Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE SERJ ECHOES M'AR-VE-LOUS1 Dr. Colcock (in astronomy)-'.'Mr. Sheppard, why are the days longer in summer than in winter?" "Hon." Sheppard (learnedly) "Why, in summer heat expands the air, while in winter the cold contracts it." WHAT COMPOUND DID HE FORM? Executive Committeeman Thomas (rendering his report)-"Mr. Presi dent, I wish to say that I went to Newberry and precipitated in all the meetings-" HOW LONG DO THEY WAIT? Dr. Moore (in psychology)-"Those tawny, sable sons of Central Africa, who lie beneath the cocoanut trees and wait for the bananas to fall upon them." WILL IE TAKE IT LONG? It is rumored that the Honorable John Shakesbeer Hocy has been al lowed to take the second term of first math. on prohibition. UNANSWERABLE. Which is huger, Fresh. Metz's feet or Fresh. Mace's voice? PUGILISTICALLY INCLINED. It is rumored that a pair of our fair Co-ed. queens are taking boxing les sons from Mac. Been There. Catching low? No, -, go! King's high, then. Shoot l Toss the game Mud's your name Ace and ten to boot. Skin the pack! Where's that jack? Hasn't turned up yet ? Last round, Kid Four was bid; Damn his face, I'm set. Stealing! "The other night it was cold as hell and lark as pitch, and Crum Murray was coming down the campus shiver ing till his hair waved. The Crum didn't have no coal and he was mosey ing around Doctor Burney's iron fence looking for something to burn. There was a pile of something black on the sidewvalk, and he put a big lump under each arm anid ambled. I was sitting in the room when he came in," finished Chollie Colcock, pulling his skull cap straight, "and he wvanted to bat me through the chimney place wvhen I laughed at the cobblestones he was 'carrying. It~ 'might not be funny or pointed or humorous, but the look on his face was worth a pass on a full flush hand." Remember the basketball game next Thursday;v:30oP. M. rOUS SIDE The Captains Interviewed. THE SENIOR CLASS TEAM. Captain Rembert is highly elated over the prospects of his team. When interviewed this morning, he stated that the aggregation is especially strong on first base, that the initial sacker. was a star of the first brilliance and is expected to win the game by his stellar work. He admits that the sec ond sacker is rather weak, but hopes that the rest of the team will over balance this defect. Havird will be compelled to bat with one hand so that too many balls will not be lost. Captain Rembert regards the cham pionship as cinched for the Seniors and has sent propositions to arbitrate to the other captains. THE JUNIOR TEAM wINNERS. Captain DesPortes, of Winnsboro, says that the Juniors have a look-in on the championship like five aces and a razor on a boosted pot. He says that the other collections of would-be's have as much of a show as a bunch of missionaries in the Fijis. Arrange ments have been completed for a ban quet in the Topshe Pool Parlors on the night of the championship game. Captain DesPortes has made an ur gent call for a water boy and sponsors. He says the Junior maidens are an unldyal set and besides they are all getting old and wrinkled. The cap tain regards the pitching staff, con sisting of himself and DesPortes, as particularly strong. He doubts wheth er the catcher will be able to hold the fierce shoots, but will try to ring in the old rule that a batter who strikes out is out. SOPIIS' UNKNOWN QUANTITY. Captain Billy Perrin unhooked his arm from around Red Ligon's neck long enough to wave it towards the ball field. "It will be the scene of many a glorious contest, but none so truly thrilling as those in which the Sophs. will mash the Seniors, Juniors and Freshs. Nothin' t' saiy abeout de matter. Oi havint decoided h-h-hwat position Oi'll plaiy; but Oi've ordered me a six-foot baat." Captain Perrin smuiled that broad, world-including smile and wound his arm three times around the Ligon neck. He refused to say anything further in particular but hinted that he had hired several Nationals and would spring a few dlark horses later. FRESH MEN INvINCIBILE. Captain Gresham, of Buffalo Mills, spoke in strong terms about his hope fuils. He says that he is endeavoring to obtain Mr. Alfred Covar, of Edge field, to umpire the game. MacMillan, lie says, will probably play the whole game, and Fresh. Harper can't be touched with a magnet on the end of a two-yard pole. "The Freshmen are invincible and if I only get to the bat five times, I'll guarantee the score will be at least five to nothing." It seems that Fresh. Hart is the best all-round player in the class, but Captain Gres ham has ruled him out so a to makre the -ames more 'even. Red Russell has been disqualified.: because he covers the plate every time he goes to the bat and the umpire can't call balls and strikes on him. "The Freshmen may not win the championship, but it they don't, I'll read the Latin on the monument," he concluded. On thAdvantage of Towering Above All. (By "Rubrant" Russell.) I have not always been so tall, and wihy I am so tall I do not know. But I do know that I am both glad and sorry of it. Now, last fall rumors of a football game on Davis field permeated the at mosphere, even in the altitude of my auditory organs. I was slightly inter ested, although my Sunday school teacher had warned me against this barbarous sport. So one (lay I sat down on the lowest step of DeSaussure College in order that I could hear Mace when he told me on what day the game was to be played. Finally, after close listening, I distinguished the word "Tuesday." Tuesday came, as all days have a way of doing. In the afternoon I wandered over to Davis field to see the game. Some little fellow met me at the gate and said something about "ticket." 