The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, March 19, 1884, Image 1
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WINNSBORO, S. C., WEDI^ESBAY, MABCH 19, 1884. /_ " r - I
. ' ' m. t . ^ rj*3|
" 1 j?' ** <
Nothing to Lose.
philosopher tells me that free from all care
Is the man who Is penniless, homeless, and
bare,
Unbound by the tics of relation or friend
No poeftien Co-boid and no-rights to defend;
From onr common anxieties being: thui
t ' freed,
I Haying- nothing to lose, he is happy indeed.
Ho may wander at ease through tho busiest
?**" streets.
With a smile at the carc-worried crowd thai
v he meets.
And'in thought on his neighbor's pofcscsatoM
M regale,
Wk' While no worries perplex him, no trouble!
DA assail;
I Of all doubts and depression his mind must
be clear? ;
Having nothing to lose, he has nothing tc
fear.
. * I have pondered a while on the words of my
' friend.
At a loss to perceive where their meaning
might tend.
For I wondered in troth bow the man could
be blest ?.*
Who was minus the gifts of which all are ii
quest.
But at last So my full comprehension'til
shown ' -" I
That he sneaks not of worldly powessfcri
t aiooeu
For 'tis so with our hearts, when life's stim
mer is past,
? And the ways of the world are conformed tc
atlastr
Tben secure In tbo wisdom so hsrdly1 ac.
- Gibed*
f ' 8S ^e ,have nothing
_ ?&ut \&A-&Vs^mBatzte ^ftSbbie^
ta^^^^y^c?dsts it ne^^-stirely
^ ^ ?*M,tO>wy\r\^n^7t K?tVff
r- ?Wn tarter^' w^t^iiowaeswmfeiBirtislIy.
- ' .ooiaioa "B?^g
il-wusapoa-fee. d
irtaTft itim tmrr n."
whciu^mi<ihiag:^.o^ariTt -RpWlfes1
resolved not to^do^ J^nuups^&toed
<?4lfe*a?3b& Ibisg^i 133&& S?8S* the
a*V
withyou^Iie replied, with a glance
-- at the butler.
r~ , "Tou may leave us Bowles," said I,
and he withdrew accordingly, althoi&h
~ ~ Jr am bound to say, very Tin willingly.
The thought flashed across mo Bke
lightning, "Bowles has something jta
fear from this man's disclosure," and
^ the'next words of my visitor confirmed
P me in the suspicion. .
"I am a member of the detective police
forced' said he. "and I came to
warn you that there is something wrong
In your house." .
. **JJothing to do with my plate, 1
-t hope?" said I with considerable anxiety-/
- "Very much to do with it, sir," re r
turned he grimly. "There is a tfiiel
harbored here and by this time to-morrow
you will not have a silver spoon
in your possession, unless I find -him
^ V. out* I must see every soul you hive
' ;got under your roof."
"A thief!" said I; impossible, ]
never have even so much as a strange
waiter. That butler has lived with me
T for ten years, and my two footmen
* even longer. I will answer for titeii
; . honesty. 1
Let me see 'em sir; that's all ]
r*.-? want" was the decisive reply.
"It is not Bowles?" said I, appeal
' ingly; "don't say it's Bowles; but, although
it agitated me beyond measure
to think that I should have to trusi a
; " . new bntler with all my plate, I confess
; that I had a horrible idea that it wa*
\". Bowles.
"I think not,'* said the detectivc
quietly. "Let me see the other men.'
[ ' 1 turned the gaslight over tiio door j ai
Kt* bisrh as it would go, and called them
* into the halL '
_. "It is not them," said he. "Whal
other men have you in the house?"
r"None but my guests," said I; "hen
in the room."
"Do you know them all very well,
t sir? Are none of them mere acquaint
ances or neighbors?"
| 4Weiy> ifiturned I with ^sito^n
" }j; ^^nlmusi ^ihem-r.' . ^
r -uusigw;# yo^n^wK.
T^TfaY ixiade oie ipd Sot sil ore?; ios stall 1
-vrasEot going to nm any risk witi
' -sfcj^-shape&^a^e** Sfcjoi
1 Knkey I nc^remembei^lsui: expressf.~
it seemed a very base thing to opei
jfjggr^r- the dining Toom and let this felloe
L^% V ,, *cratnrizenxy" guests, in hopes to find?
K. >5;. jr scoundrel among them.
? ? -- "- '- i>V- n -_?j -r .,i>- rv_
5T~ - : -feat- "Upon my me, saia 1, -m
tectxre,. I can't do it.1'
"Very right, sir?very natural," replied
he. smiling in his quiet way. "?
^PPr^ would never do, would it? But, lool
you, sir; fm a waiter, a hired waiter,
r Who is ta know that I have not bus:
ness at year side-board. In one minufc
I could run my eyes over the whol<
bk lot, and spy my man if he's there."
I dipnoi like even this arrangement
but sending for Bowles I arranged
&> * with him the plan of the proceeding
and then returned to the oining-roon!
After a period of anxiety no measur
tig} . -of time could indicate, the suppose
waiterTGOk hls departure,
f ? "You've got "a new man I see,1
??'' Jir Twktln MtwlfWJilT- "With a
jnuch plate about; I hope you are satis
fiedabout'his honesty. "
I was exceedingly glad to find ol<
Tvrlstla was honest, and had not beei
* 'Jg taken by the shirt frill, and walked oi
toBw^eet, bat oi coarse I did no
ISpr ' "Please sir, yoa Are wanted, again,1
yfeg 'Whispered Bowles as he brought h
?i^not&erboUle 0f claret. l onca mor
w -sought tbe inspector _
"The one I am after is not among
them, sir, as far as I know," observed
' this official jerking his thnmb in iho
direction of the dining-room. "Are
you sure there are no other men in
| your house besides those I have already
seen?"
"Yes," said I, "there are no more."
"Then 1 must now have a look at the
ladies."
1 "The ladies!" cried I, aghast at the
i proposal "You don't want to go in
the drawinz-room?"
i - -.X _ if
"It would oe more satisiactory, wui
served tho detective, coolly. "My information
is very reliable. But at all
' events, who is there?"
r "Well," said I, "my wife is there for
one; jovl have no information against
r her, l suppose?"
I ne nocaea sausiucuoa so iar.
"Then there's the honorable Mrs.
1 Matcham and her daughter."
t "Safe," rejoined the detective, checking
them off on his lingers.
1 "Mrs. Twistle, of Regalia Square,
- and Lady Bobbington."
"I suppose they're all right," re-,
marked my inquisitor, doubtfully.
