Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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.A tJLTY GETS DRUNK 'THREE ARE SUSPENDED (Continued from page one) The menu for the evening was: asafo tida cocktail, rye bread, corned beef and cabbage, chinaberry sauce, onion salad, scrambled snake eggs, fried tripe with mushrooms, pig's feet, garlic sherbert with Scotch demitasse. At the conclusion of the banquet the bell hops passed around old Virginia Cheroots, but many turned up their nose at this high priced cigar, 'and lit up on "two-fors." Dtan Ball lit up a corn cob pipe, and went on in true smokestack fashion. On a motion from Registrar Chase, who reeled unsteadily on his feet, the business was entered into, and several important changes were made in campus regulations. , On behalf of the two "Judges," who are on night duty, Dean Baker moved that all private bootleggers on the Uni versity campus be. forced to quit selling the popular drink, and that it be hauled in *ky-ars" to the Marshall's ofice, which should be the distributing point. After a great deal of discussion in which Professor Snowden, and Ball spoke for the private dealers, and Professors Ste phan and Corrnigton for the "Judges," the motion was carried five to three, the rest who couldl think, being engaged in arguing what the price of eggs in China had to do with women smoking ciga rettes. Professor Rucker became bored with all the bull shooting, and his snoring be came so pronounced it became necessary for the other members to put a towel around his mouth. Professor "Geology" Smith rose to his feet, the only really sober man in the crowd, and went into a disccussion of the terrible fault the faculty has of going to class drunk in pblic. He thought they they should at least act as gentlemen, and the faculty went on re cord as favoring professors going to class sober at any rate. Dr. Moore did not think enough dan ces were being given for the students recreation, and the local chapter agreed to give dances free every night in the week for the rest of the term (Sundays included.) Complaining of hard work, Josiah Morse favored two holiday vacations of six months each, with an extra holiday on leap year, and in this he was backed by the Dean and the rest of the Tappers, much to Dr. Melton's disgust. The mo tion passed. Miss Dillard started to make a mo tion, but Dr. Green and Professor. Mc Cutchen started wrangling over prohibi tios., and began to fight. This roused everyone from the land of dreams and a free for all took place. Professors Stoddard, Kennedy, Mer cer, Hankins, and Wauchope had already passed out, and when the smoke finally cleared from the scene of battle only three were left able to stand alone. Dr. Melton was saved from injury, having climbed high upon a chandelier, and with him stood Professor Cook calmly smok ing a cigarette, and Dr. Currell. The place was a wreck. A miniature war had taken place, and it looked like a forgotten battlefield. Broken bottles, odors of onions, asafoetida and Scotch gave the room a wild smell. Our ven erable 'President was trying to decide how to get the professors to their homes when a clanging and scurry of feet in the hall solved the situation for him. The injured and those under deep influence of Bacchus' hypnotic drug were carried to the hospital, and the rest are this morning in the city jail waiting for Grease Graydon to get them out that they may start plans for next year's banquet. So goes life. -USC William Blaickwell was making a re port to his mother on his physical con dition. He wanted to tell her that the doctor had said that a rest was advisa ble and that he thought that he had malaria fever. Bill told his mother that the doctor said that he must have a week?s rest and that the doctor thought that lie (Bill) had the Spring fever. -USC Professor Coker was lecturing on the different planets. "Now," said the ro fessor, "I am going to use my hat to represent Mars. Are there any questions to be asked?" Urban Milhous: "Professor, is Mars Inhabited?7" FORMER U. S. C. STUDENT JOYNS LUNATIC ORDEi WROTE WHY IS PINEAPPLE Is World's Greatest Authority or Cat Alice S1.-Now Work ing for B.V.D Special to The Gamecock: It is hereby announced that or March 31, George Lewis Roper Sin clair Cunningham Green, formerly a student of the University of South Carolina, received the highly undesir able degree of Chief of the Order of Last Degree Loons. This degree was conferred upon the infamous student by Dr. Bobby Boont zen as a reward for his dirty work up on the subject of "Cat Alice Sis." At the conclusion of the impressive ceremony, held in a padded cell at the South Carolina Hospital for the Insane, Dr. Boontzen proclaimed him the "world's greatest authority on cat alice sis". Although the rapid and heavy eater has for some time been claiming this distinction, official recognition was witheld until the appearance of his recent work upon "If not why not?' immediately followed by another on the subject "Why is a Pineapple ?" Both of these works of philosophy were widely read by those who knew no better and made the author fam ous among the colony of 2800 who res ide at the intersection