The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, April 16, 1884, Image 1
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: . ~~~ 7 WINNSBORO, S. C., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16, 1884. _ ; ; ' ::'J
"Whose Scissors Did It?
*T was winter. nnd jray Jack Frost had flung
' His sparkliup jeweis on the flelds of snow,?
While over the way his icicles hung
From ;he cdsrv of the roof, in an even row.
My little jrirl looked across the way.
At the frozen fringe which was hanging
there:
And then in soft tones I heard her say:
"I -wonder who banned that house's hair?"
?Chandler, in the St. Nicholas.
In Primeval "Wood.
Jhisdtep, primeval wood?how still!
silence bere makes all his own;
^dJ^^^^taj^hapes. with hands upon their lips,
about bis darkened throne.
flKf-nt pleadine of the trees?
it shames the soul's dcspairl
^uiication uK.veless, mute.
op th<*:r attitude of prayer.
Mi ? John V?nee Cheney, in Century.
ft LOVE'S USURY.
Bfsure, ma'am, will yez be afther
j:c- ^Rliss Susy come-round to Mrs.
K the night? It's the pretty KitMf
wedding party, aud it's me.self
HfAM-f A ? *- i-p* "
Ijokeswoman was Irish Kathfaithfiil
village washerwoman,
Kelly was one of her steady
s whom she regarded with
pect and admiration.
ougfc now the wife of a rich
perons farmer, she did not
c*oid shonlder to Kathleen, who
le over from Ireland in the
p with her. On the contrary,
s, one and all, made much of
>t woman.
u let me go. mother," said Su:ty
vivacious maiden of six>
clapped her hands gleeiully
>ugkt. "You've no idea what
o Ue at the Keliys when they
wry-making. You know yon
once before. Don't you re
f memoerr is was waea usuv g?vu &
we4ding to one of their farm hands."
" **Sntv; Miss Susy, yer mother must
bring vt-z over hurself, and then she'll
see what good cheer a true sou of the
*zrvvn sod' will give tohis friends. But
I liiu.-n't stand here and wag my
tongue. 1 mqst be on the way to geta
> su}>!>er for roy ouhl man and the ehild?-r."
As soon as Kathleen was out of sight,
Susy said coaxingly:
"May I g<ymotlier?' Harry will takeurn
over, arid ih^n he can stay and see
what an Irisir merry-making is like. It
will <16 him good, and take some-of the
primness ont of him. l'\%e been wondering
ever since he came if he had auv
urn .
d^orsl?:aoL\ Siuy, la sneak so siiirhtof
your cousin^ Remember,
jj^BfflBMBse. that he h:?> carried oil the hi^hBoiiors
of Lii.'ala&s this year,.and.
B he has been ordered here by his
Bieiim to reeruit hi^icaltluV
Bsv tossed her heatf^ "
'Hi: HE Ve were his. relatives before, this
Bner, weren't we mother? I don't
much- for cousins who only come
He us becau.sc they arc ordered to
ountrv *for their health.' "
B* am sorry, Cousin Susy," said a
B voice behind her, "but was I to
B what I was missing, by staying
B? I assure you that it shall not 00
Bpp&w&s a gleam of mischief in
B8^^^o?cf>r?r?^es'as he said this; but
^Bnsy was too much taken aback at hav5BH&
bcr speech overheard to look at
MBaig g<tys n """y tKirvgg
Hes not mean, Harry; so you musn't
Bv any atte ntion to her thoughtless
iH Brds."
M"Aud Susy says a good many things
Be docs mean," put'in the said Susy;
Hind one of them is 'May Harry escort
Hs over to tfic'Kelly Farm!?' "
And she looked at Harry with a mer
smrle; her momentary discomfiture
Hnishing as suddenly as it had come.
That will be just as Harry says,
Bisy. I" will trust you to his care wlll?^n
-Harry says Go," don't you, cousin?
BBon will miss it if vou don't.1'
IBp't am' a: your service, Cousin Susy.
Bat you muse promise to post me a litHo
as to how to behave."
7
I Again a merry sparkle flashed into
lie usually grave eyes of the young
R>Ilegian. But Sosy answered in good
< "All you have to do is to sit still and
see the lads and lasses take partners
for the dances, and to keep from laughmgva$ih,ej?."
"I doo/t suppose it wonld be proper
for me td get np anrfdarrce too?"
,*>.*??u dance an Irisitjig? I would
? giv? th& world to -see you.'try it!''
"Vmi <shn.ll be orratifiedl and, for-less
than 'the world!?that is,. if you would
promise to give me some reward for
_ . my obedience.1' .
, I "Of course I wilL But I will tell
* you beforehand that my possessions are
-xtoae ofth^m^very valuable."
"One; doesn't always oare for expensive
things. What yoa^v&hte very
I. lightly, I might hold very precious."
"Then it is a bargain. To think of
my serious college cousin dancing an
Irish jig!" And a ripple of merry
laughter sounded from Susy's red lips
! Jr as she.left tno room.
Early evening found the cousins on
theirwav-to theiKeily Farm.
The round moon, like a globe of silver
light, was just visible above the
horizon as they readied Ike long, low,
comfortable-looking house.
In the daytime it was not a particu\
Jarly rc.pantac looking place;. but it
now received a gbunour from the uncertain
light -which mellowed -down
all uncoutn angles, and brought into
_ ^fcminence the Turai surroundings.
**9-"-w^be tsU rounded haymows looked
* like giint bee-hives, and the few trees
which%ad-been held sacred from tho
hx on accountof their iage, waved their
quivering silver-tinted leaves a rustling
welcome to the new comers, who
were sufficiently romantically inclined
to thus construe, it
As is often the ease with prosperous
" farmers, the barn was upon a much
v> larger scale than the house, and it had
.been thoroughly cleansed and made
gay with rural decorations.
WW " ' Many hands had been busy within it,
as Kittio's wedding was a matter of
great interest to all the young folks
who had been born and brought up
near her home.
Susy was not native born to the
neighborhood, so she was outside the
. . charmed circle; but none the less was
she welcomed, and made mnch of, the
very fact that she had but lately be<*un
to learn, the mysteries of country life
fg " adding to" the interest with which she
was regarded.
Surry alsoreceived a cardial reception,
and,- much to Susy's- surprise, he
entered so heartily into the fan, and
made himself so entertaining, that
wherever he was there was sure to be
a fresh burst-of merry laughter.
But the grand finale 01 enjoyment
was not reached until after the musicians
came and took possession of the
seats prepared for them upon a platform,
which had been constructed at
. the extreme end- of the huge barn,
y where the dancing was to-be, as the ar?
rangemeuts for feasting the guests bad
monopolized the ground-floor of the
farmhouse proper.
