The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, May 10, 1883, Image 4
— -
G. If. 1>.
A Ittedley, a n,!UrT ® , a “ a *
TBI 8T0BT 07 A DBKAM.
Get money honestly if yon can, bnt get
money," was a foolish father’s advice to
bis son. Get money, if yon can honestly,
makes bnt a slight alteration in the order
of the words, bnt varies the sentiment con
siderably. There is no harm in making
money. It answereth all things. Used
rightly it is a power for good, and there is
money enough in the world to form a lever
by which the mass of humanity could be lift
ed, to a certain extent, out of its depths of
sorrow and despair. Money we must have
for money makes (he mare go. Some can
make money who ha\e no faculty for saving.
Would you save you must know how to deny
those who would borrow and never repay, as
well as those who beg simply because they are
too lazy to wo-U. There are men whenever
want to see you except to ask the favor of a
loan. They will ask for just one word with
you, and that one word is sure to be money.
An impecunious fellow met a rich acquaint
ance, and not liking to ask dire 'tly for a
loan, said, "Friend Smith, if you had ten
dollars in your pocket, and I was to ask you
for the loan of five, how many would remain
in your pocket?" “Ten dollars, to be sure,"
replied the rich man, without a moment’s
hesitation. He had gumption, and knew too
much to part with his money by any such
rule of subtraction.
Oh, I see, said the impecunious man thus
rebuffed. He was able to owe. He was
one of the Micawber sort—always waiting
for something to turn up. How like some
people who are sick. They think to get wsll
by letting disease take care of itself. But
diseases do not heal themselves, and too late
them victims full often find this out to their
sorrow as death seizes upon them. Had they
been wise in time they might have added
many years to their lease of life. The cure
was nigh them, as it is nigh to all who read
this medley. These paragraphs tell the
story, as a patient perusal will prove. Those
who have keen insight and can road between
the lines may solve the conundrum the soon
er for it, but upon all, light will dawn ere
they rend the final word of our story.
.Light will dawn, we said, and so it will,
light of hope and help. Light is what a
certain individual wanted. Mr. Jones we
will call him. He was very sick. Consum
tion had fastened its fangs upon him.
'had long neglected catarrh, and lau<mdpf- at
tlfe idea of taking anything
vise^ to do so. ands^gjjpf*^ bad to
worse; Hi 1 * l™aj^0B^iedisonsed, a hack
ing, ^“^^ujjppnough racked him almost to
pieces, ^■Thg was fast wasting away. A
™ er ® of his former self, he scarcely
slept, at t»fU iiight, or slept only to dream
si' »eams. Talk of nightmare! A
whole cirHg troupe, horses and all, seemed
x) make 1M the arena of their wild per-
.ormance* j n t his case money did not
make thcm llr0 go, for he spent a deal of
money cjm doctors and physics and was
nothing Kttcred. He ate little, and was
last gonjB down to an untimely grave, leav-
1 kha.J^'f 0 8 w * llow al ‘d his four bright
c . ,, fyrphans, w j, ent i 0 | on one eventful
night lm dreamed for once a bright and
happy m am, which our next paragraph will
relatem
iMith, the black-visagod monster, had
'ijftil then stared him in the face, bnt the
Iream brought him hope. He saw a bright,
white-robed angel in his dream, who said,
“I come to bring you good news. Here
is your cure—sure, safe, harmless, prompt
aud reliable. Get well ana seek to take
health thereby to others. Behold the cure!”
With these words the angel was gone, but ere
the trail of light which followed him had
vanished the dreamer saw glittering in the
light three golden letters—G. M. D. “What
can it mean?’’ he said to himself, as he
awoke from his slumber. “I have had a
Good Many Dreams before, but never such
as this.” Startled and surprised he aroused
his wife and to her related his vision. Alas,
she could not solve the problem. Remem
bering all the medical advice, and the physic,
and the expense involved since her husband
became sick, she expressed the hope that the
letters were not intended to suggest that a
Good Many Doctors must yet be consulted
in addition to all that had been interviewed.
He groaned in reply and remarked that if he
had to consult any more there would have to
be a Gold Mine Discovered in order to pay
them.
Every day for a week he and his faithful
spouse searched diligently for a key to
the problem. In the dictionary, in snch
newspapers as they happened to have, in
books, on placards on the walls—everywhere
they sought—hoping to find a clew. Letters
stand for words, aud they hoped to light
upon the words that should suggest the cure.
They Grieved Many Days over their lack of
good luck, as they said, and the Good Man
Dreamed again and again, bnt saw no more
angels. Hope deferred maketh the heart
sick. “Oh, that the angel had Guided Me
Definitely and Given More Directions,” he
exclaimed, again and again.
Nearly two weeks had elapsed since the
night of the Great Mysterious Dream, when
there came to the house a pamphlet. Tired
with his exhausting office work, which he
still pursued, determining if possible to die
in the harness, Jones was about to throw
the pamphlet in the fire when something
prompted him to examine it Snrely,
thought he, here can be nothing that will
Pierce this Gloom Most Distressing, or Give
Me. Disheartened, any relief. Poor man,
he had worked letters over in his mind, and
made so many combinations with them, that
they occurred in almost every sentence he
uttered. They entered even into his pray
ers. Heaven Grant Me Deliverance, he
would say, nor let disease Grind Me Down,
and so forth, ml infinitum, and a mile or two
beyond.
