Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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0644sl titie l4t~y Socleve~ ipi,s outh tarolina Postoff ce 'o -2 ~ 908, ~s 5ec66 .1s* Mall Matter. s NgWS STAFF .. ......... FAitor-in-Chief LARD .......... Managing Editor" I,4'R .... ...... ..... ..Scandal Edit*r k. . ............. ...... Sports Editor UN'THOMAS ........... Faculty Editor BALL ......... ...:.... Literary Editor SMITH ....................Political Adviser Y REED .................Staff Cartoonist REPORTERS Meltn, Reed Smith, W. S. Currell, G. A. ttch6pe, R. M. Kennedy, Mrs. M. A. Middleton. BUSINESS T S SNOWDEN ....................Manager .TOR WILLIS .................Circulation CHASE ................:...........Censoc TEEPLE .........,......Chief Engineer MARCH 31- APRIL 1 , e wonder if the posters advertising "Land of for the Columbia Theatre tonight are only er April Fool Joke. -U.s.c. - There's nothing April Foolish about getting April C koled with an April Fool Edition. -U.s.c. The Wise keep their mouths shut on a April Fool 0 only the. Foolish lel you know 'the joke comes 9 ohe. -U.S.C. Foolish Policies The Yellow Sheet wishes to announce its poli for the coming "Yaller" editions for the next 1-2 years. We realize that a paper without a, ey is like a bed without its springs or Toots ;Ssey without his grin. We want for the Greater University: .1--A Hall of Fame in which there shall be ced each year, a life-sized bust'of the best din epickier on,,the campus. !No man to be eligible 4hpre than once.) 2.-FIy swatters for the class rooms during the mer months to guard against any stray fly of may choose to destroy our slumbers. 3-Trapdoors placed in the floors of the class .ooms so that professors may be quietly and harm. .essly removed when the students determine by 4pebiscite that they have had enough of the lec AM tre. 4.-A library in which conversation is tole ated where young men and women may gather V d discuss the social events of interest. A base nent to be fitted with such acoustic properties as are- necessary for ukalele music. All reference tnaterial for debates is to be carefully concealed so hat there can be no room for argument. 5.--Retransfer of the dining services from the 4Jefferson to the old Stewards Hall so that the stu dents may once more obtain a substantial and ap ptizing menu. For Luminous Dials Why we ask are we pestered with the tire ~;soine repetition of age-old shibboleths which make S, 'r lives miserable ? For what purpose have these ,. ~*l-styled critics set themselves apart as our say lhQls? We must i nestly say that we fail to see' * ~ nofie ideals and aereby declare that we re to trust In the reform siovement in progress our campus. -. A ord as to this childish ranting in regard eg post .office l It is too bad that we must -so mt:$h'printer's ink in discussing so tri t~~sbject .as 'the mail service at Carolinia. The, hekor twenty dollars In bills, Is after Incesptal matter in the lives of the 'din,stW4Nht body. Who cares whether thme jefe'd, onde a day 'or twice a day-or att ertanty we have attained that ~flife ##dk1chman lives btst to hlim Jdtli cont4tninating influence of the SagitatiQfnptepea a4aJe' extremely ~~ik41Threased sp tl e The foU9g4It gleaned fr t4e: conye of the 'et td&t d4Y_ A sitl t be obeidi pos'es a claa o etis copipat conjrehotisiblenes; a a., stt oos tenlcy nd s cohcatenated 10e vleh tentdi eschyw. all conglomeratio6a of flalent%, arrulif and -ainine affectation, avoidingat .the,sanle tim all plaitudnous ponderosh. All. of the extemporaneous. descanting and, unpremeditated expatiations heiein set forth, wllL show a lack of all polysyllabic profundity, ponip. ous prolixity, psittaceous vacity, ventritoquls verbosity, and vaniloquet4t vapidity. I have con. scientiously sidestepped all double entendres, prut rient jocosity, and pestiferous profanity,. obsen rant of apparent. 'In othet words I- ath so ele... morgeously illiterate;' that I am compelled to ex postulate with discretion. I sencerely hope that my. use of internal phraseology will not hinder your comprehen'sion. Respectively Robert Ingram. - U.i.c. - Believe It or Not It is a great shame that the University of South Carolina has as its head a man who is. so unsiympa thetic with the student's as is Dr. Melton. He never takes any interest at all in any student activities and no man ?n the' campus would think of approaching him with their trivial troubles for fear of his dis pleasure. His very countenance itself forebodes evil for the student that may incur his wrath. Dr. .Melton never smiles and his frown sends even the most stout heart ed scurrying for cover. The president has occupied the chair for three years now and it is through no fault of his that the University of gouth Carolin4 does not rapid. ly decline in growth. It is a marvel even to him that it manages to maintain its average student body. Dr. Melton has never done anything for Carolina and we fear he neverwill - U.s.c. - THE WEEKLY ORACLE There's One Born Every Minute With Two to Take Him By I.M.P. WE are THE vox populi * * * I* * * ALL BORN with RISES in * * * * '4 * A lot of NOTES OF * * ** * * . DOWNRIGHT FOOL WILD ACCLAIM to * * * * IN us. KING JACKASS. - * * .