Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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ptr,~t~ b.ans Carolina P,psh t iekd When He Goes po,641 to the Yellow Sheet) #rson, March 31.-Never before i old saying "A man's success nasatred if he merely can do one er' proved more true than in se"of Frank T. Meeks of the rsity of South Caro'lina. Mr. i attejnpted to elope this even .,. with his childhood sweetheart of tid city. It is requested that the youn lady's name be kept secret. The attempt was frustrated by the quick action of the irate father. Mr. Meeks approached the house as ithe shades of evening were falling one hit him on the head as he was entering a window. Not to be daunted the lad returned to the barn and se cured a ladder which he placed against the window. He had succeeded in cfimbing hlf I way up the .ladder' hen the second mishap stopped his .Progress. It -seems that the house cat that ad een reposing on the window sill was regaling the neighborhood with choice renditions in "E" flat. A well frected shoe put an end to the angel chorus and Tom Kat, brother of Krazy Kat hurriedly descended fro his perch using Mr. Meeks' head for a midway ktlnding point. Uncertain whether he had been shot or the roof had fallen on him the erstwhile lover loosened his hold and fell. Poor Tommy Kat was under him. "Well," said the rising young accoun tant as he felt the cat under him, "that gives me one credit against the first two debits, I'll try again and bal ance accounts." But contrary to all the rules of bookkeeping as taught in the business department the idebits kept mounting 'up. "I'll serenade my love," he said, "the "Y' songs will be so inspiring." He was right, his singing inspired Deacon Jones, one of the next-door neighbors, who has been bed-ridden for ten years, to arise and come to the window with a shotgun. The music stopped while Meeks pulled out stray buckshot. At least the maiden awoke. She had swooned upon reading one of F. T.'s red hot love letters which he had cop ied from the Christian Advocate. She came to her window but as it was on the other side of the house not one glimpse of her ardent suitor did she espy. To her soft call he came trip ping-over two clothes lines and an empty box. "A lack my love," quoth she, "sweet papa has locked my door and I can not come to you." "Fear not," answered the dauntless hero, "love will surmount all obstacles ---with the aid of a trusty ladder." So he (lid hie himself again to the other side of the house, carefully avoid ing the clothes lines and box, only stepping in a pan with the family wash. The ladder secured he mounted the second time. Then bedlam. The ladder a precious heirloom, hav ing be.en brought over in the May fl,ower, collapsed as the swain passed ts- middle point. All happened so quickly that the unfortunate one had not time to leap to safety, he was cata onplated into the sitting room in the fest floor there to land in the lap of the direful father. SAbandoning, The Farmer's Weakly ,,Dgestion Report the host arose, and, 'j" e he recognized, the uninvited guest, rtdin pursuit. Then it was that Ki~'st ime of traIning at the University 0s$ ball swung the tidle for the mo tin favor of the younger man. A sppy Start, netted a three yard ad J<age, ~e n ight have been sl1ort SregeyNI~ sprinted dri ~sfp a ku4 labded on. the 4 q '~eb~n From the hous to ~ ~ ,as reduced to TO CIWI ONSCREEN. MADE GREAT HIT. RECENTLY Swanson Ofe.rs Place in Her, Newest Production-tar Remains Silent The secret is out! 'A member of the faculty was once a motion picture actor and is even now receiving pleas from such stars as Fairbanks, Pickford,' Valentino and others to return. Glo ria Swanson sent 4 cablegram only yesterday asking him to take the lead ing part in her latest picture, "The Dis carded Chewing Gum." The way this secret was disclosed is as follows: At the Town Theatre the other evening the audience was held spell bound, weeping and laugh ing alternatively with the humor or pathos, of this wonder actor. Encore after encore had to be responded to be fore the entranced audience would go home. So many demands have been made for seats at the return engage ment of this play that Danny Reed has decided to build a theatre that will ac connodate ten thousand people. The professor has nothing to say he only curls his little mustache with his Cutexed and immaculate hands and will say nothing except, "I hope it will not