Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

EXTENSION COURSE AT TOPSHE. COLLEGE Prof. Uriah Brinson Speaks Wednes day Evening on "The Psychology of a Sport." Topshe college will offer an ex tension course. The first lecture will be given in the chapel on Wednes day night by Prof. Uriah Brinson on "The Psychology of a Sport." There will be eight lectures in all, some of the most notable figures of the present decade making addresses. It is expected that quite a crowd will turn out to hear Mr. Brinson. He is well known in these parts and in China as a sport of rare make-up and having studied the art from many standpoints is well fitted to enlighten the Topshe students. The course in full is as follows: November 29-"The Psychology of a Sport," by Prof. Uriah Brin son. December 6--"The Etymology of a Tight-wad," by the Hon. Peter Bousha Bouchier. December 13.-"The Whys and Wherefores of a Purple Collar," by Viscount Nat Kennedy. December 20--"How to be Beau tiful Like Myself," by the famous beauty specialist, Dr. Jonathan Shakspere Hoey of New York. January io-"The Art of Cap turing Hearts," by Brig-Gen. A. G. Merry-Widow Hart. January 17-"How to Run a Pressing Club," by Dr. Grady Gog gans. January 24.-"Don't Be Fat," by George Finklea. January 31-"Say Little and Do More," by The Hon. Grease Gray don. Football Game Scheduled for After Thanksgiving. The L. Heads, one of the campus football teams, will meet the Cig arette Fiends, otherwise known as town slobs, in a great gridiron bat tle soon after Thanksgiving. Manager Mull of the L. Heads is having his team worked out under direction of coaches Graydon and Brinson. Several members of the squad have been at the infirmary for several days getting in trim for the fight. Mr. Simkins, manager of the Fiends, is in Florence selling pic tures and could not be seen. How ever, Mr. Mullins thinks the Fiends will try to hold them to 50 touch downs. Pete Bouchier asks TIHE GAME COCK to announce that he has a new pea-green-brown vest. By request he will wear it to chapel next Mon day morning. Joe English no Longer Uses Butter oP His Hair. For several months it has been a noticeable fact that Joe English's grand old pompadour stands up rather raggedly upon the head. It has not the same glossy and well brushed look as of old. Joe, one of the heart-smashers and all-round-ladiesmen of the campus, formerly used an abundance of but ter on his hair to give it a glossy appearance and at the same time cause it to brush "most superbly." One dreary evening recently Joseph went out calling. "The night was dark and stormy," and wind blew at a terrific rate. Now, after Joseph had talked for about 15 or 20 minutes, telling love stories and talking as much "mush" as the average love-maker could in three hours, something began trick ling down his cheek. Joe felt it. He took out his handkerchief and began to mop, but as fast as he mopped more trickled down. The fire had melted the butter! Great Discovery. The students of the University were astounded at their ignorance in failing to discover at an earlier date the wonderful pro clivities of Mr. T. K. Vassey as an actor. Mr. Vassey appeared as Mr. Ty Cobb's right hand man in "The College Widow" at Colum bia theatre on November 14. His reception by the audience was marked by prolonged cheering, and throughout the entire performance he held the audience spellbound with his grace and ease of manner. Mr. Vassey's career promises to be second to none, and with the pos sible criticism among the audience as to whether lie was attired to im personate a football player or an Apache-on the warpath, his debut is the sole topic in theatrical circles. Always a good show at the Lyric. Fresh Hornick at the State fair grounds, talking to a friend from Charleston, just before Clemson Carolina game. Friend from Charleston: "Hor nick, how's the game going?" Hornick: "Man, we sho' to win." Friend from Charleston: "What makes you thiink- so?" H-ornick: "Why, Carolina's got a coach and a Driver, while Clemson just has a coach." If a lady can't be lynched will a coat hanger. What dlid Della-wear. ,If the fellows won't holler would a rocking cheer ? If a lady were to faint would a fly catcher ? If the Picayune smelter, would the Los Angeles Examiner? A smile is big capital, It is commercial asset, It is contaious kg BIRD Freshman, telephoning/ home: "Father, I have taken appendicitis." Father: "My son, why did you not stick, as I told you, to the straight English course?"-(Ex.) A financial genius is a man who can spill a cup of coffee on another man's light trousers and then make the fellow pay for the cup of cof fee.-"Dick." Mrs. vonSwamp: "William, dear, as you have another chill coming on, will you kindly hold the baby's rat tle in your hand ? It amuses the sweet precious so much." X.: Do you know Emma? Y.: Emma who? X.: Dilenima.-(H. S. R.) Always a good show at the Lyric. Prof. Wardlaw (in Pe&d. class, giving out numbers for mental addi tion): "Now, Mr. Crowther, how much did you get?" "Madam" Crowther: "I got left." If a freshman is slick, why should "Grease" grease him? Messrs. Richy, L. R., Whitner, Mullins, Moore and "Frowsy Bill" are at the infirmary for a short while, hoping to get something to eat. For identification of one "John Smith" see Ned PasAailaigue. Kennedy: "Get up, Wrightson, 'The early bird gets the worm.'" Wrightson: "Shut up; if the worm hadn't been so early the bird wouldn't have gotten him." Fresh Beaty says that the theatre is demoralizing, especially if you sit in the roost. Bill Evans (on seeing the milk wagon): "I didn't know they col lected mail on the campus on Sun day." X.: Do you know Carrie? Y.: Carrie who? X.: Caramel.-(J.) The Yellow number was well-red. X.: Do you know Polly ? Y.: Polly who? X.: Politics.-(Author refuses to own up.) Prof. Rucker: "Mr. Howell, what is law ?" Mr. IHowell: "It's what Sherman said war was." Fresh Levy (to Miss Rion in library) : "I would like to get Dix on's 'Pig Wig Ppen..* SEED "Mr. Bill Graydon, what is an incorporial heridotiment ?" Frowsy Bill: "He's not here to day, professor." "Mr. Finnery, why are you turn ing over a new leaf ?" Mr. F.: "To see what's on the other side." If the mess costs 12 dollars a month, could the bulletin board? "Do you know Milly ?" "Milly who?" "d(Millinery." Pat was standing beside Mike when the duck fell shot from the "Mike, why did you waste that shot? The fall would have killed it." Pat, returned from the swamps after desperate hunting clays: "I don't like duck shooting; every time I'd get a bead on one duck another would get in the way." On the occasion of Mike Murphy's being killed in a mine, Pat Flannigan was sent to break the news gently to Mrs. Murphy. Pat went to the house of the dead man's wife, knocked, and when the lady opened, asked: "Are you the widow Murphy ?" "Why, no," answered the woman. "You're a liar," said Pat, "Your husband got killed half an hour ago."-Exchange. "The monster's salient points to sum, His heavy breath was portery; His glowing nose suggested rum; His eyes were gin and watery. "His dress was torn-for dregs of ale And slops of gin had rusted it; His pimpled face was wan and pale, Where filth had not encrusted it." MOOT COURT , At the weekly session of Moot Court, held on Wednesday night, the case of the Presslys, father and son, was taken up, resulting in a mistrial. The jury was as followvs: Alexander, Guy, Howell, Graydlon, Amick and Mullen. His Honor, Judge Jennings, presided. Appearing for the State were Cappelmann and. Foster; for the defense, Monash and Houck. The judge's charge wvas able and well delivered, and each of the attorneys made a hard fight, as is shown by the result of the trial. The next meeting of Moot Court will be on Wednesday in lawv room of Leg-nre ollege