Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE ROBBER. He was the boldest robber I ever did see, For he would steal in broad day light; He didn't have to sneak around, And wait for the cover of night. He walked right into one of the rooms, And walked right out with a vest; He thought to himself, "I'm mighty smart, Now I'll go and get the rest." He walked very swiftly across the campus, With his coat hugged up real tight; He walked right into Pinckney col lege, And hid himself from sight. The marshal was informed of the suspicious man, And was on the campus waiting; But the things that happened at just this time Are hardly worth relating. Mr. Dyches could find no fault with him, And told him he might go; The man was anxious to make his escape, But walked away very slow. But Porter wasn't satisfied, So lie ran and brought him back; And asked Marshal Dyches what he meant to do With that cock-eyed, hair-brained jack. But Marshal told the man to go, And never to be caught here again; For if ever lie was seen upon the campus, He would have him sent to the pen. But the man is run to earth at last, With the vest, a suit, and some shoes; There was great commotion upon the campus, When a student spread the news. Mr. Covington was suninioned to . police court, Lord! but lie was scared to death; The judge asked some pointed questions, And lie could hardly get his breath. "Mr. Judge, that man did steal my clothes, And then walked out on the street; I'll believe that thing as long as I live, For he has my shoes oni his feet." The judge told him to sign a bond For his appearance at court in May; Mr. Covington balked a little at this, Then signed it without further delay. The man is not convicted yet, But we're going to do our best; To have him sent to the pen for a while, If he stole my roommate's vest. J. L. Greene. M. M. Johnson Tells of Weather in North Dakota. The crowd gathered around the fire-place in the front reading room at Flinn Hall yesterday were dis cussing the cold weather of the week and telling stories of various rough weather they had experi enced. M. M. Johnson, well-known on the campus and one of those who are always occupying good space at Flinn Hall, told a very interesting and remarkable tale. "A friend of mine and myself," said Mr. Johnson, "were up in North Dakota. It was in July and the thermometer was 18 degrees below zero. We were out for a little exercise, taking a short trot of thirty miles in gym suits before breakfast to invigorate us for our day's work. We were using the track of the Grand Trunk Line rail way for a path. My friend began to perspire very freely about the fifteen-mile post, and the perspira tion began to freeze upon him. He soon became enveloped in a coating of ice, so that it was difficult for him to run. We stopped and I care fully removed the coat of ice. "About that time a freight trair. of 684 cars and one engine came rumbling by. I realized the tem perature was slightly chilly, but be lieve me, friends, when the steam came out the engine it froze before hitting the ground, forming' an ice walk for miles and miles. "I am dippy about running on ice, so seeing that my gym suit was on straight my friend and I proceeded to the next town." Prof. Snowden's Advice to a Sopho more. Sophomore Wright: "Professor, examinations begin next Monday day after tomorrow; would I be doing wrong to study on Sunday in this grand and awful time?" Prof. Snowden: "Mr. Wright, I cannot advise you in this matter, Do what your father and mother would have you do; do what your. conscience tells you is right. "And yet, I cannot, in fairness, but tell you what I told my dear mother wvhen we wvere dliscussing this problem, twenty or more years ago. (It's true I got my 'thunder' from H-ostetter's or some such al manac, but I thought it very smart and conclusive.) "Said T: 'Mother, if the Lord jus tified the man for pulling his ass out of the ditch on the Sabbath, how nmuchi more would he justify the ass for pulling himself out ?' " Seventy-one Sophomores have en thusiastically recommended Prof. Snowden for adjunct p)rofessor in the chair of Logic. j\9 BIRD Fresh. Williams is kept busy sup plying Sylvan Bros. and other prom inent jewelers the tinie. He has an "Ingersoll Yankee." ' Wanted-To know if Count Hemmingway ever got that pigeon cooked. Ask Fresh Horger about that cig arette he smoked Monday night in order to be "smart." Frowsv Bill and Mike Foster are the proud possessors of an air gun. Query: Which is to furnish the hot air? Johnson: "Goggans, how do vou feel after exams ?" Goggans: "Just like a hog on ice." W. H. Officer is on the campus again, to the great pleasure of his friends. BOOKKEEPING -:- SHOR Learn Your Business Cc Have the Satisfacti Attende 25% Discount Allowed Unive Best Courses; ] Wrtig o /e 15 cent $"O 0A'$$t SEED g Prof. Keith: "Mr. Horger,- how do you pronounce your name?" Horger: "Hurger." Prof. Keith: "Is it French?" Horger: "It used to be." The philosopher of Flinn Hall. M. M. Johnson, has opened up a detective agency. His first case was one given him by the Law Associa tion. His success is summed up in his report, to-wit: "The keg is now empty." Passailaigue: "Lady, I love you." She: "Then you may kiss me; nothing makes me sick." Dr. Smith: "Mr. Poole, who was Shakespeare?" Soph. Poole: "I think that he was the first balloonist to conceive the idea of flying." W. K. Mitchell is also out orf the infirmary. rHAND -:- TYPEWRITING urse at Our College, and on of Knowing You d the Best rsity Men. Call in to See Us Best Reputation oofumbia, S. C -8. . l