (why they even supply babies with little bags of rice for teething purposes) it ultimately produces an alcoholic brain that approaches delirum tremens and is highly detrimental to the power of clear thinking and intelli gent foresight. The mental faculties work in circles irolbally whirlpools-under such conditions. That is why we have Sunday blue lawvs. That is why South Carolina is one of the most illiterate anid poverty stricken states in the union. At one tuie S. C. was one of the leading states in the union. But that w~as the time when rice-eating w~as mi its comparative infancy and before the above-mentioned process had had time to develop. The same tmay be said of china. She is among the oldest of the present civilized nations. She at one time was ouistandling among the h'uropean nations. But th, Chinese became adldicted to Chop-Suey, you knowv, that rice that looks like wvorms. Now we earnestly plead with the kind housewives of South Carolina to consider this serious question for upon the solution of it depends the future success of our 'tate. IThe Open ForumI "Well galley boy what have we for the Open Forum this week ?" "Why we have a letter fronm 'Haweye' andl one from 'Cockeye'-let mie see I believe that's about all." "Didn't 'Haweye' ruin last week ?" "That is right, it did. And 'Cockeye' is to be run next week, so we haven't a thing for this week." Excuse us kind readers, the "eyes" are all out this week so there will be no Fu., Welcome Univers BURNETT'S E] DRUGS, DRINKS, CIG Whitman's Candy and Ea. One Block from Campus--Phone CAROLINA STU SH ONE L Ground Floor Sta "Sll!CIAL SERVICE TO I iF YOU ARE PLANNING ) THE CAMEL CI YELLOW COACH CHAIR CARS ri(ing busses in operation Rates on Request CAMEL CITY CO Office: 2118 Main St. Col THE EVER-READ LAUNDR Just the thing you hf sending your 1 Strong, Duri Price The State ] Pert THE. LARGEST STOCK 1248 MAIN STREET GAYDEN CIGAIRS, CIGARE'TES. PI Agency for Norris ar TFry Our Moderate Price Lunc THE WAFFLE SHOP "Everything Good to Eat'' 1217 MATN STREET (Jus: Beyond Columbia Theater) A PLACE~ TO E-A-T TOASTEE SAN Open'A SANDWICI-jES ity Students to RUG STORE ARS, STATIONERY ;tman's Kodak Supplies 3191-Cor. Main and College DENTS' BARBER DP LOCK te Office Building JNIVERSITY STUDENTS" TRIP, BE SURE TO USE 'Y COACH LINE The smoothest running, easiest -A ride will convince you! for Special Trips ACH COMPANY umbia, S. C. Phone: 6703 Y PARCEL POST Y CASE Lve been wanting for aundry home. rble, Lasting $2.25 3ook Store taps IN SOUTH CAROLINA 1427 MAIN STREET BROTHERS PES AND PERIODICALS d Johnston Candies Counter -- Pocket Billiards CAPITOL CAFE Regular Meals Hot Waffles Your Patronage Appreciated Food of Best Quality-Excellent Service 1210 Main St. Columbia, S. C. THAT'S DIFFERENT DWICH SHOP ii Nite WAFFLES r AdAvartisers