Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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CAMPUS C] B-E.D-T-I.M-E S.T.O-R-I.E-S By the "Printers' Devil" He was a creature of impulse, noth ing to him was well done or success ful unless (lone on the spur of the moment, lie detested a planned affair. So whenever he had a "hunch" he played it to the fullest extent. Although Jack, for that was his name, lived only a few miles from the world famous race track of Tia Juania he was not a betting man. In fact he had never seen a professional horse race. On Thursday evening he decided to go to the big derby event in Tia Jua nia the next afternoon. That night he dreamed of hats, an avalanche of hats, hats of all kinds, hats of all colors. The next day when lie was prepar ing to go to the city lie could not find his own hat. On the motor ride to the race his companion lost his hat. Jack decided that there must be something in these omens so when he arrived at the race he scanned over the list of entries and placed his en tire roll upon a nag called Fedora. This was unfortunate for Jack had to go home broke. Fedora lagged be hind and came in last-much to the disgust of Jack for Sombrero won a name he had overlooked. MORAL: You can't always some times tell. - u.s.c. - MOTHER GOOSE? Hey diddle diddle KERSHAW and a fiddle VIRGINIA and a harvest moon. The little dog laughed to see Such sport For he knew what would happen soon. Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock. ELLA screamed, A mouse it seemed, Had run up her sock. - U.s.c. - ODE TO A DUMB-BELL (With Apologies.) I The shades of night were falling fast As o'er the Carolina campus passed A youth, whose name we all do know, For whom the world's ten miles too slow. II His brain is small and undersized; It will not work, it's paralyzed. His feelings, they are (uite as numb, His countenance entirely dumb. Excelsior! III An auto came and knocked him down, It broke his bones upon the ground. They opened up his head and found Excelsior!1 -- U.S.c. -- HOT MAMMA So Narrow-minded Was She If it were Not For her nose Her Ears Would touch. - U.s.C. - - U.s.c. - MANY COLUMBIA FIRMS ADVERTISE IN ANNUAL The following firmns have subscrib)ed for adds in our annual, Thle Garnet and Black. They are backing Caro lina and deserve your patronage. Trade with thenm and tell them why. Bon Marche, Habenicht-McDougal, R. C. Williamis Co., Sylvan Brothers, Perry-Mann Electric Co., Globe Dry Goods Co., The R. 1L. Bryan Co., The Southern Teachers Agency, J. L. Mim. unaugh & Co., Rogers Ice Cream Co., The State Co., Moffatt B. DuPre Co., Evans Motor Co., Hope-Davis Co., Carolina National Bank, The Murray Drug Co., S. B. McMaster, Inc., C. D. Kenry Co., Columbia Office Supply Co., A G. Dent. Many a man ties up ttie dog at night and lets his children~ run loose. LIPPINGS A] UNIVERSITY STUDENTS QUESTION PROFESSORS The students of Birminghan-Sou thern are turning the tables on the faculty of that school by their pro posed intelligence tests for the "profs." The question will be of a type which would apply to the average college student, and many of the answers will come from observable facts concern ing the college. All the answers will be graded, and the grades of each in dividual on the faculty printed in the feature sections of this year's an nual. - U.S.C. - P. C. PAPER COMMENTS The entry of the University of South Carolina upon the one hundred and twentieth year of its existence has been marked by a spirit of optimism that has come from its many success es of the past few years. The pres ent enrollment nuniberg about 1250, and is the largest in the history of the University. In proportion to the enrollment of students, the faculty of the University is the smallest in num ber of any of the State institutions of higher learning. A few more teach ers have been added, and it will be necessary to add others in order to take care of the vast number of stu dents at the University. For this rea son, and also in order to repair the main buildings on the Campus, Dr. Melton has asked a larger appropria tion from the State Legislature.-The Blue Stocking. - U.s.c. - Harvard University Freshmen, find ing that life had suddenly become dull and uninteresting, recently requested that unrestricted hazing be permitted, and the authorities voted that hazing be officially sanctioned. Fifty-two miles on a bicycle every week-end over a lonely and hilly road -that is merely one of the incidents of getting a college education for Eu gene McCulley, a freshman in Hays Teachers' College at Hays, Kansas. Juniors at the College of Emporia have accepted a challenge issued by the faculty for a whisker growing con test to last three weeks. - U.s.c. - GARTERS SENT COLLEGE SHIEK BY FAIR CO-EDS The iiquiring reporter of "The High Hat" has uncovered information which clearly shows that the co-eds are ex erting a desirable influence upon those of the opposite sex on the campus. Supporters of co-education have con tended that one of the most desirable results to be derived would be notice able in the reformation of the boys dress with the appearance of the girl upon the campus. The recent find supports this assertion. Among