The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, October 15, 1884, Image 1
WINNSBOBO, S. C., WEDN^DAY, OCTOBER 15, 1884.
1
A Bar Harbor IdyL
They met at breakfast?she as street
As newly opened racrning-glory;
And be a "little cod" complete?
A mutual "hit!"?the old, old story!
His eager gaze, his candid stare,
- Said more than Harvard lips could utter;
She read bis thoughts, and, blushing rare,
Ingenuously passed the butter.
'Xfiey took a pull up Frenchman's Bay,
He at tbe oars, she sternly steering;
* Had Yale but seen his stroke that dsyl
Her face at each recover ncaring,
SaHl A fc^-f-forbidding air it took. j
Mar But he, the mute rebuke defying-,
SBl. Cried "Pardon! but I always look
HHh ^mceere I see Harvard's color Syinff."
drove, of course, to' Schooner Head.
BBWxh. boys are bold, but maids are mock- !
????iyithManha.ttan coyness said:
aMHmSw.look in knickerbcckersl"
fumbled;
^ ^iSSptonched his arm -with . ?
Snd-vrell?iv fact, he ?im5^tumble<L
When eve had all her burners lit;
Down the plank walk they. pron. ?naded;
Tbe bats across their path wouldiat, .
But bats that night he disregard- .<L
The moon o'er Ironbound shone clear;
From boat to boat sweet notes were call;ur;
Yet scarce a-whisper reached her aar
Sare "Letts go back; the dew is falling."
Nezt-mOKjia^^aw them at the pier.?
The'wary^ctltb. tbe pretty senemcr;
Her sapphire eyes wrung out a tear
5~- As be. reluctant, toot the steamer:
The plank is drawn, the paddles whirl.
He turned, no longer to distress her.?
Weill hesecure<l.an .Annex girl,:
And she begrnied a Yale professor.
- ?Edward A- Church, in the Century.
A NEGLECTED DAUGHTER.
"No, girl, I have no money to throw
away on fallals. I have not the parse
of a Fortunatus, as you must believe
by the way you constantly pester me J
for money. In your dead mother's day
girls didn't rig" themselves out for the
DurDOse of 'attracting attention. A'
plain calico frock and a simple straw
bonnet are all that a female requires
_ for Sunday wear."
And the speaker, a small, stern visaged
man, closed his grim month, and
relapsed into silence, watching his tall,
handsome daughter narrowly out of his j
keen black eyes.
"Father, yoa are terribly unjust to
me, your daughter. You are one of the
richest men in Meadowland, and it is
your duty to see that your daughter is
respectably if not handsomely dressed.
My apparel is neither decent for church
wear nor the street Repeatedlv vou
have turned a deaf ear to "my entreaties
^ do something wherebv' I could
pure/ ase my own clothing,"for I am
ashamed of "being pointed at and stigmatised
as the'Miser's Daughter,'and
Kmade the butt of ridicule on account of
my scanty, old fashioned garments. If
my mother had lived it would have
been otherwise!"
The-tears gathered in her grey eyes
ig. as she thought of that gentle woman
jjf|; who lay at rest in the cemetery on the
EL; hill, and she began to pace the floor in
a quick nervous"way.
p| it irritated her" father, this rapid
I talking to and fro, and he cried out
"Sit down, Huldah! You act like a
child instead of a young woman almost
1 out of her teens. That outburst of
ftp . v yours was especially childish, and provocative
of no good whatever. You
mti-. dress:well enough and.Ijg^P^gt have
>^ggBfc^g(a*^raiSfess ultra-fash- ,
^^Rrablewomen who frequent the vil- i
lage during the summer season. And ;
as for seeking a situation," he continued
-with, a thump upon the table,
w M "don't ever let rue hear you mention it
again. Hiram Lester is too proud to
| have his daughter to work for a liveli1
hood."
Iia AWAiVif +/v lia fAA nrrnsH tn
St XUCU VUgiiW I.V wv wvv ^*vv?M.
"see his daughter go dressed worse than
I any scullion," was the retort that rush- .
jf ed to Huldah's lips.
As he left the room she gave vent to
i a shower of tears.
"It is too bad," she sobbed; "nay it :
is shameful to treat me thus. If he ;
were pocar I - should not mind it; but
he i3 so rich that he counts his money |
by the thousands. He gave me a good ,
education,, because a Lester must not
-besiicwe<KQ_ grow up ignorant, but :
he is not willing that I should apply i*
to any practical use. I could teach i* ;
<-<- ?- -R- A ? r
HO WUU1U l&U VLZV Ainu, u* ov^uwi) Vi
might give music lessons, provided I
could find the scholars. Bnt no, I must
stay at home and keep his accounts,
and cook his victuals, and receive?
what do I receive?1', with an abrupt
i pause, 'for my labor? Ha, ha," with
P a bitter laugh, "the food I eat and the
clothes a gypsy would sneer at I shall
bear it no longer; a reformation takes
place, and at once. Father's pride
shall be humbled, and I shall have a
becoming costume without its costing
Tivro a. ffli-rthrncr 11
gs Tyin<* on her old sun hat, she went
down tne street in the direction of the
only grand mansion in the village. It
|f belonged to a bachelor, Robert Ranger,
who became possessed of it by the
death of an uncle."
As yet he had not seen the property,
but'was expected daily from California
where he had been sojourning for tie
past year.
With firnt steps Holdah pressed oni
. ward t01 she reached the places a stately
pile of grey granite, over which the
, Virginia creeper clambered, the welloTormds
dotted with shrubberv.
?he went directly to see the housekeeper,
with whom she was well acI
quainted.
* Mrs. Madison heard her proposition
r /with surprise.
f "It is astounding;" she exclaimed,
with uplifted hands. "The daughter
of the second richest man in the place
in quest of work!"
4OTes; ril admit that," smiled the
applicant; "but nevertheless it- is true.
I want clothes to make myself presentable
at church and in the street, Fa
tier, who has no intention of being miserly,
but who has no knowledge of a
\ woman's wants,-will not get them for
> me; so I must earn them myself. You
want a girl to help clean house and get
I it in readiness for Mr.Ranger'saafivaL
I solicit the situation." ./
^ . And when Huldah bade t&e -aonseBfe
keeper good-by, ;iiJ?is-wih4he understanding
that 'she should begin her
fpRr work-in the morning.
44 And very good it is :or you, my
T dear," said the kind old lady, 4tthat
your father is to be absent on business
for ten or twelve days; he would raise
such "a fuss that you*would be glad to j
relinquish all hop?s of earning what j
you deem absolutely indispensible to ;
your happiness. Good-by; and don't !
nurry to get here in the morning," she !
shouted, as the girl went down the ;
B walk.with buoyant steps.