. "Are you sure there are no more?"
"There's my mother-in-law, and she
' is in her own room, and exceedingly
. uri well"
"Very good," observed the detective,
inconsequentially. "There is &
plant somewhere in this house, how
ever; you may take yoar oath of that,
an<i in the last ulace YOU would ever
look for it; so now I mast see the
maids."
I was foil of suspicions that die detective
himself was a "plant1' that
1 would soon blossom into a burglar;
1 but my overtaxed mind refused to bear
this burden. If it was so, I would trust
to his clemency, to leave me a silver
fork or two to carry on the business of
life. If this man turned out to be anything
less than what he described himself
to be, all authority henceforth
would lose its effects with me. He had
L r 4. '
CO repeat, "so now x musi* a do uis
maids," in his undeniable manner, before
I could collect myself sufficiently
to lead the way to the kitchen. To say
1 - ihe cook and the kitchen-maid stared
- at the phenomena of our presence, is
' to underrate their power of vision.
"Now, J dare say you have no eharnrrvman
?iht tamnnmrr occiefjqnt;
' my good lady, even on any occasion
like the present," observed my com1
panion urbanely; "but you and this
young woman do all the work yourselves."
That's true, sir; we don't mind
hard work now and then," returned
the cook, tossing her head; "and besides
I don't like strangers in my kitchen*"
added she with meaning, "es"
peciallv when Tm busy, and would
rather have their room tnan their company."
The detective's tongue was
suencea oy my aomesuc neeiue-guu,
1 and be retired much discomfited I
| led the way to the nursery, he walked
admiringly from cot to col
1 "Chanaing children," observed he,
with a familiar nod (1 thought)-toward
the under nurse. /'It's neither of them,"
he added in a low whisper
"You're got a thousand or two 1 sap1
pose?"
1 The housemaids were inspected, and
pronounced to be free from suspicion.
"But I cannot have seen everybody,1 *
he said decisively.
"Yes," said .X "everybody except
1 Mrs. Maqueecby."
1 ^FViend of the family?" inquired the
detective, with a dissipated air.
"Well," said I, "I might almost say
so. She came to us not only with the
best of written characters, ant my wixe
' had an interview with her late mistress,
> a Mrs. Ogilvie, who pronounced her a
, perfect treasure; and we ourselves
- have found her all that could be wished."
"I should See to see the perfect
? treasure," quoth the detective, smiling
grimly; "we often find them to be the
' very people we want."
"Nay," said I, "but in this case your
1 suspicions are quite groundless; Mrs.
1 Maqueechy is a superior person, and
takes an interest in us, which you selfln/l
in a r1/vmoclir? BTPflnt.
> UViU UUU AAA ?*
> years of service. Besides, she is my
> mother-in-law's sick nurse, and most
t likely they have already made their
' arrangements for the night It would
be a pity "to disturb them."
[ "I must see Mrs. Maqueechy," re
turned my companion gravely. "She
' seems ^altogether too charming to be
? missed."
t "You detectives are clever fellows,''
t replied I with irritation; "but you often
i spend your time very fruitlessly. It is
t a pity that a man can't be determined,
and yet avoid being obstinate. How>
ever, since you have gone so far, you
' shall go through with the business.1"
> With that I knocked at the door,
i and, admitted to the sick-room, informed
briefly of what was taking place;
t while the invaluable Maqueechy retired
with her usual delicacy to the dressing
> room. Perhaps I spoke a little too
loud?for that Mrs. Maqueechy could
. stoop to eavesdroping, it is hard to be- |
I lieve?bat at all events that intelligent
woman mast have possessed herself of
the substance of what I related, for
when I opened the door to admit the
officer, I found her already outside,
* and in his custody. She had endeavor*
ed to escape through the second door
" of the dressing-room?"bolted like s
rabbit," said the detective?but had
I ma into the very danger she would
Save avoided, and there she was with
1 a couple of handcuffs over her neat
p mittens.
"We know one another very well,
I me and Mrs. Maqueechy," observed
* the detective grimly, "I was told I
> ahnnld find an old friend in this house.
* although I had no idea who it would
be until you mentioned Mrs. Ogilvie.
1 She is very charitable, she is, in get
[ting.her fellow creatures, situations in
1 respectable families where there hapr
pens to be a good deal of plate. It was
k this verr night that this good lady
here had engaged to open your front
* door to her nttsband and a friend of
' is who keeps a light cart in the mews
* yonder. Being a sick nurse, yon see,
nobody would be surprised at her being
: about the house at all hours. Wasn't
* that your neat little game, Mrs. Ma
* iqueechy?"
* *'Weil, I suppose- it's a nine-year
J touchH" observed that lady with philosophic
eoolnoss. . ?_
_ "Well, fm afraid it is* ma'am; since
L ^atr^ther iittte imsiaess fe-K felton
' IBrothors'siill remains unsettled. Gooi^
S^^S5- yott see i?rs* M. aga*3
^^^^^5an_d the ^zneaatiino you
r fcti^sie&^j&rse; for josr jBother-in^SSS?&&:
- _
1 y-. i -,s.O"* .?.? .. . '
t Lt?rvyfyr?ay- : Jft.
. pptwgm wo: nnwwi, k- V .
Coffee and Tea.
Perhaps the most brilliant address
which has jet been delivered at the
Parks Museum since the evening lectures
have been inaugurated was that
given by Dr. G. V. Poore on quite recently.
Sir. Henry Thompson occupied
the chair, and among the audience
were to be seen Dr. Russell Reynolds,
Mr. Berkeley Hill, Professor Cornfield
and other distinguished medical men.
The subject chosen by the lecturer was
"Coffee and Tea." After stating his
belief that stimulants, both alcoholic
and alkaloidaL had their uses, and
that we ot?ght to be very sure of our
ground before we attempt to override
appetite by dogma?as the Mohammedans
had done?Dr. Poore proceeded
to contrast "Coffee with Tea." The
cup of coffee, provided it were genuine,
contained more alkaloid stimulantthan
the cup of tea, and, owing'to the absence
of tannin,, the; action of coffee
was more rapid than tea. The specific
gravity of a cup of tea, was about 1.008;
that of strong coffee 1.009, and a ca/eaiir-lait,
sweetened, 1.035. Tea was
more of a tmre beverage than joffee.
and hence it was impossible to use it
as a mere luxury, for it required scarcely
any digestive effort, and did not
"cloy" the palate.' The danger of excessive
tea drinking Jay mainly in the
large amount of astringent, matter:
This was a most potent cause of dys- *
pepsia among women of the seamstress
class, who frequently consumed tea
which had been boiled When the
system stood in need of a stimulant,
there was nothing equal to & cup .of;
strong coffee; and if it were desired to
win a drunkard from his spirits, a real
stimulant must be supplied, and not
the sickly, bitter, unwholesome stuff
which was called "coffee" in this coun*:
..j?-?1_~ j
try. in oruer uj muKe gwu uuuee we
berry must be fresh-roasted and
ground. There was no difficulty whatever
in roasting coffee, and this ought
to be part of the daily routine of every
well-regulated household. It was important
to use enough coffee; one and
a half to two ounces to a pint of water
made a first-rate beverage. Elaborate
coffee-machines for grinding were by
no means necessary. If the coffee required
for breakfast were put into a
common earthenware jug over night
and cold water poured upon it, it might
be heated to the boiling point in the
morning by being allowed to stand in
a sauce-pan of water over the fire.
