The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, February 20, 1884, Image 1
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: _ . _ .. ' _ - ' " ^ " ? ~
WINNSBORO, S. C., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1884. I
__
An "It" Which Saved
a Life.
|R R- .Tnhn<! in Ti?elftv's Mncazin^.l
I was sauntering down Regent street
one evening, as twilight camc on, when
I suddenly ran np against my old friend,
James Kay ton, whom I was as glad to
see as he to give me a hearty greeting.
''Whence comest thon, O dreamer ?n
-? * ~ ' were his first words, "and whither art
thon bound, wandering on in this blundering
fashion, and driving even an old
friend off the curb into a slush of
mud?"
"A thousand pardons, Rayton,'* said
I. "You were the very last man to
come into zuy thoughts, and I am
of tVin i'^oi nf vonr dress boots
u. v^v. J
in such weather as this. But, come
home, man, and smoke a quiet pipe
with me, and we will talk over all that
has chanced since yon and I discussed
that strange dream of old 'Stragen,'tho
Dutchman, on board the Nile boat."
Half an hour later found us by the
aide of a cosy fire, with a fine aroma of
Latakia floating about us.
"You were talking just now," said
Rayton, at last, "of that queer dream in
the Nile boat. I can tell you a much
queerer story now, that chanced here,
not so many years ago, in this very
PoV?t-1a? if T-nn trt Tipar if:."
IVilj U JVwk ?v ?
"Cars to hear it?" saidl. "Of course
I do. But first give me chapter and
verse, witness and authority?most sage
of necromancers."
"Wen," replied Bayton, "all I can
give you, by way of chapter and verse,
is briefly this: The dream, if it was
one, has been told over and over again,
-for years past, at our club, the Megajtherium,
and is firmly believed in by all
Mjggj^^ltbemen -who know Osborne, what a
^^^^^?|B?iNWfi65^jkepti?j>ys^how slow to
fait- of iiimse!!, ana utterly ^fcLo?a7iv>
i~ ~ of all dream lore and stories of dreamers.
You must remember (Voome
^ yourself?"
- "What! the gray-haired, wiry little
- barrister," said I, "who had rooms in
Dixie's court?"
"The very same man. Well, one
. * evening in September, about 7 p.m.,
Osborne came out of the club, and
..... _ slowly descended the broad steps into
;r the -well-lighted street. As he did so,
he chanced to glance across the way at
^ an opposite gas-lamp, when, to
H a his utter amazement, he saw staud
tag underneath it, in the full blaze
of light, his own identical self; his own
. white hat, C3ne, dress, figure, tout enK
w ? _ semblo. He looked once and again,
but there was no mistake whatever.
There he was, like Cerberus, two
gentlemen at once.' 'Oh! it must be
Smiife/ he thought (the practical joke
man who was always 'rigging' some
. fellow or other), purposely dressed
up.after his, Osborne's, cwn fashion.
He therefore ran across the road to detect
the said Smith, but, to his further
astonishment, when he reached the
eas-lamu. the practical joker was coolly
standing on the club steps which he
I himself had just left. As he re-crossed
. the road, his seeming double descended
.. the steps, and gravely walked down
"TSfcjzssm Place Jill he got to the next
' ' street, -where he turned the corner and
. 7 disappeared.
'Til have raj revenge," tlionglit
: Osborne, as he strode wratlifully
down the broad pavement, 'when
* - ' I catch that .fellow to-morrow.' Meanwhile,
he walked on.
? "At the centre of Ebrington street,
as everybody knows, is a mighty gaslamp,
which flings a broad ray of light,
north, south, east, and west, into the
gloom of four diverging right lines.
Standing under the shadow of that gaslamp
was now to be seen, clearly, unmistakably,
the thing with a white lxat,
?. bearing the well-known cane, and dressed
as Osborne dressed.
"What was to be done? In his extreme
hurry and agitation, Osborne
nearly dashed up against the post, de
VTA UMIICU nv gvv caw AAW iAiv*iu
demand an exjunction. Bnt no sooner
had he reached the lamp than the thing
was gone.
- Atrihis Osborne began to feel ccdd
and chilly; in fact he was frightened.
He-clenched his stick, pulled his iat
firmly over his brow, -walked resolutely
on, and tried to think that the whole
affair was the mere bilions result of indigestion;
but-all in vain. He knew,
full well, that he was in perfect health
at that moment, as he had been for
months. He had-tried walking fast, he
would now try a slow pace; but neither
availed him in the least.
"At every main street corner,
there stood the thing looking like
Smith, -whether really he or not. But,
. at last, when Osborne was almost desperate?it
vanished. It was with great
satisfaction, therefore, that he at length
rang at the doorway leading to his lodgings,
in one of the highest rooms of
which, the next to the roof, was his peculiar
sanctum.
- "He half expected, as the door swung
back, to catch a glimpse of the ghostly
likeness of himself, peeping over the
servant's shoulder. But, ail was as
usual. Mrs. Tom kins, sleepy and
grumbling, gave him a lighted bed-room
candle, growled out, 'Good night,' and
disappeared. The three flights of stairs
- . - - . vera soon cleared, and in a few mo^
meats his hand turned the well-known
door-handle. The door opened as
jV usual; the fire blazed cheerily: the
servant, knowing Osborne's punctaaKty,
had lighted both his
candles. His arm chair was in his
favorite place, between the tcble and
fere, bat it was not, as usual, unoccupied.
There, in his own chair, reading cosily,
with his .back to the door, sat the thing,
shade, spectre, or whatever you choose
I - to call it.
"This was-a climax beyond bearing.
^ . At the sight of it, Osborne flung down
i japanned candlestick, cleared flights of
stairs as with seven-leagued boots,
joshed through passages, annihilated
. : - HrS^Tompkins, and at last breathed
freely^shen once more in the crowded
. street. night he tried to sleep at
' : aneighbor&g hotel?not successfully,
asmay b^st^posed. The nest morning,
with infikite misgivings, he made
.. up his mind to go to his chamber as
"usual. On his\arrival there, he found
the house full of C' istle and confusion.
During the niglrfc a hugh beam, supporting
the roof, aad given away, and
coming down with\a great crash had
dashed his bedsieafi into a dozen fragments.
Had he slept there as usual ho
would have been a^ one of the fragments."
I
"After that," addeSk Kayton, "Osborne
changed his lodgiJJgs."
"No man could do othe^^ise," said I.