That night Mr. Lester went away on j
ff business of importance, and the next !
: - TT_>J_V 3 x. TJ. I
[morning xxuxuaxi preswntsa aerseii as
:f the Banger mansion to. make herself
generally useruL
As the days .went by,. Mrs. Madison
found her a perfect treasure. She was
never cross Like some of the girls in her
employ, and her duties were cheerfully
performed,
It was a warm, radiant morning in
7 spring. : Flowers were blooming, birds
were warbling, and all nature wore a
jubilant look, and as Euldah, scrubbing
brush in one hand and a pail of
* "
water in the other, entered the broad,
cool hall to give it a cleaning, she cast
her eyes longingly on the belt of woods
lying beyond, and wished she were free
to wend her way thither. But, strangling
all such desire, she set down her
pail and energetically commenced her
work.
With her sleeves rolled up above her
elbows, displaying to advantage her
round white arms, and singing a loveditty
at the top of her voice, she scrubVin/?
oxttqtt* o n1 r> tha
doorway, a gleam of mischief risible in
his dreamy brown eyes, stood a wellmade
muscular young man of eightand-twenty,
in Panama hat and linen
duster, who had just come up the terraced
walk, and paused to drink in the
music of the girl's voice. .
Who was she2 that'vras good"
'virowas this girl with the {
lambent grey eyes, the glossy dark
hair that strayed over her sunburnt
face, and the dimpled arms so white
and shapely, that wielded ? good
TTooBancI i<- nnt Vin ? cf?T*ri Vihin or
brush?
He stepped forward to see if he was
not mistaken , aud at that instant Huldah
became aware of his proximity.
The blood rushed to her face; she
dropped her brush but was eminently
self-possessed as she raised herselifrom
her knees and said:
"This is Mr. Ranker, I believe? Walk
into the sitting room here, at your
right, and I will call the housekeeper.
You were not expected to-day and
house-cleaning is going on.'1
He started to obey, but, alas! the j
boards were wet and slippery, and he j
had just taken two steps* when, to his j
mortification and Huldah's consterna- j
t:on, his heels went up and he went I
down, and there he ley, with his ele- |
gant figure stretched at full-length on I
tiie noor.
H aid ah beat solicitously above him.
"I?I am afraid you are hurt, sir,"
she said. . "Nay,
not hurt," with a strong inclination
to laugh, "but," pleadingly lifting
those dreamy brown eyes to her
attractive face, "how am I to get up? J
Can't you?won't you just reach me
your hand?"
And Huldah, in good faith, believing
it was necessary to render him assistance,
held out her small wet hand, 3nd j
clasping it more firmly than there was '
any neod, the tall, handsome fellow !
was instantly on, his feet
"Many thanks," he said warmly, ;
watching the color come in her cheeks, j
"That was an awkward fall Will von |
tell me to whom I am indebted for once j
more standing on my feet?"
"To a girl your housekeeper hired to
help clean house," she replied demurely,
as she ran away to tell Mrs. Madison
of his presence, and beg that she
would not reveal her name.
All of Robert Ranger's carefully arranged
queries concerning "that handsome
girl with the white arms and the
melodious voice" failed to elicit the re
quired information.
As Huldah went to her home that
night, a telegram having come announcing
her father's return on the
morrow, Robert Ranger could gain no
trace of her whereabouts.
But he did.not inteniLthat >.ihfc. -cca2?-t
sjirl in whom he was "ever interested j
r.k/vn'M c7?t^ f-hnc cnoHpnlv Ollt of his life. 1
JUVUJ.U
Even though, he had found her doing j
work of the" most menial description,
he had recognized in her a perfect lady.
But for a time all quest was unavailing,
and he had*given up all hope of
ever seeing her again, wiien one morning
upon ringing'the doorbell at the
residence of Mr. Lester, with whom he
had business to transact, she answered
the summons.
. Very ladylike and more than pretty
she looked, attired in a dress of soft
gray fabric, shot through with roseate
tints, purchased with the very money
she had earned of his housekeeper, her
grev eyes shining, and her dark hair
simply caught up in a knot at the back
of her head.
He held out his hand. The dreamy
look left his brown eyes.
<- "I have found you at last," he cried
iovfullv. "What made you disappear
so" mysteriously?"
"I bad finished iny work at your
place," she said roguishly, letting her
long lashes droop over her eyes to hide
their mischievous sparkle. "1 am now
in the employ of Mr. Lester. He was
expecting you on business to-day.
Walk in, sir;" and she ushered him into
a small room where Mr. Lester sat
examining a yellowish document which
he held in his hand.
"Father, here is Mr. Ranger," she
said. And then, as the gentleman's
eyes opened wide with surprise, she
left the room. * j
Ere Ion or Robert called again at the |
cottage. "Indeed, as the days sped by, j
he seemed to have a great deal of business
there, judging from the frequency
and length of his calls.
The old man, however, said that
"his business did not amount to much;
he only wanted Huldah for his wife,
or./-} ?>? cfm wfti: ivillino' anr? Via waft I
rich, he was entirely welcome to her." j
And so the neglected daughter became
the cherished wife of the rich and
handsome Mr. Ranger.
Gas and Electricity. The
introduction of the electric light
has not hurt the gas interest; rather it
has led to an increased consumption of
gas. It has certainly created a demand
for more light, and people whose eyes
have been dazzled by the glare of the
electric iigiit use gas more ireeiy ana j
extravagantly than they eTer did before, j
There was never more gas consumed j
in New York than now, and the same
may be said of all other large cities in
the country. This, in a measure, may
be ascribed to the increasing demand
for gas as a source of heat as well as
light. You can. cook better with gas
than with coal and with less trouble
and discomfort Then the gas-engine
is being introduced extensively. Manufacturers
are months behind with their
orders and running to their full ca- |
* , J 1 _
pacity to supply tne aemana. reopie
do not know how much light can be
got out of gas. Electric discoveries
have stimulated inventions in gas burners,
and there is now at the Manhattan
gas-works, in this city, a Siemens
burner that gives a light equal to 1,000
candles, ana there are others which j
are of 500-candle power. I see no !
. *.1 .'U.*. ? i.; - I
reason wny ine liiuminaiiiig power ui i
gas may not be indefinitely increased.
These burners have been recently introduced,
and the demand for them is
so great in Europe that we can get none j
here. By their nse gas is chenpcr than j
electricty of the same illuminating !
power. The electric light has not had :
things all its own way, by any means.