Violent ebullition was thus avoided,
and the aroma was not thus removed.
Chicory and other allied bodies are in
no way substitutes for coffee, for they
possess no stimulant properties. Out
of ninety samples of ground coffee purchased
in London shops only five were
said to be genuine.?Lancet .. .
AUV1W W OVICjfMVAM
Nobody cares for the swearing of an
hab;cnal swearer.- His volleys of profanity
have no terror in them. They
mean nothing. It is the man who sever
awears.who scares. yon oat of your
boots if cnccia a lifetime he does swear.
So far as we can learn Washington only
swore once during the eight years of
the revolutionary war. Bat that one
time counted. It tnrnea back the tide
of retreat, changed a ronte into a vie-;
torv, and made things' hum.- But the
fellow who swears on-all occasions, and
swears hot and cold with the same month,
the intellectual panper who
ekes oat his barren supply of ideas; with
an abundant crop of profanity, whose
conversation is a lon<* chain of mill
privileges, and who talks as a beaver
works; Ms swearing -is weak, tiresome,
dismasting. So, if yoa want to swear
with any effect, my boy, be very seldom
about it Be exclusive in your,
profanity. If you can't get along without
it bring it oat occasionally lie the'
rare old family diamonds,; don't keep
'-in. j?iru.?
ic running six or eigns uuu? ? uaj ii&a
the.kitchen hydrant.
And?you won't be offended, my son
?but if you will observe closely you
will perceive that young men, boys,
fledglings of about your age, swear
more than men?more frequently,more
awkwardly,with less point and direction.
A man becomes ashamed of it
It belongs to the cigarette and matinee
period of life, my boy. It is & habit
that flourishes in the bread-and-butter
days, along somewhere between the
high-school and college, and while the
Mha rihhon on tha-dinloniA is bright.
It belongs to what Fuck, so aptly calls
the "nasalted generation;" the fresh
young men. So put it away and put
on manly airs. \
I know some good men, some of the = ;
best in the world, who will confound it" i
and even dog-gone it, and even in New
England a deacon has been known under
a terrible strain to *'condemn." .
"Bnt as & mlp_ mv son. don't do it.'
Do^t swear. It isn't an evidence of
smartness or worldly wisdom. Any
fool can swear. And a good many fools
do it I, my son? An, if yon could
only gather up the -useless, uncalled"
forv ineffective swears 1 have dropped'
alongtbep$thi^ay of my-life, I know '
I would remove, stumbling-blocks from
many inexperienced feet; and my heart'
would be lighter by a ton than it is*
to-day. But if you.are goin<* to be &fool
just because other men nave been* *,
nay son* jvhat a hopeless fool, you will '
be.?cB.- JT BurdeSte. ' - - ?
-T-no?- Wh?t TTa Wnntftd.
4Say, mister,, ain't you the orator
man what made a speech to us yister-..
day?" asked a country bumpkin of a
Newman politician a.few days ago. "I
have that honor," was the reply!
"D'ye remember what ye said?"
"Well, no?yes, I remember the substance
of iny remarks. But why doyou
ask?" .
"Why, you safd that you made the
welkin ring, aud Fve tried all over
town to get one big enough fur Mariar's
finger, and there ain't any big enough,
ana I thought as how I would, come to
yer shop and git ye to make her one of
them thar welkin rin^s. She's a stunner,
and it'll take' lots of welkin to
make one big enough fur her."?New
? 7?# i
Titan J.7U*cjKrr?Miin~
Babies.
Speaking of babies brings to mind a
lovely Christmas card I bare seen-r-a
baby s. photograph;., the little dimpled
face exquisitely tinted, surrounded by.
a wreath of berried holly and mistletoe^
and underneath the words, "We send
you the^only flower Jack Frost has left
us." Jtiow a woman a neart goes out.
to a baby! The most frivolous young
girl will stop, in the; street to kiss a
pretty baby's face under a blue or scait
let hood; and nothing pleases a young
auntie or an elder sister so well as to
lavish embroidery on_a tiny, cashmere
cloak or Mother Hubbard, dress. Even
bachelors are not so hardened as is
supposed towards: the "well spring'of
joy. Only the baby*s cry opsets them.
It strikes consternation to the manly
heart No matter how valiant, be becomes
helpless as a sheep whenever
the baby he has rashly taken begins to
; show that it possesses lungs.'
The Gay Head Indians.
The Gay Head Indians- inhabit the I
recently incorporated town of Gay * x
Head (brought into notice by the wreck +
of the Columbns), on the westerly end _
- * *-*- - -i ( *
01 IXH3 vounLy 01 xsu&es, niuw w
braces the whole of the island of Mar- -*
tha's Vineyard. This Indian town has t
an area of about 2.400 acres, which is
divided into 1 }?-< peninsulas, N&sha- ?
quitsa, SquijM. -i, and Gay Head. ?