"But what does Osbor^ say to_tho
story now, after all these -tiow
did he loot when he told it
"Well," replied my friend/nte^\?ays
was queer, as you know, ancTOl^
in his manner?but that day at thcq
club he was queerer and paler than j
?ver. He told the storv once, but
-i
woura never xen ic again; some ox tne
fellows in the smoking-room quizzed
him unmercifully. But, all the same,
in spite of quizzing they believed the
! storv?and Osborne sticks to every
j word of it. Smith, the joker, chaffed
' lika one day about it, bnfc he got such a
; look from Osborne,?who at the same
| time knocked his hat off?that he never
: tried chaffing again."
"And you, Ray ton," I asked, "what
do you say ?"
i "My dear fellow, what can I say? I
i heard liim tell the story; it was cuincuii
j not to believe it when you looked at
j such a face, and, besides that, in Osborne's
case, there was something like a
reason lor an interference or something
more than human power, providence,
I or what you wilL It saved a man's
j life."
Monster rapes.
("RuhamahV Santa Barbara Letter.]
Eastward over the hills lies Mon|
tecito, a scattered settlement.of beautiful
estates that stretches down the four
mile slope from the mountains to the
1 cm Trns flm hnrrtfi nf thai
i wonderful old grapevine that was ex:
hibited at the Centennial. The old
grapevine was 81 years old at
the tin.e it was cut down and sent east
; for exhibition. Its trunk was fifteen
; inches in diameter, and it produced
five and six tons of the common Missouri
grapes each season. The Spanish
family who owned the old vine
! had the arbor for a dancing floor, and
i high revels used to be held under
the great canopy of leaves.
A family of good Ohio people have
succeeded to the ownership of this his;
toric place, and consider it no advantage'
to have a score of curious people
corning tliere every week to take a
look at the other great grape vine that
: now ranks as the largest vino in the
I state.
i The present prize grape vinegss^
from a cutting from th?~^f5ous 0ld
""TliTe, and was set ?rattwenty-seven years
ago. Already its trunk is twelve inches
in diameter, and it spreads a thick canopy
of leaves over an arbor sixty feet
| square. One drives under it with a
: carriage, and looking np like a fox in
i the fable, sees immense purple clus
; ters of the sourest grapes he is ever
j likely to tast6. The little girl who
I brought a chair for us to stand on could
i hardly hold the heavy clusters. We
picked and passed some to her, and
after looking at the countless four and
five-pound bunches that hung all over
the arbor, we believed the story of their
gathering three tons of grapes from
I this one vine last vear.
"
a iTlma Donna's Relatives.
i Gen. Lew "Wallace is a figure in literature
and politics that does not become
any less by reason of his absence. It is
i not generally known that he is a brothi
* f "rr v i n ? xl^ ^ A
er-m-iaw 01 z.eiaa oegxun, me yicun
. contralto. A correspondent from the
I north-west tells about it in the following
; fashion:
I met Dave Wallace during the AbI
bott engagement, and had a talk with
; him. Dave is partially off duty this
; season, and is a good man to chat with,
j Mr. Wallace served last year as treas(
urer for the Max Strakosch company,
j and is just now arranging for a comI
pany under his own management, with
! his -nrifA as tlie star.
Mr. Wallace, by the way, is a man
| of ratlier noted connections. His father
: was at one time governor of Indiana,
! And a man honored by his constituency.
: The well known author of "The .Fair
j God" and "Ben Hur"?two widely read
I novels?Gen. Lew "Wallace, is a brother.
! Gen. Wallace is now serving as United
j Skates minister to Turkey, and, with
; his wife, is living at Constantinople,
j Mrs. Wallace- that is, Mrs. Lew Walj
lace?is, like her husband, a very grace,
ful writer, and man\ of my readers will
! recall a series of letters in The Cen1
Ir? fwA CLCrr\ Ipf?
j IUIJ Othk JLLC C? JVU* v* ?'?V -WW
| ters from 2sew Mexico and Arizona,
i and very sarcastic ones. One of Mr.
j Wallace's most noted relatives is his
I charming and model wife. Zelda Sei
guin, who shares the honors with Miss
J Abbott during the present season of
j English opera. Mrs, Zelda Seguin is
| one of the most noted living contraltos,
i and her performance in the "Gypsy
j scene" in "II Trovatore" is one of the
j finest pieces of acting and singing that
i have been witnessed on the stage in
j this generation.
j. In talking with a member of the Abj
bott company about Mrs. Seguin, he
i o ttoW Tioartv frrfhutfi to lier rftlier
ions principles and her pluck in adhering
to them. The Strakosch company,
with whom she was traveling, was
billed to open "the season a year or two
ago for a St. Louis theatre. On reaching
the city the manager was
apprised of a fact with which
he had not been acquainted
and that was that the opening was ad
I vertised for Sunday evening, Mrs.
! Seguin, -who had a leading part, refused
to appear, and the door A the house
had to remain closed. At another time
Mrs. Seguin was with a company just
beginning its season?I think it was
j Abbott's. She found the company
j billed to appear in an Indiana city on a
I Sunday evening and at once notified
| the manager that she wished to sever
! her connection with it, as she wouldn't
I travel with a troupe that did not respect
| the Sabbatic
His Last Chance.
[New York Journal]
As Mr. Popperman threw himself on
j the sofa last Monday evening, and took
tip tne evening paper, ms rae saia to
him: "Charles, I went to a wedding
to-day."
"Did yon, indeed ?" said he. "Whom
did you mariy?"
""What an ideal I saw a conple marI
ried in church."
i "Oh."
"Yes. They were married according
I to the latest fashion."
"The latest fashion? What is that?
! For the bride and groom to give
j presents to all the guests ? What did
j you get?"
"No, no. I mean the latest fashion
; in regard to entering the church.
! Formerlv vou know the bride and
! groom both came down the same aisle.
; Now, when the couple leave the cari
riage at the entrance of the church,
| the bride comes down the aisle followed
! by her maids, but the groom goes
} around the corner, comes in at the side
i door, and meets the bride at the altar."
| "What's that? Do you say that the
t groom goes around the corner and
i comes in at the side door?"
I <4Y6S
"That's a splendid idea."
"Why?"
! "'Cause it gives him a good chance
! to sret awav."
Giants in Those Days.
[Scientific American.]
i A party of Italian scientists have just
| returned from an expedition to the
J south Pacific, having proved to their
i .own satisfaction that a race of giants
konce existed in Patagonia. In wanderover
Terra del Fuego they found
bodfvs of marvelonslv larcre aiza
GOULD AND KEENE. j
The Two Xoted Trail Street Operators
Contrasted.
(Philadelphia Press.]
