Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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^ ^ ^ . t _ 11 " ^ "r'' '""*""^' jjjj WINNSBORQ, S. C.,?yE^pggAY^MABCH 1-2, 1884. . , ' ; ^v, 1 ; "Going Up Head." Tbe low school house stood in a green Wa- i bash wood i Lookin' out on long- levels of corn like a , sea? A little log house, hard ?enches, and we, i B:jj barefooted bays, and rough 'uns, vre I .*Voi r " : ~ In line' tilth the gals, and tried to get'bead ; At spellin'each day wheu the lessons was ! said. But one, Bally Dean, tall, bony and green j gJWU mill IU tw U11I1H Otwii ?iwv , foot? ) Stood day rifter day, as if he'd been put _ A soldier on gunrd there, did poor.Bally j Dean, 1 i Vf And stupid! God made him so stupid I j doubt? ' But I puess God who made us knows what ' \ He's about. - j He'd a lonz way to walk. But he wouldn't i once taik ; Of that, nor tLc chores for his mother who lay A*b?k o'?U onie-. StiU, ,4jay after day He-Ff<5od- at the foot'till the class 'gan to | mock! t ? . | Then to mss:er he plead, "Ob, I'd like-to go head." . ?... i Now, it wasn't so much, but the way It was j said. i.;--; 'f t j Then the war struck the land! Why, that j1 barefooted band It just nailed- up lhat door; and the very next day. * {With master for cap'cn, vent m archill' away;. I .. And Bally .the butt of the whole Wabashband! But be bore with it all, yet once firmly said, k fWbcn I jret back heme Tin' agdin* up k bead!" Oh. that school house that stood in the wild Wabash wood! Tbe rank weeds were growin' white g-hosts I through the floor, . ^ The SQUirrelabulled nuts on the sill of the ! aoor. And tbe ga s stocd in groups ecrapin'lint ! ? # How^Ve sighed ? how we { ? slekened and died : For the days that h^bgeuj-fopa^kiace at j, soso ! I Ml I in v*fi?ad 1 ? $rss m au?15cBCTRKf7wastaken, condemned toJbe shot! . jisaajtBB5g,a^ssmst1"" slept | \ flush j * .-va^c && ?WO?SB?tW?*aiS - ?' J>eaa thought of the bojMo be I - r N^fWtrfiifi girl,hc loved in. tlie "woods far ' v.; '-- c?? ? ^;^ Of li^(^ftiov_elbat pre* like a;retf rose I r And he stopped. where -he .stood, and he | y_"'Stbi")r!gJnjL.aiid h?4hrviypjtr~ ..,: i .... .Ken Hrtu-^iuKii-star .fed^bootinToa-over- I ; .; ,^h?a4- --. $39$i*3C ' I -?inw-helraoTv That his raoiher beckon'd on Krrs? s*??W?Wetf. : --* -*--^v .-- - , ^mSbsSb* '- " -" 1 - >- - ? " fi"L Aad he said what havel? Though -1 live, *" ^ .Jhoasfc I die, ?.v - .^ko-shstttsmrfortuejno'vv? Then the dull, A "' j5t^^^^^^?^he-knew that the Master _ ~ W^CiMin,, t -i ! w rrh mc?cjn^~/And he passed in the tent , z+trJS ? - . Ami the doc mod ljfti crept tforlh and tho , ^di&^s^^ad-ied xr^r-'-rrr^ f \ Witb\tow^:%?>*e^to the march of the >. - ? *% 1 Then .Tv-iill Jaci turned avcjiv tow'rd a> dim ?^cr?ocof day; r . -% ? , v^Aaa-b:^gt)Kv>-^?of tehrs~thcpoor~bowed SflKU.^.-sD.5il l~- - je*C?i*CL.t ~.i.I;\?71velylI,oii Jits-inccs ana uncovered his wG5fis?i[oy$?S JscscbSoI. time. Jet ns all j % r/y'^' X i And ' we"prayed. Aja& the lad by the eofBn ; - - ***+. %ne- - - * - - - ,| - ^ -Vy?ft.teacicssK?-WJis sitent, was Ptijl as-a sfonc. .?? t *t\S T*'-2T^2 ! | 'In line," master _said.Aijd. he stood at the liQad':"". i l Ttotl> Kit?'?uHtft spenk nov; "So be'drew out " biss?ord:^iis^s;uii^iiC5i-A^'*<:U-.And drep.j^dHi&.peint Jowforthe last' fatal ntJi? out,c and a ^oMier- fell ,2lie.maiiuy sprang : fonrardz .- "God _3i elp . - ?~ '*It is^Bal|>';_poor-~Ka?yt and be*s_ gone up ft . "* Z.* *" ~jiei. ? JoaqulirKSler. -WlK^waSSe?S~* " ' ' Only a circus performer?a leaper who \jjis accustomed to doing flying., trap^^acts-a n'd. 1 earring; from a spring b<Menra^tiB^h^plzyMifsvpf the specta-^i toas? \?h^B^ye(WKaILttre more that it^as-'juit pcssTMo.he" might miss and dCsIf himself ~to fragments at their feet . The doctorate the^ -hospital was accustomed to sdjing mel*, accustomed ito sortsjwfui, heaj^; his.toriee, to sad, sid scenes of p&tfin^and "diath. Bat he hast nothin^t&do wifci^ them. He was ' * there to leani something of interest to i- seicncej.ta.study tke"lajvS?of anatomy; to -reduce a fracture successfully or kill s^feyer^ ?le looke^mto dyin^eyes, . not 'thread the secrets there hjetd, of life that had passed, " but to observe hojvt ,t#m"aihfeeted them, and interpret the , value, of bromides and morphm&L' .Tiys " hospital doctor would have done the same thing'bat {or one of those strange .* links in the chain of life which' demand - /a conservation of interests "whethertwe will or no. * He had gone one day last . summer to the circus and taken his.two "* Jitfle .boys; they .'had . been, delighied rw with the double treat, that of being ;;; with papa and. of seeing. the glory of M : wonderland. One little fellow na&gone |L wild over the gymnast and ieaper, the ijr 7 man who! shot into the air, came down r on his feet, turned a somersault, kissed ?. his finger-tips "to . the spectators and ! Wjf sped on feet of air from the ring. Now, there was something strange in the fact that when-one 'of the little i fellows died?as he did suddenlv and unexpectedly as eimaren go-^-iie ixx ujr.. ing talked only of this man. And it was strange that the doctor saw nothing of interest in his patient until hk other boy going the rounds with hhn pulled at his. coat and whispered: * : -* "It's Bertie's circus man, papa; the one that jumped over all the horses and ^ -Hito the air, and went^ over and* over. -Oh", papa! won't you mend him ap?" ; But the poor fellow was pa?t mending, and the doctor knew. it. He had made a misstep, and falling, struck on j his. head and shoulders, and they had i picked Mm up and carried him out and he had lain here ever since. His com- { rades had left him, with many a hand* [ -shake andsympat&etictear, and gone on their war wi&aut him.Taud 4e< did not care., what was thereof 12e left f?r him anyway? ' **? I "Iffhen the doctor knew who the man .was he thought of-his dead boyrand St once began,the-task of making death easy to him. That was all he could do, rjust smooth with kindness that sure de- ! scent which we must all tread. : ^ ^ , The^ay which would have no to-' \mpnrow.eame at last to the sick man, ! all-..'the morning-he lay sleeping ! and dozing, and. at night he was dying; j his check's -were red with fever heat; a delirium' arid imagined | plauditsofthe crowds. The doctor's ! anaesthetics were as powerless as water. ; The last fitftal fiashingsjof escaping life were superhumahlyHbriorhk Over and ! > over asrain "he'l-gpeatea the name of1 font Lulu. _ " __ S "Who Is Lulu?" asked the doctor, i with a hope of releasing the troubled i spirit from dwelling on the past ; "An anoreh" said the dvinsr man i faintly and brokenly; "an angel in I Heaven "now. "But she was jmy good B angel " oh earth?mine?mine?mine! Hoyoi* hear, doctor? I defy yon to part us there?yon eannot! You dare The doctor gave him a soothing he^ew wilder and raved L ?