of Bull and Cal houn streets. Having shown himself the mosi loony of loons, they immediately de manded that he become their chief and being urged by the state to accept the invitation, he has made his residence there since March 25. Finding a small amount of alcohol he began to experiment and found that he could pass from C2 H6 0 to 0U'] in a short time and without the aid of a cat Eliza. He also found that his altitude was affected by alcohol. He learned that he could imbibe while standing on old terra firma and immediately be as high as a kite. Because of these world- astonishing discoveries he was awarded the afore mentioned degree. The nut is now working for a B. V. D. -USC BURBAGE-BRADHAM CASE NOW IN COUR1 (Continued from page one) time he forsook all others and, prom ised to obey her in all manner what. soever until the end of his days. Sc ,complete is the influences of Miss Bradham over Mr. Dudley that Mis Burbage has given up all hope of evei again claiming him as her own. The complaint as filed in the Clerk of Court's office alleges that Mr. Dud Icy is seen with Miss Bradham con stantly during the day, has a date witl her every night,.calls her on the jiimn< twice a day, keeps his room naiat< awake at night while talking of her ni his dreams, is so completely infatuatei with life and attention for her that he can't study, can't eat and that h< is breaking his health down from th< attention that he is paying her. Further allegations are ti the effeel that he, deliberately before the plain tiff displays 'his affection for the de fendant and that they openly and pub licly demonstrate their affection fo each other to a very great extent witi humiliating effects on the plaintifi causing mortificatiin at times togethe with other kinds of sickness. Th plaintif also alleges that the attentio1 of Miss Bradham for Mr. Dudley ha not been secret but openly and amon her many friends thereby causing he great embarrassment. In asking for damages Miss Burbag asks for $1,000,000 punitive damage and $16.75 actual damages which the expense she claims that she wet1 to in capturing Mr. Dudley togethe with the price of her trousseau. Til case w:ll be watched with intense ir terest by friends of both parties. TI plaintiff is represented by Simpson an Russell of the Columbia bar, while th defe.nnt as retained Hon. Tohn 1I 'THIOON"?Q'ICIENT (Ccntiaued fkom page one) abe piece of gold is engraved the beau ' tiful likeness of a snake. The. medal itself is old gold white, the snake is of new gold. The .possessor of this medal might well be envied of its possession. Mr. Collins, according to rumors won the medal by his insurpassable adoid ness in escaping the -'many charges heaped upon him. Although before the Discipline Committee many times he has always managed to wiggle out of the difficulty because of his ability. "Mule" Collier is the so':r faced winner of the Groucher's Medal. This medal is carved in the shape of a crab apple and is the "apple of Mr. Collier's eye. Mr. Collier said the Dean "well deserves this medal because of the many destructive suggections which he directly and indirectly has brought to our attention. Mr. Leland Brannon, L. L. Cunningham, both were active competitors for this beautiful emblem of indigestion. The winners of the various medals, according to Mr. Collier are to or ganize a club whose purpose is to so act as to redound to Carolina dishonor and shame. The charter has already been granted. The name of the club will be announced later. Daniel, Attorney-General of South Carolina. Associated with Mr. Daniel in the case is Chief Justice Gary of the South Carolina Supreme Court and Senator Cole L. Blease of Columbia. Isn't it fair to say that, on seeing the name of KNOX* in a hat you are quick to grant the quality and when you see a Knox hat, you are knowledge the style? rhis spring-the mue, "Fifth Ameus." flhe'swe is qee 'with . ths side. dewqutsi elstrwd. Ths brim s de us a duparturs qvisA is shaleenw rail abLug is doubly s ul . . feris can be uerisiher up er i.sds,u. Ahese as eight dellars. ' r'MARSHALL. TATUM *COMPANY g r EDDIE RCOBINSON, Representative e d Hampton Streets Phone 7308 Phone 6061 Service Is CHARLIE & McGHEE Tonsorial WELCOME CAROLI] Meet Your Friends Here -- 1128 Lady Street Gloco and other Advert SHAVING Sl Complete Stock Columbia Barbers' " 1326 Main Street THE STA G CI( CATERS TC Magazines, Cigars, and Sandy We Will Appreciate 3 Phone 8635 Rent a Ne Drive It Y Special Rates to Uni WHERE TO GO - THERE --AND Y FORD AND N. OPEN AND CLOS] of Columb Centrally I 1216 LADY ST. GaydenI 1248.Main Street and We carry complete line .pipes, candy anc POCKET BII Ifry one of our lunches a We Appareiate Y. C - Our Motto: Give Us a Trial MONROIR LINDSAY Kings s vA STUDENTS A )pposite Jerome Hotel Next to Woman's Exchange T' 01 ised Toilet Articles t1 UPPLIES - Tax Paid U 1upply Company Columbia, S. C. C 1 t iAR STAND 0YOU Soda Candies viches 'our Patronage 1216 Main St. w Car ourself versity Students HOW TO GET OU DRIVE IT 4SH CARS BD MODELS Ia, Inc. catfed PHONE 3386 ~rothers 1427 Main Street | of cigars, cigarettes I periodicals | JLIARDS | t our sanitary lunch | rnr Patronuael