Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL (Cctntinued from Page (One) migratil t tallk about the two canl <hitlates. "It is goilit to be . lift Sum ier," sai<l ine f4d farmer two imith! ago. Ile was righ-t. l'ach calliate set to work. C()(] idge feels tire of the New F ,nglan( Slate. iut is spenling his time inl th, \\ e-t. F mipkin-s took inl the miiddl w\t- as a starter. I-Iis pilitical friend are caring for the far west. The Soutl i, iil as usial. Cainlidate (Omlidt,e has the foAll,winl; phliks in his plat firm: (I) Strict it fircement of the pri4bitii law. (2 N,< dates botween single l e Ic (3) / tiiii--age tax (f $10.0110 per couple am ( high tax on Im'.vies. lie starte<l il e. unp11aigl with mu1ch suecess. ami wa ollobwe<l by the crfwds. blit as soo(il a Tinlkinis git his "Blig Ierthas" , \\Irk.:ig the tll' ry welt wild. 11 ieels silre of ()hiii anil Ii., alimig th -I"ubtfil list. This week ie has hee in western New \'ork. The crbwd 1-ave stbIoImed the halls tio hear i, every where. Vriday. at Albanly, wler le was scie<ille< to speak twice. lie wa frce<(l to adl<less tive and clices. I,as nlight tillsails were tirnel awav frl tle gar<dls. Thus the deman<d fo him there agail tonlight. Ile will pr(ih ablY spend tlt rest of the week in 'tia Ait v. ihe New YIrk Times. a string Re publica'-1 paper. has been co1iwluctiig ,traw viitt of tie cillitry. S1mla nlight this vome stf)1d : 0)(ilidge 3,01)(t, 000, Timpkins 7.228,350. ThIel. majmrit iif the R(epiubilIcants votes atre iti. hu tle sidii Sith is vet toi be hear<d friir The big Rlpublican papers appear dis applinitedl. Thing-s look to,i mutch lik a walk-iver for the Democratic mat Campaign matnager \\'wds Said las nliht that Tmpkins was gainiig pop Whirity ilaily. Hlis platfm is appeal ing to) tlie ;latimn. "I believe that ou mian will heat "'Cal'" five -4) otne in No vetlitb-r." We have int entered th New IInglamd Status We will nlot tr, t take away the limile voftes" Ie sail NIcAdi1(m wir es .tlat tile West is pilinlj ip string for 1Tpkins. "Al Siit1 says New Y'rk will go Democratic thi year. "' ilsi gave his life for tile Natioc lI e fioulghlt for tile I,eague of Nationsi lie stood fir Demoicracy aid jistice t, all. IIe 1os.t biutt his cuMSe has not beei lIst. \Vith the elect io ill of To mp11Ik in tile United States will soon take lie place at the table o)f na-tionbs. sal Ostar \\'. Underwomd Sundav whIjil passing tl-t Chicago. The coitry appareittlv is in a m1M00. i a chantge in the a<nlinilistratimn thi yea Ir. The Ripblicamls mu11st go. TIo11 lithl "T-a 1(t Oil" Scandal, anld grail A c ustrtive i )emicratic a<hiistra tiln, lheaded by at man 4bf Ir. Tomiip Univers Styles That Ar Corr ect \VIIT:'H2R the< for the three-bu English collegia and long rolling wvith loose, strait in our Collegial lines, --authentic b nient of that gr acknowledged as their own indivi J. L. Mimi Cln.ml Hick Mills Writes Great Book on Love Receives Fine Recommendations From Prominent Members of Student Body Mr. J. 1,. Mills (known on the cai pus as lick) has receitly written a great b)ok oil Love, etitled: "How to \ inl the F.Ilusive Maiden." This great work has met with instant approval. The bo1M)k is selling so fast that the pub fishers are working oventimle so as to supply tie dema,.!(d. The book retaiis f1r $5.t0 anld acc< rdiq, to Mr. Alan eCutt-cein it is wti %vorth the price. NI r. IcCitchiol, !!.e budding oing lo)ve artist of oin calmulpis. says .tlat mutich (if his success is due to Mr. Mills' ho k. )r. Thitorne Sparkmlan1. a IemIber I ic illistrilills "Scrill) Faculty" has read .