Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Please Obey. Whenever you have a moment's rest, Whenever your work is done, For pity's sake just think of us, And write up some joke or pun. A paper like this is not a snap, As many seem to think, And writing copy for the press, Takes something more than ink. -Exchange. M. M. Johnson is Candidate for the Presidency. Headquarters to promote the can didacy of M. M. Johnson for the presidency have been opened and an active campaign will be carried on in favor of this distinguished citizen. The Independent Pessimists party, whose cause Mr. Johnson will up hold, is enthusiastic with the bright outlook and the leaders declare in no uncertain terms that their choice will be a "one best bet." Mr. John son has chosen as campaign man ager Mr. Whitner Cary. "I will be tile next president," said Mr. Johnson yesterday. "I am a very intellectual man and although I may appear to be a fool I am not, and I wish TirE GAMECOCK would correct this erroneous impression. The platform of the latest candidate will be: "The presidency, the presi dency, I want the presidency." A. M. M. Johnson League of Col lege Men has been organized and will distribute literature and in other ways aid the Pessimist. The slogan of the league will be: "We don't believe it." Officers have been elected as follows: President, M. A. Wright; vice-president, M. H. Hornick; secretary, Broadus Mitch ell; treasurer, "Punch" Ehrlich; attorneys, the Lancaster Brothers. The announcement of Mr. John son's entrance in the race came as a thunderbolt out of a clear sky. It followed T. R.'s assertion that lie would accept the Republican nomi nation if tendered it. Mr. Johnson says lie must save his party and enters from a spirit of duty to his country. "Terrible Blow to World of Law," or "A Tragedy of Real Life." 'Tis terrible to relate the downfall of a hard law student from A. John stone, Jr., to Pool-Shooting John stone of Topshe College. Who is there who wvould have believed it? Nevertheless it is true, and although the change camne quickly it was that much more of a surprise to his admnirers. A mian of good hab)its, of brilliant mind, of charming personality was lie, a man in whom the University was looking forward to the time when it could point wvith pride and say to the world : "Gaze on our handiw~ork." There was a time wvhen he wvould look sober as lie got a star instead of a dlouble, or when lhe received but one letter a dlay. But now this time has passedr an(l the only thing that brings sorrow to his face is when Scott beats him a game of pool. The men of the future should profit by his example. Will lie mend his evil ways? Jesse James Club Organized at Uni versity. Inspired by their readings of the daring feats of Western h;andits, R. Obediah Purdy and Lee Hesitate Thomas have organized a "Hold-up Club." They propose to commit their depredations on the innocent and timid denizens of the campus first and then, as their business and courage flourishes, to enlarge to more lucrative fields. The memlber ship fee is 23c. and the qualification is to have committed some heinous crime. At present only Chicken Wright, Titewad Mitchel and Senior Hanna are eligible, but prospects are good for others. This may 'account for the many black hand letters Marshal Dykes has .been receiving, so the campus may be prepared for some thrilling events. Alas! The Beautiful Sense of Sen timent. The last paragraph of a Fresh man's theme on "An Accident": "The boy was rowing across the river and the boat capsized with him. He could not swim and, as no one would come to his aid, lie sought repose beneath a watery grave." A Woman in the Case. When you see a bashful lover, Blushing crimson in the face Every time he takes his watch out, There's a woman in the case. -Exchange. Ancient Jokes. Above this stone The raven croaks; Beneath it lie Some ancient jokes; And by and by, Some wicked men Will dig them up, To crack again. --Tiger. Fresh. Garrick: "Tomorrowv is the first dlay of March, isn't it ?" IHouck : "No, this is heal) year and February has i-wenty-nine clays." Fresh. Gar-rick: "WVill February have thirty clays next leap year?" Professor Colcock : "Can you not draw the figure ?" Purdly (standing at blackboard): "No, I don't know howv." Professor Colcock: "Mr. Purcdy, let me tell you something. You wvrite dhowni the things you don't know how to do." Purdy: "Professor, I should rather write dlown the things I know howv to do." Garnet and Black Goes to Press March 10. The Garnet and Black goes to press on March ioth. It will be necessary, therefore, for all written material to be in the hands of the editor-in-chief by M rch 5th (Thursday). It is requested that if it is possible, everything submit ted be typewritten. All articles sub mitted must be read before the Annual staff, and it will be a great favor to the one who has to read them if they are typewritten. Student Volunteer Union to Gather at Due West. Beginning Friday night, the fourth annual conference of the South Carolina Student Volunteer Union for Foreign Missions will be in session at Due Vest. There will be delegations present from most of the colleges in the State and among the Carolina men who will attend are: A. D. Odom, H. L. Dickson, H. S. Welch, W. H. McMurray, G. W. Ward, S. P. Schneider and L. L. Riley. An excellent programme has been arranged for the confer ence, including such splakers and BOOKKEEPING -:- SHOW Learn Your Business Co Have the Satisfacti, Attende 25% Discount Allowed Unive Best Courses; ] Before Exams It's thie strenuous life and the midnight oil. Help the grind with a few Fatima Cigarettes. 20 for ,%fAeA,&, aeoaliam 15 cet gd-Ad I ol!!!ep leaders as J. Lovell Murray, for merly of India, and now educational secretary of the Student Volunteer Movement; Rev. R. G. Magill of Egypt, Rev. W. H. Hudson of China and Dr. E. C. Cronk of Co lumbia, secretary of the Lutheran Laymen's Missionary movement. The conference will be in session from Friday night through Sunday, the delegates returning home on Monday. This is the most impor tait gathering of the year of the Carolina colleges in the interest of missions, and marks the high tide of missionary enthusiasm among then. W. P. Mills, secretary of the University Y. M. C. A., spent the larger part of last week in visiting Furman, Clinton, Erskine, Clemson, Wofford and Converse in the inter ests of the conference. He reports something doing in all of these col leges in regard to missions, just as there is something doing now on every campus in basket ball or base ball. If Belle went to the dance would the under-take-her? ['HAND -:- TYPEWRITING urse at Our College, and )n of Knowing You i the Best esity Men. Call in to See Us 3est Reputation 4Olumbia, S. . olA LPp