This town is n .severed from the ?
rest of the island by Menemsha pond. f
j" At. the present time there are about 200 s
! Indians at Gay Head, and unlike many
other remnants of Indian tribes in the *
Commonwealth, they have for a few '
years past been gradually increasing in r
numbers. There are about fifty famil- *
ies, and the people here have been a
marked through a series of years for v
seeking more profitable sources of income
tnan their isolated situation natu- i
rally afforded, and some of 'them have y
achieved some distinction as efficient ^
masters of vessels. iThe morals, education
and marked indications of civilized
advancement among- them are so
striking that they, attract attention v
among those who chance -to visit their j
sequestered island home. if
there is a spot in all Hew England |
where a recluse might wish to find per- ^
petual repose, free from the troubles j
and anxieties of life, Gay Head Is the
placc, and yet the Gray Headers are ?
quite jealous of the influence and ap- Q
proaches of foreigners, having had a Q
food deal of trouble with those who c
ave married some xd their daughters u
&nd settled among them. * j
Formerly any member of this tribe "at x
Gay Head could take up, fence in and
improve as much of the land as he ?
pleased, and when inclosed it became _
his own. It might very naturally be j|
inferred that such a state of things v
would engender many disputes -and ^
quarrels, but such was not the case. ^
Such a state of things was a kind- of ^
"imperium in imperio," not conducted ^
by any code of laws except bone and ^
muscle of those taking up the land./ *
The Gay Head Indians are a mixture of ^
the red, white and black races, and
- ? * ? *
meru is, ww, DUUIC v LIUUUMIU UIWU ^
among them, and also Portuguese and. n
Dntch; for listen, here are some of the ^
names among them, to-wit: John Ran- n
dolph, Madison, Corsa, Sylvia and ^
Vanderhoop. Through the intermarrying
and the coming in of foreigners it* ^
has almost pushed out the purely In- _
dian names. They are, on the wholo, a
a moral, a frugal, industrious and tern- &
perate people, and are quite equal in ^
these respects to white people, with. ^
similar surroundings.?Boston Post. ^
m 1 * ; a
Not Born, to be Hanged. u
It is probable that John Boyle was ^
born to be hanged, but, like Greenwood ?
and Phipp . he declined to be present ^
at the hanging. His crime was the' 61
shooting of an officer of General Wis- jjj
tar's command, placed over him during ^
the late civil war. When General
tar was approaching Richmond in the"TV
early part of 1864 he had a pian laid to
capture the rebel capita}, set free the
prisoners in Libby Prison; seize-Jeff Da-j g
vis, and burn the bridge over the James hi
Pnra*- ' nlsn'ms.tnnilorf Htr OnmA U
U1T04*,/- AU?V m*j WflMW U
one.giving' information to the enemy. n
ffow: the rebels-learned of Wis tar's ex- fc
pedition was never known with cer- b
tainty, bat & prisoner taken shortly af- f<
terward declared that a man giving his. ti
name as John Boyle had been captor- 0
cd, nearly dead from exhaustion and h
exposure, who had given them intelH- ri
gence of Wistar's plans. John Boyle ^
recently wrote his New York relatives b
that he was employed in the Crested ?<
Butte mine, where the recent explosion s<
occurred, and the belief is that Boyle jj
is one of the victims. The exposure of %
Wistar's plans thwarted one of the ^
most brilliant and important, move- $
mcnts of the war.?Detroit Free Press, fc
First sight of the Caspian Sea. tl
One of the most singular mental
fects I noticed on myself was that
produced whenever I walked on the *
quay, and saw the large fleet' rocking .
in the port. Shelley's Alastor had .
from early youth haunted toy memory,
and given me the impression that the
Csspiairwas' a weird, half-ideal sea, F
olinMo tonontoH hr thn nKnsta rA I 5r
nil'U OUV1VL7 wuuuwvvi WJ ?,
deadempires;; witha eoaat which was ^
crar ??fli tho^iazei'of^wbetTial twl- ?!
Bgh^^w^f^sg&pwffissafe^fcuch ?
& part it islta mB^?stern shore, but J
at Balm tha'Ca^istt^eonveys no such ?
Id'e^^Sqaare-rfeged-jships ride at an- "
7Aor_T^scot'esj^^ port js_busy with
whefe?&?4?& -sail- bo?te v b?1ing hither" ?
fcD3*,*bBther,'an& ^arpwlieavBy-KpaiTed .
steamcfrs^liT? hjmdrfcdlfc one thousand
terns are constantly entering and v
leaving, the-docks; The only pecoliaritjr^&tdistingxiishes'theso
-sbipj from' ,
those trf other seas-as-' /the^Tfe; ifliich **
camed ine hack tpnay ^^IxkkL Two- ?j
top-sail schooners -w=fth -*ery * rakish ,,
Shed laStogeSher iike vessels- common ?
elsewhere thMy^fiVe years ago, but not
Soriger^mnse except on the Caspian.
BngAn^aes, with a Srmall topsail on
the mainmast. sloops '^ith a square
^6be ^ ii*'l li T li aefc?riiaBfejiwg' iashions] .&
eBf ta v^a^^as-nxy r^Kaa^is^with" K
&py other ?<*a; wWcfe- ^ ztf ifteij ^resh ^
nor -saJt, aid also cmbys 'freak of ?>
fyiag oyer owe handretf -Seet below the u
level 6f thib oc ea^^M^thcUiain. . tl
' A Hartford Boy's Bead Sare Bete. ^
?? .a
'- For several monifcs ^Messenger, the fc
dr^^igty^ii^ t\
It. is'a-good match, but he'failed to see' a
&f % ce^ttw^wshby aeefle^so many ft
. Vinirfn^.# Mt^AVlf Wv?>i " 5o an- at
(tu< I M**J ? V. ? - ? ? ?^
pri-ciate-the ^>oiDk it must be noted that b
the box has twolriciaohsides, on which h
alonethe match wHl ignite. The other fc
day the clerk asked the boy what use f(
;he made of the matches and clicked g\
thofollowing: "Well? soar, f buys them ti
"matches ana I ^taYes that thing off b
(pointing to the igniting strip) and a
pins it on my clothes. Then I bets the -c<
boys they can't light the matches ex- '
cept on the box, an' I wins. Then I
bets them I can, and I reaehes down .?
where that is pinned and 1 strikes it on k
nay clothes and lighfe4t?" The-urchin o!
stated that his revenue from this little 4<
scheme was about 30 cents, a day.? T
Hartford Herald. tc
" 1 si
General Pleasanton, the old cavalry v<
leader, is a familiar h^ure at Washing- b<
ton. He istall/slender, and straight. &
as an arrow. He is called one of tht? A
best story tellers at the capitoL Jri
A veteran of eighty-one years was A
recently seen dancing a double shuffle (X
at Lubec, Me. A town treasurer in v<
Lincoln county is eighty-two years old, tc
has held office fourteen years, and has s<
cut and'hsufetf ten'cfioroB of wood this'
winter, besides doing his chores.
dtf Wort: for Coantry Otrts.
An oxchrjge, the name of which
;annot at this moment be recafiedto.