& K; ' " "Listen," be cried, "do you liear that call?" It means trouble in the circus! Not among the animals, the wild savage beasts, but among men, aye, and women, loo! Oil, doctor, she was all I had! just mv little Lulu. We had thought it so cruel?not to have known and loved each oilier all our lives?but she was a wife before I knew her. QreatGodf how he abused her, and when they told her he was dead, the poor child went out into the world for herself, and I found her?quick,doctor, give me water?I am strangling." The doctor lifted his head, and the water gurgled in the throat of the dying man. "He could no longer swallow, but it cooled his parched lips! "I taught her to do the trapeze busi ness. Sbe was small, ana ngnt, ana quick. She was beautiful and innocent How I loved her! And after we had been together a year she married me, and we were so happy?so happy! And she played so welL Her eyes shone with her riew happiness. Her heart was so light that she attracted crowds; and one night in the season here?oh, doctor, it is hard for a dying man to talk J?she?she just took the house by storm. There was an ovation. Sho was recalled again and again! The manager, doubled her salary on the spot?but we didn't care for that It was just the triumph in her art?we loved each other, and the life, too." , The leaper who was never again to hear the applause he once coveted, -nAMfveif in Ins fn hia lilLUU. 4.1IC 14. ?3.iu xu iiio umuu uv lips and kissed it reverently. He looked so strong and bright that a neophyte in mattei's of life and death would have mistaken him for a well man. But the ,doctor knew. " : "The next night Lulu was to give them a new and dangerous feat, and the house was full, crowded, and she never looked so lovely. I made my great leap and ran out of the ring, and -< J T _i_. ?? ? cu? 1UUUU XJU1U ?'CUUii^ LKJ \JLl. looked so small and sweet, so like a lovely, affectionate child, she was so innocent and altogether lovely tHat I took her in my arms and kissed her. Oh, my God, that was the last time!" "Teddie," said she, laying her soft cheek against mine; "Teddie, we've been happy, haven't we?" "And will be as.long as we live," I said. "Then I saw that she had been crying, and I was going to say she should not go on, w&en the call for her came and she was gone. She turned and looked at me as she went in?yes, yes. Lulu, I'm coming." . Tfee doctor did not^move; there was r>r\ tvr?r>nrrO ?fitv in tliin now, and he spoke distinctly and fast but the medical man was not deceived. It was the beginning of the end. Even then his thoughts wandered and he held imaginary conversations with that Lulu he loved. "I said she went on; she did her part splendidly and won round after round of applause and came off, but I did not see her, as I had another leap to make, ^andASl Went into the ring the first 'person I saw was a cross-eyed man. We show people are superstitious, doctor, and?oh, this pain!?I knew that meant bad luck. I was just balancing for the leap when there came a cry? Oh, doctor, I can hear it yet?the cry that stands for "help!" among circus people. It was Lulu, and her voice rang out t>ver the whole crowd, "Hey, Rnbor* Eheard it, and the.shot that followed, but I was balanced for the leap and could not stop?and I fell short?and that was why they left me here." "And Lulu?" suggested the doctor, as he saw the dying man's attention wander. ic tKo\r trwlrJ mo ? aftecs^ards, byrher husband, who-was -aim* after a]9. . But its - all righ?:<loclor, alTT^ht? ""There Is no marriage or giving in marriage there! Yes?yes, my darling, I am coming?comingcoming?!15 The doctor's watch lay on the table and counted and ticked off the minutes. When the hour-hand pointed to midnight the ward .was asieep, and strange, ^nfting shadows, like intangible visitors, swept, up and down the long vista and wrapped all the suffering inmates in theiF beneficent arms. Then in the solemn stillness a strange weird cry rang out like noies of a war trumpet, or the midnight, call of .some brooding tropical'bird:- i 'v y "Hey, Rube!" It seemed to come out <>f space. The white faces of disturbed sleepers peered into the shadows, a moment, and then all fell back to sleep, thinking it a troubled dream. The doctor looked at the face of the man he was'watching ?and he was asleep, too.?Mrs. M. L. Jtaync. _ r m t 4m* Mysterious Miners. Last Chance is the last town along the line of the Northern Pacific at which liquor can be sold this side of the Jacko Indian reserve, being immediately on the line of the reserve. It is about seventy-five miles east of Heron. Two Frenchmen recently came into Last Chance, says the Kootenai "(Idaho) Courier, who had been known :for.years in the mining camps of Oregonltnd Idaho. They have created a sensation by the display of a half-dozen buckskin bags filled-with gold dust" and nuggets, from ihe size of a bird shot to thafrOf a walnut .The story runs that for years jast tb-jse:ijien have been "in the habit of spending ijiost of their time^in the frontier camps, but now and then they would disappear for a month or six "weeks and suddenly reappear with their pouches well filled with dust. Of coursc they are supposed to visit some ^placer country of fabulous richness. where, bv a few .days' work, thev were aBleTto extract the $2,000 or $3,"000 which they spend with lavish hand during their sojourn in camp. Attempts have been made to follow them on their excursions, which usually resulted in their hiding in the mountains and eluding pursuit, but one man i claims to have followed them into the Kootenai country to a point near the British line, .where a narrow path was reached, and that while one went on the other mounted guard with a Winchester rifle. He attempted to approach the sentinel, but was ordered to halt, accompanied by the discharge of the rifle. The companion immediately appeared as if the shot was ja . mutual understood signal, and the intruder was oraerea to leave tne vicinity unaer pain of death. The romantic setting of the story makes-?it extremely interesting,-and many of the old frontiersmen place implicit faith in its entire truth, citing as a basis of their confidence the fact that the men do disappear and invariably, return with plenty of gold; but we heard" no satisfactory reason given for the failure to find the narrow pass and penetrate the mysteries beyond.? ^ , r The Current' says: 4'The feminine fashion of decorating bonnets with the bodies of slaughtered "birds is intolerable, and it is gratifying to perceive that vigorous protests are entered against it>v 1 | ABOUT OPERA GLASSES. i What They arc Made of and What j They Cost. What with sapient eye-glasses and | owl-eyed opera glasses, the average play house audience lias become an a<?