Probably no two men on the street
differ so -widely in temperament as do J
these two operators. Tliey both have !
in them the elements of unpopularity, j
and that's about all they have in com- i
mon. The unpopularity of each, how- j
ever, will be wrought for very different j
reasons. Keene would be generally
unpopular because he is indifferent as
to the opinions of othe:*s, and is some- ;
what. frrif-jiKlo in disposition. and not
always agreeable in manner. Gould, i
on the other hand, while not seeking j
the favor of those with whom he comes
i in contact, is not averse to its bestowal, j
; and in temper and manner is as soft .
and fine to the social touch as the wool j
of the lambs whose symbols he has j
; lleeced by the thousands.
Gould is said to have some kindly
1 traits, but they are not so plentiful j
that he carries them around with him j
during business hours. Probably no j
; man in the world has so many and so
: fji-eat opportunities as he to assist
! others in money-getting, by merely
i speaking a truthful word now and then. ;
: Yet. if he has a business friend who lias
! not lost money on words and opinions
; uttered by him, or through his office, j
i within the past two years, it is because i
i that frie'nd has not heeded his utter!
anees.
! Keene, on the other hand, while he is !
j unstable and suspicious, and neither in- j
! vites nor accepts confidences, is above j
j any little petty misrepresentations for J
the purpose of sticking an acquaintance j
with a few hundred shaAs of stock, j
If Gould should give an *inion to a
i -man r\f rn nr? nrafrp rnp.ins tflc a certain
I stock -was a safe purcha^K abcmt as :
i^ucbj^iianc^coa],^^
i upon, the varying winds of March;
j while Keene, if he could be induced to
: give an opinion at all, and if he bej
lieved his opinion was to be acted
i upon, would express himself sincerely
and on his best judgment Of course,
this does not apply, in either case, to
utterances made to active traders in the
market?it is considered entirely the
proper thing on Wall street to deceive
any one who might exert the smallest
fraction of influence on the market's
! general course.
I A P^Ttr a fn-nr cx/31f.n*r<2 ftnrl A !
j?U6WJ M AWfl ? ?
few legislators, have made money ;
tlirongh Gould's office points, but the
; line must be drawn there. The more
j faithful the service, the more close the
i relation, the greater the confidence re!
posed by an associate or friend, the
j greater the official loss inflicted. This,
i at least, cannot be said of Keene. In
no respect do these great operators
differ so widely as in business scope. j
Keene is a speculator, pure and sim- !
pie, and so thoroughly imbued with its
spirit that he has never made his mark
! in a single outside enterprise. He is
! one of the ablest and most expert operj
ators in that line, however, that ever
j came to Wall street, and had it not been j
! for one mistake?that of extending himi
self into every branch of speculation, i
I and particularly liis dealings in "privileges"?lie
would now have $1,000,000 I
for each $100,000 that he has.
But Gould is one of the shrewdest j
and most successful speculators in the j
world, and at the same time the organ- i
izer and promotor of stupendous business
enterprises. One of the surest evidences
of Iris wonderful ability is the
class of men with which he has become |
surrounded, and of whom he is the j
1 O? O COA- I
I lu&uer* JUL?S IB XLVI oai.iU.V4 vi WWJJV
ciates outshining him, and so well poised
is Lis leadership that his staff is not
jealous of his supremacy, which is so j
naturally attained and so discreetly exercised
as not to irritate those who ac
knowledge it. Keene is agile, needle- j
witted, and bold in his operations;
Gould is slow, patient, deliberate, broad
and conscienceless in his.
The Bed Man's Welcome to Yillard.
[Iron Bull, of the Crows, at the Spike.]
This is the last -<f it?this is the last
thing for me to do. I am glad to see
you are here, and hope my people of
the Crow nation are srlad to see you,
too. There is a meaning in my part of !
the ceremony, and I understand it. The J
end of onr lives is near at hand. The I
days of my people are almost numbered
; already they are dropping off
like the rays of sunlight in the western
sky. Of onr once powerful nation
there are now but few left?just a little
handful, and we, too, will soon be gone.
After the savage, though, has given
way to civilization, the whites will
come. They will enjoy the same bright
skies, the same glad sunshine, the
beauteous mountains, lakes and rills,
where once we delighted to roam. They
will probably live in' it, populate it with
the flowers of their race, but will they
forever remain in undisturbed possession
of this grand domain ? Who knows |
but that some race, at present unknown,
will make its appearance and overpower
and take away the land from them, too ?
Then, as the last chief of the pale face
nation stands before the conqueror,
will he bid him welcome to his all, to i
his home, to his life, to his very soul,
with more, earnestness and with as
much sincerity as his red brother welcomes
him now ? I am glad to see you
A Judicious Darkey.
[Texas Sittings.]
Old Uncle Mose had never been to
the theatre, but having struck up bills
for a theatrical troupe and having received
a complimentary ticket to the
gallery, he concluded to attend the performance.
He went dressed up in his
Sunday attire. He had not been inside
of the theatre more than an hour when
he emerged shaking his head.
" Mi r .n
"JJon t you iiKe zae periormance, oia
man ?" asked the surprised doorkeeper.
"No, sab, I don't like dem performances
no way ye kin fix it."
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Nuffin' much, 'ceptin' a 'oman on de
platfum got to talkin' 'bout family 'fairs
wid de husband ob anudder 'oman, an'
I didn't perpose to stay. My ole
marster in Virginny got shot plum ter
pieces for doing dat berry foolishness, j
Dars allers trouble wbar dat sort j
ob foolishness is gwine on, an' Ise a
judishus nigger, I is. I don't want ter j
be siiot in ae leg Dy misiaKe, or oe
brunged up as a witness in de case when
it spikes de courts."
The Climate for Good Voices.
[Exchange.]
An English newspaper says American
singers have made a much greater
mark in Great Britain than American
actors, notwithstanding the conspicuous
absence in America of long-established
academies and colleges of music.
"The climate," it adds, "clear and dry
as it is, will scarcgjy account for the
number of srood voices produced in
America, for one effect of the American
climate is apparently to pinch the
throat and cause the high-pitched tones
and the usual twang by which the
enunciation of so many Americans is
marked."
/
/
THE "VAN-DEN-BELTZ" FAMILY
An Old Lady of Sew Brunswick (!?.
J.) Tells of a Reigning; Family's
-1'nteecclents["R.
D. B." in Chicago Herald]
Tlte old lady sipped ner tea complacently.
" ' Corn-jcl' Vanderbilt's people," she
went on, half retrospectively, "were
not, of course, people that -we would
have been apt to know personally,"
and sho smiled at her granddaughter.
T A /IAOI AP 4iKaii>
CUUT5U A iiCd? a u^ai v*
doings now, but it makes no impression
on me, except as illustrating the
power of money and impudence." At
this point The Herald man ventured
to ask if the Vanderbilts had
really not descended from an ancienl
Dutch family called "Van der Bilt."