11 emery, lately urged girls living in
he country to stay at or nearhom'e,
vhere they and their special fitness far
;ome lino of work are well known, and
o not allow any hopes of a bright fuure
to lead them to go to the city to
eek employment t The wisdom of this
dyice will not for an instant be doubt*
id by any acquainted with the truth
iDoat me in tne cmes. in umcago,
or Gamble, while there is a vast
mount of work to &o, andthe wsgfcg
>aid~to some for doing work which &
-oung woman in t&e country believes
he-can doaswelliwanybody seem to
forgotten
faces' which -would in the country,
ron Its cheap food and-light expenses,
>e an ample income will in the city be
larely enough to pay absolutely necesary
expenses.
Competition among wage-workers in
ay large city Is very keen,. and inust
ontinue to be so as long as people can
e induced, by the vague hope of sudenly
becoming rich, to desert the
rata and healthful life of' the county
DT the town. Even in Chicago, where
omkadtic servants have, usaaliy b6en in1
emand, there are more applicants
brii tJiura fti thfl
tii9 Is seldom the ease. Faijners1 wives
an seldom secure help in the house,
xceptr in those rare eases when she
an coaxthe daughter of some neigior
lo demean herself-Sofar as to help
>r ja few days as a personal favor,
tat it is not likely that cue American
irl in a hundred, who, starts for the
Itjr to earn her living las a thought of '
oing into a family as a domestic.
Tsey- cannot think of becoming a serantr
in a household where they would
e fire of good sale Shelter, of surplus
lOame* and of some degree of atten?
on if sickness should come upon
ttett; but they are- willing enough to
z?$ge for the-owner *ofsome office, or
to?j$or shop where the wages will no
io?:thjmpay for food and lodging,
here-are in this, as in most Targe
itittjthdusandsiofgJrls whose psrentet
vifig ifa the cifcy, - afce. giad-to hive
lemwork, even U: they can - do ,no
Lor&i&an pay. for the clothed they
'ea^rr No' doirbt - there are sow ] at r
orifete this city many young women
ho-%>end for cJothing and adornment
fttSioy.earn. Their parent? give them
home,and wilLuatu-somo man: sees
bou$ the girl something wkich tnak6s
Lot-think be would like to pay her
oardt and she thinkB she would be
tad to exchange her old employer and
stated sum per week fora new master
ad whatever money she can coax or :
r?v? htm intn civinty her. Ajrainat
xe competition of girls who bye at
ame aria can have the nse of til their
linings what hope is there for the
ranger who mustpay for food, lodgigr
and every other expenses ?? %tcoiTnlmne.
^ '
{
Msv creSrge Swift's Bear Story.
Mr. <ieorge Swift, a ranchman in the
rand Valley, told a story .this mornig
which Bhows how unenviable is the .
fe of the stock-raiser in that wilderess.
A few days ago -Mr. Swift ' let
is 3 year old daughter ride upon his
orse, and after she had ridden about
aty rodslrom home he lifted her oft \
ie animal and toid her to run home,
n returning home about an hour later
a found that the little one had sot
mched home, and, -gom* to the plaice
here he had seen her last, he- found
ear tracks in the sand. A posse was
>rmed. and all night was spent in'
; arching for the lost child. In the torning,
as the searchers were passing';
? nA/M?o fWo wmAwlu'iftili
OTVOiUpjr OL/VK TT vuv VA w>
as thick, they heard her voice. They
*Hed to thetjiri-to come -out of the
ashes, but she replied that the hear
craM not let her. Then the men crept
.trough the brush and when near the
x>t heard a splash in the water, which! le
child said was the hear. They
rand her standing'on a log, extending :
Ekif way across the swampy and it ,
jemed as though the bear had- under- ?'
iken to cross the swamp on the log,
ad, being pursued, left the child -and.
ot away as rapidly as - possible. She :
ad received some scratches about the
ice, arms and legs, and her clothes
ere almost torn from her body, bat
le bear had not bitten her to hurt
er, only the marks of his teeth being
rand on her back, where he-had taken
old;of her clothes to carry her. The
tiild told her rescuers that the -bear.
ad put her down occasionally 10 rest,
ad wp^ld put bis nose up to ber.iace,
hereupon she would ' slip him and
B would han? liis heJwi bj her
de andpurraud rub against her-like
est. Hot father asked ber if she had
sen eoid during the night, and she
rid him that the old boar lay beside
er and put his "arms" around her
ad kept her warm. "I believe the lite
e one's stony," concluded Mr. 5wift,
for there was evidence to prove its
*uth, and I never knew her-to utter a
ilsehood. Stranger than fiction* is it
ot?r~~Leadville (CoL) Xthronicie.
Hunting the Ostrich.
In their-native desert the ostrich is'
anted scientifically. : Certain - facts;;
re known, one being' that the birds''
ill always tun in a semicircle, first
ley run with the wind,,that they may:
3e their wings to help them. After!
ley get what the sailors call "a bead'
lad they go around the other way.
hey must De rua down. irae cor??
mnot ''wind" them. The great troule
is to keep them in sight They will
in forty miles at a stretch. If they:
rer get a breathing spell they will get
cray. The hunter starts out with ft
esh horse. A Bushman boy rides anther
and leads one. As soon as it is
jen which way the bird will run, the
oy takes his cue and drives to where
e thinks the hunter will need the
esh horse. -One of the most singular
matures is the location of the ostrich's
xtmach. He<?rries it^n his back beveen
his shoulders, and the food can
e seen winding around inside of. his
eck to get at this out-of-the-way re-'1
jptacle.
The public scuoois oi lexas wiu soon'
are a magnificent endowment Fifty
>agues of land were donated to each -;
f the two state universities, and 3S,X),000
acres for the public schools,
hese lands are being sold it auction
the highest bidder, under certain relictions,
and $4;500,000 is now inested
in United States bonds and other
icurities, the interest upon which is
annally applied to sustain the schools,
bout 25, (XX),000 acrter'of school' lands
jnrain unsold, and are rapidly in*aasing
in value. The State will have
pd^manent^chool fund of from |75,-'
X),000 to $100,000,000, and the unisrsities
will have from '$$000,000'1
> $$,000,000: esfch when the fends are;
>ld.
i i ' ' " ' i
Canada's Indian- population: ir*estl-''
latpd at 131*000.
I
/
I
i
Reluctance to Make Wills.
It is curious the antipathy Which
some JMOnge, however regular and
methodical they may be in other matters.
have to making their wills. The
more money* they have to leave, the
more averse they seem to be to do that
which ought to be a matter of duty;
but no, they put it off from day' to day
until the last dread moment comes, and
then'Gfteh it is too late. A man in
health and strength Seldom or ever
thinks ot death* . bat. always as ii he had
years of life before himl So he may,'
-out he may be shot down by a drunken
loafer or ran over by a wagon in cross
ing the. street If he has msd& ma will
he is?so.fflxas worldly affairs are concerned,
prepared to bat.? :he has
not, 'ittfaoy-'
snce^ ihay he hot leave behind him?.