| gregate of petty masked batteries, each i of which is trained on the others with ; merciless directness and continuity. i'Some facts as to the "great guns" in ! ' | this raking fire were recently learned i ? rt f TJA-OTITt'd I AiULLL il WUltCUUS SAlCSUaUtkl JL j. Said he: "I should say that, judging by our experience, the sale of opera glasses { has increased threefold over sales of ! two years ago. Indeed, to meet the | heavy demand, we imported many thousand pairs for this season. Imported? Yes, fop there arc no. opera ( glass makers in this country known to j the trade. Voigtlaender, of Vienna, and ]1 Chevallier, of Paris, are considered the J best makers, though others,- like Le- ; maire and the firm of Bardou et fils, both of Paris are not without reputation. London runs to the first two the same as New York. Besides stock from ( Voigtiaender and unevaiuer, wo seep glasses stamped with our own name < and made for us in Paris; we consider ; these quite as good as the former but sell them at a slightly cheaper rate. ! Tell you something about the materials 1 used? Well, opera glasses have either six or twelve lenses. The latter, as j you may suppose, possess double power; * \ j they are also more achromatic?have j I less foreign coloring than the six lens \ ! glasses. For the eye pieces, flint ; i glass is used; also rock-crystal which j is smoother and clcarer yet For the ' end piece flint and crown glass is , used, xne nrst Deing xne Des&maue.uua cave and the latter convex. Of conrse the quality of the glass varies, and then the grinding, focusing and adjusting are of importance, depending on the maker. We might look at the frames and mountings now. Our cheapest pairs have brass frames lacquered black and mountings of seal leather. These | range in price from $5 to $15, depend; ing on the size and number of lenses, six or twelve. Only one quality of ?-lass is used in them. Those of the next higher grade range from $15 to $50, and have aluminum frames, the | 1TT?fU fUfl rtliallfTT rtf /VIOOO l I j ViALJlLL^ ?T i \jU. tUV/ Ujr VA J j : and the size. The aluminum frames j ! have a silverish color, which never tar- j nishes. More of these frames are sold ^ than of any other kind, their extreme } lightness making them popular. Some- < times the silverish color is exchanged 5 for black by means of lacquer. The : next grade of opera glasses includes , those with mountings of mother-of- 3 pearl, of smoked pearl and oriental ] pearl. The coloring of the last two is , artificial These last two have heavy j frames ($13 to $50), and the light alu- I minum frames ($30 to $75). The mother-of-pearl frames cost from $35 to $70. In all three the heavy frames are gilded with French gilt. Now we come to what are called "fancy1' cases. Ivory and shell are no longer included in | these, as the first discolors quickly, and both of them crack and break easily under atmospheric influences. The fancy glasses ha?e frame and mounting alike, and are the enameled, the gold, the silver and the aluminum. The enameled glasses cost from $100 J to $175; the plain gold from $150 to j $260; the plain silver, $100; the etched ( ?1QA- on/1 tlin olnmi-nnm nlain $75, enameled $85. Of coursc you ( know there are exceptionally high ^ priced glasses also. See, here's one of 3 gold inlaid with diamonds and sap- ^ phires, and costing $500. We have \ one inlaid with rubies and costing r $5,000. The novelties in this line of s goods just now are mountings of what \ is called Persian <*old (a maroon color 3 brought out of gold by the action of s chemicals on the alloy, and causing al- a ; so an enamel effect),- a mounting of s ! white calfskin, and a mounting of alu- c minum. Here's a very striking one? a ground of the silvery aluminum cov- ( ered wittfiace-work of gold. It costs c ?250. The Pft^sian gold mounts cost j $185 and $350.?JV. Y. Tribune. s Wliy The Casfe- Went Over. Colonel W. P. Grace,-.of Pine Bluf? i Arkansas, a lawyer of finubilities and t a gentleman of high cultivation, was g at one time, though happily tfot now, somewhat addictcd to lifting & glass i with a "here's to you" comment-. On 3 one occasion his convivial frankness t was the cause of his taking up a'so- c jcurn in jail. During a session Of--I court, held by the late Judge Murray, 3 1 r> . 11~,J V^*sSAl/LLt?A \JL ULC >Y iio uauuu 1U IV UVXUMU V a man indicted for assault with intent t to kill. When he made his appear- f ance, the judge, at once observing that s he was "tired," regretted having c called him. t "Colonel Grace,." said his honor, t "this case can go over if it suits your t convenience." r "No, sir, we are ready to go into t trial." e "But," persisted the judge, winking at the prosecuting attorney, "I am in s favor of the case ^oin? over." r "I'm not," excfaimed Colonel Grace, a "The witnesses are all here, and I j want to go on with the case.1' \ "1. don't think that you are in con- 'J dition to attend the case." t "Why, sir?1' demanded the Colonel, ii loss.: - sooii l'eleiKBd jjg?p3$K?n to I his'nam.e,:>cose and; said: - o . "Your J>onorr' ycsier|a^. in - sonse- c auence ?? ?pmk<&wsfc'i. -use&^con- i &**! Sat^ r^ail. d I . am., a maa v:Jm matare^ife^and e -that I 8 ereiti'sd .{s^fprg^.mjseljE., $s Jq; cast I re#j^MaK^n*4k ^nrt ^JusfciQ^^d b I nbw^desjre..tQ say^Vihatci "iMorse h th? - rwfioD/.jbf ' tho command, request C % "". *";' ;<"': y ^r'wlll^remit.the-Jine,." . said.. the judge. 4 "No, your honor, I should be made c to pay it, and it is my earnest desire J that you do not remit it." The fine was paid, and whether or not this had a direct tendency .to turn a career we cannot say, but Colonel Grace is now one of the most influential and consistent temperance reiorm * workers in the State. ?Arkansas Trav- f .7-^^r-' i t Ltr. Jt ' ? S It rather annoys.tie woman holding t a prig dog in her lap in the street car s to hear a learned-looking gentleman c remark'to a friend: '*Do you know that c thejemale orang-outang at the museum t has formed a.strong attachment for a ? sm^dog, and that sbe fondles it con- c !stanily. .. ? 7 TRICKS IN WINE-MAKING? ; ? How Champagne and Other Frencfc-v Vinous Products are Produced. ' - i .4r>^VI Of all countries which go largely .into. ? ~ io f/WArrtACf ' OTttfll. I W ILLU-UJ j; L UUV/C. xvi^uiwt, uuuy.