"No sir," thundered the old lady, "f
have seen this statement going the
rounds before, and it is an impudent assumption.
The old and honored name
/Iatx.'KAHT O mirfnra TTrtMon/5
19 V (lU'UUU'UCLUO U UUAUIUV V4 dkAVAAWUM
anil Flemish. In the sixteenth" century
it was simplified to Yan Den Belt.
Those who came to Long Island finally
got ifc down to Van-Belt, and now the
old family are known as 'Van Pelt.1
The Vanderbilts?I don't know where
they came from. They claim?o!r at
least, old 'Corned' used to say to my
uncle, Abram "Wykoff, who knew him
well, when Corneel used to keep the' old
tavern down there, that 'he was Dutchj
but didn't know how much Dutch he
was.'" "What
are your reminiscences of the
original Yanderbilts?" The Herald correspondent
ventured to ask.
"Oh, I hardly know?let me think.
You see my family never knew tlie'm, oi
course. Dear, dear, no. If they had'noi
got so rich, and in everybody's mouths,
I suppose I would have forgotten them
"'altogether.^ see"?and the
granddaughter fiile^u^anothercup oi
tea. The kind old lady sippeisi^the
while deep in thought. "I wasfnto:
eight miles from here, and I was 12yeari
> > ? < t j. -
cua wnen o. came in iuwu w buuuui.
j Tlien the 'Raritan house' was; :in jfnl
blast. 'C. Vanderbilt, proprietor.' ]
remember was on a big sign. W<
school girls, I know, for several summers
used to go down town past the
steamboat docks and up on Shuneman'f
j hill, to pick blackberries. We wer?
always a little shy of Vanderbflt's hotel
for even away back in those days it was
rough. But old Mrs. Vanderbilt wa?
kind and good, aud when she wasn'l
too busy scrubbing and so on, sh<
always had a kind word for us. Sh<
was a young woman then, and vigorous,
I and how she did work. Of cours<
we girls from "up-town" didn'i
dare to let anybody know thai
j >IC CTCI OyWAO WV ttiij V* IfUV JLUAVVJL/^i.
people, but she was good to us. Manj
a glass of milk I've had from her. Bui
I never liked to see her serve out run
to people. She did that while 'Corneel
was away. The boy?the first boy
William?he's now the great William H.
I remember well as a chubby-faced lit
tie chap about 10 or 11 years old. Hi
father used to bring shad up in his
shallop in the spring?Hudson rivej
shad. Mrs. Vanderbilt used to have ?
market for it always and the boy woulc
deliver it about. I know in our ..ok
boarding-school we never could get^ujd
in the spring till Capt. wV,anderbiltfi
shallop got in. Since they've all got sc
rich, a story came out that young "Van
derbilt's veritable old basket in whicl
he used to carry the shad is still in existence
here, but that is untrue. Th?
boy never had a basket. He carried
the shad strung on a hickory 'withe,
such as they used to have in the old
days. I remember it welL"
"When did the Vanderbilts leave New
Brunswick, madam ?"
"Oh, that I couldn't tell you. I left
sfllionl about 1833. and I believe the'v
were here then. I remember hearing
it said that more children were bore
here, but then, you see, we never kne^
them at all?tliey were, of course, nol
in our circle. Since they hare growr
so rich we naturally know of them and
hear of them, and remember who the;
are, but that is all. I remember old
Mrs. Yanderbilt most kindly. She was
a good, motherly woman, and, by hei
thrift, excellent sense and untiring industry,
I've heard said, she made 'Corneel's'
fortune. I am glad to have seer
you, sir. You will excuse me now
Whilfl I alwavs like to talk of old times
I'm just now a little tired."
He Carried, the Last Flag.
[Arkansaw Traveler.]
"Talk about my war record." said an
Arkansas orator at a political meeting
"my war record is a part of the state's
history. Why, gentlemen, I carried th<
last Confederate flag through this
town."
"Yes," replied a bystander, "for ]
was here at the time."
"Thank you for your fortunate rec
ollection," gratefully exclaimed the or
ator. "It is pleasant to know that there
still live some men who move asidf
envy and testify to the courage of theii
fellow-beiners. As I sav, gentlemen
my -war record is a part of the state's
history, for the gentleman here will teU
you that I carried the last Confederate
flag through this town,"
"That's a fact," said the man w'ju:
had witnessed the performance. He
carried the last Confederate flag
through this town, and he carried it sc
blamed fast that you couldn't have told
whether it was a Union jack or a smallpox
warning."
"Oar First. Daughter."7
[New York Post.]
It is told of the wife of Buchanan's
first postmaster general, Mr. Brown,
that she had been married before, and
liarl Tier 'hns'hnTxl and ha/1 a
daughter by the first marriage. Ther
they had another daughter. Mrs
Brown used to present the daughters at
her receptions in this way: "This is
Miss Brown, Mr. Brown's daughter bj
his first wife; this is Miss Sanders, my
daughter by my first husband, and this
is Miss Brown, our joint daughter I"
What's In Their Names.
[Chicago News.]
It is developed that Jay Gould's froni
name is Jason, that Dio Lewis is Diocletian
Lewis, and the editor of The
New York Tribune Jacob Whitelaw
Reid. This reminds us that the gentlemau
we call Frank Hatton rejoices in
the imposing name of Francesca da
Rimini Hatton, and Charles A. Dana'f
middle name is Augustus.
a i^inanclal Lav.
[Arkansaw Traveler.]
"And you wont pay me?"
"No, sir."
"You acknowledge that you owe
me?"
"Yes, sir, and I've got the money."
"HV) uroll t.TiAn_ vat! nAA^n't r>av mo.
I didn't think you liad the money. It's
when a man ain't got it that we want
ltiTn to pay. As long as you've got the
money keep it, but when you find yourself
without means remember that I
must be paid." v A
thousand Texas convicts are to bt
employed in reducing iron ore.
1
r1 e
defeat.
[Edgar Fawcett in Harpers.]
By bitter pilgrimage he sought to win
Those far dim towers that he would roam
within.
I
I Through paths of peril, loud with dying '
groans, ! . !
. wV^'fA wfK VmmQTl
j oyuv> li ^jfco^ixio \jl lauvuc, niuw ****** ** > ?-.
,! bones, i
i 1
Past brakes of treachery, whence the tiger ;
! sprung, ' j
; O'er swamps of envy, where the scorpion
! stung, - .
; His eager feet pressed onward to attain
j The luring bourn of that desired domain?