On the way home, Harry turned to
Susy.
"Have I earned my promised reward.
Cousin Susy?"
"Yes, Harry, you have, indeed.
I What shall I give you?"
j "Something so precious that I hardi
ly dare j.sk for it.
t "After this evening I should not.be:
lieve you would hesiiate at anything,
| Harry. So don't make a pretence of
i beinj shy in putting forward your
j claim- I really believe I do not know
; you at ail! I have thought you to be so
| quiet without a bit of fun in you!1'
Susy spoke half in fun, but still there
I was a ring of truth in what she said.
| Harry certainly had a two-sided charj
acter. He could be very serious, and
he could be very merry. Had she not
i seen it with her own eyes?
' "Then, Susy, I will at once say what
I I want, and, as you are bound in honor
i to give it to me, you may as well pay
I your debts at once. I claim a kiss from
you as my pay for well-doing."
Susy could hardly believe the evij
dence of her eyes.
i A kiss! the saucy audacious fellow!
i Vnr jin instant she .was indignant.
j Then her woman's wit came to the resjiue,
and the angry flash died out. of
(her eyes.
! "I will not deny that I promised yon
i a reward, Cousin Harry," she said dej
murelyj "but as I did not set any specjffied
titae in which* to pay it, I shall
I certainlr keep vou my credit for a
i while."
"Then I shall demand interest, as
| well as principal, when it is paid."
; "I have no doubt I shall find you as
; unrelenting as you are surprising. You
are really growing to be both a per
plexing and interesting study."
i " 'Varietv is the spice of life,' ac
t cording to the.proverb."
j "Well, here we are at home, so we
I must postpone our conversation until
to-morrow."
"Piease have something kind to say'
j to me when to-morrow comes, Cousin
jSusv. I don't.like to be called a 'per-I
plexing study.' "
"Then don't deserve it."
{ "Good-night, Susy." And Harry;
?! held out his hand.
But Susy did not take it. This new
j Harry must be- kept at a distance,
j "Good-iiight," she said, disappear-ling
up the dimly-lighted stairway.
Harry looked after her with a'smile
j hovering about his lips.
"What a little darling she is," he
I thought, "and how neatly she got out
'of giving me a kiss! But I'll have it
j yet. It will be all the sweeter for the
[difficulty of getting-it."
Sat after this Susy's manner chang|
*d. Instead of treating Harry with the
sisterly frankness nnil freedom which
| had heretofore characterized their ini
tereoiirse, she became as shy as a wood!
thrush.
Harry was rueful enough at the
| change. Susy seemed to him the beau
j ideal of everything that was good and
j lovely, and he feared that he had of|
fended her irrevocably.
j Had he been better skilled in the
workings of a woman's heart lie might
have drawn a different inference from
her resolute avoidance oT his society.
Time fled away on rapid wings, "and
j at last brought the day of Harry's departure.
*
l TTu 11LJ luii^ui ?I L.? ?I iiUQ MWWBB
j look which had characterized him when
he first came; but was as ruddy and
strong-looking as the veriest country
lad in the neighborhood; and he looked
handsomer than ever when he sought
Susy to bid her good-bye.
He found her in the rustic summerhfvnse.
which was her favorite resort
when she wished either to read or write
or to be alone with her thoughts.
There was a slight flush about her
eyes, which showed that tears had been
making an unwonted visit to them.
But she forced a bright smile as she
saw Harry.
He put out his hand, and with the
parting hand-clasp which he gave to
. lier cold little fingers, said:
"Good-bye, Cousin Susv, and try toforgive
me for the offer.se which has
made me such a tabooed sinner in your
eyes of late. '
"Please look upon it as a jest which
shall cot again be referred to. For if 1
have one wish dominant above all oth
a.u-4. T
CVS ID mv LUIIiUv is JL uiii-y lira
pieasantly in your remembrance."
"I shall never do anything but think
kindly .of you, Cousin Harry," said Susy
Had Hairy been' sufficiently ^master
of bis own emotions lo study Susy's
face, he would have noticed that a suspicious
quiver threatened the continuance
of the forced smile upon her lips,
and that tears were just ready to overflow
tlieir fringed boundaries.
But with this cold formal good-bye he
. expected to leave her.: So lie turned
and walked away.
When the gate clanged to, and Susy
I felt sure thst he had gone, she had no
I longer need for self-possession, and she
! t.hri>w Fiursislf forward. a.nd covered her
face with her hands, moaning:
"Oh, Harry, I cannot bear"it! I have
treated you so dreadfully, and I am.
sure I shall never, never set eyes upon
your faco ajjain. I shall never, never
see you. You will think of me only to
hate me. Oh dear, oh dear!"
Thus she ran on, unheeding what
was passing about her. The gate had
.been reopened, and Harry was hastening
back; but she took no notice, so
absorbed was she in sorrow and selfreproach.
"Susy, crying!" came from his lips
in surprised accents.
Then, with a sadden joyful light in
his eyes, he sprang "forward and exclaimed:
"Arc you sorry that I am going
away? I was too great a coward to say
what I felt, Susy, but I have come back
to risk it I cannot think of my future
"l>"* ? Will tr/Mi nrnmkfl
{ J UU du?uu 1U urn JVU
to be my little wife? I love you so dearly
that it must be you don't hate me as
you have made believe."
"Hate you! Oh. Harry," sobbed Susy;
and then and there the happy lover
possessed himself of both principal and
interest of the debt he claimed from
Susy.
How many kisses he took we dare
not say. But Susy made no resistj
ance, for was it not a just claim?
! Queen Victoria, speaking in her new
i book of an accident tli.-it ! eiull her and
jher gillie, says that alio was "much
j distressed" to find "that poor Brown's
! h??n dreadfully cut." What
; shocking1 impropriety! A well-bred
J American woman would, tramp all
around Robin Hood's barn after the
word "limbs."?Rochester Democrat.
"He's not what you call strictly handi
some." said the Major, beaming through
! his glasses on an utterly hideous baoy
[as it lay peacefully howling in its
mother's arms, "but it's the kind of
face that ctows on you," was the indignant
ana unexpected reply -of the
maternal being. "You'd bo betterlooking
if it had." :
I WOXDEItFUL INSECT EYES.
j Till ere the Gift of Sialic is Most RichI
ly Bestowed.
| Physicians call attention to the in|
creasing instances of defective or ;m|
^erfect sight occurring in civilized
countries, anil attribute it to the various
conditions of modern life?the overwork
of the eyes in childhood, the
study of books in small print, and the
habit of readiu<r by imperfect light,
i and many other causes. It appears
} certain that in tiu? matter of eyqsight
j the savage has usually the advantage
| of the civilized man. . The gift of sight
I is one voryunequaLy distributed among
' 1 ~!1 r?"i_
WU "Uiiu. uu^uv,
joy it to excess, like the eagie; others
are totally deprived of it, like the earthworm.