Jim -Fist, with all his millions to leave,
never made hi& wilL until he lay bleeding
fo death on a sofa in the Grand ho*.
tcF, New York, and it-was then written
on. a half-sheet of note paper. The
writer once had occasion to go to'doctors'
commons, to look at. a~ wilL It
was easQy found, as he jbiew . the year
and the aay brthe death, btt what surprised
him was that the will'was dated'
only the day before the man's death.
This, was curious from the fact that the
testator had/been a lawyer, arid one of
the most exact and punctilious in his
profession?<one who had probably
drawn up hundreds of wills for.clients,
and had advised many hesitating ones
to make thefr wills. And yet although
he had great wealth to dispose of, tor
teaxs he had-pfflt off doing that which
he had-adrisedothersnotto delay. in
until' the day before "his death. To
make matte rsworse, he had drawn the
ittH 'httosdlf, and, although a man of
great experience, he h&d drawn it so
ambisruouSlv that it-save rise to lonsr
and costly litigation. Another case of
"putting off" was that of a man whose1
only clald,.a daughter, had married t
against his washes." He hid'driven her
from heme and resolved to leave all his
wealth to a distant relative. He, however,
delayed making' his will, as he'
was hale and hearty. - One day ' he had ).
a stfoke'of paralysis, and at once sent <
for -his. lawyer, to draw but > Ms wilL '
Thia was done, but before he could sign
it he Had a second stroke.and although ' his
mind was active his" hand refused to
hold the pen, and he died with the will
rihsignetL?Gincfanali^ Enquirer: \
.j : ~
Fire Centsftltej.
The cumulative power of inoney is a 1
fact very generally known, butnotgen- 1
eraDy appreciated There are few men '
living at the age of 75, hanging on to .
existence by some slender enjoyment, 1
or pensioners, it may be, on the bounty 1
of kindred or friends, but might, by exexcising
the smallest particle of thrift, 1
rigidly adhered to in the past, have set 1
aside a respectable sum which would '
materially neip mem 10 maintain tneir
independence in their old age. Let us \
take the small and insignificant sum of J
g-cemsr'WTn&Ii wedaJTfitev tn-hAva trnr i
boots backed, to ride in a car the dis-tanCoWe
are ablest? walk* .or to pro- 1
core a had cigar we are better without, '
and see what its value is in the course .
oi years. We will suppose a boy of 15; 1
by blacking his own boots, or 'saving '
his car-fare, or going without his cher- ^
ished cigarette, puts by 5 cents a day; J
in one year he saves $18,85. which be- x.
ing bsnkedbears interest at the rate of j
5 per cent, per annum, compounded !
bi-yearly. On this basis, when our 1
thnfty youth reaches the a^e of 65, i
having set his 5 cents per day relig- J
iously aside during fifty years, the re- (
suit is surprising. He has eecumulat- 1
ed no less a sum than $8,898.17. A ]
scrutiny of the progress of this result
is Interesting. At the age of 80 our hero
had |495; at 40, $877; at 50, $1,667;
at 60, $2,962. After fifteen years sav- c
ing his annual interest more than 1
equals his original principal^ in twenty- &
five years it is more than double; in. i
thirty-five years it is four times as '
pinch; in forty-five years ft is eight c
times as much, and the last year's in- *
terest is $86, or ten and a hat? times as 1
much as the annual amount he puts by. *
oAf+iol rtotA omnnnf aovn/? in fiftxf. f
AUG WOUU U4iAVUUV UM T V>4 MA MAWJ C
years is $912.50, the difference between *
that and the grand total of $8,896.17? f
viz., $2,980.67. Is accumulated Interest, i
What a xna^uiiicent premium for the t
minimum of. thrift that can be well rep
resented In figures.?Brooklyn Eagle. ^
Mr. Wattcrson on Egjpiog.
Some cranky Virginian, a century or <
two ago, betook himself to the prepa- 1
ration of a new beverage, but somehow i
he beeame mixed in his calculations as \
he proceeded, and produced a. soup.? t
He pronounced it good, and called it i
eggneg. We elassify e^gnog among s
the soups advisedly, lor it hath a due <
consistency, a rich amount of animal j
nutrition, and withal the process of t
eooking is involved, for, as, the raw li- i
quo? of concoction, whether whisky, c
brand*. or rum, is poured into tie coldl*
conglomerate of beaten eggs, It immediately
eooks them. Nodntik is richer
or more generous than this soup in respect
to its immediate effect on the palate,
-and none is more insidious and
tricky when it gets in its work npon
the interior viscera and gizzard. A
iot internecine lend promptly arises
between - the several incompatible ingredients,and
they proceed to dissolve
partnership, each element?the wMsky,
the eggs, the scgsr, andthemdlk?setling
ttp; business on its own account.?
The result is confusion and chaos. The
liver and the lights also -become involved
in the demoralization in the .
??-*-??-i- --J ?j-i*;?'
H?Igflogruiwu, JU1U uiumavsij wro i/iwu
and the nerve centers. The patient, in \
fact, falls into a stage in which he ,
wotiid be liable to be called drunk or
dmarily, thought in fact; he is merely
the victim of overfeeding on a most (
treacherous soap. There have been t
more useful inventions than this soup, j
but-we would- not censure the inventor, j
-r-Lotfisville Cotvrier-Joumal. .
air ?~ j
He Declined tWe Offer. t
, A abort time since a certain aspirant ; |
for journalistic honors who resides in
Ottawa, wrote to the. proprietors of a j
leading Chicago; daily offering, his ser- :
vices -as editor in -chief for #2,000 per :
annum. - A lew days later he-received
A reply.^and was -jfcreatly delighted to
findthat the opening tinesof the letter
accepted-his offer; but he was not, how'
? > - ^ * - J-> J AL
ever, so aeiigruea wncn ite reaa um
remainder of the letter, and found that '
the editor-would be required not only
to write editorials 3nd exercise a gen- i
eral supervision over the paper; but
alBOj -when occasion mi^ht require it,
tofu&H. the dctiesoi hi^xt editor, city
editor, reporter, - foreman, business
manager, mail elerk, ^pressman and J
devil; and that at a× he-mirht i
be required to work day and night lor h
several days at a-stretch. When the <
freahyoung maa^bundrOat whatrwould .1
be reqriiredof him he concluded to
giv0 np the fiieaof editing.a-Chicago
tta$jy ;fcr|$000aryear.~<Mava (OjtL}
A Century Ago.