other peculiarities of the dIress of the college man is the custom of allowing their socks to (drape around their ankles in a very untidy manner. Trhis fashion found an ardent suppor ter in one of the men students of \Villiam and Mary, who sacrificed the tendler feelings of the co-ed to that of Dame Fashion. Saturday the young man in ques tion received a pair of dainty pink supplorters, together wvith the follow ing bit of verse : "With Apologies to the 'Indian War Cry' " "The co-edls are sending these garters to you, l',mbarrass'.d by sight of your bare legs in view; Your shanks may be short and your ankles well shaped, But we'd like to see them more mod estly draped. So. put on these garters; buckle them tight They'll keep your laundry marks hid from our sight. Tri-colors waving out from below Notice 'No metal touches you'--and so Wear thenm with faith they won't scratch or hurt, And you'll be protectedl from exter nal dirt." - u.s.c. Hiram (picking up a bowl)--"Mary, would yoti have a nut?" Mary--"Oh I Hiram, this is so sud (len." ND COMICS D.I-P-I.Y'.S D-I.T.T-I-E.S By Count de Berries BELIEVE IT? A woman's heart like a toy balloon Knows no binding or fetter She never loves a man so well That she can't love another better I had a girl seemingly true, But vamp me, I would not let her, So, it don't hurt my heart a gosh darn bit. To see my rival get her. - U.S.C. - I WONDER .Oh, why do you tease me? Oh, why do your tempt me? Oh, why don't you leave me alone? Then, why don't you miss me? And, why don't you kiss me ? And why don't your cry when I'm gone. - U.s.c. - NONSENSE O Chemist of Skill, investigate! Answer this quiz of mine. I think I konw what Carbonate, But where did Iodine? - U.S.C. -- WAIL OF TEARS Bachelors' Prayer; From the women we love may the Good Lord protect us; we'll protect ourselves from the rest. Often on a midnight dreary, when you're feelin blue n'weary And the cares of life are many, an' you're wondrin "Whats the use" When it's rainin' an' the drippin' seems to set your feet to slippin' And you catch yourself a sippin' from that good old jug of booze. Well! There ain't no use of prayin'. You just hear yourself a sayin' As your gaze falls to the floor, "You're a curse, a demon maybe, But at least you don't decieve me. And we simply won't be parted, never more." Tell me not in mournful numbers Life is but an empty jug. If you leave behind the kisses, You're a nut, a simple bug. Lives of jazz-hounds all remind us We can make our lives a show. Spin your tops with wicked wind-ups And don't let the wimmen "No." Let us then be up and doing It is never quite too late. Drain your flask and start pursucing Only janes who will not wait. - U.S.C. - THE MOURNERS PSALM. l.-My wife is my boss; I shall not deny it. 2.-She maketh mc lie downi behind the b)ed when the swell company conmes; she leadeth me behind her up miain street. 3.-Shie restoreth my pocket book after she hath spent all the contents for hob)ble-skirts and theatre tickets; and( she leadeth me in the main isle at church for her new hat's sake. 4--Yea, though I walk more rooms with a crying babe, I will then half the night get no rest, for she is be hind me; her broomstick and hat pin do everything but comfort me. 6.-She prepareth a cold snack for mie, then mnaketh a bee-line for an old society supper; she anoineth my head with a rolling-pin occas4naliy my, arms runneth over with bandIes be fore she is half done with her shopping. 7.-Surely her dIress-maker's and mil.. linery bills will follow me all the days of my iife; and I will dwvell in the house of my wife forever. - u.s.c. - You're only a vampire A flapper-conceited liar You're just like a (log With a bone. I had the swellest little girl, A frosh co-ed named Esther, She had the looks, but not the brains, She's not here this semester. "I see you have a new room-mate," "No--I bought this tie myself" "As Copeland Goes, So Goes the Fashion" LEARN THE WAY CLOTHING Stylish Clothes for College Men who $25.00 to $55.00 want quality as well as style. HATS The New Shapes and Colors most de $3.50 to $10.00 sired always in stock. FURNISHINGS Manhattan Shirts. Van Heusen Collars Everything That's New Cheney Neckwear, Munsing Underwear. Ful Dress Sus Copeland Suits Made to For Rent Measure. Company 1535 Main Street Columbia, S. C. GET SMARJT STYLE -But Get - HART SCHAFFNER & MARX QUALITY BACK OF IT M. L. Kinard, Inc. 1523 Main Street Columbia, S. C. CLASS RINGS CLASS PINS - WATCH REPAIRING - Our Watch Repairing Department is well-known all over this section of the country for its efficient and accurate work. We give you the best work at very reasonable prices is P. H. Lachicotte & Company - Jewelers - t 1424 Main St. Columbia, S. C. t COLLEGE MEDALS TROPHY CUPS C al When You Write Your Gal -- Come to BURNETT'S DRUG STORE Where We Have th Setationery That Will Make He'r Love You If She Doesn't Yet-All With Carolina Seal and in Colors-$l.50 Per Box S< d McMASTER, Inc. tl --ATHLETIC GOODS Corner Sumter and Hampton Sts. Columbia, S. C. e~ P1 81 R. C. WILLIAMS & SONS IncorporatedTi, FURNITURE, RUGS, LINOLEUM, SHADES, PILLOWS 1638 Main Street Columbia, S. C. Phone 5815 ji Patronize Our Advertisers -- They Deserve it s1