Mentallv tortured and suffering in everj
fiber of his body, what wonder that h<
read page after page of the pamphlet. It
was a work on diseases, and in the morbid
state of his mind its contents seemed to suit
im. It spoke of almost every disease that
esh is heir to, bnt oh, joy! as he read, a
Glimpse Most Delightful of light stole in
npon him. “Eureka! Eureka!" he cried.
“Wife, I have it, I have it.”
Everybody in the house heard him cry
Eureka, and rushed to the room to hear
what ha had found. All expected to see some
Great Miracle Done, and then came the ex
planation. Simple, of course, but why had
he not thought of it before? Oh, what a rev
elation! Here was hope for him and for all
consumptives. Here, hope for suffering
friet ds and neighbors. That night he scarce
could sleep, hut when he did, he again saw a
bright vision of golden letters, in fact, a
Glittering Monagram Deciphered readily,
and reading G. M. D.; and again P. P. P.,
and yet again F. P.; and one hugeP, around
which these others were entwined, and then
W. D. M. A. All the letters blended, yet
each was distinct. AH he had seen in the
book, all he again saw in his vision.
Dream Most Glorious. D. M. G.—G. M.
D.—Again he rang the changes; backward,
Gold Medal Deserved.
. lisery's Great Deliverer,—till
time would fail to tell them all. P. P. P.
stood for Perfect Pence Promised for suf
ferers, and sweet release from Prostrating
Purgatorial Pains. And again F. P. was
Freedom Promised, and backward, P. F., it
became Pain Flees. Now he could get well,
and once well, he would be a missionary, a
Glad Missionary Devoted to the work of
telling other” how they might get deliver
ance. He went through the list of diseases
among th >se of his own acquaintance, from
John Robinson, whose torpid liver gave him
constant headache and severe bilious attacks,
on through the list of those suffering from
ulcers, coughs, weak and diseased lungs, to
his friend, General B , who was as near
forward, every way. Gold
M. G. D.—Misery's Great
V., V^VUVICM . WUVS WflD (to 11C ft I
the grave as he. And for all these, as well
nejrl
f ears. Against the milder cases ne marked
’• P. P. Against the serious cases he
marked G. M. D., not tlie Grizzly Monster
Death, which he so long had dreaded, bnt
sometlung—oh, so mneu better, as we blutU
presently see.
In a short while onr hero was well, and
went everywhere among his friends aud
neighbors, telling of his good fortune and
showing the sick and the suffering how they
might be healed. Some laughed and con-
tinned to suffer, refusing to be healed. More
were wise, tool his counsel and proved hu
visum of the l ght as he had done.
“A virion, less beguiling far,
Than waktng dreams by daylight are.”
Can anything be more delightful than
health after sickness? To be a well man.
to feel pure blood coursing through your
veins, to kn >w that lungs, liver, kidneys,
and all the Grand Machinery, Does its duty
perfectly in one’s body; to carry health’s
ruddy mark on the cheeks. Ah, this is Good
Moet Decidedly. This was our hero’s case,
and thousi.ads can tell the same story. The
good angel has come to them. Tueyhave
soon Uie letters Gleam Most Distinctly before
their eyes, anl Going Most Definitely to
work in pursuing (he instructions given,
the? have recovered that great blessing—
afc=9«*
geslth. G. r«x. V. nan been to tbua a otun-
oel of good. Good Mysteriously Done, and
they have bid their sick friends do what all
the sick should do, namely, put themselves
in communication with the W. D. M. A.,
Which Done Most Assuredly will put them
in the Way Desired Most Anxiously.
Alas, that human natcre is so slow to be-
jeve—alas, that men and women are bowed
Sown with the burden of complaints, of
which they might be rid — consumption,
bronchitis, dyspepsia, heart disease, kidney
disease, malarial complaints, scrofulous dis
eases, skin diseases, tumors, ulcers, and
many more. It would seem as though some
ill deity had given every letter of the alpha
bet as many diseases as it could possibly de
sire, thus forming' an alphabet of sorrow,
suffering and woe. Happy they who *he
Great Measure Discerning, have escaped me
dutches of sad diseases.
"jooking back upon his past experience.
Mr. j01.68 reeia urate. di Most ueeiueaiy,
and continnes telling the old story of his
sickness, his vision, and his restoration to
health; for all the sick are not well yet. But
he has had the pleasure of seeing, as he says.
Good Miraculously Done to hundreds upon
his personal recommendation.
Dear reader, bear with us awhile if light
has not yet dawned on your mind. The mys
tery will soon be revealed. If the key be
not on yonr right hand it is at least on vonr
left, in letters clear as daylight. A Good Many
Delighted have discovered it and opened the
portal to a long life and a useful one.
Initials of words that stand for all that
Is sorrowful and sad, letters, the self-same
letters, are often initial of words that breathe
of hope and benediction.