In many other instances the sense of
sight, if not actually lacking, is extremely
imperfect, as "in the case of the
mole. Insects are in many cases far
more richly endowed with eyes than
even birds or beasts. The little creature
called the whirl wig" ( G-yrimis natator),
which skims alcng oa the surface of
standing water, is furnished with a
double set of optics, the upper portion
of the eyes (fitted forseeing in the air)
being placed in the upper portion of the
head, and the lower portion of the eyes
(fitted for seeing in the water) in the
; lower portion of the head, a thin divist
ion separating the two.
| Spiders possess six eyes?some spej
cies eight; centipedes twenty, while
the eyes of many insects (bees, butterflies,
dragon flies) are composed of a
number of facets, each eye being, in
fact, a cluster of eyes. Dr. Hook
counted 14,000 of these facets, in the
eye of a dragon fly, and Leeuwenhock
found as many as 12,544 in another
specimen of the same species. The
latter naturalist adapted one of the
eyes of a dragon-fly so as to be able to
see objects through it by means of a
microscope, and found that he could
j view the steeple of a church 299 feet
j high and 750 feet from the piace where
| he stood, he could also distinguish if
! the door of- a house, at the same Uisj
tance, was open or shut.
Fleas' eyes diniiuish as well as mul;
tiply objects, as Puget discovered by
j penormincr a similar experiment to
th.it of Ljeuwenhock. "A soldier
! viewed through it represented an army
j of pigmies. * * * The flame of a
! thousand lamps." Blind or imperfectly
sighted human beings may think
; with envy of the beautiful provisions of
' visual organs bestowed by nature on
some of- her children; and yet many
creatures live happily with but a small
share of the blessings of sight. In
some of the insects who,possess the
largest share of visual organs some
other sense?taste, hearing or touch?
is deficient. Huber believes their sense
of both hearing and taste to be imperfect.
On the other hand, the blind earthworm
will retreat rapidly into its hole
if the light of a candle is thrown upon
it, its sense of hearing or smell warning
it of the approach of the danger it
cannot see. A bat's senses of touch,
hearing or smell are so acute that it depends
little on the aid of its eyes. Spallanzani
tested this by the cruel experiment
of destroying the sight of several
J bats and then setting them free. In
j their flight through the room they
j French naturalist, states that there is a
species of ants which are entirely blind,
but pursue the name mode of life as
their sighted brethren.?London Globe.
How to Cook Chickens and PotatoesThe
lecture at Miss Parloa's school
included the trussing and roasting of
poultry, different modes of preparing
potatoes, and Baltimore pudding with
wine sauce. The pudding was first
prepared. A cup of Porto Rico molasses
was mixed with a cup of chopped
suet, half a teaspoonful of salt and a
cud of chopped raisins. A tablespoonfuT
of cloves, one of alspice, and one
of mace, with a grated nutmeg, were
added to the dry ingredients. A cup
\oi miikt-in:.which a teaspoonful of soda
was dissolved, was now added. Finally,
three and one-half cups of flour
were beaten in and the pudding was
poured in two molds and set- in a
steamer to cook. If tlie pudding were
cooked in one mold, the lecturer stated,
it should be steamed five hours, but by
Tttifiilirwr tfio tinitt \V!1S
| \urxuxu^; vnv -
| lessened, and she whs able at - the end
l of the lesson to serve it to the class
I with a foamy wine sauce. Preparing
and trussing a chickcn for roasting occupied
a considerable time. . After the
fowl had been drawn and rinsed, the
lecturer, by deftly, cutting the slcin at
titie joint of the leg, pulled out the tendons.
She then cut the neck off near
the. body, being; careful to leave all the
skin, and also removed the tips of the
wings. These parts, with tibe heart,
liver and gizzard she laid on a platter
to be boiled for gravy. The chicken
was filled with a light," dry dressing of
a quart of grated bread-crumbs, using
the white portion of the bread, and a
half-cup of butter, which was seasoned
with a tablespoonful of salt, a scant teaspoonful
of pepper, one of. parsley, one
of summer savory and half a teaspoonIfui
of sasre. The whole was mixed
lightly. When the" chicken was filled
the wings and legs were skewered in
place and the son of the. neck was
drawn down by a skewer on to the
back. The chicken was now rubbed
with butter, dredged with flour, thoroughly
seasoned and roasted an hour
ana a quarter. It was basted, dredged
with flour and seasoned with salt and
pepper lightly every fifteen minutes
during the time it was roasting.
An interesting portion of the lesson
was the various modes given of preparing
cold potatoes. The cooked potatoes
were cut in cubes, dipped in melted
butter and lightly in flour for Duchess
potatoes, which were baked in the
oven on a greased dish for twenty minutes.
Escalloped potatoes were then
prepared by cutting cold potatoes in
thin slices, and baking them in a crcam
sauce with a layer of bread-crumbs on
top. Lvonnaise potatoes were also
cooked. "Three tablespoonfuls of butter
were put on a frying pan, and when
the butter was meltua, a tablespoonful
of chopped onion was fried in it till it
was of a pale straw-eolor, when a quart
of potatoes, cut in dice, were added,
which were thoroughly seasoned with
salt and pepper. When they were hot
a tablespoonful of chopped parsley was
- ? J 4-rrr^ wJn.
| aaaea aau tuu wnuiu cw&.cu mv ^sautes.?N>
Y. Tribune.
Mrs. Orphia Thompson, a pretty
J blonde Quakeress of twenty-three,
asked for a separation from Alexander
Thompson, who is in the leather trade
in New York. Mr. Thompson and herself
had married themselves without
the aid of clerical or legal officials,
and Alexander was not doing well by
her. The court decided that, though
h? had written to her as his dear wife
and signed himself as her affectionate
(husband, there was no marriage.
' "S
? '
*T
Drunk in a Plug Hat.
This world is filled with woe everywhere
you go. Sorrow is piled up in
the fence corners on every road. Unavailing
regret and red-nosed remorse
inhabit the cot of the tie-chopper as
well as the cut-glass cage of the millionaire.
The woods are full of disapi
pointment The c'arth is convulsed
; with the universal sob, and the roads
j are muddy with tears. But I do not
; call to mind a more touching picture
j of unavailing misery and ruin and
hopeless chaos than'the plug hat that
has endeavored to keep sober and
maintain its self-respect while its owner
! is drunk. A plug hat can stand prosj
perity,*and shine forth joyously ;while
j nature smiios. J.nat s me piavv rvuac
I it seems to thrive. A tall silk hat
i looks well on a thrifty man with a
clean collar, but it cannot stand dissipation.