( owing to the abundance, and vatfetj-; produced, through the variety of _sc>il. and climate, it has been called the vine&; yard of the earth. About seven-eighths* of the territory is wine-bearing, and?" next to the ordinary business of agri%; culture, it is the most yaloaWo^branch^of industry. It gives' exEjpJoymfenfe, toZ 3,000,060 "persons: The""quantity oif wine annually produced is 2,000,000,000^ gallons, and this is worth $3dO,OOQ,OQOlJ These wines differ widely one from^ another, and each has a fame of it%C own. Of them all the products of the ^ Champagne country are the best] known and most widely distributed^! This has always been considered., asj bearing off the palm; it has al\fayjfl| been the favorite wine of the crowned^ heads, as well as of other .historical personages. . \ - ; " ' i.lSg The province of Champagne is mi ded into five departments, but it is onlyi in the Department of Marne that .the.'; champagne of commerce is made. And* Marne is subdivided into five depart-* ments, of which Rheims and Epernay r are the true center of the manufacture. So}when we see ^Rheims" an<L "Epernay" on the bottles we know^ jas^-where they come from; and, for a ' still clearer picture, it may. be stated that the vineyards of Rheims are situa-. ?*Twnn^ tliA slfvnffs of a wooded mountain, while those of Epernay occupy au undulating plain. The vintage begins in September. The grapes are subjected to three pressures, and, the juice being collected into large vats, itr is allowed to stand twelve or eighteen hours, till the sediment is deposited. It is then drawn off into barrels and left to ferment. By December, the wine being clear, it is again drawn into vats,md as the perfect article is made from the products of several different vineyards, the operation of mixing begins. Aiter this is accomplished it is again Irawn into the barrels and allowed- to stand till Spring. It is then bottled md carried into the cellars and laid :>n its side, and the secondary fermeniation begins. It lasts through the Summer, and during this time there is often so much bursting among the bottles that the loss sometimes amounts ;o 25 per cent. After the fermentation md breakage cease, the- bottles ar? jverhauled, and those that are whole restacked. After resting eighteen months they are taken out and shaken, thereupon any little sediment there nay be comes to the top, and, the cork >eing taken out, the froth that pushes ip brings the sediment with it, so that t can be removed. One thing, more, and the wine is ready for market. Into each -bottle is ntroduced a little melted rock candy, nixed with a trilling quantity of branly. The quantity of sweetness inxoduced depends on the country to vhich the wine is to be sent. Russia requires least, and England and the [Jnited States most. The bottles are.. iow recorked, the air excluded by Deans of tin foil or wax,and the champagne, now three or four years old, is , eady for use. Twenty-five millions of jottles are annually put up, one-sixth >f which comes to the United States. Next in importance come the wfties >f the Gironde. The capital of this lepartment is Bordeaux; hence the vines are often called by that name. Che Gironde is* divided into: five wineproducing districts, of which Medoc is he most celebrated. It is a long, larrow plain containing 45,000,000 teres of vineyards. Eight million galons of wine are annually produced. Chese wines are all red, and are what ire called clarets. One-fourth of them >*?/\ 4-V* aIoco nrinfio etirtli >L ^ tUt CA^UiOJ.1^ I^u-VitWO t^U^/U is Chateau Margaux, . Chateau Lafitte md Chateau Latour. These command tn enormous price, -even in France. Comparatively little pure Medoc reach- : :s this country, as the popalar taste ; n America likes it reinforced with pirituous strength. The amount of nixing that goes on at. Bordeaux is prodigious. Her export is twc,lve times is much as the entire growth of Medoc, md one-half of these are bought, as . jentune, witnont misgiv.ng. Another of the famons wines exhibted here is the Hermit The vineyards which producc this wine lie on " ho south slope of a hill near the town . >f Tain, on the Riione, in the old Province of Dauphiny. It is called iermltaggrH^ecause of a hermit who . ook up his abocISSiierc in the thireenth century and plalHcd the vines UL 4*JU iUlUl LI AilV lope being southerly; the sun shines >n the vines all day long,- and brings he fruit to marvelous perfection. Tno ines are in three vineyards, and as he perfect wine results only from a nixture of the product of the three, he proprietors must bold property.; in ifich.' ; \ | | - The Burgundy wines are grown on_a eries of low hills about thirty-six niles in length. -Along their slopes, .nd extending a mile or so out on the >lains at their feet lie Ihc vineyards pinch produce the * 'yellow Burgundy.'' Che district of the. Sauternes produces , he celebrated Chateau Yquem, which s esteemed almost too precious to use. t looks like bottled sunshine. The department of Charente is rich n vineyards. All of the wine is uaied Or distillation, * immediately after feraentation. The town of Cognac is the enter of the manufacture, hence the Lame is usually applied to those randies, which are the best in the rorld. . . c It is of some little interest to know he general average of alcohol in wine, 'rom 1,000 gallons of wine they get, n distillation, from 100 to 150 gallons f brandy. President Jefferson said ntoxication would never prevail where rine was cheap; that it was only the Nearness of that, that set men to work voking the "fiery demons" out of ugar-cane, rye, corn, other grains, etc. 5at, having once evoked the demon, te masters them and they can't shake .im off It is like Sindbad and the )ld Man of the Sea. So, if the world emands brandy, of course, the vineards will be turned into it. S It is said that immense quantities of 'Old Rye" travel over to Cognac, and ome back transformed into the best 'rench brandy.?Hartford Times. Meaning of "Mormon." - ; It is not generally known, perhaps, hat "Mormon" is a pure Greek word, ignifyinz a monster. How Joseph ; tVm fn-nnr?pr r?f this troublesome 11 ill VUV AVMUuvk -w?. - ect, hit upon the word is not authen-: 1 ically known. Probably if he had been' ' iware that is was adopted by, the >rnithologists as a scientific name for :ertain web-footed water birds whose grotesque countenances justify the j ippellation, he would hare tried to j lream out a less objectionable title for 1 lis book. ^ ' - * " AT THE DELIVERY WINDOW. !Oie, People "Who Wait for the Letters That Never Will Come. '' "Perhaps you don't know it, but, the j 'place to see tragedies of real life like a . ^anofama is right in here," said a post- ] tvifAro.thp. orArifirjll r>f>at- i office Braiding on Park row. < 1 ."How could one see tragedies in the ' < jrostoffice'r ' 'Til show vou," he said. "Come in ? here." *' z ( ^'/^Datpip stone corridors, very dirty c and chilly; josUing" people, rude aid ? anxious; great "dingy glass' partitions1 s rwith a square little hole in the bottom, .f peinnd which were, seen" at intervals, [ r- be\clerks' faces. Nothing very tragic c ^sfcerat this."; ; ... . f .