It has been repeatedly-beaten by gas on
the continent and in England, mainly
on acconnt of its expensireness, and
many electric light companies have 1
collapsed there.?William Farmer, Gas
Engineer.
Spain is gaining. During 1SSS the
births in that country numbered 453,000
and the deaths 418,000.
C '
^ -'-y
I
A ZVIo'lcst Bride.
i Perhaps the most amusing spectacle
I at a Niagara, Falls Hot<M may be
| witnessed in the corridors from 9:30 to
' 11:30 of any evening during the
! "bridal" season. Go early, so as to be
1 in time; asccnd to about the third
; floor, and take up your post of observa!
tion in some convenient embrasure?
I say in the window at the end of the hall.
! rPU r? 1 ? o > /-11 t" n oTTA of />1
-Lut i:a:x liuui. >? AXi xxuxuxv uarv> oixuwk.
when door after door will open in
quick succession, and groom after
groom will emerge sneakingly from its
closing portal, give a quick glance over
bis shoulder, und then walk leisurely
up and down with a don't-care-a damna*iye
expression on his' face that is in.
describably ludicrous. One moment
"liS-^inipers shamefully at his fellow
sufferers who pass him in their march,
and toother glares savage'v as if spoiir
.c _L . o?k _n'.uX
lUg TfHTT *i11' uii lj'.c Li luc is
looking arjxiouslylvEiJh<iUltcly"uatil o
half hour has passed slowly away,
when he steals hastily backto'nis door,
knocks and en!its, where necessity
compels us to leave hi:n.
THE EXPLANATION IS SDIPLE.
He has been seal cut while theyoung
and inexperienced madam disrobes
herself. He is ashamed to go down
stairs, so he watches out the vigil in
the hall.
On one joyful and ne'er-to-be-forgotten.
occasion?the first of the many
times that I. have sought to console
1-C r i.1. _t 1.. I
IflVSUii ior lUU VTUt'S Ui u;iuuciui.uuui ujr i
this pitiable sight?I was called in to
assist at the reunion alter the half hour
had elapsed. A groom, ' bigger and
madder than the average, had hardly
re-entered his nuptial chamber when
he reappeared with direst alarm and
consternation depicted upon his countenance.
His room was the end one in
the hall, and my face the first to meet
his agonized face.
"Are you one of the hotel men?" he
easned.
4*I am sir" I replied, with that innate
truthfulness that characterizes the descendants
of George Washington.
"Well, sir, my wife has gone, sir,
and I'll have her, sir, if I search every
room in your curscd old shanty."
In vain I sought to console the
agitated youth and to check
THE CURRENT OF PROFANITY
that courscd with Niagara's own rush
and roar from his trembling lips. In
vain I assured him that it was not
customary wim wives iu rua away so
early in the marital life, and that there
was not a cnse on record of one's quitting
her bed and board befortv the expiration
of the honeymoon. It was
useless?he would not be comforted?
till finally purely out of the philanthropy
of an unselfish heart, I suggested that
he let me nssist him in examining the
room for traces of the missing bride.
He at once assented andthrew open
the door.
I entered with noiseless reverence.
XT?-v "t-% ^ n n V\A?r? ?ttn rv
XlUAJUO.il UClii^' UUU V/UIOWYCO YV &*>
visible. Ia the corner, piied upon a
chair, 'were the ordinary articles of a
woman's apparel, the smaller and more
mysterious garments hidden under the
larger. In the bed was a mock front,
rrD-mpro^CXl?OT?Zt~pTZIvri tuui?a?
skirr.^riucb tbe wi'ath of ' ;
THE AiAIOIED HUSBAND
had ruthlessly and immodestly exposed.
I took the situation at a glance. There
was evidently nothing under the bed?
that is, nothing of any consequence?
for it came too near the floor. There
* ^ ? ~
were no c.oseis ia me iuuiu, uu utuox
doors, and nothing behind which one
could hide. There was, however, what
the French call a buffet, with shelves
at the top and folding-doors at the
bottom.
I gauged the thing in my mind's eve,
and concluded there was just room
enough for a flexible little woman without
much clothing to squeeze in there.
All this was but the wor?of an instant's
nV>o?>rTa?.ior?. find then I sDoke with my
mouth sharply:
"Young man you have made a fool
of yourself. Go" to the sideboard and
lick her.''
Without waiting for me to hide myblushes
behind the door, ho opened
the buffet with a bound, and there,
nestled amid a cloud of fleecy white,
was the prettiest little rosebud of a
face that ever gleamed ont of lace and
linen.
Negroes and Negro Minstrels.
The London Saturday Beview, quoting
the language of Bully Bottom, who
calls lustily for "the tongs and the
bones," proceeds to say that the love
of negro minstrelsy is confined to the
English-speaking tribes and nations? '
to Great Britain and the United States,
la France and Germany, it seems, the
YvonWle Ttvpo t.V?A onnri sense and the
fvvl"v -? 0
good taste to refuse to enjoy such en- I
tertainments as the so-called "negro
minstrels" are in the habit of putting
on the stage. In Germany they tolerate
in this line nothing less than the
real negro, and even he, to win approval,
must prove that he has-been an
apprentice to the experience of plantation
life. In this matter the Germans
are wise. They have tact and instinct
on their side. We are compelled to
admit that the United States are the
headquarters for negro minstrelsyHere
the great fraud was invented, and
here the people bow (town in ecstatic
adoration before it The mystery of
the whole business is that it is as popular
in.the Sonlh, where its true character
is known, as it is in the North,
where much has to be taken for granted;
Whoever heard of a band of genuine
r\l cirri-no- on t.hft
pliiilLitblVli Vi/j VM w?
bones, the tamborine, and the banjo,
or sinking such songs as "Killarney"
and "Baby's Sleeping Now," or repeating
stale jokes and conundrums out of
the medical almanacs? Perhaps it is
the heartrending absurdity of the whole
business that gives it zest. Who can
say? Perhaps it is best to collate the
mystery into a conundrum and exnyaac
it tVino- "Oh Mr. Hawkins! Can
you?cart you tell us?can you tell us
why the niggero minstrel shows?why
the niggero minstrel shows are so popular
iu this our "native land?" We
await Mr. Hawkins' reply.?Atlanta
Constitution.
One of the wealthiest men in Philadelphia?some
say the wealthiest?is
hardly ever heard of at alL He is Mr.