* * * SOME OF us AND if you * * * ADMIT it and REMAIN silent * * * * THEY say we PRIDE NOT * * * / YOURSELF HAVE THE * * * ** FOR you too INFERIORITY * * * * *4 *ARE of COMPLEX. * * * ** * THE breed. OTHERS don't**4 * * *OTHERWISE IF they have * * * * MON * *P *L NERVE ENOUGH UI Q THEY are*** * * * "WISE MEN" BUT if they *J~VaJ 44* *4 ~ FAIL lA IfO THE RESTl of a 4 * * *. LABEI t)ci Z(u ~W~Q -'.'00 C ED asse" s TElnjet~ ' VIA te havl ji$ ~rismbIht of the Th on ihe: . atatue U the bfack anied h .6;44 Ot be left i npaitited b 11 IL painters,P -The' comtnittee has'6 "6P 9 6 time on a )plah Wreas tOe W the sun so it wl.c4t a' i in the daytimetahd to .it hc o 4 te i act'ikewise at night The sight that -s, bvheld wfieh n one- A the catnpus is so' a% tily wo6e'rflth ,r"t' foin all parts of the to.ae thu6rding Pians and Architeetual draWOg have ',fread been submittedt for the erect on of The lace which we believe' will be one of .he most to date and well equipped dormitofles in- any colltee or university in the South. The structure of marble is to cover an aOre oi ground and is tc) be. twelve 'stories high. The cdl umns in the front of the buiding are' to be four feet in diameter and seventy feet high. Triiise columns are -to be made of the finest. grade imported, Italla* marble. Starting with the first floor, it is planned o:j the inside thusly, on entering one As reminded of the l65by of the Waldorf-Astoria. The second floor is ..to' be a theatre and (Vera house with a seating".capacity 8,000 Iors number three four, five, si: and, Seven kre tote the sleeping qur ters df the boys.. Each boy is to have his bd room, lounging room, La room for his valet, and three ,more rooms for his harem. Each set of rooms is also equipped with a tub, shower, and furkish' bath. It is hoped that the eighth floor will be the rival. of"the famous Monte Carlo. On. this floor there will be one hundred - pool tables, tables foi f'ar;o layouts,, p6ker, oraps,-bridge, blal-jack, ones John and as many other games. as the boys may desire. At first the plans were made so that only one floor would be used for a' necl ing larlor but after, much consideration it was decided that the ninth: and tenth floors would be used fpr this. purpose. Floor number eleven, we believe, is the first of its kind in the country The entire floor is to' be as one largi shower both with running ice watkr. qThis will be used in case some of the. gan'g get too friendly with John Barleycorn. The last and.without a doubt the most elaborate and expensive floor of all is to be the ball room. The walls, are 'to be decorated with paintings by some of the world's greateit paint slingers the-' floor is to be inlaid wit,h silver dollars..' the ele. tric fixtures are so fixed that they cap'e madetO *make the room one quarter darkneSs,emi-dark ness, 'three quawterp dgrknes. then ,totally dark,. "Spookendike's "57 VarietIes' have signed a .thirty year contract to p3ey' for' all, entertainments. The' Palace, which will be completed 'It about, ~nine- months, Is thiost heartly welcomed by all the' Gamnecocks as their new roost. INTIMyATE GLIMPSES CAROLINA JUSTORY' The year 1926 Is considered the Anud MAra balls'. at the University. It was truly * year -'of nilracles. 'Only two poor 'fresliten were expelled .foir fihnkipg courses and thopl 'acked preparation. The, honsor Committee was declared di*banded' for there was no further use foethem at Carolina. Not one drunk was seen on the catnpus' dlg',1al1 year. The boys in Woodr~v College heI notnp watch In each, tenemnent.' All the nieigbens ofthevr 'lWc JcCng oined the wat'er, wagon and 9~*' -suf. them:was aske'd to sign , rfI, -sv' ing, non'dissapation pled ens ltao~. a~Second helping of deso~ t~1 t v ad~ "8lo t'oi the SO0i, degts%ede ~ th* 'tS'C l4t eh~d nat p4 chape 'niteA~ Ay J N .j"p nIt We' 'Mc9 *A CS, ~4 r6d 4. ~ 4S4.1 t kth M ar '3 asure( i ou ta4 Puri :.)ilk IOe AKins tin We St a vegru - 7 * *n4, Me.r~humj' % Fn ch