'
I once knew a plug hat that had
been rcspected by every one and had
won its way upward by steady endeavor.
No one knew au^ht against it till
one evening, in an evil hour,it consent-'
! ed to attend a banquet, and all . at:
once its joyous career ended. It met.
! nntVnnir' hnt. distrust, and Cold TlBfflect
! everywhere after that
Drink seems to make a-man temporarily,
unnaturally exhilarated- During,
the temporary exhilaration he desires
to attract attention by eating "lobster
salad out of his own hat and sitting
down on his neighbor's.
The demon rum is bad enough on
the coatings of the stomach, but it is
even more disastrous to the tall hat
A man may mix up in a crowd and
carry off an overdose of valley tan in
a soft hat or a pap, but the silk hat
will proclaim it upon the house-tops
I and advertise it to the gaping, wondering
world. It has a way of getting
back on the rear elevation of the head,
or over the bridge of the nose, or of
hanging coquettishly on one ear that
savs to the eagle-eved public, "I am
chock-full."
1 can not call to mind a more power
ful lecture on temperance than the silent
pantomime of a n&n trying to
hang his piug hat on an invisible peg
in his own hull after he had been watching
the returns three years ago. I saw
thai he was excited aud nervously unstrung
when lie come in, but I? did not
fully realize it until he began to hang
his hat on the smooth wall.
At iirst he laughed in a good-natured
! way at his awkwardness and hung it
up again carefully; but at last he became
irriuued about it, and almost forgot
himself enough to swear, but con-"
trolled himself. Finding, however,
that it refused to hang up, and that
it seemed rather restless anyhow, he
put it in the corner of the hall with the
crown 110, pinned it to the floor "with
his umbrolfa, and heaved a sigh of' relief.
Then he took off his overcoat and,
through a clerical error, pulled off his
dress-coat also. I showed him his
mistake and offered to assist him back
into his apparel, but he said he hadn't
got so old and feeble yet that he
' couldn't dress himself.
Later on he came into the parlor
wearing a linen ulster, with the belt
drooping behind him like the broken
harness to a shipwrecked and stranded
mule. His wife looked at him in a
way that froze his blood. This startled
feet in'^hi^surcingle,
clutched wildly at the empty gas-light,
but missed it, and sat down in a tall
majolica cuspfdor.
There were:three games of whist going
on-^ea he fell,- .and/ there was a
good'ifeai of excitement'over the; playing,
but2fter:he.had: beenrapniled:: out
-of-the atoerSfoiElojQiftg and led away,
ererv one ofe'tlie whist-players
had 'forgotton. what the trump was.
They say- that-he-hss abandoned politics
since then, and; ""that" now he
don't <sare whether-wc hiwre- any' more
November elections^ or- not. I as^ea
him-once'STHe-would be -active during
the 1884 campaign, as usual, and he
said'he-thought not. He said a man
couMn?i aflbccfc to be c toe active in a
political campaign. Hi? constitution.
wouMn't-s-tand it
Atthaf time he didn't- care much
whether' the American people had a
President or not if every-public-spirited
voter had got. to work himself up
into a state of ncrvou? rxcitabillty and
prostration where reason tottered on
its throne, he thought that - we needed
a reform. - .
Those who wished to; furnish' rea-.
sons to totter on their thrones for the
-National Central Comnritteeatrsomuch
per tot coold do so; he, for one, <iidn't
propose to farm out his immortal soul
ana plug hat to the parly if\6K^O0O,OOO
people had to stand four years under
the administtation of a setting hen.?
Bill Nye in Puck. .
m m m
"Undo Sam/'
A contributor to the Philadelphia
Press writes to that journal: Immediately-after
the declaration jof the last:
war"with England, Elbert Anderson, acontractor
of provisions to supply the. I
United States array, visited Troy on the
Hudson, where he purchased a largo i
quantity of beef, pork, etc. The in-',
spectors of these articles at this place
were Messrs. Ebenezer and Samuel Wilson.
The latter gentleman (better known
as Uncle Sam) generally superintended
in person tho men who were employed
in packing and marking the casks containing
die provisions. . The
casks were marked "E. A?U.
S." The work of marking being done
by a facetious fellow, on being asked
by some of the other workmen what
the letters U. S. meant, said he
guessed it meant Elbert Anderson and
"Uncle Sam," alluding to the said
"Uncle Sam" Wilson. The joke took
among the workmen and Uncle Sam
being present was occasionally rallied i
j on the extent of his possessions.
jviany 01 tuesc worsiuuu uuumuu soldiers
and were soon found in the frontier
lines; their, jokes, of -course, followed
them, and before the first campaign
ended this identical one appeared
in print It gained favor rapidly
till it was rcco^nized in ever part of
our country, and will no doubt continue
so long as the United States remains
a nation.
A Dark Problem.
The question for debate at the Sewickley
Colored Club last evening was: i
"Which is of most benefit to man, the
steam engine or the horse?"
til. i ??l- ?i.;?
JLiie uursu urawt gicw paiv; wuw juxa
opponent asked, vehemently: "What
am de hoss, anyway? Nuffin but a
steam ingine. Did my learned brudder
j never see a hoss on a cold day how de
! steam comes out ob his nose? Keep
! dat steam inside an' de horse would
| bust."
"An' when we come to die," said the
horse orator, "how'd we look goin' to
de cemetery in a> steam hearse? Dat
would be puffeckly 'diculous!" This
turned the tide and the horse side won.
ri > r - ;
i . '
J PEIiCIVAL, THE POET.
j 'lie Man Who Made Webster's Die
I tionary and Died in Poverty.
When the young and accomplished
widow-of Fairfield, made the attempt
to support herself and children by the
publication and sale of Percival's poems.
the nious effort was. announced in
; an organ of the Boston literati nnder
the heading; "Bay a Broom! Bay a
| Broom!% Come Buy of a Wandering
| Bavariah a Broom!"
The gentle, sensitive Percival barely
escaped falling a victim to this mode
of-attack.. Shortly after-the first publication
of his poems and the criticisms
upon the same, he was found insensible
in a stone quarry, where he had sought
to rid himself of the brains which had
proved his curse by butting, his head
against rocky walls. His literary,
assassins represented this attempt at
self-destfipetion as the resist of disappointment'in
JoVe, but there was not an
incident connected with his social relations
to Justiiy OT;giye;CCJk>rto this conclusion,
. His- was .eminently an ethereal
nature?Mjc d without passion.