Colonel T: W. Hi Vinson thus writes
ia. Harper's Magazine: "Mrs. Washington's
receptions were reproached as
inductory to the pageantry of courts,'
"but it was very modest pageantry.
Nothing could have been less festive
or more harmless thaD the hospitality
of the Presidential abode. An English
manufacturer who was invited there to
breakfast reports a meal of admirable
simplicity?tea, coffee, sliced tongue,
dry toast and butter?'but no broiled
fish, as is the general custom,' he adds.
At-her evening receptions Mrs. Washington
offered iier guest tea and coffee
with ^ plum-cake; at 9 she warned Jier
visitors that .the I General kept early
hours, and after this remark the guests
hadno choice but to do the same.
"At t.hpjip. entertainments of hers the
President was but a guest?without his
sword? and found it necessary also to
retreat in good order at the word of
command. His own receptions were
for invited guests only, and took place
every other week between 8 and 4 p.m.
The President stood before the fireplace
in full black velvet, with his hair
powdered and gathered into a bag; he
wore yellow gloves and silver busies,
with a steel-hilted sword in a white
leather scabbard; he held in his hand
a cocked hat with a feather. This is
the description given by William Sullivan
in his 'Familiar Letters on Public
Characters.^
"If it was the object of Washington
to make these occasions stiffer than the
drawing-rooms of any crowned poten-.
tate, he succeeded. Names werer announced,
gentlemen were presented,
the President bowed but never shook
hands; at 8:13 the doors were closed
and .he visitors formed a circle; the
President made the circuit, addressing
a few words to each; they then bowed
and retired. It is hard .to imagine that
these mild entertainments could iiave
been severely censured as' extravagant
or monarchical; one can better comprehend
how the censure could be applied
to the street equipage of the .new
President, the cream-colored carriage
painted in medallions, and
the - -livenes of white turned up 1
with green. Yet these were, perhaps, i
more readily recognized as essential to :
the dignity of his station. It was with
the 'desire of promoting this dignity '
that fiie senators of the new nation 1
WBre anxious to give the President an j
official title. The plan was said to ]
have originated with John Adams,
nrho believed, 'splendor and majesty.' to >
be important in a republic; and there ;
Bras a joint committee of congress to 1
consider the matter. (
"This committee reported against it,
but the dissatisfied senate still favored
a title, as it well might, at a time when
the senators themselves were habit- 1
aally called 'Most Honorable.' They j
proposed to call the Chief Magistrate
'His Highness, the President of .the
Dili ted States of America, and Protect- J
jr of their Liberties.' The House. ob- 1
jected; the country at large was divid- '
sa;-"Uniex WSUPb MtgeAu J
'His Serene Highness;.' somebody else
suggested 'The President General,' and j
governor Sullivan thought that 'His i
Patriotic Majesty' would not be inapr <
propriate, since he represented the l
majesty of the people; Washington
limself, it is said, favored 'His High j
Mightiness,' which was the phrase ]
Ised by the Stadtholder of Holland. <
[t was the common sense of the nation ]
hot 'cuttvnfr. tkMA AYtrnvnoran/ioa
t was one of the. many occasions in
American history when the truth of
Talleyrand's saying has been vindicated
that everybody knows more
inybody."
ji the Midst of Ldfe He was in Business.
?
On Washington street, Boston, the
>ther afternoon, the mass of snow from ;
he roof of a high building began to
iHde, and fell in a white and smotherng
cascade upon the crowded sideralk.
One unfortunate man was
aught by it and completely buried
!rom sight Immediately the people
eho had avoided a share in his misfortme
rushed to his assistance. One man
nxraed into the snow and caught him by
he leg; another got a purchase on his
irm, and others gripping him by clothng
- and body, in due time he was j
UVUgUV 4AJ rno AAV ^r;wvur- j
id. a sorrowful spectacle, hovrever. >
Sis hat looked like a half-inflated consertina,
his coat was torn, and his colar
hung only by the button on the ,
jack of his shirt, and whereverhe disdosed
a lodging place for the snow in
lis raiment or person, there the chillng
element had established -itself. He 1
ras apparently lifeless, also, and a 1
,Treat crowd collected, with every man- !
testation of sympathy. The stranger 1
toon revived, he sighed and opened nis ]
>yes? the flush of Bfe returned to his *
ishen cheek. He saw the concourse ibout
him and smiled, opened his
nonth to speak, and as Ihe people *
crowded around to hear him, said: S
4Ah?h! that was a narrow escape for j
ne. The perils of winter, even in this 4
emperate zone, are indeed fearful j
Jut now much more terrible are they I
n the frozen regions of the pole. I i
lave here"?ana he opened a sachel 1
rhich had survived the shock?"the ]
lew book describing the sufferings and
Leath of the De Long party, for which ,
l am taking subscriptions and which I j
thonld be uleased to sell you at"?but 1
lere somebody yelled that another j
mow-3lidc was coming, and the crowd 3
ranished like smoke. *
(
An observant Bostonian, just return- <
sd from a tour of the West, says: 1
'?The most wonderful thing in the 1
West is the rapidity with which the
small towns are building water-works. 1
JTou can hardly find a town of 3,000 to '
10,000 inhabitants without completed j
>r protected water-works. The usual <
jystem is a central reservoir, into which t
the water is pumped and from which it i
is fed by pressure. Such a system costs <
from $40,000 to $80,000. "The towns 1
isually issue 6 per cent, bonds. This -i
?tails annual interest of $2,500 to \
|5,000. The water rents more than
pay this, besides expenses, and provide j
something for the sinking fund Enough ,
Is saved in insurance alone to balance j
ie interest, while the increased health j
md convenience is beyond compute- i
tion." j
Correcting a Poet.
An amateur poet who is wasting his *
sweetness on the desert air of Min- l
aesota sends to a paper a poem begin- j
ling: j
"fmet her atoor trystiiiir place, ,
At edge of field beside the bars.
And gating la her pure, sweet face,
I kissed her 'aeata the cold, sweet face, j
The fellow most be an idiot, or else ,
be don't know good goods when he ,
sees them. If the seraph who molds ;
the religious course of this paper had ,
ione that job, his report to headquar- j
iers would have read: ,
"I met her at oar trusting place, j
At edge of field where davy stows,
And, gazing In her pure, sweet lace, *
I kSsed her 'neatn the cold, pale note. ]
?Bisrwrck Tribune.
WIT AND HUMOB.
