Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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SSORTED CAb Old Favorit BY THE LIN How it Would Work in the Family. "Johnny, did you take that jam? swer me this instant I" 'What jam, ma?" 'You know very well what jam. Did u take it?" "Thats a leadin' question ma. I can t incriminate myself." 'JOHNNY I" 'And besides, ma, its no crime to e jam, because there's no mention blackberry jam in the constitution." 'Johnny, I'm losing patience. Once re, did you take that jam?" 'Ma, I'd like a delay until next fall prepare my case. My witnesses have ne to Europe." 'You're overruled. If I waited you ht destroy the evidence." 'Then I want a change of venue." 'Overruled. This is just as good a ce as the woodshed." 'Can I have a habeas corpus, ma?" 'Johnny, you're hurting your own e by all this quibbling. Come now, you take it or didn't you?" 'Ma, I'd like to appeal the case to e court that is in session." 'Nonsense. This court is capable of ing it. If you're guilty I want to ow it, and if you're innocent I uld think you'd be glad to have a nce to prove it. Are you guilty or guilty?" 'NOT GUILTY, MAI" - U.S.C. - ray. Hoo--rah. Father's going be hung. -rah. Hoo-rah. The darned son-of-a-gun. was very rude to me when I was ng. o--ray. Thank Gosh; they are ging father. No, Mr. Realt BUT IT WOULD SEJ Not Steal Were it not for the statement the second paragraph of the fol wing article the editor would ve thought that one of his staff d joined the rank and file of Flor a real estate men. Certainly those us who were not fortunate enough have the time or the spondulicks acessary to view the wonders of na ire closer than picture post cards nt home by the more fortunate ones, yve a free trip of fered here . Scenic railways are unothing new in is country but here we offer you a1 urney (thru paradise it seems) free charge. But we warn you that we e not opening a land development ~anch and advise you not to part ith your shekels (at least until next 'ar wvhen you can see Blue Ridge >r yourself). Look upon01 its react ni on one man, pin up your pock s till we see you in the land of the y. --The Editor. or luxuriousness and expanding in a eless atmosphere 'of good fellowv accomplished by an abundant ntity and quality of 'eats' (handed by girls selected from colleges ov the South, and it requires no keen s of observatioon to remark that uty, feminine appeal, or whatever Scall it, was apparently not disreg ed as an eminent qualification for tensing the above-mentioned pro de kinder like having music with Is, for your digestion's sake, you w), miles of mountains tracery ling away into the azure with gol puff-balls moving before the ezes like Spanish gallons, whose Is are too thin to imprison the rud glow of the pieces-of.-eight with or dashed their treasure against summit of some distaint height cool ams that sliy prm.ime you a fs. 4PUS COMICS I ! Liver Pills FER DOCTOR Does this remind you of your youth? "Look, mamma, the circus is in town." "Hush, darling it's only one of (hose college boys." - u.s.c. - Johnny ate some pickles; Johnny ate some jam; Johnny ate some cream-cheese; Johnny ate ham; Johnny ate some Ginger bread; Johnny drank some beer; Now Johnny wonders why he feels so queer. Second and last verse. Oo-o-mp came the pickles; Oo-o-mp came the jam; Oo-o-mp came the cream cheese; Oo-o-m) came the ham; Oo-o-mp came the ginger bread; Oo-o-nmp comes the beer; Now Johnny knows why he felt so queer. - U.s.c. - Great aches from little corns grow. "Lest I forget, lest I forget," breath ed the student as he deftly palmed his pony and entered the examination room. My girl used to be a school teacher, but she hasen't any class now. - U.S.C. - Mrs. Archibald.- I do wish, Archi bald, that you wouldn't go to town wearing those old socks that are not mates. Arch.-Yes, but Just suppose you should be hurt in an auto accidcnt and taken to the hospital, and the doctors and nurses should see those socks weren't mates. Just think how mor tified I would be. - U.S.C. - Love is the gentle passion that en ables a girl to forget how nasty dish water feels. or, We Are TM THAT WAY, EH? ing Your Stuff ening, bracing shock, though you be in the nethermost depts of ennui, world weariness, and soul- lassitude, sports that put a grin on your face and a rav enous gnawling in your stomach-- for all this there is only one place college boys can go. No, Mr. Realtor, it is not offered for subdivision or exploration, although the site is in the very heart of "The Land of the Sky", on the flawless North Carolina highway thronged with tourists, thirty-odd miles from Hendersonville, about ten from Bilt