He pu?'she?i- nc more bat devoted
himself Entirely-to scientific pursuits,
I for whijch he- bad- a- remarkable;; apti
tude, until his physical necessities compelled
him to' bccomc a hack writer for
distinguished literary men of -more
practical ability. He-was the sole author,
compiler and' editor of the first
editionof Webster's Unabridged- Dictionary;
giving not only the definitions;
bat the root and history of-over 16,000
words derived from other languages,
including- all the written languages of
the worla?thirty in number?of every
one of which he must have had some
rtflfinoWnz-wiTTlo/l ?*r> 1? p irsr*} erf- in this
Iteht, ft Is the most wonderful literary
lanor ever performed by one man. No
other lexicographer ever accomplished
it Dr. Johnson was the literary won
der of *his a^e. Horace Walpole says
of hinjjf "His dictionary is a surprising
worktop one man, but sufficient examples?
in foreign countries show that
the wfri; is too much for one man, and
that afisociety alone pretend to publish
a sta&dard dictionary." Webster's
first ^iptionary was only a compilation
from standard.authorities, with the adr
ditiorfof"purely American idioms and
noitlioy nnrnnali
CfcjfiiiWjfijr, vau?u.^I- ... o :
ity n?r research, boiug adapted only to
the u^e oi schools?to the learners and
not Mi the learned?and was rejected
. as a 'Standard by thb British institmtions*of
learning on account of the
slangs phrases, with onlya local siguifocatioii,
which it attempted to introduce
into the common English language. Iri*
regard to derivative words, which comprise
so large a share of our language*
the dictionary edited by Percivul and
published in the name "of Noah Webster,
is now. adopted as the highest
standard authority by all the "universif
tics of Great Britain and America. The
great-fortune of Ifoah -Webster in life;
and'his world-wide fame as- the groats
est lexicographer of any age, are. based
solely upon the unrequited labor of
James G. Percival, who died in poverty
in a miner's cabin in Western Wisconsin,
"unwept unhonored and unsung."
,
The only remuneration which Percival
eye? received for this unparalleled
work was a bare subsistence?which
i Art v.?ar~
ing'toolJ, books of reference. That he
"lived in a garret after the manner of
the old poets," was probably true of
his student days, but when he undertook
the work of the dictionary his employers
built him a study after his own
model. It was a small building, without
window or door facing any public
thoroughfare, lighted from the top?a
sort of monkish cell in which* sucrounded
by his books, he could pursue
his labors uninterrupted by idle curiosity.
It was reported?with what
truth I cannot vouch?that this study
and the library which had been furnished
him, when he had finished the
work, were reclaimed bv his employers.
They were not nominated ~ in" the
bond.1'?Son. Beriah Br cum, in- the Seattle
(W. T.) Herald.
Matthew Arnold vs. American Culture.
We dare say it in fact makes very little
difference to most people what our English
cousins think of us :tnd our culture,
but there is no d.ouiit: that?while,
they give us full-credit f<>r our material
greatness?they rather sni-iwestimate
our finer acquirements. Mr. Matthew
Arnold is certainly a great ue.-u more
than an avexage exponent of English,
intelligence, but oven he has betrayed
considerable ignorance of American
culture. At a dinner not lon<r since, in
conversation with the lady next to him,,
he happened to mention Wordsworth,
adding in an apologetic way, that he
supposed very few A*'vricaos knew
anything of that poet. The iady, who
happened.to bo n wry good specimen,
of the vera Jmt.ica:iu, cot:Idn't quite
endure that r rt ct.on on her country
I XQCU UIIU W;Jw ?lf * "j'ltuu tv uujo
i statement, inforzninr ' irre.nt -man
[thathe-wasmistr.k u.* To Nvrtify her
assertion she siiii sue diilii*: brieve
there was a guest at th" table who
hadn't a copy of Woid.-w-- h!? poems
in his or her library. Mr. A acting
on the 'txiygetiioii. :i rotated,
each one on the sti! j Vt.. . ?? *is surprise
he learned from ;h-> r-?;>i:e.i that
1 oTOTOnno Z'thtk MrtT-i.it-ii'M-: iieran-ex~
"' v r j
ceptional one or ?mn* of :> membersfearing
to be found iivli-4- u ) c aimed
to possess thepoetV work.-. We- sayfearing;
to be found ddlic:?ut because,
under such eircumsianc an American
worthy of th?> naulo had any
doubt as to whether lu< owuett the
books, he would h.wcjrivon i itu.-elfthe
j benefit of ?it to. aid in the eon/uskm of
! the Britisher Whoshould-qu.'stion that
! any Ameriean assemblage should not
j be thoroughly acquaint, d with Words|
worth's writings. Wo say ho. met with
: an affirmative answer to his question,
j and only-wish to use the ccurrenee to
i ofttfAWAnf fV\ot nnr tru ncrJATV*.
j j^uiuu mu obabVAUvuu iui*v uu*
| tine friends do not give us credit for.
i the cultivation we really do possess.
! We would venture to make the further
i claim, and think we could support it,
j that, take our people and compare them
I class for class with the English, and?
: they will be found to have :is thorough
i an acquaintance with what is really
j best in EDglish literature as the Eni
glish themselves. We do not wish to
j talk spread-oagle too much, but think
| our cosmopolitan spirit is giving the
American people a truer and more genI
eral culture than Englishman can ever
j attain, unless they aEacdou their insu!
lar prejudice which makos them skep|
ticai of any cultivation but their own.
j ?Modern Age fur March.'
The Brooklyn Bridge Railway can
only accommodate about 6,000 passengers
an hour, and it is urged by many
that this capacity should be increased
ten timer_andjearn nearly all the bridge
t income, while toils fortiWfoot bridge
should be abolished and those of the
j carriage wavs reduced one-halt
L
Early Birds.
| In the curious lithographic slate of
; Solenhofen we have preserved for us a
great number of fossil forms with an
extraordinary degree of peri'ection; and
among these are several which help us
on greatly from the reptilian to the vaian
structure. The lithographic slate
is a member of the upper oolitic form- ation,
and it is worked, as its name implies,
for the purpose of producing
stones for the process ol lithography.