. > And thereat-last, worn fugitive of fate,
clutched: the mighfy clarion at the gate, i
j'A moment more, _-and. while its proud peal
Toe towers wcoia rocK, too poraus woma uu- .
j* dose- $
? -X 4
ij Bat ihecj.^ea then, by some foredoom pro
[i He dropped'deadere bis lips bad waked one ;
Dj{? ; : sound! * ~s rt**:
.BMgtoBaftng In India.
I' " r:-:
^;jV .Racing in Indiaisboth good fun and j
good sport. -There^eitwo elasses ,first j
j 'and- second;;va^;a^ there are races <
,k for fonr breedsand races -where all come :
4 together..^ tare Arab races, races |
[-1 Engl^ bred;-j|orses,> and ''W^ers," I
Australian- horses are called- !
hordes "havS- to give weight, |
J iwiueh always raises a growl, as tney are ;
' j neverreally fit -in ..tbfrfr stewy climate, j
; i :Tb e second cl^*aces are generally the
r\'best fan; as^verybodybrie knows has
;1 something, evisn-if it can only go on
j three legs, entered- 'The subaltern ha3
f} his charger, and-the competition wallah,
.! and sub-collectors buggy horses are for j
' j the nonce trWformecL.Tito race "cond- j
'.I ries," as: thfr natives call a race-horse, j
1 Ajod no w^ner ?f the Derby ever reiceivcd.
suclr attrition as the old buggy-;
' horse does for abont two months before j
J the "meeting" comes ofil His stable is |
ut^'^,-^!^^ce^morning J
[ gaLIop* and is tlien scraped down???_:
[ I his did broken-down legs swathed in
^ 'clean"bandages and new sheeting, with
j the owner's initials blazoned thereon,
carefully pulled over his weary old
, back; and after breakfast the owner
| and his friends, all with the inevitable
j! straw in their mouths, stroll over from'
j the bungalow, and Mary Ann is led out
| j aad carefully punched and felt all over,
j i and her chances for the Maiden stakes
, 1 rlnlv Of course. the owner
j1 must say to Sipkins, of the 107th dashj
ers, "Look out for her heels !" as if the
dear old lady had a kick left in her.
j And then the sun comes out hot and
j. strong, and they return to the bungalow,
t to long armchairs; brandy and soda
j and cheroots, the proud owner of Mary
, Ann backing her against the field all
[. | round for R.s 100, which she has about
j; as much chance of winning for him as
> | the chair he is sitting on.
I I IBC .llgBt aiiwicr.
[Forest and Stream.]
In tlie Adirondacks once came a re3
markable episode in the annals of the
1 night shooter, but which is true to a
word. We had paddled barely 200
| yards from where I killed a deer, when
[ we heard another one walking among
the grasses at the head of the lake. The j
I moKWJovexed log rustled through the
J rushes, with the weird half-circle of
' light spreading shoreward -with each
' sweep of the silent paddle, and again
1 the white outline of the deer seemed-to,
" grow out of the gloom ahead. Splurge I
*! splash, it is walking toward us. Now
[; it stops, and in the full glare of the
! headlight we see a beautiful, fat doe,
L i VIA* AArtf VkAmnniTir# +A OOOTlTna fllA WMA
I ilCl W41U 1 W OCOUiMU VUO UIUV
i tint of the -winter covering. With head
r | outstretched, she gazes earnestly at the
j lantern, while we sit silent and ad>
miring in the impenetrable gloom en r
shrouding the dugout behind the light.
> After satisfying her curiosity, she
1 turns to feed, and the canoe steals upon
' her. Now she is watching her shadow,
? cast by the light on the lily pads and
1 grassy water. Another quick stroke
1 with the paddle, and I prod her in the
' ribs with my gun. At the first punch
^ { she stood like a beautiful statue. At
1 i the second?I would stroke her with my
' j hand, but I fear she, waking from her
I ?J. -J J. iJ
astouisiieu irauue, wuuiu ikiuo. utca viu j
dugout in her terror?she gave one
I great bound, causing our log to oscillate
violently, and showering us witU
> cold spray, and then we heard her
bounding up the hill.
Hagie Vegetation.
II [Felix Oswald's Letter.]
:! The boxes seemed to be filled with a
i j sort of gray loam, but presently a green
j j film appeared upon the surface and
j j swelled like a mass of rising dough, till
j it divulged into a multitude of yellow|
j ish-green sprouts. The boxes were
| then handed around. The vegetable
. j sprouts were apparently some sort of
. j legumina, perhaps Chinese garden peas,
> I but the substratum was less easy to de11
fine. It was of a pale chocolate color,
?; viscid, and about the consistency of
, i half-melted tallow. To say that the
igerms grew visibly would be an exag[;
geration; but in the lapse of ten minutes
. i their growth from one-third to threej
fourths of an inch could be ascertained
i! by actual measurement. That their
?! progress was not due to a mechanieal
;! expansive force could be implied from
I !|the cireamstance that the leaf buds
[ | unfolded as well as uprose. It waa
. j clearly a case of vegetable develop*
; ment, accelerated by some unknown
I stimulant. .
"To say the truth, I am myself unable
i' to explain it," the professor replied to
! another leading question; "but from
I | tliC JUiXiliS Ul IUJ OUC^U) X ViiliJ ""I"J HUMJ
i much, that the solution of the riddle
ij would throw a new light upon the secret
, I of creation/]
' j Whisky and Talent.
I [Texas Siftings.]
"Take that bottle and go out nnd get
' me some whisky," said Col. Jimjams to
i the sad-eyed woman whose misfortune
! it was to be the wife of a convivial inej
briate.
I "Give me money to buy it with."
i "Give you money! Why, any darn
fool can get whisky if he has money,
i but to get whisky without money is
' what takes talent. I thought you iiad.
some talent."
Taking up the bottle with a sigh, the
patient, long-suffering woman went out.
in a snort tune sne returnea. apparently
she had been successful, for she
placed the bottle before him, and said,
in low, reproachful tones:
"There! take it, and drink to your
heart's content."
"Now, that's what I call smart. You
have got real genius or you couldn't get
whisky without money;" and placing
the bottle to his mouth he was about
to quench his thirst when he discovered
the bottle was empty.
14 Why, what does this, mean ?"
':It means that anybody can drink
whisky when, the whisky is in the bottle,
but it takes real talent to drink
? ' - - --- - - 11.. t..!'
tvinsky "wnen mere is none iu tue wir i
tie. Drink away. I know you have]
cot talent."
UP IN A SA&fcOGn
An AeroaMt'i Aee?ant of Hi* Toyage
Across the BagM>fc tliiwiwi
[London Standard.]