effect the cotton market."' But gosh! the cat is halfway out- of the bag and straining all nine lives to get further. Far be it from me, an humble re porter to .divulge the secret, but in sympathy for the said professor who has ruined his bank account by send ing autographed pictures, and says that he cannot favor any more fair damsels even though they make break their heart, it is my duty to put you wise. The varlet is none other thad Prof. R. B. Miller of the school of commerce. - U.S.C. - ARTHUR MEDLOCK IS HOLDER OP THE SACK Gladly Received Into Secret Organiza. tion of Lewis Colleg. At a regular meeting' of the Jack ass Club held Monday 'evening in its clubs rooms in Ted Lewis College, Ar thur Medlock formerly of North Au gusta was initated into the mysteries of the organization. Because of his unusual aptitude Mr. Medlock was elevated at- once to the office of Su preme and Exalted Holder of the Sack. The new member entered through the western portal chanting the secret song wvhich begin with the words: "All hail the long-eared barnyard king." Trheni were begun the mysterious rites which can be experienced by only the choice few. It soon became evident that Medlock was an enthusiastic joi ner for he went through the fmnal ser vice with great relish. With the new Sack-holder the club will begin an active drive for eligible members. "The'-ceremony was impres sive and I shall allvays remembel it," was all that Medlock would say for publication. - U.S.c. Miss Margaret McCall, best girl of Mr. Robert Hoyt Flinn, fell yesterday and hurt herself on the backa porch. Miss Denna Snodgrass niarrowly es caped death last week in an automobile accident. She was hit at ,the intersec tion of Gervias and Sunmfer streets. Miss Virginia Utsey is reovering. from a fractured rib which she receiv ed when the swing, in which she andy Bennie Smith Were uittin~g, fell Mr. Smith's arm Is fast mending liiss Della Evana:h~u' entirely re covered fronv the headache which slioiled her wieek-end. iss arone hasIas etitered the 1923beauy eniest at 'Atlantic Ciy. toh ~ MoQre, Cc~ WANT1 -4tude6t make niore than a gaef' on' of 'niy Frenh C sses. A py to.0. L. Keith. FOUND-A registered Aletter from post-bAce .in September.' Contains $20 in cash. Owner mq have by paying for this ad. W. Graham. LOST-My dignity as a pedagoguo. Liberal reward. Calhoun Thomas, LEARN TO make Love in. three les sons. Satisfaction Guaranteed. An na Swindell. WANTED-More students in. my Chemistry I classes. G. F. -Lip scomb. FOUND-A sure way to win at poker ;t roulette. Methods absolutely satisfactory. R. G. Bell, Secre tary Y. M. 'C. A. LIBERAL-Reward to anyone thinks the YELLOW SHEET is funny. See Circulation Manager. FOR' SALE-A black military cape, excellent for winter wear, reason for selling .1 want to. buy a book on the Advantages of Greenlle. Apply Yates Snowden. WANTED-You to learn of my" new brand of two for a nickle cigars. Suitable for class room use. All lawyers using them will receive a -grade of A. E. Marion Rucker. STOLEN--4A Burroughs Calculating machine from my office. Reward and no questions if returned'for I cannot work any math prob lems now. J. B. Coleman. FOR SALk-Cheap, a Pierce-Arrow. Has never been used. See Dr. Burney at once for a bargain, WANTED-A date with each other. Myra Hunter and Dan ~ Smith. Same applies to Vera Kahn and Jimmy Baldwin and Blanche Fol son and Cy Young. STRAYED-A pet -bull pup with snub tail somewhere between the libra ry and the Woman's Building. Re ward of two dog biscuits if re turned to Ruth Langfelder. FOR RENT-Comfortable apartment to young, married couple with sou thern exposure. Apply "Ma" Mid dleton. WANTED-Someone to tell me the meaning of the magic symbol ,B. B. D. See Mary Gaillard. STOLEN-My pet line of "bull" and the right to -use "by the immortal gods I" Return to Bill Morrison, 1492 Lawer's Row. No questions asked. EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS-To my copy righted "sour, cynical, savage" look for sale to one who shows ability to maintain my reputation. Kold Kohiman Karesh. 6. -4o }r 1-. 1 1 fib $5,* Wd. wptonSt Ing> Two-Pants $iit$3hi Marshall-Tatun Corner M~n~ d spton St~ ou~ Mallory Hats $5 and $6 Every new shade with the high crowns and roll brims $25.00 -$35.M0 -$45.00 Are the Price of Two-Trouse~r Suits for Spfn~ SPECIAIL on Fancy Colla'r Attede Shirs $1.95 Each or 3 for $5.5( COGGINS &J NSON 1300 Main Street lY .J1N0,M I6MunSt * .t MI tq~MI,