Isaac V. Williamson, who, although |
past eighty years of age, is yet spry j
and active -and may be seen any day in |
the Stock Exchange moving about like j
the youngest. He lives at Bryn Mawr \
and goes out and in every morning and
afternoon on the trains. His habits
and dress are those of a man eking out
a subsistence, but he is popularly reputed
worth between $10,000,000 and
?20,000,000. His dress is poor and alwavs
the same; his food is thS simnlesl:
t,- 7 ?-?jt ;?
he lias no servants, no luxuries* no
horses?nothing whatever to indicate
his great wealth. He is a bachelor,
with few relatives, and lives by himself.
He is charitable,however, and has given
many large sums to deserving objects.
Things Worth Knowing.
1. That fish may be scaled much
easier by dipping into boiling water
about a minute.
2. That fish may as well be scaled, if"
desired, before packing down in salt,
though in that case-do not scald them.
8. Salt fish is quickest and .best freshened
by soaking in sour milk. ,
A rPko4- twilf 4a fl irwo/? aV'
changed, may be sweetened, and rendered
fit for use again by stirring' in a
little soda.
5. That salt- -willj curdle new milk;
hence, in preparing milk porridge,
gravies, etc., the "salt-should not be
added tmtil the dish is prepared.
6. That fresh meat, after beginning
to sour, will sweeten if placed-out doors
in the cool over night.
7. That clear boiling -water "will. remove
tea stains..* Eour. the water
'"tfosggh 4itS^6ventlt^j
spreading over tbc laonc.^ . ^ .
8. That ripe tomatoes will removeink
and other stains, from white cloth,
also from the hands.
9. That a tablespoonful of turpentine
boiled with your white clothes will aid
the whitening process.
10. That boiled starch is much improved
by the addition of a lit$le spefm.
or a little salt, or both, or arliiQegum
arabic dissolved.
11. That beeswax and salt wiHmskeyour
rusty fia^rons as elean-and smooth
as glass. Tie a lump of -war'-iua ra^
and Keep it for that purpose. -When
-l!-- - t-J. ~ 4-1. ... WK'
LUti irons uut iuu wcrn uiat nitu
a wax rag, then scour with a paper
or cloth sprinkled with salt.- .'3
12. That blue ointment and kerosene^
mixed in equal proportions,* and applied
to besteads, is"an unfailing bedbugs
remedy, and that a coat of white* c
wash is ditto for walls of a log house."
13. That kerosene will soften boots
or shoes which hare been hardened by -H
water, and render them as pliable as;
new.
14. That kerosene will make the tea-' \
kettles as bright as new. Saturate a
woolen rag and rub with it. It will ,
also remove stains from clean varnished !
furniture. . |.i
15. That cool rain water and soda ]
will remove machine grease from wash- j
able fabrics. Every one of the above
recipes is unfailing.
A Fish- Acrobat.
One warm afternoon a stroll*. . com- i
ing to the borders of a small pond, 1
threw himself down beside a little tree
that leaned over the water, so< that its <
lowest branches were but a few feet ]
above the surface. While reclining in *
the shade, and idlj watching the leaves <
tnatieii r.pon tno water ana saiiea <
away, the "stroller suddenly heard a
chirping overhead, and looking rip saw <
on a long limb two small sparrows. 3
Near them, fluttering in the air, rising; t
falling, and now alighting beside them, 1
was the mother-bird. She was evident- 1
ly engaged in giving the fledgelings 5
their first lesson in flying. But the <
young birds could notr be induced to
leave their stmnort: thev merelv'Taised
their little wings and followed their. f:
mother ont from the tree by edging^
""fe^Sster ifa^ }
went, until finally they were out on the ?|
very tip of the branch overhangiagthe r
water which reflected their every move- s
ment ' \
For some time these motions of the T
mother and young were kept np, and j
perhaps our observer sank into a doze, }
for he suddenly became aware thatone r
of the birds had disappeared, that a j
great splash had occurred under ihe 14
^ - 1* J
11E2D, ana mac me moiiier-mra naa ^
changed her cries to those of alarm. \
But it was evident from the mother- j
bird's actions that the little bird had \
not flown away. The stroller coneluded
that it had fallen into thewater, j
and he rose to see if he could recover ]
it, when there shot up from the water j
a long, slender fish, that quickly \
darted through the air and snatched (
the remaining bird from the limb, fall- *
ing back intcTthe pond with a splash \
ajid a whisk of its taiL This startling (
leap astonished the observer, but it also ,
fully explained to him the disappear- <
ance of the other youn^ bird. j
The pike was evidently out hunting, ]
and spying tho birds upon the limb, it t
had carefully measured the distance, \
and by two vigorous jumps had cap- \
turcd them both. The mother-bird (
was both grieved and dazed by the sud- j
den calamity that had befallen the i
fledgelings, and perhaps fearing a sim- t
ilar late lor nerseit, sne soon new away. ;
?C. F. Bolder, in St. Nicholas for An- j
gust.
A Word Spoken in Season.
A word spoken in duo season often
has its ready reward. Walking into a
saloon where a. man was just about
tossing off a schooner of lager, a friend
of temperance stepped up to the bar
and laying his hand on the man's arm, *
said: "My friend, do you know that
you are putting an enemy into your
mr>nt.h to sf.Aal awav vonr brains?" The
beer-bibber looked at the friend of
temperance in stupid wonder as he ex-. '
claimed: "What's-yergivn's?" "Not 3
only is beer an intoxicant," continued .]
the f. of t, "but it contains adulterants
hurtful to health. It is .a fruitful cause
of sickness and death." The beer- j
bibber deigned not a word in reply to j
this, but with a scornful gesture raised
the glass to his lips. In another in- j
it+o n na nr/vn'M hftvft been drained to
the bottom. The 1 oft made one '
more appeal "Know you not," he
said, "that tho beer is 95 per cent wa- '?
ter?" The glass came down with a i
crash on the marble bar, and was shiY- ^
ered to atoms, tho beer which it had. .
contained flowing in . an unnoticed
stream upon the floor. "Great Caesar!" *
cried the beer-bibber, "why didn't you
say that the first thing?" And he
wiped tne beady perspiration from his ,
brow as he added: "Stranger, Tint 1
inilb W&5 li LLllgLLbJ lijUlOi
Ninety-five per cent, water?ugh!"?
Boston Transcript.