"We started from Hastings," says;
Mr. Simmons, "under" somewhat unfa-;:
vorable auspices, the wind being north- j
easterly at- the time. A crowd of some'
40,000 persons had gathered to witness
our departure, and as we ascendedthey
gave us a tremendous eheer. My fellow
passenger, Mr. Smafl, a photog-;
rapher, was so lost in ^admiration of we
magnificent panorama of .Eastings lying
below us that I had to warn him that
he must be quick if he wished 4o obtain
o nTirtfnfyranir. and wa inat eotthe anrva*
? r**wwvO ? * * o- . .
ratus ready a6 we passed over the
beach, the balloon being at that moment
(3:25) to an altitude erf 3^000 feet.
At 3:30 .-we had a long range of coast:
line, Eastbourne pier being exceedingly.'
distinct. I thought we were a trifle too
near Beachy Head ever <_t0 make any
point of land on this side of the 'Atlantic,
but when we attained an altitude of
7,500 feet we southed a trifle more^ . Appearances
wore, however, much against
our ever.Teaching land, and I must acknowledge
that I was sorely tempted to
aAP 'DaaaTiv TTcqiI flnA trak.
VV1UC UUWU VU VWVUJ MVWU MW
picked tip. But this would haye been
ratlier too ignominious, and I decided
to keep on our course. Wehad the
satisfaction, a few minutes later, to find
Beach Head receding north of us, and
we quickly settled our minds to 'make
a night of if if necessary.
"At 4:30 we were over a magnificent
cloud scene; here and there patches of
the coast line could be descried f&r
away to the west, while at a vast distance
there was a gap through which
we got a patch of sea, with three or .
four ships very distinct.:. A moment
later and the great .Qoetain. of ekmds
had shut out our last laadrmacfc< Mr.
Small got his apparatus ready to secure
a cloud effect, but his shutter
missed fire two or three times, and this
suggested some 'iftle improvements -for
-g^^xperimeiits in future. From 4:30
to nearlyltn^Ktothe people cm earth)
our altitude range^issi^^eu 8-000 and
9,000 feet During this inwri^&I^G got
peeps at the sea many times, buV~noland
was seen. We could see the
sun's rays two hours after he had withdrawn
from earth and sea. The
shadow of the balloon on a cloud
looked very much like a shuttlecock,
the car forming the butt end, and the
balloon and cords forming the feathers.
! Thfi transition from divto nicrht 'was
very slow and gradual, and as daylight
departed the moon's rays from' dead
gold gradually changed to bright silver.
Mr. Small said, *Did you see that
shooting star?' I said, 'Wait 4 minute,
and I will show you another.' Tlie
balloon had commenced to 1 evolve, and
this motion made.it appear as though a
bright star was darting through the
air. It was, of course, an optical
illusion.
"A remarkable appearance was caused
by the refection of the balloon in thq
focnssing screen of the camera. "When
we surrounded witii a DiacK ciotn ine
frame round the glass we could see the.
sky, sun, moon and stars inverted, and
the balloon cleaving its headlong downward
course through illimitable space,
the effect being more extraordinary.
Soon after T o'clock we began to get
cold, and set to work to don our flannels,
etc. Our large wrapper got tightly
jammed in the rigging, but the hard
~puUio~^rj-ess&rj to cret it loose soon
made us feel warm,_Sad, havmg ep^.
got up a good circulation, we did aot
j during the entire voyage again feel'cold.
[ The cork jackets, which were supplied
by Mr. Cornish, contributed greatly to
warmth. During the night, for more
! than an hour bur altitude did not vary
twenty feet. This was exceedingly encouraging,
for upon-our power of poising
so nicely depended our chance of
flnafinor nlnff. n.11 nicht. When_ ?hn
balloon did take a slight downward
tarn I carefully noted how much
ballast it would take to'stop her.' The
temperature of the air was very regular,
and I found that seven pounds or
eight pounds was sufficient.
"At 10:15 we saw a vessel almo st under
us, and came down low enough to
hail her. This we did as lustily as we
could, but at first got no response, only
a remarkably distinct echo from our
own voices. At last a voice was heard
on deck* 'VoQa, balloon, balloon f
'Areyou English?No reply. Tarlez
vous Francaise? 'Oui, oui,' we replied,
but with all our French we could
not ascertain our whereabouts, and
wliotlioF tto Trara nv/xr F.ncltjch I
channel or the Atlantic.
"At 10:25 something slightly darker
than the normal horizon could be
faintly discerned. We kept ourselves
absolutely motionless, and, listening intently,
~we seemed to hear in the same
direction a sound as of a far-distant
rolling surf. I looked long and eagerly,
until I exclaimed. 'It's nothing but a
mist,' for it seemed to change its form,
ftf infA Ail* ' T
auu ov ioov:vu tmuou auw vamm *
passed nearly another hour intently
watching for lights until a similar dark
portion of horizon was brought under
our view. We could not possibly
bring ourselves to believe it was land,
because no lights could be seen up to
this time, but at last there was an unmistakable
flicker in the exact direotion
where I was gazing. 'Look along my
finger as a telescope. .."What do you
call that?* 'A lighthouse/ exclaimed
Mr. Small. I said, 1 believe that
okn*%- luv/yvwa;- caq
mjixiv uivuawta. buu %jj uiuj
confidence, and then the; told us we
were on Cap de la Hogue, the extreme
northwest point of France. We then
found that oar informants were M.
Augusts Lavem, of Canton de Beaumont,
Arrondissement Hanche and
bis wife. They most kindly helped us
to empty the balloon of ita contents,
and gave tts supper and shelter'for the
night. Next morning at 7 o'clook, we
/
r
_ M
-\im jl ou:y jlua. io haiu ov?
just beyond it again. If it tarns ont to
be so, be prompt in doing everything I
tell you, for it vrill be sharp work to
land on that strip.'
"The sound of surf was now unmistakable,
and in about the same time as
I am faking to tell this, the line of coast
was presented distinctly to our view,
every nfinute getting more distinct.
The sea now began toripple up sharply.
Ten minutes and we were passing the
coast line, and sharply darting toward
the other sea beyond. 'What sort "or
ground are we coming down on ?'?said
Mr. Small. 'Bugged rocks and stone
walls, I believe,' I said.. 'Hold on firm.
Otit rrrtoe tlio nrannlinflr rrnno ' 4't first
it would not hold, but soonit got wedged
into a crevice in the rocks, giving us
just tether enough to pass over the
precipice and down on to the beach.
There was just room for us between the
needing tide and the rocks* and sons
to spare. Had we gone ten yards further
and half A.seeond longer we should
have been in the sea.
