Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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The second annual baby show Was held the other night, And the babies, dear, were carefully judged By the light of the 'lectric light. The scene was on the campus, In front of the chapel door, And babies were here, and babies were there, And babies were there galore. Now there was Tootsey Ehrlich, The darling little thing, Who billed and cooed the whole night long, And was presented with a ring. Another charming little babe, One with beautiful eyes, Was dear and darling, Pete Bousha, Who copped the second prize. And cunning Geor-gie Finklea, Cried the live-long night, But just the same, he made a fuss, And got a prize, all right. Now among the bigger kids, The three-year-olds and up, None could rival the Woodrow lad, He won a silver cup. Sitting over in a corner, And almost out of sight, Was the cute and pretty Bull Dog Mace, Who tried to pick a fight. He stuck his little finger In Bobby Owens' eye, And kept on and wouldn't quit, Until he made him cry. Now this caused some confusion, Among the babies grand, And wails went up and wails went down Like Alexander's Rag Time Band. But now it all is over, The annual baby show, And tho' all swore they never would, Again next year, they'll go. -Straight Tip. H. Brinson, Now King of Tramps, Will Go Home by Freight. A. No. 1, the world-famous tramp), is in despondency. HeI has lost his championship belt as the greatest tramp of all time. But where A. No. I loses, the University of South Carolina gains. The king is dead, but long live the king. As A. No. I leaves the front of the stage no less a personage than H. Brinson walks up stage and takes his place. Mr. Brinison has been reading Jack London's great tramp stories and is now a contestant for the throne lately occup)ied by the greatest tramp. The news that H. B3rinson is now king was carefully kept in the background but leaked out when it was known a few days ago that H. Brinson would1 go home for the Christmas holidays on the blind baggage of a freight train, friendly or unfriendly train-it makes no difference to H. Brinson. Book on "The Right to Chew Chew ing Gum," by Crane Waring, Esq. The Honorable Crane Waring will shortly issue a volume of books on "The Right to Chew Chewing Gum." Mr. Waring is a fanatic on the subject and is Ardently in favor of allowing gum to be chewed any and everywhere. In speaking of the subject yester day he said in part: "If a man pays five coppers for a package of chewing gum it is his right to chew whenever he gets ready and as long as he wishes. The key-note of the constitution of the United States is freedom and I think that a man should be free to chew whenever he gets ready." Mr. Waring was asked a few questions, after which he said: "If chewing gum is not.to be chewed, I ask what is chewing gum good for? If it is wrong to chew chewing gum, then those that have chewed chew ing gum have committed a heinous offense and should not be allowed to chew chewing gum again. Also, if it is wrong, chewing chewing gum should not be allowed, but I con tend in my book on chewing gum, that chewing chewing gum is a per fectly legitimate process of chew ing." Spring Frog Will Be Hidden by the Hon. Geo. Norwood. An event of much interest to the students will be the gentlemen's rid ing race at the Fair Grounds Wed nesday next. Mr. G. A. Norwood will be one of the jockeys to ride in this race. It has been learned that the race is framed for him to win. No doubt lie will be an odds on favorite and all the collegians had better come early to get a good price. The killing should be some thing collossal for it is a sure thing. Couldn't lose unless his horse fell down. Ic will ride Spring Frog. J. J. R. A FRESHMAN'S "OOK. (The following was found on a sheet of paper while perusing through a freshman's book and was immediately snatched for THE GAMECOCK, with apologies to his girl): Dearest creature in whose orbs I see The love that shines for me. Thy form art as an angel fair And graceful as a Fay. And from thy tiny p)ink lips Now are falling, falling the drips Of Honey dew, sweet as can be. Whose strength wvouldl kill a bee And fill a coward's heart like wine With an ardor and a bravery fine. Fairest one, I dIream of thee, Christmas comes ere long And I will conic to thee, My heart, my life, my