The Wilhclm Theater, Berlin, is built
on part of a garden. At the end of
each apt the audience go out into -the
garden until a bell rings to give notice j
of the next. The second act of "Trova- {
tore" is compressed into twelve min- j
utes, and a recent visitor says that the
audience evidently expecteu more vi
it, for no one stirred, A notice, "End (
of the Act," rose out of the stage, and ,
in two minutes the exodas was com- J
plete. Each time the entire audience {
went out in less than two minutes and j
refilled the house in less than three; j
The eating and drinking was not done ^
hastily at a bar, but leisurely done at .
tables. The waiter in a few seconds 1
would cover a table with a cloth, knives \
and forks, plates, etc., and peonle had {
" little wpftls hAtwAftn t^'A acta." ,
while the others waited about tmtir !
the bell rang Sj
g ~T
Dinner dishes decorated with yersei j
of poetry, maxims, conundrums* etc;, j
are very interesting, and furnish tht ^
guests something to talk about.
>& '
sr' literature of the Face.
|r
.Observe how, when the shrewd
pjalmi3t is reading the lines of a hand,
he scans the face with almost equal in- :
terest These learned people know j
hfcw a soul dwells in the eye; and the ;
ability to understand its language is
inborn with most folks without having
to study it, though extremely sensitive
persons havetold me that more power
of discrimination rested in their hands
than, they could read from every feature
of the face, the fingers being so full of
vision that they could feel a color without
seeing it; so full of nerves that an
impression was instantaneous and
could be relied upon; so full of life
thSat when their possessor was in love
ti&rtingled with an affectionate intox"rV_,
:
much complacency and some conceit
B^sti?is _ eyes- that cannot look one
s^^ily in the face denote a deceitful,
designing mind. Eyes in which, the
white has a yellowish tinge and is
streaked : with; reddish veins, prove
much of strong passion and hasty tern- 1
per. Very bine eyes bespeak a mind
inclined to coquetry; grey eyes signify
dignity, intelligence and excellent ,
reasoning facilities; greenish 1 eyes,
falsehood and a fondness for scandaL
A malicious mind Is often indicated by .!
greenish eyes. Black eyes show a pas- J
siooate, lively temperament, and often- .
times a most deceitful disposition; .
brown eyes are generally tender and
true, indicating a kind and happy dis- position.
,
Of the nose. A Soman nose denotes
an enterprising, business-like charac- ,
ter; a long nose is a sign of good sense; :
a perfectly straight nose indicates a (
pure and noble son!, unless the eye (
contradicts it; a nez retrousse signifies a ,
spirit of mischief, wit and dash; a large (
nftsa jo?ene?allv indicates larore mind and .
good nature, but lack of energy. Thick
lips generally mean either great
jenins or great stupidity; very thin
Bps, cruelty,.avariciousness, and if the
lips arc habitually compressed, falsehood.
Dimples on the cheek are
blown.as the abodes of roguery, and
in-the chin of Cupid and his pranks.
' jjLIean face .speaks more of intelligence
than a fat face, generally speaking
and they do say, beware of a full,
round and greasy face?it means
reachery.
Irascibility is accompanied by an
jrect posture, open nostrils, moist temples,
displaying superficial veins which
stand out and throb under the least
JXCitemenL, large, unequal, lu-arrngea ,
iyes, and equal use of both hands. ^
A genius may be expected from me- a
Hum stature, blue-gray or brown eyes, r
prominent and large forehead, with t
ieinples a little hollow; under lip slight- j
j retiring, a fixed, attentive look, and
labitual inclination of the head either
backward or forward.?Forney's Prop-ess.
. - 1 * s
^ Iiove Among the Peaches. jj
..^Several yeais ago a gentleman living ?'
bong-ht a farm near Wyom- '
ow TDo^ve^Tr^e remeveH thither- with ^
asw$?4- and orily- child, a daughter . *
io\j[ about 28 years of age, a ongnt ana iccomjJlishedgirL
To vary the mono- l!
oay>of her simple rustic life she taught ?
nusic in the surrounding neighborhood. tl
L young man dressed like a laborer, a
rat showing evidences of a more refined
lature than his external appearance 7
ndicated, applied for and obtained work a
rom the heroine's father. He was a J
Tell-built, pleasant looking fellow, al- t
hough not handsome, and wore a 0
)right auburn beard. A mutual aflfec- 2
ion sprung up between the daughter of ?
he household and the new hand. A I
iharp watch was kept on the maiden, x
rat in one of her usual rounds among
ler nuDils her lover took-advantage of *
he opportunity,- proposed, was accept- 1
id,. and-the twain went to the nearest 7
ninisttir, where they were made one. |
Chey returned later in the evening,
ionfessed, and the newly wedded wife J
pleaded forgiveness. Her father be- *
iame very wrotii at her unautiful act 1
ind ejected them, with a few articles
>elonglng to them, from his home, and 3
?ld tnem never to return. Thoy went e
;o her uncle's house, where they stopped
"or the night The next morning, with- 1
rat any further parley wuu tne inaig- iant
father-in-law, they went north on
;he first train and did not stop until 3
;hey reached Albany, in New York State. t
ro the astonishment of his wife he s
iere disclosed his true position?the s
ton of very wealthy parents and him- J
lelf possessed of a competence in his 1
>wn name, He had fled from homo
;or some folly, bat his parents received
;heir new daughter-in-law with open
irms. A letter of explanation was sent e
\o her parents at Wyoming, who were t
jveijoyea at their daughter's good \
fortune.?Wilmington News, i
S
Buffalo Gnats Kill Hogs. t
Great numbers of hogs have been *
lyin^In West Tennessee during this z
nonth. Many owners have lost all, jvhile
others have lost one-hall It has c
seen noticed by close observers that
fears when the buffalo gnats are bad an j
musual number of hogs die. During
t _ T
,ast April ins Dunaio guaia were ua- 3
lemefy bad- "Horses that were not ;
rreased with tar and grease of some
and of gnat oil would "die in a day, j
md cows would suffer if smokes were j
lot made for them or they were not
greased with a preventive. Some r
rears these gnats do not appear at alL
Ct has heretofore been thought that j
raffalo gnats did not affect hogs, but j
ihe unusual number dying after the r
jnats have disappeared has led. the t
jwners of hogs to investigate. Those j
vho provided their hogs with smokes ?
>r kept them up, it seems, have lost j
jut very few, and this fact strengthens f
ie theory that the gnats are doing the j
ieadly work. One strange thing about c
t is that the hogs do not die forthwith,
is horses or cows, but a month or two c
;lapses before they die or get sick. A s
raiser of ho?s in the adjoining County c
)f LauderdSe cut a hog's head open
.he other day and found a large nam
>er of gnats in the head. This hog was j,
iffected like all the others that have s
jeen dying.?Louisville FosLColonel
Hollister's fruit ranch, at t.