"We heard whispering nea^ ns. In
a few moments a matt and a woman
appeared, btifc wcraJd not at first approach
us, fearing, I supposfe, we were
1 D -J U? ?,,
went to yieiratB" Scene'of our descent,
and Mr. Small photographed it. We
afterward piooeeded to Cherbourg, and
the?ce home."
A raerim 3Ur?ett? Avoids. "
-'[Chicago News.]
,v Robert; J. Bnrdefie, the humorist, has
never been invited to. make a second ap
pearancein St. Jonnsoury, vs. xne
first and only time lie was billed for a
lecture thereaeveral prominentcitizens*
including ' Mri Fairbanks, the scale
7 manufacturer* called on . him and told
him there was a regions revival in
progress in thetown,and they expressed
the^hope&at he would omit every
humorous feature from his .lecture, for
fear.hiaiun mightjdistracfc^the minds of
theyoui^ people from the religious
subjects. Mr. Bprdette promised to
comply with their request, and. when
he appeared before on overflowing
hoQse^ thai evening he care
f^y.;.dinwftted. from his lecture
every, sentence and word thai could possibly
be snapeeted of conveying an idea
of hnmor or levity. occasion was
more aciema than a watch-meeting.
Tbepeopie^cajae to laagb, they stayed
fr went away to
swaur. Bardette was voted three-ply,
fonr-story frand, and the emotions
awakened by the failure of his lectnre
were ci such, an uochristianly and permanent
natare that the religious revival
in tie town dated its declinefrom
that very night. And nowadays, whenever
Bnrdette has occasion to go
through St. Johnsbnry, he stops just
walks aroupd.
Some Facts la the Far Trade.
* [Philadelphia Times.]
?T *k- MftW' IvMlrtrlll
4-mnn wmv
a ooat, the ornamental skin of which
came from Maine. He wanted somethong
striking and cheap, and what do
you suppose he got? Give it up? Well,
he calls and thinks it Australian mink,
but it is good, honest American skunk?
a good fur, too, and sells well, only the
name would kill it if we retained &
Over 350,000 skunk skins are handled
by the trade every year: . Hew York
and Ohio-furnish the majority. They
bring from the trapper 50 cents to a $1.
TTiov ftra AfirAinrir^A t>v a haw and satis
ap^ y1] 1"
under fancy names. '""**
.,, "What wecall fur in the trade," said
the expert, taking up a-skin, "is this.
You see, by spreading open the hair of
this seal there are two kinds of hair;
one, the fur that is short and lies close
to the dan, and .another-the. overliair
that is long and what we see at a first
glance of the animal. The difference
Kofurcsttn' .VIA' TOTV m-Aat frrr
being soft, downy, silky, and sometimes
curly, while theoverharr is coarse and
rigid; Each, has a peculiar value for
many purposes, but particularly in
felting; the fine, upon treatment
to hot water, readily joins in a
solid mass, while the long hair can
be woven and span. When the animal
is alive the uses of the two hairs are
seen. The fine nnderhair keeps out
water and cold, while the overhair
prevents felting and entangling. In
hotba carat one is ATfremftlv;valuable
alone, and in others the combination is
equally so.
"The house oat is one of the most
valuable -of thfe far-bearing animals,
and Then they mysteriously disappear
from the back fence they often find
their way to the furrier. It is an actual
fact that in 1882 over 1,200,060 bouse
cats were used in the fur trade. Black,
white, Maltese, ana tortoise-shell skins
are- mgst in dejuand. Thej are made
into liningSr asd used in philosophical
apparatus.
Mormon WIt?L[Cor.
Inter Ocean.]
The Mormon priests tell the Mormon
woman that plural marriage is the or*,
dinanceof God! That all it brings her
of anguish is necessary self-denial to
wrn God's love, and that to submit to
it is her duty. A ghastly burial ceremony-thai
is practiced by the Mormons
rivets; the hold polygamy has on the superstition
of these creatures. Every
wifs that is buried has a black cloth
IttiU Uu UCX iOWf MlU DUC iUVlUlVU YTUU1CU
are taught to believe thaton the resurrection
day, when the righteous are
called into the joys of their Lord, no
hand but that of a husband can remove
the doth , and that unless the cloth is
lifted by his hand she must remain in
outer darkness forever. Jl woman who
believes thai?and the Mormon women
believe it?can't help behaving herself,
no matter how many wives her husband
talcea. She . has to keep on the right
side of .the only man who can take o8
that cloth.
. Heart>Brokeii kat LeTel>Eeid?d.
[Philadelphia Times.]
A lawyer for a husband who is being
sued for divorce had a visit yesterday
from the client. The client is madly
in love with his wife and believes that
she wishes to be rid of hiqronly to be
free to marry another. "I oant live
without her,"-he said to hslegaladviaer,
"and I am sure ihai away down
in her heart she has a little feeling for
me. I am going to test" her," Be
palled out a pistol and said:-"I am
going to ner witn tms -anatiay-Here,
ghoot me down; I don't care to live any
mare."
"Yoa had better not," aaid the
cautions legal man; "she might pall
the trigger."
"I don't care for that," replied the
heart-broken husband. "I don't care
for that; I have filled the weapon with
blank cartridges." ' - '
A Special Vessel f?r Stanley.
[Exchange.]
A vessel of special and ingenious design
is being prepared" for Stanley's nse
a r_r r* -,;it iw ?
m ib MUX iro uj a
stern paddle-wheel, and the hull will
-will be arranged in such a manner that
it can be readily-subdivided into a number
of sections, each being floatable and
provided with fittings for receiving four
large wheels. These wheels can be attached;
to each section while afloat, so
that ft can be drawn oat of the water for
transport overland without difficulty.
Eaih of the subdivision of the hull.
forms, when fitted with the wheels,
complete wagon of itself, capable of
carrying, the machinery of the steamer,
merchandise, stores, etc. - It is to be
completed by the end of-this year, and
will be tested afloat under steam on the
Tham<?? .
In Greenville, as you are aware, Tine
late President Andrew Jackson lived, as
tailor, alderman, legislator and president;
and here he is buried. The shop
in which he labored as tailor now stands
in the eastern part of the town. Just
over the entrance to the shop, which is
a small frame building, and in which a
colored .family is now living, is a pine
board, upon which is written, in letters
now almost erased by rain and storm,
the following: "A. Johnson, Tailor."
A little out from the western bpfdQr of
the town stands the monumept-of mar*
U" *r???Vo fVio TMftiur nlaea of
VJLD w aivu umi wn 4 ?
"Andrew Johnson, President ol tin
United States."*
GOOD-NIGHT AND GOOD-DAY.
| [Effice Hopkina]
When Love's white stars had dipt amid
Dark hoflerjrsadHesin (be lane;
And in the~cfcarmed dark, dose hid.