^?Nb? Wait tf bit. . These are the t s&fcejgii delrvery windows; peppl? con*? a jiere ,?> juruxgu . t KpSdiig ail-thd time.. V It is ^-unending U JE&ron' of tired feet JWatcfi'iem. g^We i4id:' :Tfi6re"\yas" a #"dma?' lead:- \ a little giri. She -was watching ier j fen" to ask at the window. She was j Hiressed in rnsfy black. LShe had' a pret- 5 rtkr "fnno\crif-.h ?. "fpte n?<5rn?t"nr A t ?v? ^ .?.? 1 2*mnkles on -it She looked modest, e Nervous, "anxious. Presently she. got a. j chance and'went up and put her nead ^ dOwrt-tothe little hole. 1 "^'Ariytlhing for Mrs. John ?" E * That's.1 all we could hear. '--^Nothing,"' said the voice of the c eferk "after a moment's delay. . s The woman stepped back, as if the t k's "vt3f(?e>-frad hurt Her. She looked ti down acmoment and then feeling her- a fcelfjosfled Tjy some other anxious ap-' glicant shrunk all together and went ^ :aijray?like a ghost. q 'Z'PoJovl see anything at that?" ask- u ^ my companion. j] 'i.rj&Not much." " . j f "Well, she has been comin<r for a i. month, the day after every steamer. ? She expects a letter from her husband, a and she will never get it" ' ti '-"Why?" t] "Because- when he went away he ? never intended to Write. He went away- j with anotherWomali. T&& wife hasn't' ^ discovered the de'ception'yet You see, a he left her with a kiss, promised to a write by the first steamer, and she has ^ been counting the hours ever since. .1 w cailthis a tragedy. Whenever a heart ^ is?'torn to pieces slowly by villainy there y, u, Lra-guuj. * II "The clcrk at that window gets to ? knbw some of the satf white faces that w come regularly. There is an old - wo- a, .man who .sometimes?Ah! there she is p' now, standing over there waiting for J her chance. Look at her." ? We both stared at her in silence a", J moment Sho mnst have been 50. Btft g. she was still hearty save for the traces -gt of sorrow and toil cn her brown old face. There was a watery expression n, to. her eyes as if she was used to crying. She was poorly clad. A faded shawl was wrapped about her shoulders, and' on oie oi the fingers of her bronzed . hand shone an old wedding-ring,, worn g veryTthin. "She comes once a week and asks forAletter from.Frank," said my com-" p pam6n7she never gtfts it." g( "Who's Frank?" C< ''Well, who can he be? Frank's her. si boy. ^ All you've got to do is to look at tl her to;know the whole story. It's the oldest one on record. She bore him; 11 she nursed him; she wept and prayed p over him: she poured into him all the oi affection, of which a.mother is capable. C She worked till her fingers bled for t* him. Don't you see all that? The first p thing he did when he was able to get B out into the world was to get into dis- t< grace. Then the whole world turned cl against him. That is the whole' with "w one exception. This poor old woman tl stood.by- him. She was getting along ci in life; but she doubled her work; she ci toiled she hoarded, her penni^^e: dej^ea he'rself the neces- hi sariesijiEpfe, b?Mshe got EQoaey enough e] to seL?imtayi^^-a^-iei^<Mmveom- ri mence oyer again. He ought to have jtc be?n thScomiort^nBvgrop "of her old w ag^: But; she never up- ci Xnn/VA1?A/1 ^A1? I W ^BRWPaHgg11MffOsatt oap MUU^UIWU XUA ^ wasteig^-?43i ah^'^csFed" of him k wasr-ia 3oti^ht B^rhCflever;.would S do nght^.^Bnallylhervveat ^way; tak- u iiiffief ISpif'vdbllaJci'He Hadlo go.- He Dl fiea,JK fact.- Bnt he told her he was ^ goi^ to" reform ia a nes^larfa, aadie a l man vandJcdmehackaome dayandtake tl care of her.; Au'df. sierfsaw"' Mm off, '8 hpngjoa lEisneok, couTS" not' tear her tc old arms-away,~you know, becanseshe a.' hadn?^anyi)oay:in the world' butcher a] JVanSJ'-; ' u: "WelVhe will certainly come back d( some'tjnie?1'" ? ni bottom of the Golf'ofT M^jricb. * "T^t1 a tc T,..w1.1r> ?<? A?%Jy . /vU wATr>orT~ . YfJLU?L& XiiUiA. 13, AilU. I?U?.7VAU nvuM?M come?: regularly to look for her letter that jviltfiisver ,comV You'll, seo a & goocfiteal of- fee enfotional'^ide "of; 'life h: at thgfcwicket, -ijEyon knovrhotvfo ill- kj terpretit"?JVistt? iTor-l- &< *. Convict Marrin <*cs> ifr Nefr Caledonia. ^ ' ? ?"' -* r .; W - When; ft-has been;' deci led, after due w inquiry,. that a coupled sayA andJB? mayjaai v ip mHrria^c^it-is sought to tfc excitcm cachr^niie p^t^" an lnieres t bj in each "otbe'r. A is told all about the a< past life of B, and vice-versa; they are ol also shown each: other's photographs ax Then, iftB<s parties do: not - object to to meet, -feii" appointment is made; and w tn'ey/generally see, each, other in the ia parlor of tbe'fem ale "prison in presence of the matron^ As to this, however, the manner of interviews varies; for -< the matron and chaplains may arrange , matters as they please, so that every- r* thing be done with propriety. The intended bridegroom is always in posses^ ra sion of a cottagc and a plot of-land, for he can not marry u$til it is proved J? that he can maintain himself out of the produce of his'holding, eked oat bj the a. wages he may receive as laborer on public works. -Naturally he is not com- 31 pelled to.take the bride whom the au- ^ thorities^iave designated for him. If tK she pleases Mm at- fir^J sight, he gen- w elrally sees irt* two or three times more .or before .a regular ieUgagement is made.