The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, March 17, 1921, Image 3

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ci SMILES. "Nigger, Ford dem bones," "Sam whut you does mean by 'Fo'd dem bones,"' "Shake, rattle, and roll." "Where are you going?" "Hygiene," "Pleasant dreams, old dear 1" Prof.-"I want .to see you get A on this exam, young man." Soph.-"So do I. Let's pull together." "Once there was a college girl who fell in love with a poor man-" "Oh, you know, I don't like fairy stories !" - Ex. Marie-"Well, dear, did you have a good month at the beach ?" Maud-"Splendid! I was giv en seven engagement rings, and only had to return four of them." -Boston Transcript. Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me what they raise in Mexi co?" Johnny: "I know what you want me to say, ma'm, but maw told me not to talk rough." -Legion Weekly. 1923-"Gee, I knocked that math cold." 1924 - (Much impressed) : "Yeah, whatya get?" 1923-"Zero."-Medley. Do you like indoor sports ?" "Yes, but father won't let them stay long." -Judge. "Man wants but little here be low," remarked the new arrival in Hades as he hurriedly re moved his overcoat.-Widow. It was easy to see that he was angry. "What is the matter, dear ?" she cooed. "Bill says he has kissed every girl in your house but one," he raved. "I wonder who she is," she answered.-Octopus. "My father weighed only four pounds when he was born." "Good heavens, did he live ?" Lampoon. Teacher: Rastus, what's an alibi ?" Rastus: Dat's proving dat you wuz at a prayer meeting, whar you wasn't in order to show dat you wuzn't at de crap game whar you wuz.-Exchange. A Chink by the name of Ching Ling, Fell off a street car, bing, bing, The conductor turned his head, to the passengers said, "The car's lost a washer, ding, ding."-Ex. Peevish Pete says that it pays to advertise, as is shown by the increase in chapel attendance since the "Office" has sent out a few circn1ars. The Law iSchool boasts the most appropriate location on the campus--corner "Green" and "Bull" Streets. It is rumored that the Hypa thian Literary Society debated the query, "Resolved, That it is better to kiss a bald-headed man than one with a mustache." In stances in point cited were one Mr. R. G. Bell and Washington A. Clark. We understand a unanimous decision disclosed the fact that it would be fatal to kiss either. A very, very timid freshman he was, still in the peachfuzz stage, who approached the dean's office with serious misgivings. His collar seemed too tight, his sleeves much too short. He blushed a dull red as Miss Knox spoke. "What can I do for you?" she asked. "Y-yes," he faltered, "Is the bean dizzy ?" "I've got a horse that eats money." "G'wan !" "I'll bet he's -got two bits in his mouth right now." "Have you heard the latest gossip ?" "No." "Then there must not be any." --Ex. "Like Caucer ?" "Naw. I don't like no guy that can't even spell." "The change will do me good," said the street car conductor as he pocketed five fares. Some folks noses are red until they blow them and then they are blew. She came to the doctor's office for a diagnosis. "Stick out your tongue," said he and she did, and he illustrated how he made his reputation when he said "Over worked."-Ex. "That's the guy I'm laying for," said the hen as the farmer crossed the yard.-Puppet. Rifle teams are being formed at most all colleges and universi ties where R. 0. T. C. units are established. This minor sport is becoming more popular and matches are being staged by various institutions. In a recent match between Georgetown Uni versity and Lehigh University the victory went to the former university by a margin of 35j points. Students of Georgia Tech have inaugurated a drive to raise $2,500 among students for the purpose of sending the Tech band to the Tech-Penn State football game to be played at~ the Polo Grounds, New York, in October. Personal subscriptions and script dances constitute the1 chief methods of securing the' funds desired. Wingfield's Drug Store 1443 Main Street LOAF AT THE ARCADE BARBER SHOP ROOM3 ARCADE*.BUILDING M NS WANTED-our friends and the boys at the Univer sity to know that we have left the Palmetto shp and have purchased the Arcade shop, where BOOK we are prepared to give the very best service. Gve us a trial SHOP LEO and ALBERT MAYFIELD - PROPRIETORS With acknowledgments to K. C. D. No wonder 4e fat mRu chuc]ded. I SWELLED with pride. THE FAT man next to me. WAS READING one. OF MY cigarette ads. AND I felt him chuckle. " " " NOW NO one had ever. " " " PRAISED THAT ad. " " " SO I had to ask. " " 0 IF HE liked It. " "e AND HE said, "Sure." AND LAUGHED some more. " . . THEN HE said. "LOOK HERE" and pointed. AND WHERE I'd written. "PURE TOBACCO." THE PRINTER had set. "PURE TABASCO." AND THAT'S why the mao. THOUGHT MY ad. WAS HOT stuff. BUT THEN he said. * . . "FORGET THE ads. I NEVER read 'em. " 0 0 BUT LEMME tell you. SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THEY OUGHT to say. ABOUT THAT cigarette. AND THAT Is this. 'hyStsy naCetr THEY SATISFY."sreoths--o'ifnitn AND DARNED If!I don't think,. h iaete vr ie HE REALLY believed. etctbcos odrul by aeoll miatuo~poof H E WAS giving me. yo'linnthgeseik AIR -TIGH T tina of 50. SOMETHING NEWI b oid 4peteriei4.dnt e 'Te 0aif"i hse