\Ir. \Nills' hook and highly rec 011mm11elnls it. Dr. Sparkman says that Mr. Mills' ideas about Love exactly coitcide with his owin. Prof. Karesh. \l. A . ,1.D., lh.D., says that he flinds only onet. fault with "low to \Wi. the l.lusive. Maidenl." "it would le a real literary masterpiece if it colntaile-I a I few ap l) pr iate SpanIsh love Verses." says 'rof. Karesh. M r. \\'. J. Thlm as. a Iter reading M r. N ill's mllaster pilece. said "Now I know how ti alwlle that dear yolng lady at Coker." These are only a few Of the iumierouis lit'es wlh have been bieUlefitted by Mr. Mills' great work. Sile tle stccess of hi work has ie Sle so prolounced ill a finalncial war. NI r. Mills has bollght hlilmself a new - light green Stetson hat which he wears I everywhere. This has caused conster nation aniiitig our co-eds. They .are 1)(iw getiig up t a petitio 4to beg \IMr. - Mills to discard his headpiece. A yoiung - co-ed walked tup to Mr. Mills the other rlay d i the oxilipis aid said in a sweet vice : "M r. M ills, please donl't wear a ha-t. We Co-eds simply adi)re your -bright reId htair. Needless to sayv Mr. . . ills Ila; purp)-sely 14ist his hat. tThe Uliversity of South CaroljWia is I highly honlored ill having Mr. Mills il i her sttident hOly. Alas! M r. M ills has one(Irawhack. ()ie obstacle to over . come before his success will be sut prelie. //e is from Cam<len! M Miss lrhage got a hundred in a Ilmath (Illiz. S-omlethiong had to burni up.; kills type is wiat is Ieetled. Can liln.a students aret preparinig to declare a gen eral holidav -the week before the eec ;i "' 'I s1tini Ile colitry for I1urley. iltI lIt for the South ! J"i fteenl fir South Carolina. A University sttldent is g"illig to be the next president of ihe- United Sta.tes. ity lem1andl of the collegiate man is on coat with short vent-or the te style, with wider shoulders lapel-or the new broad coat ~ht back-they are all to be seen e Room, cut along authentic ecause they have the endorse up of University men who are setting the style standards for dual type. 1augh & Co. Formula Derived For of Expan Charles F. Mercer Proves t Students in Their Prais By Storm---Call on Tle bo1arding house world will be revutio inized in its entirety by the ,tartling discovery made last evClnig by irofess(,r Charlie Nercer of the IPhysics Departmen-t of the U.niversity 41f Soith Carolina. Ile entire stitldeit hodv was arouised from its peaceftil ( ) slumbers at 2 :00 A. NI. hy tle joyful an-t boisterous slhiis if lti.reka! I havu found it!" .venl 1lhe nightly crap game in tene meit ----- was adjourned to investigate tle sItree of tile turbullent uprising. I leidreds of students poIured out into the mlain (uadrangle f-ml thi d(mors of every tenemneti and started (n the run ftor .laxv uviinmilletit from whence the shrieks seeied to come atind where the CIV dignifid professor cild he seen tilu-nig hanIspriigs arolid the base 44 this hIistmoric Stonle. When all of tle stuidenit s had rgather ed armnd tile memorial monutneit the erstwhile geitleman began to take no tice of his audience. I-Intirely uncon sciflus as to Itle informality of the sit itation anid the varying degree of tin dress evideit in his hear-rs. Ie at 01nce hegal t'o explainl this un1usial ()titltrst. As near as ye reporter was able to write downl the speech til a friendly nightshirt, this is the substance of his discirse : "Gentlellen: and Mr. - - I ain relliided upe.i -this occasion of the jikc they tell abit tihe Johnstown flohd (general lie-Ilaw). \Vell, to proceed, a fter many hiomrs of untiring analysis and painsiaking research. iot Ie men tiol tile colitless hot dawis co\suged I have at last derived the formula for TillI COEFFI'lCIllNT OF E:X.P:\N SMON O' BOILED1'. PRUN l.S. I have fearlessly laid my life and happi %iess in the welfare of the boarding lose habitue. During my experillent. the safety )f life and limb was con stantly endangered. W ith yir grac ions permission I shall attempt to ex plain h(ow- I made my discovery. '"IThle countless thousands wo hlave in the dim years of the past suiTered a real tunimy ache as a result of over il'htilgence inl that lusc ions ald tempt ing morsel. the PRUNEl, .an now de Iiaid unlimited( qiluiatities if that imoist perfect fruit iof nature; all because of my1V unui11sual disctverv. "ltr years the significance of the wrinkles ill PRUNK-'S has remained ai insidiable mystery. n \fllt lieries have been advaliced tily\ to fall by the wayside 111ul applicationl. This indeed has bCen 111the gioal of every scien-list ill every land ai(d of every geleration. V1in may well feel proid that i- of ymur fellow comlpatri4ts has at last made it possible for the Universi-v -\! nss Ilall toi feed its boarders on ah soliutely ntinilg. "'l'his revel'atin h ias come by4. li o( ac cident, one14. has ti lint scani thle t1reme Iy simle foirmula to petrce'ive thtat it 's as c'lear as mud11. Ikeside it 2x2 is more enmiiplex thm-' 411he. Wiernmste'in Thellory "Sinly : Proceed by way of M ain St ree't to Wtoo lw~orthi 5 and I1t0e stiore, c'asuaIly pturch'ase a Santa Claums mask anud hasten home. Place the miask uponi the face anid slip quietly behind thei boiwl of prunes ((n the piant ry shelf, of nc.essa ry wvear bal loontl~I dilped, rubber iredh shoes. Seize' (one oif tIle smaller speimeniiils bietween the ear a,nd the. ki tchlen table, then flee toi tIhe sanumn iif the laboratory. By a fiusion tif tile particles I) to those' oif SI IM P and t he conisequental re.actionil PD Q inivolving thme pirobllem of whiethetr gr.4een lceese' b)ought on Mon tday can thiree. yards oif cloth sometimles. Should o' go ~iisatte (crazy) w~hilec t(est ing this theory there is tIhe lunatic asylum. Aboive' all dnlci'i f(orget finally to pouir steaminlg hot ice wvater. If this doeiisn't oibtaini the desiredt results 4lhen by the4. adndit imn oif a quart of carbolic acidl yout will have madec the best home birew you ever .tasted. Oh boy ! What a kick!"4 Cries of "I-ear ! H-ear I" intierruptedi (lhe distinguished speaker. Tlhe ever enthutsiastic students cnuld wvait neC Itonger. T(hey lif'ted this World benie factor to their shoiuldters anId began their triumphant march in the general dlirectionl oif Main Street. "The Co-efficient sion of Boiled Prunes" o be Great Creative Genius e of Him Take Columbia Governor and Mayor heavenls and to alyolle else within the radius of tw) miles the boon which this great man had given to long stiffer I ng humnaoity. 'Ile disciples of law and order in the shape of -tile entire CoItlllll)ia Po lice I)epartment (all both of them-ill, inl cliding the chief) sought to stem the ide o)f youthful exuberance. Tleir eff.tirts were natight, one iiglit as well have hade Niagara to stop its (1,wiward . flow. The silver tongued orat4ory of tile great man had comi ph'ely enthralled the tea hounds, dill g!e Ipickers, huimlpkills. huilmners, dar 1.gs: am ilow the guardians of the peace. (? One of the wiser ( ) ones turned 'n tle fire alarm. The high pwered Ford truck callie tearing dowin tile street ,it the( terrific speed of 18 gasps per hour. throwing cloids of dlust to .the sky. The fire departeiln-i t clung desperately to tle wIheel as he rounded tlie corner. T'here was a shriek of the brakes and uei everytiig broke Ilose. 