- '2* i-' OUO gOCS LU YiSZb UU VUMinge iu wmpany^with a mru; or some employment P* is given lier out of doors in laundry or dairy, where she may be seen in com- ^ parative freedom. When at last the *5 engagement is concluded, the intended bride goes and spends a few days at the Convent of Our Lady of Mercy, P held by the Augustine nuns; and it is ]u there that the marriage takes place witty iu the smallest amount of publicity pos- * sible. * If the parties cannot afford to ^ buya.gold wedding-ring, a1'silver-one is provided for them. After the mar- 111 ria^e the convict couple become pro- SP bationary free colonists tinder certain ^ conditions; they must dress in- brown; 9^ they must not enter any establishment where intoxicating liquors are sold; Sc and they-must not leave their cottage ^ aftej nightfall without a written permit Theso and other restrictions are gradually removed in reward for good C024ttek-,4i& at ;lfcst .the "7?ere conditional becomes a free settler and. pro* ?e pr&tor of his r?iece of land. re r ;jT- ~ 'JO ; <3 i f A Romantic Story from Maine. Some years before the war Otis Burx>n, a former resident of Bangor, left i lere to seek his fortune in tne West 1 3e- drifted to Missouri, where he met m accomplished lady with whom he < ell in love. She was pleased witH him, 1 V* rt VM rt n V\ > 1??i A* i) ft i jut uauic iiv mauu uia juaaiiuu miuwU. ;he moved to a distant part of the >outh. ...., 'J About this time the war broke out, ' tnd the two soon lost all traces of each ' )ther. Burton joined the Union'ariny, ind was soon afterward wounded, and < is it was supposed he would die,' t t letter was sent to his. -mother ( nVAMm'iM/v V* nw fKnf V? A* t?Ar? AAlll UlUiniiU^ UCA lilvU) JLLCl ouu wiuu uvu ive. He, however, was blessed^with a ^ pood constitution, and recovered.. fie t vent back to; his regiment, and was de- t ailed with a companyto take sajipUes tcross the plains. IThe party, was at- 3 aok^d by Indians, and every man -in c he. iprce except JBnrton kiUed.' fie - c troe fn li?en K/irtn cloiri upi^k 4 liw \AJ uawu iiyw* ? he rest "The. Indians deeided,.-tp let 3m'five, and took hjm a jjnsbndr.'to i heir-retreat in the?mountains of. the 3 Southwest . He gradually recovered ;i rom wounds he had received in' the ' 1 ricounter," made himself agreeable tso, | lis captors, and adapted.' nimself' to' c heir ways of living.. - " I After , he had been in captivity; six aonths or more, he was allowed ^more s iberty, and now began to watch for a c hance to escape. The Indians had 1 tolen a number of ponies, and among e hese. was . one.. which. Burton's prac- c iced, eye showed him was highly bred, c nd with speed and endurance.. This s ony was cared fot and* petted by Bur- X j_ t 1 -it. 3 a_ r'f T on, ana ne was aiiowea 10 nae m ? >ne day he strayed away farther than 1; sual, and, though not acquainted with 13 he country, made a dash for liberty, le was closely pursued, but the* gal- 1 int little pony had fife " bottom'' for a s rinning race. He rode.for<tliree day's, 1 nd then began to see that he.fwas get- r ing out of the hostile. counter. In h lie distance he saw a house which he b new' must be inhabited by whites, i [e shouted with: .Joy; feeling that he d adgained freedom at last. Hcknoolced o t the'door of the house, and-a surprise c otaiVajI1>nrri "Tt-. wis nhpnP(T hv "a romanhe had loved in Ian? syne. He b as at once recoghized,ana received a t< earty welcome. Burton, told. his ad- f< entures and narrow escapes to a.yrfll-; o ig listener. Site, too,' told tier stoiry. h he had mailed a Confederate officer, d ho was afterward killed- inbattle, v ad she now owned the iarm she occu- t fed. Is it necessary toteUthe^ rest? a hey were betrothed," there was amer- ti 7 wedding, and the happy couple are s1 411 living in a Southwestern State. C rely in real life are romances as "a range and more interesting ..than ;a lose weaved by the fertile brain of the ;b ovelist?Bangor (Me.) Commercial. g S "Just Like Mother." The wind was * blowing a regular t ale, large snow-flakes were borne [ long, helpless in their lightness, and g< idged here and'there only to be again w icked up by the wind arid piled toether in great drifts. It was -bitter a] )ld, and pedestrians hurried along the xeet, intent seemingly, only, to reach B le fireside of home and family. c .. m In a ^stairway. on.Wisconsin street a. ai ttle ragged fellow, with a bundle of h; apers under his arm, had crawled out ti E the storm, but not . out of the cold, rouching in a heap upon the steys, if icth chattering, too cold to call out his ti apers for sale, he tried to get warm. c< js skeleton arms, his pinched features, ai >ld,"only. too plainly, that he was a- ai -11.2 PAtrayfrr JilU. Ui UiidlUltUUU 1VIWWJ, M*v<? ? ouldst not be so cruel, were it not. lat the world looks upon thee as a m alprit,'and to be.in thy company a m rime. No one observed the little fellow as d< e sat there in the cold. *'Presitly an old lady, warmly,.- but not n< chly clad, came along, and chanced w > see him! She turned into the stair- n< ay, but the boy, used, evidently, to ta affs and kicks, tried to escape her. A ai i assuring smile, on her face and :a I1 ind word, from her lips, held the lad. tie,' dear old soul, knelt down, pinned phis tatters, tied a scarf about his eck, gave him a piece of silver, arid . ith parting words of cheer started to . iave him. Turning again, she clasped ~~ le boy "to her bosom, kissed him, and tezi went on her way. The boy, with ?5 sars on his, cheeks, looked after her, J 5 she passed, down. Wisconsin street, ~L id said: "That is just the way mother sed to kiss mc before she died. I won- ^ 2r if it is her again?" Then, as if a ^ aw impulse and a new life had been 2* jrn.in him, the little newsboy started 7? dispose of his stock in trade. That jt^of kindness, that kiss., so much like other^^-in chzpity-giren, so wanned is heart that the cold winds'of winter , id no terrors for him. And who ~~ aows but what that old lady's kind- ^ 2ss to that ragged, forlorn newsboy t" iU be the turning point in that boy's * fe that, will, in the future, give to the * orld a man of honor, and a. man of hom Milwaukee may well be proud.; ^ There are hundreds of boys all oyer . lis jrreat country who are going to the p. id just for the want of- a kind word or it, like that given by this kind-hearted d German woman. Kind words and sts, with a few dimes, will clo much j" reform fheworld; and reclaim those j~ ho are, by force of circumstances, go-' ^ g to the wrong..?Peck?* Sun. '"Would I Were a Boy Again.