But the same properties which make
the slate in its present condition take
so readily the impress of a letter or a jsketcb,
made it in its earlier condition
take the impress of the various- organisms
imbedded as they fell1 in its soft,
mud. Even the forms- and petals of
early flowers washed .by JJoods into the
- half-formed mud bank have been thns '
preserved.for us with wonderful minu
teness. Most interesting of ali'fbr onor
present purpose, however,are the bones
of contemporary reptiles and birds
which this nature-printing rock inclines
for the behoof of modern naturalists;GneSuchreptile,:
known as compsognatisas,
may be regarded as-filling
among tktvn class" the -pi ace fllted
among pLng mammals by_rtbo ka* ;
garoo.. It was a rather, swanlikc, erect ,
saurian, standing gracefully upen its v
<hind paws* with its fore legs. free,, and
pro bablV dragging its round tail be- ,
hind it "on the ground as-a support-to (
steady its gait. The neck was lon?:
and-arched, and the head small and i
bird-like in shape, but the jaws are ,
armed- with, sharp and powerful teeth, '
as in the pterodactyls. Altogether, .1
compso^nathus must hare* looked in [
outward appearance not at all- unlike
-r such birds as the auks and the pen- j
guins, though its real structural affinities
lie rather with the emus and the- ,
cassowaries. The apteryx or kiwi of )
New Zealand, which is a bird that does ,
not fly because it has no wings worth
mentioning to fly with, approaches 1
even Nearer in the combination of both ]
points in this-very bird-like oolitic rep- ',
.tile. Even compsognathus himself, .
.however, though very closely allied to (
the true birds, cannot be held to stand 1
at an actual point in the progressive ,
pedigree, because in the very same Sol- ,
- cnhofen slates we find a real leathered ]
bird in person. Accocdingly, as the
two were thus contemporaries, the one j
coald not be the direct ancestor of the 1
other. Nevertheless, it is from some ,
form closely resembling compsogna- 1
thus that the 'true; bijrds have descend- .
ed. We have only-to suppose such a ]
reptile to acquire fOrestihe habits and ,
to begin jumping freely from-tree to ,
t:TAp in tn sf>t nrrthfl soriaaof !
changes by which a-true bird might be . j
produced. But.the first historical bird1 j
of which wc know anything; the arcb- t
. oBopteryx' of the' Solenhofen slate, still
remains in many points essentially a ^
reptile. It is only bird-likc; in two. _j
main particulars, its posscssipnof rudimentary
wingsr' and its possession of j
feathers,. From the popular point "of .
viow these two particulars are'decisive
in favor of its being considered a bird; . j
but its anatomical structure is sufficient? ?
to make it at least half a reptile; and j.
eminent an thorities^bavc" difiered (with; .
their usual acrimony), as-to whether it;
ought properly to be called abird-Uke
.saurian, or a lizzard-like bird. There
is nothing like a mere qircstion of Words
such as this to set scientific men or r
^i. >1, 'I T Tr "f
a century together.? Krom Longman'a *
Maaaz'ne. 1
The Brown-Stone P?-iod of Ar erican- "*
Architecture.
In a paper on "Old Public Buildings ^
in America." the March Qndury. Kich- g
ard Grant Whito says: "The rows of! O
unhomelite and even unhouselike <8
dweliing-places -which are generally' c
spoken of as 'brown-stone fronts*? f
phrase unlovely, and therefore most 1
fitting?may properly be regarded as i
manifestations and embodiments of the f
spirit of our domestic architecture in. J
the second and third quarters of the *
present ccntury. In them thefatuous I
frivolity and obtrusive vulgarity of that f
oeriod found complete expression. As 'J
geologists designate the various stages I
of the earth's formation as the Eocene t
and Pliocene periods, and the like, so f
we may well designate the stage of &
house-building through which we have t
lately passed?and from .which we are a
slowly emerging, but with struggles t
and lingering throes of adhesion?is ^
the brown-stone period of American: ?
architecture. How firmly imbedded t
we have been in this stratum of old t
red sand-stone, thin laminje of which t
seem to have cropped up out of our ^
soil, through on r very souls,. as veneer- f
ing to our. styiish' domiciles, may be 1
inferred from a two-part story, as dual c
as a pair of trousers, which reached I
me through two architects. c
*'A certain, very costly mansion: in a
one of the principal avenues in New 8
York was designed by its architectto ?
be built of a li^ht-colored, grayish *
stone; but the client, although he ac- ^
cepted the design, rebelled against the 1
proposed material, and insisted on hav*- t
mg his house in brown stone 'like ?
Other people.' Then another projector *
of a 'palatial mansion,' a' dweller in *
California, but a native of JJew Iork, *
astonished his architect by declaring _.t
that his house , must, also be built of '(
brown stone, although "the country' s
around' him abounds- m- stone more s
beautiful and Sn .every way better for': c
building,?assigningas: his reason that - i
he 'wanted to nave a brown-stone house t
' % AW -?Mrn**no ^v Vow I
il&U 1HU Of VU - Wl VUUV) 4.1VVV x
York,'??the elaborate structure before
mentioned; wherefore, poor building 1
material for. a-hoase in San Francisco I
was transported from New York. This <
disposition to copy New York has been 1
deplorably injurious to the architectural t
las well as to the moral aspect of the. t
;whole country." t
5
j . Sarins a Nary. , I
i "Well, since you haven't heard of it,
I will give it to you. and you may nave
it-exclusive?excepting, of course, the
Mexican newspapers. It happened ,
just this way: On January 2 the entire *
Mexican Navy was lying-at anchor in
Frontera Harbor; when there came up *
one of those terrific *northers,' or what v
-they call in Buenos Ayres the 'pam- pero.'
The Libertad, the largest of the c
Mexican warvessels, was lifted Up as 1
by a tidal wave and swept ashore, and ,
there she lay until we arrived at Fron- f
tera and pulled her offl I expect the 1
Mexican Congress will vote me an or- 3
der and other honors for my distin- %
j guished services in saving their navy. \ t
Any other vessels go asnorer wny, f
bless you, no. . I said half of the Mexi- } I
can Navy was almost destroyed, and 1
they only have two vessels.''
A Chicago journal modestly suggests )
that the celebration of the fourth cen- '3
tennial of the diseovon* of America J
should be held in that city, because it
"is the pivot city of the Uuiicd States."
Chicago is the pivot ciiy iu-the sense ,
that they get everything turned around
'there.?ifosfcw Post. *
v - ' - " '*1 "'* *** t -V- '"';--vh
A WEBSTER STORY. j
How a Lawsuit Was -Won in New
Hampshire. .
Daniel Webster was fond of a good
story, and told a few illustrating his
early life in New Hampshire. One
evening at a convivial party, where he
and several distinguished lawyers were
present, the conversation happened to
turn on the legal profession. "When I
was a young practitioner," said Mr.
Webster, 4 there was but one man at
the New-Hampshire bar of whom I was
Afraid, and that was old Barnaby.