0 I was going on in, but he shut the gate. Well, I didn't know ex actly what to do, so I rambled around next to Science Hall and looked over the fence. The boys were all tied up in a knot, but finally one by one they untied themselves and got down and looked at each other. Then they went together and tied up into another knot. Suddenly, one fellow,-I think his name was Dargan, got the ball and made down the field with it. It was exciting with all the people yelling. Like a fool, I started to yell too, but I jam med my chin against a nail on top of the fence. How it hurt I I had enough. Football is a cruel sport. Oh, yes. there was a girl. I met her last Fair Week. We mutually caught each other trying to look over the top of the skyscraper at the flag pole on the State House dome. On my part, it was love at first sight. I walked around to the other side of the skyscraper where she stood demurely silent. I extendedi my hand. She took it and together we strolled down Main street. Just to show her that I was as tall as she was and at the same time to amuse her, I shifted S. B. McMaster's big sign from the 4op of his store to the top of the Y. M. C. A. She laughed a charming, rippling, little laugh, which sounded like the murmur of Niagara Falls. I could whisper sweet nothings in her ear without so much as bending my head. Together, oblivious of all the world, we might have strolled down the wind ing paths of life, as that dlay we strolled down Main street, but, alack V my new-found lady-love was run over and killed by a bicycle. Yet, who will be bold enough to say that there are no advantages in being tall enough to glance over the skyscraper? Had I not been able to do so, I would never have met my first love. (Next week The Gamecock will be favored by another pen effusion from Mr. "Rubrant" Russell on "The Dis advantages of Towering Above All.'? The-Heat of Haif For weeks. the many",friends of the Merry Widow have noticed that all her thoughts and words have been clothed with a tender melancholy, This is very unliatural for the widow, for she is of a bright and happy dis position. On investigation it has been found that every night the Merry Widow goes to the monument in the middle of the campus and stands there for hours, seemingly writing something. But still it cannot be charged that she painted the monument, for she is too modest for that. But she writes there something. . After much study of the writing, the author has deciphered the following, giving a pictur-7of Hart's heart, the explanation of his tender melancholy: "Dearest Maud: After finishing, or being finished by examinations, I am, thinking of those things I love more than learning, and all the wisdom of the wise ones. I am thinking this morning of you, and, in this contem plation, I find encouragement, and am inspired to hope and strive for better and higher things for myself and those I love. "I have finished my examinations successfully, and attribute it all to you. The memory of you and your loveli ness was to me a star, guiding through the bewildering mazes of mathemat ics, physics and astronomy. In the science of mathematics I learned no fact more true than the truth of the beauty of your soul: in physics I learned of the existence of no power stronger than the beneficent influence of your presence; in astronomy I learned of no orbs more wonderful than those divine orbs of thine, those eyes that laugh, love and speak, and make me nobler and better, as the days go by. "Death is a blessing to many, en cumbered with the cares and trials of the world. To many of the poets of the past, tired with the 'fever of the world,' it has come as a gentle falling asleep after a day of 'toil and trou ble;' but to me, to live is to love, to live for you, to love you. If all the peo ple of the world were as beautiful and lovely of soul as you, I would love to live as if I were immortal, for then this would be a heaven peopled with angels. _Ad;-,methink$ qhat among these you wot.ld be the queen. "This, Love, is a world of beauty. We see around us the waving forests of green foliage growing beneath the life-giving rays of the sin; we have everywhere s p a r k li nig .w a:t e r s, ever-flowing, beautiful, lever-.rippling to the song of time, unsung by voice or harp of many. We have the starry firmament, lit by the light of other worlds, a beauty which transfigures you and me; I feel that poor mortals are not worthy of this beauity until I think of you. Then are all things lost in the memory of your character, as innocent as the prayer of childhood, of your eyes, beautiful as hope; your lips, more lovely than rubies; your love, more to be desired than life.. Then it is that my heart leaps uip, as when a beautiful rainbow is seen in the sky. Trheni my heart, dumb thing, feels that the word is not worthy of you, and me, more unworthy, loves you with a love that is more than love, with a love more deep than. tenar narid~v- wil"