Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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SMILES "A maid of too plump silhouette Far preferred the style slim wil lowette, Though she fasted and laced, The slight waste at her waist Made her look a two-part pillow ette." Soph: "I tried to get the dean to let me off for a week to go home." Fresh: "How'd you come out ?" Soph : "On my head." Jack: (at formal): "Gee, I just discovered a patch in these trous ers." Jim: "Cheer up, just think how you'd feel if there were no patch there."-Octupus. "The Eskimo sleeps in his bear skin, And he sleeps very warm, I'm told; Last night I slept in my little bare skin, And I caught one awful cold." "Why do you sleep with a saddle in your bed ?" "So I can ride a nightmare." -Ex. I used to think I knew I knew But now I must confess, The more I know I know I know, I know I know the less. "Arms and the man I sing," said the hold co-ed drawing nearer. "Why is history so hard ?" "Well, we've had a stone age, a bronze age and now we're having a hard-boled age."-Siren. "What did vour son learn at college?" "Well, sir, he can ask for money in such a way it seems like an hon or to give it to him."-E.r. Professor: "What! Forgotter your pencil, Brown. What wouk you think of a soldier without any gun ?" Soph : I'd know he was an offi cer. 'I'hey told me that Nlarjorie wa an old fashioned girl; but I didn't believe them. I looked her over Nothing doing. Hecr shoes, hei hose, her dIress, her make-np, hei hair. I listened to her line. It had a day-after-tomorrow ring in it. But one (lay she sat (down,. and I saw the edlge of a p)etticoat. Yes, they wvere right. .\1arjorie was an old-ftasluone< girl .-Frivol. "WVhat was the great noise lasi night ?" "TIhat was me falling asleep."' Chemin: WVhat 's all the riot ini th< anatomy room of I ,eConte ? C. '.: ( )h. just the medical stu (dents rolling the bones.'' "1 wondler how many men wvil b)e made unhappy wvhen I marry ?" "TIhat dlepend(s, how many (do yot DARNING SOCKS Student life! College life! Ye Gods. Not only a faculty and treasurer's office to disrupt real college activities, but in the midst of it all comes a hole in your sock to be mended. We would rather tackle second math or French than try to close that miserable opening. There is nothing in the world that makes a man think more seriously of matrimony than having to darn his socks. A fter one wearing, most socks have a tendency to become holy. All socks can be classified under the genus, "Sifter," as they soon become nothing but holes. A man, for some reason, is ab solutely unable to darn a sock. In the first place, he can never find a needle. In the second, he can rarely ever find the thread-and when he does, it is invariably white, while his sock to be mended is black. When the thread is white the victim sometimes tries the scheme of soaking it in black ink, but a sickly brown is usually the result. After all the means necessary for darning have been collected, the real work begins. He takes the sock in his hand and pulls the hole to gether anad sews it up as he would sew up the mouth of a sack. Thn he gently pulls on the sock and finds the heel is somwhere near where the instep once was. Some times he darns the sock while it is on his foot and finds when he tries to take it off that it is sewed to his big toe. The socks that a man mend rub his feet in uch a way that his mind bristles and his tem per grows warm. A man always thinks of matrimony when he mends his socks, because then he realizes the necessity of it. Goat Grabbers The fellow who takes your last cigarette. Your partner who loses one of your pencils and then tries to bor row another. The roughnecks who steps on your pet corn and then tells you to get out of the way. The shark in the testing lab. whose mouth is more active than his hands. ''he ham who sings "Swannee" to the tune of "Old Black Joe." Your chum who takes out your best girl after von introduced her to him. TIhe foolish soph wvho tries to sell yo u a hoo Rk at do(ub le the p rice he p)aidl for it. TIhe p)rofessor w ho gives you an "I" on the mid-terms to speed you "J.ust think. 01(d top), in Japan you can get a wvife for fi fty cents." g(ood wife is wvorth it."-/.r. "I fear you can niever- make me wardlen. I lashhound: "E.ver eatd anyv tamne ralbb it ?" Wc rmI-dliiner: "'No, but I 've eaten d (omiestic's hair.'" Hecause a mni~i plays golf is it anyv sign that lhe is tee bonn11e(?" MCMASTER'S Let's t aquaintea C Use our store for your Let "hang out" i' Athletic J. S. Pinussohn TOM HOOK Goo ds Cigar Co. 1324 MaIn St Cigars, Soda, Pocket ? Clothe and furnish : COMBi A t . cBilliards *o CO LU M BlIA, S. C 1307-1309 Main Street Wingfield's Drug Store 1443 Main Street With acknowledgment: to K. C. B. It was time to wake up, all ri*ht MY BRAIN was busy. . / BUILDING AIR castles. ~kOR I wasn't sleepy. 'INALLY I dozed off. \ND PROMPTLY dreamed. THAT I was awake. BUT WOKE right up. AND FOUND I was asleep. THEN I got thinking. OF A wonderful formula. FOR MAKING cigarettes. I PLANNED it all out. SO MUCH Turkish tobacco. BLENDED JUST so witl Burley. AND OTHER Domestic leaf. AND I knew that blend. WOULD MAKE a hit. I COULD just see. CROWDS OF happy people THRONGING INTO stores. TO BUY that. cigarette. THEN LIGHTING up. SMACKING THEIR lips. AND SAYING, "Oh. Boy. IT'S THE exact copy. OF THAT 'Satisfy' blend." AND THEN I came to. Air- Tight Tins of 50 FRSR.~ Ie"aif A sk your dealer to show wlsr*t tgt(' gOIto you the new vacuum-WAEP yudrfol ''stgtiia a ttgve sealed tins of 50 Chester- 0yu~v'vls.'U(Qo h'rfa fields. A compact, con-WH .TA 'Stfy ln. gae.Yuisak orlisvr venient and absolutely Chtrfes.Adrmmr-yo AIR-TIGHT packing-SIPYCNTbcoid" c'tgt"aif"nyhres. the cigarettes keep fresh ANDdSADinotyself "THISomT&MEYyou'reJdreaming.