There were but few men who dared to
enter the list with him. On one occasion
Barnaby was employed to defend
a suit for a piece of land,-brought by *
little, crabbed, cunning lawyer, called
Bruce. Bruce's case was looked .upon
a? good'as lost when it was ascertained
that Barnaby was retained against
X1UU. iue SUib VOULU UU 1UJL U.1W, OUU
Barnaby found tliat Bruce had worked
hard, and left no stone unturned to
gain the victory. The testimony for
the plain tig was* very - strong; and unless
it could be impeached, the case of
the.defendant was lo& Tits principal
witness intritouc^rirt^c plaintiff wore
a red; coat In swnningupfor the de- ;
fense, old Barnaby commenced a furious
attack on this witness, pulling his
testimony all to pieces, and appealing- ;
to the jury if a man who wore a red:
coat was. und?>r ai>y circumstances, to: |
be'believed. \\rid.wiio is this red-coat- |
ed witness?1 exclaimed Barnaby, 'but ,
r descendant of our common enemy,: |
who has striven to take from us our ;
liberty, and wou:d not hesitate now to:
deprive, my poor client of his land, by ;
making any "sort of fed-coated state- *'
mcnt!' Whilst, however, Barnaby 1
was gestionis:in;* and. leauing forward 1
to the jury in uis eloquent appeal, his^
jhirl-bosom qponed slightly, and Bruce; .1
accidentally discovered thai-. Barnaby -i
wore a red "undershirt. Brucc's conn- 3
tenance brightened up. Putting both i
liands in his coat-pocketsi he walked to
the bar wiiii great conlidence, to the ;
astonishment of his client and all look- \
ars-on. Just as Barnaby cconcluded \
Bruce whispered in th^ car of his client, j
'I've got him?your case is safe;' and,
approaching the jury, he commenced: ,
lis reply to the sijioghterinir argument ,
af Iris mlversary. -Brnec gave a regular;
history of th? xncostry of his red-coated
witness, proving his patriotism and de- <
fotion to the country, ai^d his charac:er
for trntjt and v? r ;eity. 'But what. 1
Tentiemen of the jnrv.1 broke forth 1
r> .. i t * ? 1
Druce in a jouu .-ira si oi. cioqucnce,
while his eye flashed tire, 4what are *
fou to expect or :i man who stands here J
? d? fend a fcitase tuwed on no foiuadaaonot
right or j notice whatever; of a
nan who uaderu&es todestcoy our tes- j
imony on .the croirnd that.my witness t
vears*a red coat,, when, gentlemen of* r
;he jcry?when, when, when, gentle- t
nen of the .Jury!' [iiere Brace made a
ipring,fand, catching Banraby by the-; g
)osom of tue shiru tore it open, dis- s
jlaying Iris red flahnel], 'when Mr.> e
3srnaby;- himself wears a red flannel a
5oait'concealed Hinder a blue one?' The j
iffect was electrical; Bamaby was',
eaten at his own game, and Brace
rained the causc."
> ? ? I
j Oi!jr KecoHections, .; '
r~ - S
Mr. Drape, the1 real estate broker,
ead ?pjgeron oil prodngjfcn and con-.
ttrLn. if ?o <% . er>hr/?fi rtf .TjrrtnH^rfnl I ^
' IVlIiiV iu %? OVUIVO VA - * ; .
evenue to the judicious operator, it is
X the same time a rapidly depleting 8
Dree to the bonk balance of the novice. .
?he origin of petroleum is involved in 1
greater obscurity than the origin of ?
oat Some contend that it is a sub- ^
tance of organic origin; while others v
Iaim it is of a mineral origin. The d
iist oil company of which we have any 1
-nowiedgeearisted in Yenango county
l 1829. A couple-of men gathered a ?
ew barrels of oil from Oil creek, and, 1,
>rocurin? a horse and wagon, began ?
ending It inrougnuui'iue uuu.uujr as a rii
aedicine. The name was derived from I p
teiro a rock; and oleum, oil, or rcok oil f
ihe Egyptians recognized its valus 1700 (
I C. On one of the Ionian islands
here is an old fountain that has flowed .
or over 2,000 years: General Hays n
tates that in 1806 he purchased the en- n
ire product of the Franklin region, ^
.mounting to sixteen barrels, ana re- *
ailed it in this city at $1 per gallon. ^
Chis was probably the first corner in
iiL In 1846 Lewis Peterson, Sr., ^
>rought a sample bottle of petroleum
o this city from his salt well at Tarenum.
He, Morrison Foster and David F
Lnderson experimented with it and "
ound that itcosld be made an excellent ?
abricator. It wa3 used in the Hope 0
otton factory for ten years, the pro- 1
>rietors being the only ones cognizant c
if the fact. The Pennsylvania Rock P
)il Company was formed in this year, 1
md experimented in the neighborhood 0
>f Titusriile. On August 28, 1859, oil
n large quantities was first discovered, s
Che first cargo was brought down on ?
he steamer Venango in 1860 by Cap- y
ain Reynolds. The cargo was readily t
lisposed of at 32 cents per gallon. This j
deky venture stunded the keynote to i
he oil interests in Venango- and other I
aunties, and the entire district was r
hrown into a blaze of excitement Oil 1
2ity, Fithole, Tidioute and other cities
prang up with mushroom rapidity, 0
aid Oil creek became the centre of "0
:easeless-activity. The first oil carried a
icross the Atlantic was in I860, and $
akenover by_a canny Scot in homeo- ]j
>athic doses. The traffic lias increased. ?
o such an extent that now several a
lundred vessels are engaged in trans- {
jorting it across the sea. In 1861 the s
ixports amounted to 80,000 gallons,
yhile in 188$ the shipments amounted '
o over 492,000,000 gallons. During ?
he past twenty-five years, the raw ma- ;
erial has fluctuated in price from 41
sents to $20 per barrel, with an aver- ?
ige price of $2,-50 per barreL?Pitts- ?
rurg (Commercial Gazdte.
The Hare and Chipmunk* ?
tr? " Qttr) ^
iare, when the were after him,
o the Chipmunk, who begged that he a
eould stop and crac k a nut of gossip ?
pith him; "but' if you will take my *
lace and let mc have yours, so that I
an overlook the country, I'll stop and j ?
est awhile.." * . I
"All right," said the Chipmuak, jc
ioppin<r down from the tree. with a ant a
"V. ? -I' 1 ..S.W h?
D'CUB liWUbij* i ?A; .U vt *>o wioucu iv *
ee a March hare. But you are not a
err mad one* arc you?" 11
4'Ob,.not'1 replied the Ka:? rinning;
I've all my wits about mc, ..s yon wul i
>resently perceive." And at, that mo- fi
neat the do^s burst through the boshes I
md pounced upon the poor Chipmunk, I
eho exciaimcd with his last breath: x
'What a line thin^ it-is to-be smart! g
That gray Hare will never go down t
nth sorrow to the grave."?XL Nichcb v
oj, for March. . p
J J * s:
Johnny,rMorris, of Eminence, Ky^ t'
inly ten. years of age, weighs 117 Ig
eimds. _ 11
i .