song. The Lyric-Centre of atraction. "A. R. H." Writes Regarding "Bob" Purdy and a Piece of Poetry. To the Editor of TiHE GAMECOCK: To my inferior mind there are two classes of assinine folks, "plumb crazy" and "just crazy." The debate which/at present is going on in my br4in-for I claim to have such-is, just in what class the illiterate Bob Purdy should be placed. Bobbie dubbed me in the last issue of The Rooster as "He of the vul ture look." Naturally I went to him for an explanation of the term. The reply-quite daptly spoken-was, "Look in the mirror, sonnie." I then told him to be cautious, as two could play at that game. He there upon immediately declared war. Now, kind reader, bear in mind the fact that all is fair in love and war-guess that makes Purdy fair, for he sure is in love-and don't be shocked at what I'm about to relate. To'ards the tiny hours of Mon day morning, December 18, I made my way to the stronghold of the Purdicians, which is situated on the lofty third floor of East Rutledge, about sixty feet-no the size of Iurdy's-east of Monty Carlo. Betaking myself to his private quarters-hoping to come in con tact with the muses that inspired his last poem-what should I behold but his secretary open! Oh! such luck I never expected; there, spread out, was the coveted article which he intended using against me in case I took advantage of the kind ness of "The Bird" in using its sheets to let him know the opinion that I had of him. On this paper was written a poei, by far exceeding the fondest hopes of either Shakespeare or Milton. It contained a lot of jumble-no, not jumble, but sweetsaying-as to how there were all sorts of preva lent rumors about me and as to how "The Bird" spoke of me and such stuff as that. At the end of each would-be witty saying he puts "Fresh Hornik." He concludes by saying, "Who will this make mad as hell? Fresh Hornik." Just to relieve him of having to go to the trouble of carrying it to one of the editors I have outlined it. Now, as to a little protest. Don't think for an instant that because my name is Bobbie that it had any in fluence upon naming the esteemed gentleman whom we are consider ing. A. R. H. TO FRESH HORNIK. Who has his life from rumors freed ? Fresh Hornik. Who looks like a worn-out hack steed? Fresh Hornik. Whose smile is like a ripple on a slimy 1)001? Fresh H-ornik. Whose eyes betray him for an in fernal fool? Fresh Hornik. Who does "The Bird" describe as a vulture? Fresh Hornik. Who shows not the least degree of culture P Fresh Hornik. Whose teeth are yellow and worn with age? Fresh Hornik. Who will this throw into the hell of a rage? Fresh Hornik. -Inside Dope. "WHEN." - With apologies to "Inside Dope" and no one else. When Rosenberg ceases to be a blunder, And Coggeshall's known as the chinless wonder, When Edwards, George, becomes a man, And Norwood's ponies don't "also ran," Then things will not seem the same, And the campus won't be worth a blame. When Chase learns to play football, And Mitchell, W., has less gall, When Hemingway and Stork reach the pole, And Douglas Featherstone quits stealing coal, Then no morals will be corrupt, And the dean will close his office up. When Woodrow fails to make a speech, And Spencer grows clear out of reach, When Cary deigns to wear a smile, Then Johnson's language won't be vile. But, 'tis feared, we'll take our pen, And write to say, "It might have been." -Straight Tip. Brother Woodrow Sells Peanuts, "Banans" and Other Fruits. Brother Woodrow is enlarging his operations. From a mere retail er in fruits, peanuts, can(lies, etc., he is now rapidly becoming a whole sale dealer. That lie is now estab lishing a chain of fruit stores and peanut stands is shown by his latest effort-that of going into business at No. 6 East Rutledge. Here all the dainties of the season in the way of peanuts can be found and some times "banans'' as well. The fail ure of the raisin crop has affected Brother Wood row mightily. There are no better peanuts than this mer chant prince offers, notwithstanding the fact that he sells his p)eanuts by the dozen. Do your Christmas tradling with him and help a worthy cause. A young lady from the College for Women remarked: "Gee, but I ate some fine plum pudding yester day." And then she continued: "Dick Sligh, don't you like plum puddCing ?" "No, nmam," he replied, "I never (ldid like nlums."