3-len Annie, near Santa Barbara, is as.Timing
large proportions. Tne Cololei
cultivated fruit trees without irrigaion,
and, according to the Independent, t
las 1,000 olive trees, 1,200 orange, 500
emon, 500 lime, 10,000 almond, 4,000 _
walnut, 2,500 apricot* apple, peach, j;
>ear, cherry, nectarine and plum, with j
T ?? --j-incirloa -fiorq
IW ?)apaucoo pciaiLuiuvu, ?j.,-,
oquats and plums, making over 20,000
xees. That is a very good start in .
ruit growing, and our Los Angeles i
>rchard!sts--wiU have to be up and dong
to get ahead of our Santa Barbari- J
m. : In-vineyards we are a hundred
:'old* ahead, "but there are few orchard- ^
sts equal to him in Los Angeles.?Los 1
Angeles (Ceil.) Emerald. ^
Vw
'y. -
A Milkmaid in Top Boots.
A wealthy farmer in Rutherford
County not long since was applied to
by a good-looking lad for work, the
boy saying that he preferred to drive a
harvester or a wagon or do other light
work about the farm. The applicant
looked so delicate that the farmer refused
the request, but gave the lad the
name of a farmer in the adjoining
county who wanted a boy to milk cows.
The situation was sought and the lad
taken on tnal. The two farmers met
a few days since in Nashville, and got
to talking about the lad. Said the employer
Qi the boy: "Ho is the best
milker I ever saw, and can get more
milk from the cows than any one I ever
had-before him,'. He attends strictly to
business, -and suits me first-rate, "but
I'm afraid he is going to create a senjjjffitorig^essed
by his friend, the farmer
was- cooJ*?j5(?ito admit that his
wife had discoa^
had employed to mii^hecc^^wasa
woman. "When I found it out .I fold
my wife tee girl woulanave to go, as
it would never do to bave our neighbors
know wo had a woman parading
around the fam in top-boots. My wife
told me Bbe didn't think anybody else
would ever find it out, and it was worth
while taking the chances on it, as the
lad suited us so well I liked Georgie,
and took my wife's advice, and I think
she will be able to stay with us and
wear men's clothes as long as she
wants to.:'
'She liVed up. in Indiana and had
heard about Middle Tennessee, where
pou coma tnrovr your nat on toe ripening
wheat and it would bear it up, it
was so thick and strong, so she" determined
to come down here and get work
Dn a farm, where she could wcrk in the
>pen air nearly all the year round. It
was then that she determined to carry
jut a long-cherished plan, that of assuming
the garb of a man, which added
so much to her independence in seek
ng a situation, ^inu you ougnt to see
ier?my milker. She's a dandy, I can
;ell you. She weighs about 140 pounds,
s large for a woman, being about five
eet eight. Her hair is black, and she
Darts it on the side and wears it very
ihort She has large feet and hands,
md wears kip boots two sizes too long
'or her. She has a round face and a
ognish twinkle in her large black eyes,
md her coarse shirt is always kept
rationed close around her weil-shaped
ieck.
"When I tell you she wears a wide)rimmed,
coarse straw hat on the back
>f her head, and tight-fitting green
aan nants thrust loose!v in the ton of
L -"V A
Ler coarse boots, always has fi word
md a joke for everybody aud is very
nuch liked by. my wife, I leave you
lotting to add to the picture.?Nash-tillt
American.
Cure for Snake-Bites.
Very few physicians know how
uccessfully treat snake-bite. I have,
ad hundreds of cases tinder my obervation,
and have seen many wonderal
cures. - In countries where the
lent is almost unheard of. The most .
ommon antidote used is whisky in
arge quantities, which acts to a good
ffect where the patient is not addicted
0 drink, but should he be partly saturated
with alcohol, then it is of no avaiL
A cure not generally known, and
rhich acts almost by magic, is to take
. live chicken and cut it open and
ilace it over the wound. In two or
1 .T 1
aree minutes uio xuvrx mviughly
saturated with the poison, and
.ssumes a dark-green color. Then
(lace a fresh one on the punctured
i arts, and still a third one, which is
isnally sufficient in ordinary cases.
A never-failing remedy that is used
o a great extent in Florida is a com>ination
of lion-root and rattlesnakeiolet.
The former is made into a tea,
,nd a salve is made of the violet. Beore
using this, however, a poultice
aade of salt and indigo is applied to
ae wound, to araw ouc tno poisonous
natter.
Another remedy, easily applied and
.lways at hand, is to dig a hole in the
arth and bury the injured part in it
There is something peculiar in conLection
with a snake-bite, and I want
o tell you of it. if a man should be
)itten on the arm, say to-day, just one
'ear from now. within a day or two of
v>o finm'ws.irv nf the oricurance. the
,rm will begin to swell, and yellow
pots resembling tlioi e of a snake appear,
and this will recur eacli succeedng
year.?Pittsburg Gazette.
A Fish Story.
Squire Borge, of Bangor, is wealthy
,nd wishes his friends to understand
hat he is a wonderful sportsman. Last
pinter he started up country on a fish
Dg trip, where he met with poor
uccess. The first thing he did on renrninsr
to the cit7 was to go to a
narket and buy fifteen trout. They
yere beauties, and he told the salesnan
what lie was going to do and ask
tim where he should say they were
taught.
"Oh, tell them they were taken from
jinus Pond."
On his way home the squire called
,nd had the largest one photographed.
Jnderneatn the picture he wrote:
"One of the fifteen tafcen from Liinus
?ond, Jan. 8, 1884, bv Timothy Borge,
Ssq."
In two days he came back to the
narketman and said:
"Lookee here, -where is the Linns
?ond, anyhow? They asked me where
t was and I told them it was np in the
LOrth part of Hancock County. Then
hey got a map and wanted me to show
t to them, and for the life of me I
:ouldn't find it Just tell me where it
s and I'll go home and fix them. Conound
their hearts, I'll tell 'em where
!iinns Pond is, and give them enough
)I It.
Then the marketman led him gently
mtside the shop and pointed to his
ign. It read: "Linus Pond. Fish,
ijsters and game."?Boston Globe.
The reporter of the Times yesteraay
aspected what is probably the largest
trawberry ever raised in California.
*- ?? ? a? If
l> WHS glUWil <ju LIXc putt Ui XIA. II vivu,
upcrintendent of the Southern Califoriia
Packing company, and measures *
i inches in circumferencc. The plant
in which ibis extraordinary berry grew
/as planted iast February and is of
he Sharpicss variety. Besides this renarkable
specimen alluded to, there
.re seventy-three more berries on the
dant. and at least twenty blossoms.?
j-qs Angeks Times.