* ^ OJd Mr. Wardles was watching;.the ui >vs coasting on one of the streets, and. of i the' cutters were tearing down at the ite of thirty miles an hour, his memo- tr ' traveled back forty years, and he tu lpulsively remarked to a young man so iat he would "give $20,000 if he were boy again." A juvenile with a red so ed ana a red nose heard the remark, te id asked Mr. War dies if he didn't th ant to ride down: Wardles said he ilieved he would try one trip. He eighs 200 pounds, and when he got i tne clipper its joints creaked omi>usly and his eyes sparkled with fun. th tie boys gaye him a good send-off, and as etty soon the sled veered sideways, ha ere was a crash, and Wardles went co td over end for about twenty yards, id then a donble-clipper, containing m t boys, strnck him amidships and med iiim over some more in a most r iieulous and painful manner, and Ci st as he regained his feet another m mper dashed into his legs, and he sat >wn on bis head so emphatically that '' a top of his boot legs protruded"above th e margin of his shirt collar. - He re- an rned. nomc. with a broken rib, a w3 rained ankle, Ms coat split from -Dan ca Beersheba, a handful of bark peeled f his head, and alL the fun banisifed am his eyes. He will be nearly as >od as new in about six weeks, but he hs ys he would rather be 2,000 yeare^old ,"T an to be a boy again. ?Norristown Ji irald. . ...i sb The HilwaBkee Chinaman "<?hO-ln? ndsto enter. Coniell University says; ??] s'has*made $'8i200 as a laundryman m two years. J be \ s Old Jones' Philosophy. . Soapt don't cost -as much &s dia- j monds, but lots o' people don't seem j co oe aDie to anora Dotn. A man that needs forty cents worth ; if whisky to give him an appetite for a fifteen cent dinner always has the dys- 1 pepsia. ^ " I Tifppr fppl <wmfnrf'aKlr> tvhpn J i mail around that smiles all the time. < rhe only dog that bit me never stopped ! ffaggin his taiL ; W'en I see a fellow siftin' two quarts , )? ashes and smokih' a ten cent cigar it wan time, I know he'll git rich dciause he's so ekonomicaL ; j .You show me a man that's alius vorkin' in politics an' P11 show you one 1 ihat gets a darned sight, more and bctar tn pat than hie dn f I dqu't often:ask riddles, but wot do x rou think a family- is likely to have for linnet .wen the old . man: earns. SiSht J idl&trs a wee$ speads four* for.1 Obex,? ! wo for cigars and buys a raiSeiacket? 1 There's a great deal of talk about oiks killing themselves :i>y overwork. j, Phere's.many people, struck- by light- i tin'. Must such critteirs work ei^ht t loorsadayv^ujL^dance; drink or play, ? >oker ten more.. Then, Jw'ea theyireak ^ Lown,.theixwives putonthe tombstone* * )ied of Oveywqijk^^. ' t You can't rely on si^is. Lots of folks ay that a man with b:g ears is generous and stupid. When I was a . ooy.'I 8 rant Ia ?'mrtifc on' iliiK? V?ar1 U aule no bigger than a. ten creek's * all They asked for boys to rkie the Titter, an' I sez, /'"he's -only a mirie, - : si' he's got bigears. He must be stn- p ?id an1 he won't play me- no tricks.'' q V?en they .-took ;me . home my- lather o icked me for bein' afool^an.' said he'd I ike to give the mule a mcdaL Wen-I was a-boy wehad a big yal- j er dog that hadn't as much sense as a y heep er as much pluck as a chipmunk. w "hat dog wouldn't have fought a cana- ti we "?new it and he knew.it, but e.-kept up an awful sight Of bluster an' low just lhe same as-if we didn't all v now just what it was. worth. Every ? ay a big black cur as cowardly * as f' ijrn used to go by; with a butcher's art, an them two dogsf would run. up n1 down, on different sides*of the fence, ?( arkia' fit to kill: an? just as if r they'd P: vSjt ofVini* nrvif it wnsn'f. for flia ti snce. One flay, the two got after each c' ther an' it happened' that some one ; ad left: the gate open so-*H of ?' sud- s< eat they cape opposite each other si 'Ith no thing between: Well, sir,them. ir svodogs Just stopped, an? looked at fa acfr otner for t mirmit> then they put ieic tails between their legs an' cut ^ ticks in different directions, as if the 0j Id' Mck Was after 'em. There's piles a n' piles o' inen that's a heap more q, nxious for a fi^ht w'en there's a fence etween em, than w'en they're on clear round.?Waiter Buell, in Cleveland entinel. - , . : . *. - mim sc Preaching and-Practice. ? > "See here, Mr. Blank, what-are yon K oing out for to-night?5' asked Mrsi B. m ith a threatening look. > cc "Big _poHticaL meeiingto night, ^ n( pologeticafiy explained Mr. B. "Political meeting, eh?1.' echood Mrs. . "You have been going to political v.? lectings every night- for' five weeksi T~ id if it bad not been for me you would ? qvd ronrn rnnr Knnfc M nrortr mei? .. . . ; _ "But jost think how nice it would be I should get nominated for some- & ting? Thmfc of the loads of money I & >uld rake in, and the nice furniture, m id new clothes, and sealskin sacques, ld^?" 81 "That will do," interrupted Mrs. B. oc [ have heard that story Defore. You di ade a speech last night at a ward pi eeting, I see." ., ft 'Yes," responded Mr. B. with par- ea indWo nri/lp - ..i "And f see by the two or three line ^ )tice that the burden of your remarks ^ as 'the office should seek the man and '' )t the man the office.' Now you just v Jce off that overcoat; sit right "down ? id if any office comes along and knocks fr will let it in-5'?Philadelphia Call. Outwitting a Fog. ? W! A scientist while out. in a boat one girt on a river in Florida, was caught ^ a fog so dense that he could 'not ^ e twenty feet ahead: The boatmen ^ o'pped rowing, and said thej would je ive to wait for daylight or till the log eared away, as they did not know in . bat direction to steer. The scientist lowed them. what science can do for a 2, an in anemergeacy.. He saya :. I at ~ ice stood up in the boat and hallooed. >on the echo came back. Pointing in e direction from which the echo * ime, I said: "There is the nearest r : B Rowing a half-mile in the^ctireStiilll. ^ the echo, we soon reached the land ^ Ld "coasted" home. The boatmen th pressed great surprise that they bad 3n sen on the river all their lives and g? id never thought of so simple and sy a plan to find shore when lost in di tor. A knowledge of so simple a ov c? saved me many, a dismal Sour, yc ght and day, too, on the. river, yi shermen to whom I have commnni- w< .ted this have told me a knowledge of wi is would often have saved them nom. bole nights of useless toil, and would ^ ive been worth hundreds of dollars ^ ..their business. Steamboat pilots* ay also be benefited. I have seen ae em run ashore with the echo, striking ^ em in the teeth. During a fog the ar mosphere is so saturated with moist e that it is a much better conductor sound than when dry. ; - re Two results follow: First, sound ? ? avels faster, and hence the echo rerns more speedily; and second, the und is heard more distinctly. Remembering these two facts, a ner- 10 el with a little practice can. soon dermine the approximate' distance of br e nearest land or woods. ~ & ? ? - p Something to Talk O? ^ One day last fall a farmer entered ca e office of a Chicago capitalist and su ked for an interview, and when this d been granted he spread out a nc unlry map on the table, and said: at "I've got an enterprise here to roll ch illions of wealth into our pockets." to wear-. - / hi ?Caa . IXai?a of Ir j* ai> VUIO WV/U in eek and.'Possum River are only five wj ties apart" * "I sec." = SI ,4A canal cut across this ncck connects m e tyro,, I've been over the ground, m td "a.canal ten feet deep and fifty feet tu ;de can be dug for $250,000; and we m n charge-such toll as we se fit" m "On what?'