%
<
WIT AND HUMOSp
when Winters fcroeze
Denudes the trees
And nature settles down to freeze; - When
round the door . . '
The wild winds roar ' -?
And- cold comes through the craved old
Our friends forget to shut the door.
?Oil CUy Blizzard. . . ; v sj
Elgin, HI, has a butter ring. Next f. S:%3?
thing we know we shall hear of a. napkin
ring, or dinner-bell ring.
Teacher?"What happens* when a
light falls into the water at an angle ot }, sagas
forty-five degrees?" Pupil?"It goes
out. "?Der Scftalk.
"The city must put its foot down on
such corruption, shrieks an excited
contemporary. But it can't, yon know,
Corporations have no soles.?Life.
A woman in.San. Francisco has been
appointed to the. position of conductor
on a line of horse-cars. At last the
*'dream - of "fare' woman!' is realized.
iieap year is a good time to engrave
indelibly upon the hearts of thejoung ,
men that much misery is caused "by not
sayiag "no" at the right tame.?Buffalo
; At the coming feajg^^ b^some of
the ladies propose t^fern-a liveinouse , ?
'oose in the room, just to see. the "poor.
jmid gentlemen jump up on the cnairs
and squeaL
A Nashville 'man was' fined $800 for
kissing a school-teacher. If it hadn't *
been for two or three of the scholars
who caught them at it she wouldn't K
have charged him a cent.
A burglar who has climbed up to a
garret window on a ladder is arresteel
by a voice shouting, "Hello, there;
rtrbat do you want?" "May I ask you ~
[or a glass of fresh water?"
When a youngs woman is in love she
Lurns to the poet's corner-fiiston picking
up the local j>a$er. After she is
Harried she turns'first tathe advertisements
of the dry goods stores.
Ladies imagine tnat rouer-sjarting is . : -g
i fine- way to workoff superfluous fleshrhe
- belief seems well founded. - One
^oung lady dropped 127pounds at the
ring recently,, and dropped.it hard.
A sewing-machine agent was-recent*
y attacked by a fierce catamount near
\?ilford. Strange as it may appear,
;he catamountreseaped without buying - ?
>rie of the machines.?Philadelphia Call.
"Sagacious," said Mr. Griph, "why
hat dog of mine was the most proud,
loble and sagacious dog that over
iyed! Why, when anybody was lookng
he'd pretend not to Imow mes."?Boston
Post.
Patti, they say, is an inveterate onionlater.
If we have ever said anything
igainst Nicolini, we take it back. How ,
rue it is that one-Twit.the world cloes '
tot know what, the other .half has torgo
hrougn with.
Sometimes I get discouraged,'" .
igned Parson Jones; "for aught r eam
ee men are as bad as ever. "How!Vi;r,"
he continued.. "if they- should
ill become perfect, I don't know what n
should do for a living." 1
They do say that the photograph of
, ^olor^do Senator got mixed into a - ;f " }
>ack of cards in use at a game In
Washington and wasn't noticed for
ight hands, everybody -playing it for
he J ack of spades.?Bostor, FosL
, There is an old'man. in Clay County,
JiutijT putt Ajil} fij ^ -
tame of Alexander Gumbleton RtdSe^
on Scuffieton.Oberda Whittleton Southnhall
benjamin Franklin Squires.
The average, citizen wants the cMmleys
in his house plastered inside and
ut to make them fire proof, and yet
ie empties ashes into a barrel in the
roodshed and ejects Providence to- V '
louse on the water-in case of fire.? *
Teircii Free Press.
Pa, what are all these men doing?'* '
'That is whore the hotel burned down
ast night, my son." "Bat what.are
hey digging up the ashes everywhere
or? Dpthey expect to find anything,
a?" "Yes, my sou, they are; looking
or the clerk's diamonds."?Louism&
Icuricr-JoumaL
A girl out-westis said to have refused ,
telegraph lineman three times in as
iany" months because he was "too
inch of a wanderer?he wandered
rom 'pole to pole' and from 'climb to
limb, and if he should come home
e'd be so 'insulate' that he'd make
ne's hair stand up straight and there'd
e no end to 'batterjes and crossies.'" ^
Footprints of men and women, suposed
to have been left on the harden-v
ng-soil fifty thousand years ago, have
sen discovered in Nicaragua. Those
f the women are distinguished from
hose made by the men by the freqnen
y with which they wheel-about and
Kunt in the opposite direction when
heir owners turned around to see what
ther women didn't have on. .. #
The man who is poor puts on lots of
tyle, and pretends he is rich, while .
he man who lays away thousands every
ear says he is losing money, and ex- ..
iects to go to the almshouse shortly.
7h.is accounts for the hotel clerk wcarog.
a huge diamond, and the "bondLading
statesman going around in
eady-made clothes that don't fit himr
ooking sadly in need of a hair cut ; .
A little girl-in school being asked the
ither day. by a member of the Board
f Education, "Who make our laws?- . ?
aswered, 44Congress." *rAnd howis ^
t divided?" asked.the gentleman^ The
? - .-3 ^ 1J. -
Lttie giro, nesnatea, uui many wuu;
'Into civilized, half-civilized, and sav- .
ge, sir."" "Very good, " said the gen
leman; "butI ao not seewiry you
hould have hesitated in your fepfy^5
"Will you be home to dinner?" askd
a Chicago woman of her husband
s he was about starting for business.
UTo, I think not," he answered. "I
crpcct to be very busy; Besides, a new
aloon is to be opened just around the
orner from my olfioe,.and'I"wni drop
a there and get a little ireelnnoh Well,"
said his wife, while a wave of
?* "?KA AAfafnl
car SWttpb OCIV33 UC1 MV NAUV4U4 .
Lot to get hurt in theTask."
It was a fireman's parade, beaded by r-m
, brass band. As they tamed the cor- ,
ler Gns Caesar, who was holding up a
itching-post, spelled out the letters,
E. P-l-u-r-i-b-u-s TJ-n-u-m,'1 painted
n the head of a big drum, ^ow, "ake,
now, wha-what's that?" ho asked
i a lank negro standing under the
wiling with Jjiis mouth open.. "Don't
er know nuffin?" was the reply.
Can't yer reaa." usi i ae name 01 xne
aan wot made dc drum.?Life. ' ^
Says the New York correspondent of
be Detroit Free tress: "Trnsr thing is -Tip
oing too far. We began .with English
Lvenes on our coachmen; then we got
inglishways andhabitsinto our clubs";
text came coaching in the regular En;lish
style; after that an inxititkm. of
be gait and make-up-of English nobs; re
have had English books and English
(lays till we can't rest; our social uptarts
want to be Engiish in eretything
hev da and now. "hansrit! hero we are
up fogs in the English style,