'I'lie subse<tent march to the Gov ernuIr's m1,ansiI ( ?) is ni(,w a Ipart of histoiry. The SIl).R form of his htnor' shivered as Ie sttotodl in tle scilrchinll! rays (If tle midnight Still aind listenled .to the Wiiolderfuil properties (if NI .\llRERZl%IA ) lR RNFS. 1.1e out ionimis *were adopited o)I tile sjbIt Ilow marked by a large I)owldedr Io bro4adcast the giad tidiigs to a weary alld wai-tiig world a.. the extemipor aleols -In uwe.Cinig Was adjoulnIled aft:er the singing of the hatioial anthem of "Iw I-)rV I Am' (\aybe) luring the reIldition of which Mayor Coleman of Columbia, passed arlound his two gal Ilm silver en1caseld emeralh studded pockc-t flask. DO YOU RECOGNIZE The tall blonde with speotacles .ndi1l fainting spells? Flaiing Ymouth, or the Girl with the Cliecked I)resses ? 'IearleY, the il ' v leautiful, or His NlIthier's Jewiel? SPECTATORS LEARN FOOT (Continued from P)age Ole) were very inch surprised that the hawl did not split in half. lie .thell :.!eIl each team up ill on its own goal liine. ''lhe etire facult was thus placed on tile field. f(I it scei s that ':<he Inumber of players is limited oily by the nltimber of people who care to 7 t-the .blnNuillli||IIlII ~ LET $ MONDAY, TUESDAi "The Marri Starring Marie Prevost, Vidor, Adolphe Mer ICreighton Hale. THURSDAY -- FRII Gloria Sv "A Societn participate atnl have the moral cour. age and physical stamina to survive. Bellhop placed the bawl in the mid. (ie of the ficil, stood ol his head (which was the signal for the fray to Commi11ence), jumped up aind was over the wire fence in three seconds flat. The two teams charged toward tihe middle of the field with heads down. In the middle the opposing teams met inl a head onl collision, wi.th a noise like a clap of thunder. There was a mighty crack an( the wire fence on one side of the field went down, for "Old Drag" had gotten slightly off track aind had bu.:ted a fence post. This slight matter was adjisted, the undertaker called aad the victims carried off the field, al then the survivors of this charge re 4ired to their respective sides of the field. Again the on-rush, and again th.)s players not so hard of cranium were carried from the scene. This time, however, Professors Green and Smith started pulling hair. The referee iml mnediately inl-terferecd anid stopped thle wrangle. .\gain and yet againl thle two team:l. Charged, and at sunl-set "Yates am1 "Stnewll"were 41he only players lef in the fray. These two tried time aml agamI to cause some damage to eaci tither, buit all inl vainl. Th'lis was, per. haps, becauise each is ra4lher hard-hiead. ed as to thle lack of Value of thle sub.) ject taugh91t by) thle other. At las-t th gameit was called becauise of darkniess. Last nlight -the memlibers oTf thle fa1c ulty staged the biggest of thle mlui liquor par-ties for which they are famn ()us. "Pa'S" little toe was sprained bUt that was thle Only lasting injury received inl thle game. This miorning "Coach" issued a cal for canididlates for sprinig practice. I seem's -Ihat we are losing ouir collegt sPir-it, fori Tom Grahamn was thle ,nly candidate to report. L,et's thle rest of uis hard-heCads go ouit, CO-eds includl<A. -- --U. .c. We Wantcour streets patved. , V . . AND WEDNSDA Mon (i,te Bnle, eda topedce wansone. r\ai h and ytag' tetw rm