Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Wanted : More hearts to con quer. Have smashed all in the South already. Addhess the In. human Heartsinasher, 'or, Wm; Henry Thomas. He-Ohi Je t'ador.e She-Shut it yourself, your're nearer to it than I am. "The pink of perfectio is usually 'ouge." "Play it .on the organ," said1 the chief to the fireman with the hose as they fought the fire in the chapel. Two cats were about to have a duel. . "Let's have an understand ing before we begin," said .Qne. "About what?" asked the other. "Is it to be a duel to the: death, or shall we make it the best three lives out of five?". --Ex. Speaker: "Thank God, the country has gone dry. It will bring sunshine to many a S home." Skeptic: "Yes, and moon shine, too, brother."-Gar goyle. "And what might your work have been during the - late war? asked an old lady visit ing the Atlantic Fleet as it lay at anchor in the Hudson. - "Ma'am," replied the gob wearily, "I worked on a subma rine and every time they want ed to dive I'd run forward and tip 'er up."-Ex. He-My brother is just the opposite of me. I don't believe you've met him, have you? She-No, but I should like to.-Ex. Strength. It takes ten thousand roses All gorgeously in bloom To make for dainty noses A spoonful of perfume. But an onion, when it's feeling good And able to be out, Can tackle a whole neighbor hood And put 'em all to r'out. Haeti*crwt' ontae o o.Yur lad4 Hvelandca withui R. D. LAMRF She (to, fair friend)-.Iin not going wit;h Harry any more." Fair Friend-"Why not?" She-"He knows too many naughty songs." Fair Friend-"Did he sing them to you ?" She-"No, but he's . always whistling the tunes."-Ex. Poet: Can you lend me a five until pay day? - - Friend-: "Whatb do you mean by 'pay day?' " Poet: The day I pay you. -Life. "A masquerade is -the only kind of a ball where a homely girl has a chance." "Fifteen for the umpire," said the cheer-leader as the ambu lance rushed past. "My father invented spageh ette." "Where did he get the idea?" "From the noodle." Overheard in the Bathroom. Toothpaste to Razor Blade: You don't amount to much !" R. B. to T.: "Anyway, I've got the edge on you !" Ballflower (gallantly) "Have you this dance?" Wallflower (demurely) "Not yet." Ballflower (capriciously) "Then please hold this stogie while I dance."-Notre Dame Juggler. FAMOUS PASSES. ---- the buck. Compi imentary Chemistry. -------on. Forward ------ --ing of John Harleycorn. -- the potatoes. Four balls. They Shall not -. I will 7. 11. Mountain - -----ing show. Openers. "Take things as you tind~ them--but find them first." he wonderful records dem ~t as you ride in an Over-* nbia Company I RT, President ingfields. Drug Store 1443 Main Street THE ARADE BARBER SHOP LOAFA ROOM 3ARCADEBUILDING WANTED-our friends and the boys at the Univer sity to know that we have left the Palmetto shp and have purchased the Arcade shop, where we are prepared to give the very best service. .Give us a trial LEO and ALBERT MAYFIELD SHOP PROPRIETORS With acknowledgmcnts to K. C. B. Speea? Say, this uys name is Man- 'War! TALK ABOUT being. QUICK ON the trigger. ONE OF our salesmen. ONCE SAW a mnan. ROLL A cigarette. H AND STOP to light it. JUST THEN a piece. OF FINE French pastry. (YOU KNOW the kind. IN THE one-arm joints. THEY CALL 'eni "sinkers.") FELL ABOUT ten stories. FROM THE lunch-hox. OF SOME wealthy lIunber. AND BEANED Ihe man. OUR SALESMAN dashed up. AND SAID, ".\Iy dear sir. WHAT HAPPENED?" THE MAN rubbel his denne. AND BEGAN, "I was just. LIGHTING A eigarene." "GEE WHIZ'," our man said. "HERE--TRY uin. ---'{ - THEY'LL LET you know. C 01 YOU'RE SMOKING. AND THEY satist 3UT THEY'LL never. 'KNOCK YOU fiat." AND THE ma ginned.u 'I AND SAID, "'Son.fi'(H:'. i. 20 for 20 cents IF YOL'R ms.10(5- 1: in air-tight packages. HAVE YOURI spee~d. ~ i dt~ a.--f Also obtainable in round ,~.. tins of 50, vacuum,-sealed. T HEVY'l L SA TISFY, alil right.' P. "l )?'~ Lrcoorr & MYER 'T'oBAcco Co.