more estate and Asheville, and just a cross the valley from the towns of Black 'Mountain, with the highest peak east of the Rockies only several dozen parasangs further removed. Its value cannot be estimated in dol lors and cents, for each suceeding year Blue Ridge becomes a larger and more meaningful experience to an increas ingly numerous group of boys from practical every institution of conse quence in the Southern states; not a lone to be laid away with aromnatic herbs among the other mnultitudinous~ 'college memories,, but to grow and p)rosper in usefulness, and add zest to the forward vision of possibilities. Phone 6061 Servic< McGHEE T09so0% WELCOME~ CARC Meet Your Friends Here 1128 Lady Street LND FEATURES Co-Eds Share Verdant Hue Attributed to Freshmen DUMBELL VS. DUMBDORA Eats, Sleeps, Walks, and Talks Whether You Believe It Or Not Freshman I A name familiar in the ears of all college u0ger classmen, and soon familiar to the Rats as well. The name applies to co-eds as well as men, if the present bunch at Carolina is typi cal of the first year women everywhere, and if freshmen are "green," then this is a real true class. How startling, how wonderful, and how amazing are many of thee questions and actions of the Carolina Co-eds this year. A glance would indicate that the gorls were worldly wise in every way, for they paint, powder, and floss up just the same as the old girls. During the first few days questions were numerous and nat ural, and even now they amuse and as tound us by their behavior and sudden ortbtirsts of interest. Practically all of the new girls in the dormitory and the annexes have paid ten cents for their chapel seats, rental for the entire year. The dignified se nior who has charge of "bookings" for the reserve sections was, however, the victom of her own boomerang when she accosted a "jollY" junior who was even wiser then she. One of the newcomers was on a mission up street and was com missioned to mail 1as special for her room mate. On passing a garbage recep tacle she thought it was a mail box and in went the respectable letter to its des tination. The freshman gayly laursued her way upl Main Street in search of a trash bas ket for her room. The ten cent store was her objective, and in the first the baskets were too small for her purpose. Out she went in search of a second, and next door was another red-front. In went the "rat" and she asked where the desired article was to be found. She asked to see them, and found the baskets Y.M.C.A BARBER SHOP EXCELLENT, WORK REASONABLE PRICES L. M. MCCARTY, Prop. Your Patronage Appreciated CAROLINA STUDENTS i A Good Place to Eat MRS. F. F. BELL 1012 Marion Street One-Half Block From Campus This Is To Invite You to The Rose Mary 1218 Washington Street Breakfast-Seven-thirty to Ten Lunch-Twelve to Four Dinner and Supper--Five to Eight-thirty Every Delicacy of the Season A Warms Welcome Always Is Our Motto: Give Us a Trial & MONROE LINDSAY ial Kings >LINA STUDENTS - Opposite Jerome H otel Next to Woman's Exchange to be identical to the ones she had al ready looked at.. At last it dawned upon her, at a snicker from the clerk, that not only the baskets were the same, but everything else.- She had only en tered the store by another door. On the return our "green-horn" pas sed Flinn Hall and. hearing a rather mournful sound exclaimed to her com THE STAG -C CATERS Magazines, Ciga and San We Will Apprecia Phone 8635 Gayden 1248 Main Street a We carry complete ii pipes, candy a POCKET I Try one of our lunche cou We Appreciate PLANTATION BA Curb Service - WE SPECIALIZE ON BRUNSWICK S' CHILI, IRISH S' SH ORT ORDER.S 1223 Lady Street SHAVING HAIR TONICS, HAIR OILS OTHER TOIL Columbia Barbers 1326 Main Street Headquartei University Te, Fountain Pens Note Book Co' Fillers, Etc. Remington Poi THE STATE: STATR NRWSPA panion. "Poor Rat, he must be getting a dread ful licking l" The sound increased, and on turning the corner a piano was heard. The voice swelled into what was soon recognized as one of "Matty's" pu pils hitting high "C". But they are only a few of the interesting incidents of "Happenings to Freshmen" in Caro lina "chicken coop". SHOES For All Occasions Complete Line of Novelties SAXON - CULLUM SHOE COMPANY 1508 Main Columbia IGAR STAND TO YOU rs, Soda Candies dwiches te Your Patronage 1216 Main St. Brothers rid 1427 Main Street ne of cigars, cigarettes nd periodicals IILLIARDS s at our sanitary lunch nter Your Patronage LRBECUE LUNCH Open All Night 'EW, GENUINE MEXICAN -EW, AND ALL, KINDS OF Phone 8395 SUPPLIES "STACOMiB" AND MANY EiT ARTICLES 'Supply Company Columbia, S. C. s For :t Books iers -table Typewriters. BOOK STORE PER BIHDING