The nightmgkfe poured forth her pain;
OT>ATv-,a?mlrirt?^mi?<w>M< liit^ ghnt
Tbeir goleJeti fringes "to the lightHeaven's
starry world on world o'erhead,
Love's world on world within outspread?
Her handid hushe shyly pot.
And in the porch they, said ''Good-night* ~ ;
And when, with meeting steps tbey bruised
. The earliest dews beneath their feet,
And Lovers' delicious shame confused
. Their gaae with consrioosnem too sweet,
That hid. in fngruvl indifference,
Yet dashed her cheek with rosy day,
K "WtfteiftH his thoughts stood up to sin&
--Hispmse whomade so sweet a thing;
! ThAn thntM thmnffh^mr faaimr sense.
He toadied her hand and saii^%kx)d-dsy."
But now .so deep, so windless deep,
"Has sank the sea of their content,
It hathaxr shore to break its sleep,
Or loose it into ravishment;
} No siftOT reach of morning gray,
i, I No golden edare at iadhur lizht:
But hashed their hearts as brooding bird,
Tbeiriips by no good wishes stirred; " .
For by his side 'tis aft ''Good-day,"
Ana in hfa arms tis stall "Qood-mght.'g
Htfit rtwwt, Ancient and Rodent.
{Demoietfs Mdnfiily.l %
. .. The first lights that flashed out over
the stormy -waves were the beacon fires
on a hill/by whose blaze the mariner
steerfed clear of therocks that environed
him. These were not "inextinguish:
able lights," therefore recourse was had
I to something better. The Egyptians
i built their fire towers and dedicated
f them to adivinity. On thiB summit they
( placed ft bronze apparatus in which a
I fire was continually burning.
Other nations followed the example
of lighting tHe mariner's perilous was,
and thus light-houses were established
all oyer : the world, one of the most
ancient and most celebrated being that
on the island of Tbaxos, at Alexandria.
I The system of lighting has varied at
amurem hhkh uuu w uuu?cu? y?nw?? __
There are five varieties of limits?the
"revolving," the ''flashing," the -fixed,"
the "intermittent," and the "doable
i lights" placed in one tower. Wood and
coal fires were at first used, then
candles, and subsequently lamps, with
[ metal reflectors. The greatest care has
i to be observed to keep the lamps and
washed or burnished, and sometimes _
' stoves are introduced in the room, to "~~v""
, equalize the temperature, and prevent
; a mist garnering on tne glasses.
Tte glass of the lamps is sometimes
1 shattered, not by the -waves, but the
I sea-birds; dashing' against them, attracted
by the light. Sometimes it becomes
necessary to protect the lamps
-with a network. The %irds, bewildered
and ; dazzled by the light, fiy at the
glass, dashing themselves with so much force
against it that they not only break
the panes,, but in jnza themselves in the
onslaught. j_ *
A 8t?ty of George Peabody.
[Pall Mall Gazette. ]
The proceedings at the first meeting
of the Library association were enlivened
by Mr. Henry. .Stevens, the
well-known ffobliographer and lover of
books," who related with his nsaal~?s
humor some literary anecdotes, which,
4s he said; were not' generally to be
mat with in irablished books. One of
tbese- reistmg to the late Mr. George
Peabody is too aransing not to deserve
< a "wider circulation. The eminent phil- ...
anthropist, anxious "to do something in
a literary way" lor his native city, Boston,
applied to Mr. Stevens for advioe.
"How are books?"1 inquired Mr. Peabody,
as if they were stocks and
shares. "What can I> get 3,000 #
volumes for?" "Well," replied his
adviser, "you can get them at a
shilling a volume or a pound a volume."
^"Then I will have them at a shilling a
vo&Qie," was the answer; and he forth- '
-with commissioned the book savant to
procure and have delivered to him at
Boston, -well boiiirrl^in good condition,
and free of chargfe*<3jQOO volumes
for the - same numMfc^of shillings.
Thiswasin due ccw3??%aoeom"
phshed, and the munificence of theSonor
lost nothing by the fact that amistasqn
account of the transaction afterwar2h.J
found its^way into the newspapers, de- \ ;
scribing how the library had been
selected and founded at a cost of ?l per
volume^
The r?rt? tke Theatre
' [Providence Press.]
- Some of the- peculiar people are no-fit
again thia 868800.
They.include-the man who drops his
programme regularly from the balcony
totne parquet; the woman who always
lays her head on her male companion's A
shoulder when "she laughs at-?nything?-->^
fanny .in the play;, the man who tells
.. his neighbor about what is cominghe's
seen the play before; the woman
who annoys the person on the seat back
of-her by constancy moving her head
from side to side; the man who stands
up and very deliberately removes his
rvcamtvcA. in " Ktt m/vd; infeTooKri er rva-rf. rti
the drama;: the man.with "squeaking ^
boots who comes, in late, walks with a
good deal of emphasis down to the
front tow of seats; tht man who laughs
so loud as to remind me of an earthquake;
and last, bet not least, the baby
who is sometimes,too small to be seen
.out, but always large enough to be heard.
Finish ike Woe4she<L ^?[Lime-Bjln
Club.]
Judge Congo secured the floor to
od serve tnai anoiner comet was in
sight, and thai some people were predicting
thatrit wonld strike the earthHe
would like to inquire what the result
would be in case of such collision.
i fl has ixebter bin wenry clus to a
comet," replied the -president, "but
from what I have seen an'read an*
heard I is prepared to blieve dat de
airth kin take car5 of herself. If I war*
in jour place I should go right on an'
finish dat woodshed an* take my
nhoBCflO."
v..^ Died Under Cwvleflon.
[New York World.]
An EngBslf clergyman recently
talked his dbg to deaths The animal
had killed two hens on a Sunday, but
buried tKom insufficiently, which impro*
a rm i
uence ieu to ma aeiwuuu. xue
man graspedthe situation with a firm
mind, and instead of soundly drubbing
him?ft punishment which charitably
inclined people would have advised?
took the brute into his study and
preached a new sermon?something of
a masterpiece, by the way?on "Vicious
Propensities.'' There was no one to in.
terrade between the hanless canine ?
Lis cruel tormentor. TLe discourse
occupied in its delivery just seventy^x^/C
two minutes. After its conclusion the
oraior complacently anticipated the
sensation it would produce on his congregation
the next Sabbath, and went '
away to another town to transact some
necessary business. When he returned
he learned that the dog was dead. The
simnlfymirwlfid minister was thunder
struck at the deadly effect of his boraling
reproof; "Bemorse," he said, in* :-v
pressively, "has killed my.do(?.n
'.