Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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SPRING The flowers are blooming, The girls are grooming, The cocks are pluming, The farmers are shooing, The cows are mooing, The cuckoons are cooing; For it is Spring. The birds are singing, The bells are ringing, The bees are winging, The flees are stinging, The mothers are naming, The fishermen are seining, For it is Spring. The hares are mating. The boys are dating, The bears are waiting, The maids are grating, The goats are blating, The stars are rating. For it is Spring. The grasses are growing, The winds are blowing, The reapers are sowing, The daises are showing, rhe streams are roaring, The eagles are soaring, For it is Spring. The larks are harping The (logs are barking, The cars are parking, The cops are marking, The boys are larking, 'he paters are harking. The dresses are whitening, The weights are lightening, The scenes are enlightening, The hopes are brightening, The stockings are tightening, For it is Spring. The boats are sailing, The Minds are raving. The women are craving, The doctors are saving, The engineers are paving, The horses are naying, For it is Spring, it is Spring. Don't bea !in j: al ASK TO SEE TH AND THE St Hope -I Marvin Mitchun "THOSE WHO RATE" A new book just off the press should be of interest to Carolina students as two of her noble (?) and upright child ren are the co-authors, Jim Pitts and Miss Martha Pegram. The book is entitled "Those Who Rate" or "How to climb the Social-Lad der." The book is said to be interesting as many pertinent questions are answered by the illiterate couple. Some of lie chapters are: "Questions to Ask," "Who Makes Frats," "How to Rate" and other interesting topics. Professor Wittskowsky has reviewed the book and says that it is as good as could be expected from the soAce, but that it is fair in spite of the authors. -Usc FUNDERBURK LECTURES Harold \V. Funderflunk, the campus shriek will deliver a lecture in Allen University Thursday night on the sut ject, "How to carry seven subjects and have a (late every night." It is under stood that Mr. Funderflunk isin the ha ht of making a nightly trek somewhere out in Shal.doin .111it it is believed to !e near or beyond the railroad tracks. Mr. Ftunderflunk and his incomparable room-mate, Madamoiselle, Bannie Le Font Stewart, the caucasian philai-thr. pist are runniing a book store, with the adioiitin that they are not to he taken int of the room. -usc CHAMPION TURNER Miss Rosalie Turner is now known to her many friends on the campus as "Big Ole Athletic" Turner. One of the honor commnittee questionnaires suggested that for a first offense that the newly named heavyweight box the violator for three rounds, but the other members thought that as had as cheat ing and it ought to be a capital of fence. prilfooled Buy your Spring Suit at HOPE - DAVIS and be correct. Our Suits are au thentic in Style and Cut 2 Pants $30 $35 $45 E NEW STRIPES D~LID BLUES )avis Co. in, Campus Repr. SPersonals | The girls of Columbia will be heart broken to learn that Huger Sinkler and "Stink" King will not be in Columbia next year. Th bootleggers predict that 1928 will be a bad year for their trade since Eddie Pritchard. Billy Elliot, Legare Walker and Frank Clarke have been engaged to "sprinkle the streets" next year. Blood Hildebrand is now serving time in the state penitentary for dodging the income tax. Charlie Mercer like Lindy is ready to retire from public eye since his receit appearance on the witness stand. Cobb, "Dr. Quack" Goldberg has open ed up a shooting gallery at room 10, Ten ement 29 and it will be open from 11 P. M. until morning. There is no danger of getting hurt as the guns are glass. Captain Red Swink says that his poker team is now inl good shape and that he will lay any. team, provided that the game iN staged on the first floor. Baseball Salley ran into Coach Sto ney's automobile and the collision jerked all the ball bearings out of coach's car. Div to the inspiratio of one Sarah, Huger Sinkler has decided to go out for the cross country team. Hugh Willcox inspired by silver king ginger ale decided to learn to plqy a steam piano. Bill Cooper has agreed to give a lecture on "How to Get Sex Appeal," for the benefit of Jinimie Mortison but all other. who do not possess the biological urge are welome to attend this lecture. Ted Leschinski is in the infirmary suffering from a light case of spring fever. Billy Brunson ought to be working for "Stetson D" as he is the only person seen on the campus in reoent years wearing two pair of pants. Mr. Jack Bradley late of Atlanta says that Billy is not in style as you are supposed to own both the pairs of pants. Coach McFaddei, has discovered a new high stepper but will enter him in the .\ugusta Horse Show instead of a track .neet. Kenneth Grimsley is the new win ier. If \lr. Grimsley could move his feet as fast as lie can his head Bow legged Zobel would not have a chance. Coach McFadden says that Ken will never make a track man because he is string-haltered. -c CRAIG IS FAST! (as Machievelli would say). Thomas Moore Craig's remarkable per formance last spring while on the Biology coastal trip of running (own a (leer and capturing the animal in a fair foot race has made him outstanding for the Olym pis. It must be ad-mittted that the deer was somewhat frightened at Dr. Moore's remark oif "ship him" as he passed that celebrity. Nevertheless this does not dd(e tract from the fact that we believe our dlear;y belov'ed president fleeter than a (leer. USC THE CAMPUS CREED I'm not interested in politics. I have been mentioned for an office. I don't especially want it but I'll run for it to beat the crook who is out against me. I will not swvap votes, but I want to do the right thing and I think you sho'uld have a certain office in a certain coming election. Oh wvell, let's go get a drink. .....Let us apply inductive reason 'ing: My platform is making a political issue out of the fact that I dlon't politic. POOR COCKNEYS! Red McCall of our dearly beloved F,ducation classes has returned from the belligerent state of Chicago and reports that the F,nglish forces have been de feated by fire on three fronts and that he h*us special orders from Dicta,tor Thompson to carry the war into South Carolina. He has been doing this very efficiently by flunking students of Eng li.sh ancestry. Professor i-n Rural Economics 4 "Griffin hurry up. you always are slow." Co-ed who D)rufe had a (late with the Monday and Tuesday "LEGION OF CONDEMMED" with Gary Cooper Wednesday and Thursday "HELEN OF TROY" with Rio Cardo Friday and Saturday "THE MOOSE" with Richard Barthlemess 40, ike, ~~ A ring on the finger or aring on the phone and new Spring Braeburn 8 '8wonderful sometimes how things just seem to be made Ji for one another--fit into the picture and I on to the figure like nobody's business. New~ Sprinrg Brae*burns $35 $jo $45r Coggins& Johnson -1300 MAIN CROW MILHUS Ca.n mput'.... Re..re...tative