Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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AS PATTFRINGS OF A SPOOF. (By TapI) : Oh, tussig, where is thy kick? The paths of the forest lead but to the still. JFull many a quart of moonshine serene The dark, unfathomed depths of forest bear. Full nany a quart. of Bottled in Bond, Finds its origin there. "A Song of the Future." Hail Carolina, happy land, Where there ain't no exams. to stand. The courses of Poolology, Crapology, Danceology, Bull ology and Cutology will be added to the curriculum in Jew vember. What's become of the old fashioned girl who used to help Maw wash the dishes? The proof of tussig is in the drinking. Anyone can cry when things go wrong, And life doesn't seem worth while; But don't be an "anyone," ole fellow, Be a MAN, stand up and Smile. This life's got enough sadness now, Without any more from you, But if you'll keep a-goin' and smilin' You'll get another to smilin', too. Have you ever noticed that some people have funny notions? Take for instance a Charlestonian. He would rath er be a cobblestone on King street than to be mayor of New York. It is said that clothes are get ting lower. Here's hoping this drop will not affect the dresses of the fairer sex. Not while they're rolling their own, any way. The mystery of the sand-' wich--Find the ham. The -Winchester Club will be formed after exams. Only "re peaters" wvill be eligible. Exams. are like a crap game. You may make a pass, and then again you may not. Speaking-.of sandwiches byis it that a man need not starve on the desert? For the sandwichis there. You tell 'em ole baseball bat, Give the bouquets to the liv ing and the knocki,g te *e dead. 'Tis said that the high death rate for Columbia was caused by the scarcity of angels up There. I wonder? TENDER HEART& You've ALL HEARD The EkPRESSION "TENDER As a WOMAN'S HEART." Now LISTEN To this TALE OF WOE And Choose RATHER A PIECE of NEW ENGLAND GRANITE. Al. THOUGHT He was In GOOD, But ENDED UP With a THUD, ALSO AS USUAL. Says he To me He says: "BEATRIX Was SUCH An INNOCENT LITTLE GIRL. She couldn't Have HURT A FLY Without CRYING. WISTFUL, DEMURE, And All that SORT OF THING. You KNOW! And One NIGHT She told me SHE LOVED ME. But OH ! How she LIED. OF COURSE, I BELIEVED her. But SINCE THEN She's gone To TWO FORMALS, FOUR DINNERS, FIVE CANOE RIDES, EIGHT CAMPUS STROLLS, And GOODNESS KNOWS How many SHOWS With that OTHER SAP! I GUESS When a GIRL Tells you She LOVES you It don't MEAN ANYTHING. WHAT ?" Al SURE SAID A TRUE word. And BESIDES He's LOSTI ALL his FAVTH In the TENDERNESS Of aWOMAN'S HEART. SOME felloro Never HAD 4N1. HAVE YOU? -Exange. PICKED UP AT RANDOM. Actual results never flatter the dreamer. Ambition leaps high and falls hard. A pickle, Geats, is only a soused-'cucumber. Magnanimity depends upoi who and to which. -Exchange. COLLEGE DIRECTORY. W. S. Currell, Ph. D., President. Senior Class. A. J. Beck, President. A. J. McDavid, Secretary. Junior Class. W. C. McCall, President. L. B. Cox, Secretary. Sophomore Class. J. R. Sullivan, President. W. J. Ready, Secretary. Law Association. J. F. Quinn, President. W. S. Houck, Secretary. Senior Law Class. J. T. Crouch, President. 0. C. Blackmon, Secretary. Junior Law Class. W. B. Bryson, President. Clariosophic Society. Henry Thomas, President. A. L. Wells, Secretary. Euphradian Society. L.. C. Johnson, President. W. K. Suggs, Secretary. Hypatian Society. Mary Graydon, President. Eleanor Ball, Secretary. Debating Cowncil. Dr. W. S. Currell, Chairman, W. 'Henry Thomas, Secretary. Athletic Association. Sol Metzger, Coach. J. P. Richards, President. Basketball Team. G. M. Vaughan, Captain. J. S. Meares, Manager. Gamecock. W. L. Refo, Editor. E. P. Gaines, Manager. Carolinian. Henry Thomas, Editor. H. M. Lightsey, Manager. Garnet and Black. Morris Marcus, Editor. H. M. Ligthsey, Manager. Co-ed Or,ganization. Shirley Black, President. Isabelle Legare, Secretary. Young Men's Christian Associa .tion. R. G. Bell, General Secretary, G. A. Gullick. Preaidaent LEVAN' 8OBER SHOP 604 L.9ps 4 Exchange Bank Building Special AtenItion to University'.. Students Special Service Hair-cut 35c. Come and Guaranteed Shave 20c. See Us LORICK & LOWRANCE The College Man's Store fi Pocket Knives, Razors, Razor Strops Shaving Brushes, Shaving Soaps ATHLETIC GOODS Footballs, Baseballs, Sport Sweaters and Robes Special Attention and Prices Given to University Men Burnett's Drug Store' One Block From University Campus Drugs, Drinks, Cigars, Stationery Candies and Toilet Articles. SPECIAL: Everett Waddy's Carolina Seal Stationery Phone 1261 909 Main St. CLOTHING FURNISHINGS Moe Finkelstein's YOUNG FELLOW SHOP f 1604 Main Street Columbia, S. C. Snappy Clothes for Stueents 10 per cent. Discount on all Merchaadie to Students Only HATS LUGGAGE "AS COPELAND GOES, SO GO'ES Ti4E FASHION" LEARN THE WAY Clothing, Hats, Mens' Furnishings Stylish, dependable clothing, nationally known. Exclusive agencies for well known hats, everything stylish and seasonable in mens' furnishings. Alo Clothes, Styleplus Clothes, Hirsh-Wickwire Clothes Stetson, Toimble, Connett and Borsallno Hats COPELAND COMPANY, Columbia, S.C. 1EB MAIN STREET PHONE 301 h ~ The 53Wigwam. Inc. 1248 Main Street Cigars, Soda, Magazines Pocket Billiards Agents for Johnsoih's Chocolates U?4 COLUMBIA, S. C.