Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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ASPIRANTS FOR SENIOR HONOR PRESENT PLANS Moore, Brunson and Reese Pre sent Platforms for Consid eration of Students MOORE PROMISES MORE Candidate from the Unholy City Seems to Be the Most Popular "If I am elected to this ofice, ladies and gentlemen-and co-eds, I promise to bend every energy to accompiIhlh these three things: more, better and cheaper bootleggers, paved streets through the campus with wide gutters, padded and equipped with numerons pillows, placed so that one cannot easily miss them, and a large bottle of Bromo Seltzer in every room, to be refilled daily if necessary." The speaker was Bill Moore of the Unholy City, presenting his platform as a candidate for president of the stu dent body. At the conclusion of his pertinent address, half the members of the audience went wild, carrying him through the chapel on their shoulders singing the Drinking Song from the "Sudent Prince." The next speaker was Bill Brunson, who said, in a purposeful voice, that he advocated "a system by which the pro fessors cculd be excused from con ducting classes in case of a hang-over of reasonable proportions, the saim system applying to students, a motion picture machine in every classroom that would flash the answers to ques tions in such a way that only the pro fessors could see them, and sofas :a place of henches, wired to warn the sleeper when the professor calls on him.' Much enthusiasm was shown at these planks, especially by Shook, Hol conbe, B. Moore and Bruce White. Ray Godshall, who had been asleep, also evinced his willingness to support Brunson, after he had been told of the platform. William Romulus Reese, the next speaker, proceeded to define the aims ambitions, previous work, and general merit of the fencing club. Before he was halfway through, however, (he had already spoken 20 minutes) he was hooted from the platform with advice. "Learn to jump fences, you'll nee'd it in the backwoods," someone shout ed. Reese showed that he had already learned this feat. Admiring swains who are pushing their "horses" for the honor of May queen received a severe blow yester (lay when tenement 15 announced that the constitution of the student body had been laid aside and "Tiny" Mc Nally, a sophomore, placed in the run ning for the queenly office. McNally has an innense advantage over the other contestants in that he is a perfect lady on all occasions; thas is, on nearly all occasions. His buxom. amply curved figure is to be seen houncing across the campus with the effortless grace of the lissome flapper. as he b)estows a radliant smile there and nods imipercep)tily here. "Perfect 36 Eyes of Blue--oh, what s'uch a queen coulfi do !" is the victorious chant of the boys of tenement 15. 'It is thought by some that McNallv is trying to "fix the race," as he was seen conversing surreptituously wvitn another candidate, backedl last year by the "wise" element. His supporters claim, however, that he is entirely vir tuous, and for that reason s'trongty recommend him for May queen. McNally is a quiet, unassuming type and if he is elected, it is assured that the May queen's ball, for the first tinme in history, will be entirely proper. -U.s.c. Nolan Buys Machine for European Tour In keeping with the customs and tra ditions of the eccentricites and idosy ncracies of the History department, "Buck" Nolan, instructor in said de partment, appearedl on the campus yesterday with a peddlhing machine which lie recently purchased from Professor Meriwether, campus repre sentative of Sears, Roebuck and Co., on the excitement plan. Hisf plans for a tour of Europe, which lhe contemplates making this summer, arc rapidly maturing, and it is sincerely hoped that no tack will mar his well New Regulations Made by Dr. Burke I. A monthly inspection will be made to see that every student has in his pos session not less than five gallons of "corn," (preferably "mean corn.") 2. Each student must have at least seven "hot" dates a week. It shall be required that the student make a week ly report of such dates to the maishal. Failure to do this will subject the stu dent to discipine and will limit the stu dent to five dates per week. 3. Students failing to keep fire arms in their possession are subject to de capitation. 4. No student shall be required to take gymnasium, nor shall it be compul sory for him to attend chapel or class Cs. 5. In case the janitor is absent at any time, call the president, who will gladly Welcome Unive BURNETT'S : DRUGS, DRINKS, C] - Agent Whitman's Candy and E One Block from Campus-Ph Associ E. A. TODD'S BEAUTY PARLOI and BARBER SHOP PALMETTO BARBER SHOP Basement Columbia Nation Bank Building 0. W. Mayfield, Prop. JEROME HOTEL BARBER SHOP Rear Jerome Hotel Lobby I. V. Fry, Prop. M'C A U L EY'S SHOP 17-28 Main Street SH A NOON BARBER SHOP 2811 Divine Street A RCADE BARBER SHOP Mayfield Bros. Arcadeul inga.. come over and do the work that the janitor would have done had he been present. 6. Any breakage occurring in the room will be repaired at the expense of the marshal. 7. Any student who succeeds in drink ing more than two gallons of "corn" in any one night shall be classed as a "hog." 3. Every student must attend Sun day services at least once during his stay at the University . 9. Absolutely no studying allowed between the hours of 7 a. m. to 12 p. m. These hours are to be observed as rec reation hours. 10. Applications for temporary leave of absence or for other special exemp tions, must always be made in advance to Mr. Joe Hines. He alone has auth ority to permit or excuse absences. rsity Students to DRUG STORE GARS, STATIONERY s for astman's Kodak Supplies one 3191-Cor. Main--College iated M of An COLUMBIA These are Look for the i Members or It Stands for Servic PATRON .. W HITE I SERX - T|hey M Better Catch Bus at Canteen-15 Minutes Before Each Schedule TRAVEL BY MOTOR BUS Daily Service Columbia, Camden, Kershaw, Lancaster, Charlotte, Bishop ville, Hartsville, Darlington, Florence, Sumter, Kingstree, Ridgeway, Winnsboro, Chester, Rock Hill, Batesburg, Johnston, Aiken, Augusta, Newberry, Clinton, Laurens, Greenville, St. Matthews, Orangeburg, Charleston, Black ville, Barnwell, Allendale, Fairfax. HAYES BUS LINES, INC. 1800 Main Street Phone 8788 THE STATE BOOK STORE State Newspaper Building We still have in stock a variety of TEXT BOOKS bought for use of University classes. A number of these texts are still in use. Before buying, consult us---any book in stock is offered at a discount of 15 per cent. aster Barbers lerica BARBER SHOP LOCAL 294 ST. MATTHEWS, S. C. Qualified ard and the HOLT'S BARBER SHOP I This Ad 1223 Main Street 4MPERIAL BARBER AND BEAUTY SHOP Next to Imperial Hotel 'EFFERSON HOT EL e and Protection ! bARBER SHOP A. D. Sharpe, Mgr. I ZE T HE JONES' BARBER SHOP IA RBER 823 Main Street IC E COLUMBI A ICE BARBERS' SUPPLY CO. ak e the 132 Mai'''S'''et Best LONSFORD'S Best BARBER SHOP 1211 Tayloiteet,..