"Light is gradually : breaking?me,n
remarked the man when he paid a. gas
bill twice as large as usual' ' _
Why are very young dudes like very ,. t
new wheat? Both are too green to
thrash. J
. . -p * ? ** ?
When a man declares his love in
deeply-drawn breathing, young lady,
put it down as only a sighed show.
.. SpoakihgoTthe; matter of .close observation,
did it ever occur "to you that
women are clothes observers?
Matthew Arnold calls a'cowa 4?coo."
Ee has a ;cowriotta .style of proaxmcia- -?
Saturday always reminds one of the
wooden thing shoemakers use when
mol'fl OIAIT ^IKAOO T+'a
VAAV^jr illMlXv XV/11> n QUV^O* O.V o uuv
last of the week, * ~v
Paterfamilias (reading doctor's bill):
"Well, doctor, I have no objection to
pay yon for the medicine, bttt I will return
the visits.
Carlyle-said that everybody should
have an aim in life. Some of the early
settlers of Texas had two names iniife. ?*
?Texas Siftings.
An eagle carried off a small. boy. at Waco,
Texas, and the city'authorities
are agitating the question' of hatching
eagles as ah important local industry.
They say dogs can't reason,. but no
one will doubt that a dog tries to
reach a conclusion when he chases his v
taiL ' . r
If there is one-time more than an- \
other when a woman should be entirely
alone, it is when a full.line of clctihes
comes down in the mud. A
New Jersey widow has just been
awarded $9,000 as a balm for a .broken
heart This patches up the scars until
it is almost as good as new.
<40, professor!" exclaimed-setttw^ra^ ??
tal old Mrs. Fishwhacker, ^rtug a private
organ recital in her new music
ynn-m T\n11 /Mlt tVl-Otcnroof" TITI-T* V/->TT<_
ica stop once moreP . .
The leading hotels of London gladly
adopt the 'finest .American features, . &
3ays a correspondent Pretty orphan
girls, now is your.chancefgo -to' Lunoofi.
Lying on the left Bide is condemned
by health journals. Bnt-if -one is on
the right side what need is there for
him to lie at all? " If hedoes'he-js'rery^ ^
liable to find himself left." ~y~^
O ver-scrupulous? VMy .husband is
ricar of St. Boniface?but :I don't attend
his church." "Indeed, how is
that?'' The fact is I?I don't approve
Df married clergymen/1
"Yes," said the old sexton, ' the bell
tolls the age of the departed.". ''How
onliie the society belle that coines and
roes," added the graveyard wag,-"she
5as never told her age." .
In answer to the query of Lazybones, *1
tow to arouse sluggish blood? we
snouia aavise mm w> - sense s proiesnonal
sparrer. -N- Bis .Be snre taSL - : jhjaaa
rxard. ' J " - -"
You've ncrlaea wnat a~~ ncapr. it ~~ " *ives
a man to steal up Behind " a girl -?1 _ - ^
srho is scribbling, look over her shoulder,
and find that "she's idly writing yonr . *
name with a "Mrs." prefixed-.
It is proposed in Iowa to-tax dogs
tor the sheep they kill. This is wrong.
So gooddog will stand up and let a
sheep bite him without resenting it?
Peoria Transcript - - -Mrs.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich, wife of
he author, is described as one of the,
nost picturesque women in Boston by
>ne of the papers of that city. 'v '
A last resort: "My poor man," said
;he doctor, "you are dangerously ilL
[s there any word you want to'send to
rour friends?" "Am I really so 21?"
isked the sufferer. "Alas! I can offer
rou no hope." "Very well, then," _ >
laid the sick man; "Just telephone for ^ >-"
mother doctor."
"Just think. In Heidelberg I once
;ame across a negro that was actually
so black that he could not be.seenwith>ut
a light!" "H'ml?I saw a fellow
>ne time in Mannheim who wasso thin
;nat ne always naa ro enter a room
iwice before he could be noticed!"?
2erman Fun. V" . ' ?The
newest color, according to a
Brooklyn authority, is "the inside of a
nule's ear by..starlight" We think
hey've hit tins time on a shade that a
nan can recognize when he sees it, enabling
him, consequently, to successfuly
match worsteds of that color.?LawU
Citizen^ . . .. lit To
empty a theater in case of fire,
he drop should be lowered. All the
nen will rush out by force of habit, . ?md
the women will sit still, '-'as usual
n such cases, and a panic will be prorented.
-This-suggestion if freely offered
for what it is worth.?Boston
Transcript.
Two young married French ladies
sere talking about their husbands.
said one of them: "Do you really think
four Jules went shooting yesterday?"
14Well, I don't think he triedto deceive
ne yesterday; I am inclined to think
le went." "But he didn't bring back
my game." "That's what makes
ne sure he did go!" was the wife's re"Do
you know," said an infatuated
routh to a young lady, who preferred
lis room to his company?*^do you ,
mow that the comet otl8l2," noy ?isi)le,
is traveling1 away from us at the
ate of many millions- of miles a day?"
"No, I didn't know it; bat I wish a
jertain young man would, imitate the
;omet and travel off at the.same.rite."
5e traveled?but not quite so rapidly
isthecomet ;
Cruel?Effie (to Mrs. Belw.eather,who
las just been speaking of Mr." B.):
"Why, Mrs. Belweather, Ithoughtyou
ladn't any husband!" Mrs. B.: "Why,
>f course I have, Effie. Do -yon mean
? say that you don't know. Mr.' Belfeather?'1
Effie: "Yes, but I didn't .
suppose he was your .husband.; I * .
bought you hadn't, any.' Papa aiad
fou married for money, and !!*?.? was
ill you got"
A well known Detroit lady, who is a
irifty provider, saw a load of pork,
md concluded to purchase a couple of
ine porkers, ior which she settled with
he dealer on. the spot She forgot
iowever to.give Mm ner address, ..and
m hour after, as she stood conversing
with some of her aristocratic friends,
&e man of pork a^proachcd' and
"nudged" her mysteriously with the
Dutt end of his whip. The lady turned
n amazement "Shzay, shzay!" he
isxea in a ioua voice, ?vas you ue vonan
dot belongs to dem hogs?"
(Congressman Thomas B. Reed, of
Maine, is described as a large; rotund
man, with a big, fat, jpUy face, an# a
general ..air of contentment* as-if he
s?ere entirely satisfied that the world is
sagging along'jost'abo.ut as it'should.
3e is said to be the onlyman,:;in'*C<Dnrress
who neyer preparesa: speechibe- , +?
tore delivery. In general.-, appjaur^jiee
le looks very much like Colonel R. G.
[ngersolL