The fund of $5,000, collected in the
?ceur d'Alcne mining region for the
irst baby born within the territory,
7as awarded to the wife of a freight
land on the Northern Pacific, who
ralked twenty-five miles that her child
night first see the light in accordance
viih the terms of the prize, and revived
the money.
Easiness Gambling.
It is the fascination of business gambling
that, apparently, it offers greater
scope to brains than do the ordinary
games of chance. Operations on
'change require, for any degree of success
beyond occasional luck, knowledge
of corporate transactions, the accumulation
and co-ordination of other trustworthy
information, and a nicety of
judgment beyond the reach of any but
the keenest business intellects. And
juci c ill ikju.KJYV tuo gaxu'
bling systems at Monaco, confidence .
and knowledge may be dangerous
things. Nothing but unfair advantage
wins steadily in selling "long" or selling
4"short""or dealing in "futures."
Of course, stock exchanges and produce
exchanges are useful adjuncts of honest .
commerce^. and bankers and brokers
are necessary to the operations of exchange.
But, one vekr taken with r
other; tke-teae.interests of exchanges
and bankers and brokers-like the in
" teregts of society in general, will be
foun3*Tt>4je^ii the way of real trading. *
Petitions CT5&og^demoralizes cam- ?
merce w;**> fr^riri>vPp::T>>,ri rriii w ji
cause of extravagance, recklessness and <
low business morality. When the gam- i
bling transactions exceed the honest
investments more than twenty "fold, as
some have estimated, it is impossible
to have a sound condition of business, <
And when stocks suffer, as recently, a ?
depreciation of two thousand millions
of dollars mainly because of gambling |
influences, stocks which are real oroo- "
erty dissipate only less rapidly than ;
those which were merely "water," and 1
therefore disappeared, like vapor.
Probably the most cnlpable, because
the most responsible, of the men who ^
have stimulated the gambling mania ]
are fho bakers who supply the capital }
without which these transactions could '
not be carried through. the exchange ?
under guise of transfers of stock. These
men know very well that the business <
would be regarded by them as immoral 1
and unsonnd if the profits were not so 1
captivating. Said one of them to a j
new firm of brokers, whose account he i
was taking: "Whatever you do, don't
'lay down'* on your bank"?in other j
words: "When the day of disaster over
tates you, protect your nnanciai part- ?
ner by 'laying down' on somebody |
else." Of greater significance is the ?
fact tbat "conservative" bankers and
brokers, who are eager to help others
into the mazes of Wall street prefer to ?
have their customers think it is a rule
of the firm never to gamble on its own *
account?"Topics of the Time" in the *
August Century. -- . ^ The
Nile Crier. *
WI\aw fii?> innn+Vin _
?T UVU WiV iUUUUU>ViVJUL a^iVt<-VU?kl IIUV T
capital?usually at tlie end of June or c
the beginning of July?the Nile criers j
(Muna-di-en-Nil) begin their work, e
These criers are men, whose business ?
it is to call oat, or rather to recite, be- j
fore the houses of those who wish it, r
how much the Nile has rLwn during
the last twenty-four hours." The Ori- *
ental does everything, no matter what d
it is, gravely, slowly, with much dig- j
nity and verbosity, and is never chary
O- his g-rCC-..rtT^t??frMkj?otW-tgo.
plicated ceremony of words and mo- ?
tions which usually takes some minutes b
to perform. And in the same way the ?
announcement of the. river's rise, which
seems to us such a simple matter, is a *
most serious affair. a
The day before the crier begins his
talk he goes through the streets ac- V
companied by a boy, whose part it is to s;
act as chorus and to sing the response t<
at the proper moment. The crier "
sings: * S
"God has looted graciously upon the fields." E
Response: * Oh! day of glad tidings."
"To-morrow bee-ins the announcement."
Eesponse: "May It be followed by sue- G
cess."
Before the crier proceeds to give the 3
information so much desired, he in- ?
tones with the boy a lengthy, alter- a
nating chant, in which he praises God, implores
blessings on the Prophet and ?
all his believers, and on the master of ^
the house and all his children- Not ?
until all this has been carefully gone T
through does he proceed to say the
Nile has risen so many inches. ,
This ceremony i3 carried on until the
month of September, when the river *
has reached its culminating point, and "
the crier, as bringerof such good news,
never fails to claim his "baksheesh"? c
sometimes humbly, and sometimes, too, ?
very imperiously.?Harper's Monthly. ?
? 1 m v
A Muscular Schoolmaster. j
A short time ago one of the overgrown
pupils of a school in Shropshire, r
who takes the lead in all the dare-devil 0
exploits of fresh and enthusiastic c
youth, was "called up" for a brief in- q
terview. One of the parties to the dis- t
cussion was 3 long, nine cane, guar- 2
anteed to curl around a. fellow and ?
make him sing. "Bend down," ob- j,
served the second master, insinuating- s
ly. "Shan't," remarked the pupS, t
who was a fair head and shoulders
taller than the pedagogue. "I beg *
your pardon," said the latter, r
"Shan't," repeated the lad, "so take
it out of that; I'm not going to be
caned; I'm not a boy." *<), very ,
well," said the master," "very well; if +
you won't be treated as a boy, come j
down stairs and be treated as a man." 4
He took off his coat as he spoke, and
rolled up his sleeves. They adjourned 1?
or?/^ ftAAtv
to UitJ Ulft^lVUUU, (UiU ?uv
youngster, reveling in his superior v
build, and the diminutive second master
had s little set-to. In about ten .
minutes the master had given the young *
fellow about as sound a thrashing as *
ever he had in his life, and subsequent- J
ly he prevailed upon him to take a gen- *
tie caning in the sanctity of an upper ?
room.?Cor. Hartford Times. *
<
Shipping a Baby as Freight. ^
When the Mexico sailed from Victo- s
_S- -- I T ^
n3r on xiur ibUXf iv x & uuw^w
she carried a live Indian baby, which c
bad been shipped as freight to a leading
society belle of San Francisco, who j
id an enthusiast in the collection of In- r
dian curios. The Victoria Times gives i
this account of the affair: c
It seems, so the story goes, that she s
wrote to a young man here to send her ?
an Indian curio?something so unique c
as to excite the envy of all of her s
friends. The young man purchased a t
papoose from its mother, but was for c
some time at a loss how to forward it. i
He finally put the child and a five gallon
can of milk into a box just large t
enough to prevent the youngster from t
being tumbled around by the action of *
the vessel, and fitted the box up with
* ' ?- 1 m _ XL _ T I
padding ana Deuaing. xo tue csu no
attached a tube, from which the baby
can help himself to milk whenever he
is zo inclined. The air-holes of the box .
are numerous, and as it is particularly 1
under the care of the purser, the infant will
probably reach its destination a
bright baby. Whether or not the young (
lady will consent to receive him when j
he arrives is what is now agitating the <
purser and the freight clerk.?Toronto {
Ledger.