? ,. - - pi "On all vessels passing through."; f0 "Just so. My friend. Coon Creek i01 is an average depth of two feet and Sp tossum Creek about fifteen inches: ce ist. think of some plan to get your w( ips up'to thecanaL" iv< The'farmer slowly rolled up ?is map.. fa "Darn my buttons," he muttered; ggj jut I hadn't tho^ht of the ships, f y0 less I'll give up tne canal and go to toj >ring for salt''? Wall Street News. f0I WIT AND HUMOR. A sign in New 'York City reads: <!/" <-_r J.- i? vrvin/ s men, juresu iroiii uie tow. The Chicago pork-packer's son learns bis Latin this way: "Hie, hock, hog." If there is any tree that may be said to be the backbone of the forest, its? pme. - "2 It makes a married man mad to pay ?27 for a bonnet that he has to loos ;wice to see. ,-J ' "There will be less loud .dressing of w ? ;h'e hair hereafter. Bangs are .going rat of fashion. Professor in Fhysies?"What's Boyle's aw?" Diligent Junior?-''Never trump ''our partner's ace." < . j Barnum's greatwhite elephant ?ymn . ; < or next season will "be*".Tnst as Siam. without one' flea^?Herchcait Traveler. A Bostonman, who had, beenin. C^liBsr broked^toe* to identify- himself to us,reIatiYes. Aaalleged'Mldininelias been found .. a South Carolina and na <ned lie "Lily ~A iangtry."' It will probably turn out b^be a brass'mihe. ?Buffalo Express. A -Des Moines youth who; received he present of- a haod^pamfced white atinhat .crown from iis^girl didn't sow what it was and bad-it iramed. St. Louis^papera~are telling about tie appearance of a - monster with a ead like a snake and a body like an lligator." That city is too near Peoria, y Some deadly enemy of St "Louis has ublished: that in her 'courts'the first uest-ion opposing council:"ask each ther is '.'are you armfid^'?Chicago 'ye. A Massachusetts paper .says that all 'exas citi^ns''wear':theix hats over leir. ears. How do' you suppose they... ^ _ ? oiud .look if they W6re them reader ieirears? A socieiy^ye?ng?lady told her illiter- > te, but wealthy, lover that she was . oing to give a german, and he said e'd be sure to coine, as he was very >nd'bf-beer. /"/; A decline1 in "the "price of copper is , oted, but the small boy should -not reine thereat^'JIis.mothers copper sttle will still aell-for the ;price of a reus ticket' ' . . * Z' " ... *0 "Civilization on her luminous wines - ^ >ars in the'direction of ffceno, Nev., lys the Sacramento Bee. '"The squaws ' i that vicinity have taken to using tee powder." - , 0. . , V ./ "I will accept anything-else in politics ; a necessity Jbuta post?ce .fight in. a small town/" exclaims Congressman. 4 They surpass earth- . aakes and cyclones." - ? Somebody asked the four-year-old >n of one of our citizens what ' he ould do if ;his_ father died..: * 'Why,'' * id the youngster, "Fdwear my new x)ts to the funeral r7 . "Is it wrong fo cheat alawyer?" was icently very ably 'discussed.. by the embers of a; debating society. The,. ' >nciusion amved. at'was, that is-*feesj>-^^ "m ^ )t wrong but impossible. ' The man who sprinkles his icy sidealk, in order to prevent pedestrians om iauing, is sure ?i a neaveruy >me. Like the pboenrrThe "wxH rise om his ashes.?Boston;Budget. A Wyoming man recently* blew out s brains because he had'the'rhenma- ' ;m. If he thought that his rheumasm was caused- by too much brains he ust have been badly mistaken. - : John Bright^ the noted Englishman, V aokes a good deal aid drinks whisky S: ***** icasionafly. That story about Bright's sease must.be nothing bat apolitical atform, invented by an enemy.' "I do wish you would come home .riier," said a woman to her husband; l am afraid to stay alone. I always k A MMVI A 0A??IAfk>M/W in 4?Vk rt llKHdA LOgiU^ n aniiir.Liiriiv"m Hj UULL37) it when you come I know there ain't. "I'm all wool and a yard ..wide!" outed a cow boy as he gave'his sqmero an extra side hitch, and looked r a foe. "Tha? may be," replied an idaunted female, "but you don't - ask" "Maiy," said a landlady to her green ~ red girl, 'twas the boarder on the ird Hoot inebriated when he came in st nfeht?" "No, mum; he was so funk he couldn't get ut> stairs, and I t him sleep in theoa^k nalL" A far Northwest debating society, tying organized itself into the form a court,, has rendered a verdict that ain was temporarily insane and irre onsiWe when he slew ADei, tnus rersing the opinion of the Supreme >urt - ' < Why is the tramp like a servant girl? &cause he. lives out by the month. ay minstrel show or^circus desiring ik g_Jjfi?-4i^above sfiould send^jg*1"*^ , eir orders iuwKiMt^y,"1JU* ireare st clearing out our fall stock at a eat sacrifice.' it your wile taints do not-*'spoil ner ess "by dashing a pitcher of water er her. Loudly kiss the back of. >ur hand. She will immediately reFe, and want to know whom you are kissing. >v Do not. tell her, and she ill not faint any more.. It is all well enough to advise a man; "keep his hands out of his pockets; rt liow 'in the world is a man going; -? -do it if he has a wife who wants a w bonnet and silk dress every-week,say nothing of caramels, ice-cream, Ld a box at the ooera? ' .* > .. -*f t-csm -rAn exchange asks: "Has anybody ally found the comet with the naked e? ' This tire firttl&timation we ive had that a comet,'with a naked , e, has been lost It must be a great riosity, and it is_hoped. it will be and.?Norristown JtLeraUl"Do you know why [ am likethe new idge at Niagara?" .asked yoxrng Blifns of pretty Miss Sinithers.-: He extcted her to give it up, and-" then he iuld have rung ;in a p^n.on cant-irer, hut she replied: "It must be beuse you are without visible means of pport" * A young lady recently received a X * "L ^ ixuiii a _yuLuig uiou ui uer aulaintance, soliciting her company , for urch, and, as lie had never offered take her anywhere else she accepted s kind offer and closed the note with e.solemn declaration that "salvation as free." - . . ' -v. Got, the actor, being.- recently in .a nail town in the south of France, vol-. iteered for a' benefit for the poor. Hfo ime drew, large crowds. The mayor rned over innis prosy and pompous ~ ind what he could do in acknowledged He invited the actor, to a com imentary breakfast, and . placed here an egg in which ten golden ais were concealed. Got' took a oonfui, and disccrrerijiwthe contents, ased eating. The;other; guests,, who >re in the secret, patched^m attentr ;ly, and the hostesSJnquirekl why he i not finish-"the egg.-0 "Madam;** he jiied, never touch t^eyolfc^-i'Bo ii throw it away?" she asked with as" v*. T -i - ixoiixucuu no, i aiways leave it the poor." ' - ' ' -^48