"WIT AND HUMOB.
Naomi was 580 years old before she
was married. lie. ice-cream bUsi*
ness must have got a good start daring
Naomi's maidenhood.
"Ah, Jones, given np club life since
a r. 3 . .\r . . _n -ir
you got main ear "not as am 1
have as much club life as ever. The
only trouble is my -wife carries the
cluh."
"Oh, mamma, mammal" said a little
girl the other day, as she saw a chicken
without any feathers in its tail, "see
dat ole hen! She has losted the ribbons
out of her polonaise.1' '
"Clothes!" exclaimed Yeast the
other morning to his wife, who was importuning
her husband for some summer
fhrincrst "whv. I haven't a re
spectable pair of trousers to my back!"
'Trust men and they will trust yon,"
said Balph Waldo Emerson. "Trust i_?nn?imc
men and they will bast yoo?."
ordinary, cvery-day busine^TMS?^
Cincinnati^ Saturday .
Duke Comtobed
also," and Prints Allthehews.
Commenting on the census showing
that the number of persons in each
family is a fraction over five, a cynical
old bachelor superfluously adds that ^1
the husband is the fraction over.
They, have a pound for cats in
Brooklyn, says an exchange. We have
% pound for them in Boston, and it will
be administered with anything that
virnftQ nnr P/X^
oVAUWU TTiWIIiH v U* *VMVU? x/vvw/f J. V0M
"Love is blind.'* Maybe that's how
;he gas' is so often tnrned down in the
Darlor when lore takes possession.
Because why? Love being blindthere
s no use in wasting gas to make light
A man will laughat a woman enleavormg
to sharpen a lead pencil,
rat he does not reflect thsfcif be were
0 try ever so hard he could never trim
1 last year's hat so that it looks like
The Summer offers' great inducenonts
to lovers. There are picnics,
ixcursions, parks, front door, court
imps, pleasure serous, ice cream, ana
ratter still, they can see all the styles
>f baby coaches. .
"I think I will go to OMatoJirg,"
laid a maiden of uncertain age. 4<What
or?" asked her grandfather. "Be ause
there is one' factory there that
nakes 50,000 matches every-day. " she .
eplied, with a sigh.
Young man, in looking for a wife
ook for an economical one. The gisi
rho in this sort of weather won't let
csJiug her until she has'taken off her
oliarT^dthus Saved it from being
anssed, istSe one who shows practice
"Ma," said MisNgarveuu, ."Jenny
'ones has been presen!^tat court in
London." "That's nothingJ|jrepiied
aa. "Why. I was in court
reeks when my sister was getting her , , ivorce.
We are just as good as the
When I think that there are men who
letace, to address n<?r, toSiiaBrnBr:? ??"
y the hand, and to say to her without'
inking to the ground, with terror:
Will you marry me?".. I cannot help.
rondcring to what lengths human
udacity will go.?SlahL
A?"You see thatman over, opposite?
Tell, he was once one of the most repectable
and respected citizens in
:>wn." B?"And isn't he now?" A?
'Alas! no. He went yachting last
ummer and saw the sea sexpent."
!?"And what of that?" A?"Every- -
ody speaks of him now as a liar and a ,
Somehow the young ladies don't
eem to -grasp the leap-year idea as
[icy should. They ought to fly around
nd spend their time and money on the
oung men, who have to do that sort of
hing three years on the stretch. Leap
ear was designed expressly togive
be young men a financial resVasit
rere, and they need it, too.
A country woman, who was visiting
ier married daughter in New York,
rrote home that sne was "liying on a
.at.1' A family council was held to
.etcrmme waac uie parose awBfc xuo
ldest son, who had been to the city,
aid it meant she was "Hying in a great
tig house." But the majority came to
he conclusion that she meant 'that she
ras living on her son-in-law.?.Boston
The girl with soft gray eyes and
ippling larown hair, who 'walked all
ver your poor, fluttering heart at the
Parity bail, has just finished a crazy
uilt containing 1,06$ pieces cf neekies
and hat-linings, put together with^^w^? ?
1 50ft otitr?'npc And h?r nfwrr fCEffv
axher fastens on his suspenders with a 1111^99
rag'nail, a piece of twine, a sharp
tide, and one regularly ordained baton.?Burlington
Eaickeye.
Ikey, who has recently, returned
rom a personally misconducted trip to
'aris, is never tired of relating his
ronderful adventures to his doting but
omewhat suspicious mamma, "You'd
lardly believe it," said Ikey; "but all
he boys and girls in. Paris speak
French as easy as I speak English.
'And who teaches them?" said the
Id lady, flushing ominouslv. "I
1?1? " mU ftv?r. *+h~i+ W >a
i\JLL U JUiy TT f OU4U XAVJ J - VIM 4f M VMM* ; -.:
nore fanny to hear all the French dogs
ark in English."
A mischievous youngster who lives
i the West End was mildly reproved
>y amaiden aunt for slidingdown the
lanisters. "I don't think mother
ikes to have you do so, Johnny/' she
aid. The future statesman, engrossed
n his sport* paid no attention to her. ,
Come, Johnny, dear," she persisted, '
'1 wouldn't do that." Johnny looked
ipwith stern composure and remarked^
eriously: * 'No, I shouldn't think you
eould want to. I wouldn't if-I was an
dd maid!"--Boston Globe.
"Look here, now," exdsiased
roung man, looking aghast at the
airror, 4,you*ve gone and: shaved off
ny mustache! Wouldn't have had it
Lone for $50." "I beg yoarpardon,"
aid the barber, "but really, you
mow, I didn't notiee that you wore
ine." Then the young man-loo&xl &
^rcat, awiul look at that wretched
>arber and went out into the o^pen. air
if day and longed to be a red-handed
nurderer.? Boston Transcript.
The Irish peasantry are noted for
heir beautiful hands. Whether potaoes,
poor living, bo^-trotting and damp
slimate improve tne hand we know
hnf +ht* frith lass has 2 weH-loTJHm
td and a pretty hand. They are & :
anall handed people, no matterhow
mich they wash, iron, cook, or dig;
he English on the contrary are a people
of Dig knuckles; so are the Scotch.
A western farmer, being left in charge
>f his baby, nailed a box to the plow
jeam, and in this the little fellow was
:arrled during the day's plowing,
;eemed well contented.