Search but awhile and /on will find the
boon, the blessing and the benefit. The
mystery of the three P’s. of the F. P., ftf the
G. M. D., and of theW. D. M. A., Will Dawn
Most Auspiciously npon you.
Columbus discovered America and won
high honor and immortal fame, and they
who have learned the secrets of the wonder
before your eyes, good reader, Give Most
Delightful testimonials of their gratitude.
Of all sad words of tontrae and pei
saddest are these—it MWRJliUil^Tieeii—
so sayeth the poet. Wjjgg^P^hink of the
myriads that nuj^-t^pRebeen saved from
nntimoiyg^jjjjiBlfaJfthey seen Mr. Jones’
visioflJSiMBought his way to health, we feel
we cannot bnt rejoice at the Great
any Delivered from death’s door by G. M.
D., and that Pain’s Positive Persecution
has been escaped again and again by P. P. P.
Virtues nnnnmbered serve tr make O. M
D. the Greatest Mercy Deigned by favor
ing proxidences for the relief of sufferers,
and its discoverer feels P. P. P—Perfectly
Pardonable Pride in telling of the Growing
Multitude Delivered from the Grasp Most
Dreadful of Greedy Monrnful Death.
Every sick person is interested in the theme
before ns, and every well person, too, for who
does not know some one who is sick and
needs, therefore, the good news of health
that is Given Many Daily.
Reader, mystified reader, we will detain
yon no longer. Perhaps you have Guessed
Most Deftly the hidden meaning. P. P. P.,
yon know, stands for Pleasant Purgative Pel
lets, cpring constipation, torpidity of the
liver, headache and many other complaints.
F. P., of course, is Dr. Pierce’s Favorite
Prescription, that has proved snch a P. F.,
Prime Favorite and Precious Friend to la
dies; safe, easy to take, working like a
charm—curing the peculiar weaknesses in
cident to their sex. The letters W. D. M. A.
stand for the World’s Dispensary Medical
Association, at Buffalo, N. Y., with its im
posing structures, its army of medical men,
specialists, all of them, and its president.
Dr. R. V. Pierce (the large and central P of
Mr. Jones’ second vision;,.all at the service
of the sick and suffering, everywhere; while
G. M. D. is—well, read the initials of the
paragraphs of this article and you will see
that 5. M. D. is Golden Medical Discovery,
the boon of the diseased. Inis wonderful
medicine cures all hnmors, from the worst
scrofula to a common blotch, pimple or
eruption. Erysipelas, salt-rheum, fever
sores, scaly or rough skin, in short, all dis
eases caused by bad blood, are conquered
b-' this powerful, purifying and invig
orating medicine. Great eating ul
cers rapidly heal under its benign influ
ences. Especially has it manifested its po
tency in curing tetter, boils, carbuncles,
scrofulous sores and swellings, goitre or
thick neck, and enlarged glands. Consump
tion, which is scrofulous disease of the
lungs, is promptly and positively arrested
and cured by this sovereign end God-given
reme ly, if taken before the last stages ore
reached. For weak lungs, spitting of blood,
consumptive night sweats, and kt ndred af
fections, it is a sovereign remedy. For in
digestion, dyspepsia and torpid liver, or
“biliousness.’’ Golden Medical Discovery
has no equal, as it effects perfect and radical
euros.
You will do well If afflicted with any chronic
disease to write to the Association for advice,
describing your malady as well as you can.
Many cases are successfully treated through
correspondence and no fees are charged for
consultation. For one dollar and a half you
can secure a copy of the "People’s Common
Sense Medical Adviser.” sent postpaid to
your address. Its purchase will repay you.
In this is Given More Desirable information
than you can find in any other vork of a
similar nature.
The English Agricultural Gazette
claims that a good Jersey cow will yield
half her own weight of butter in a year,
as she rarely exceeds 800 pounds in
weight, and 700 pounds is her average.
Such cows can be found in every good
herd. Six quarts of her milk will pro
duce one pound of butter, and there
fore, there is less water to handle, less
milk required, fewer pans needed, the
color is better, the flavor superior, and
the texture adds to the quality. More
than this, she comes into profit early,
her first calf being dropped before she
is 2 years old,and her gentle disposition
enables any one to manage her,
A KHVir-OROWEB in Western New York
sold the past season $3000 worth of
quinces from an orchard of 10,000 trees
which have been bearing 8 years. Every
year hereafter the sales wili, or should,
largely increase. So far the only ma
nure used has been a mixture of salt
and ashes The orchard is kept cleanly
cultivated, and the trees are now too
large to grow other crops among them.
The greater part of the water found
in plants, aud the earthy or mineral in
gredients, including the *mtrates, enter
the plahts by means of the roots. Pro
bably gaseous matter may also be ab
sorbed by the roots. Abeorp’lou of
fluids by the roots is due to diffusion,
by virtue of which liquids of different
densities have a tendency to mix, the
thinner passing into the thicker liquid
through the cell walls.
Sandy sod 8 are, in the aveta^e far
mer’s sense of the word, the lightest of
all soils, because tltey are the easiest to
work, while m actual weight they are
the heaviest soils kuowu. Clay, also,
which we leal l a heavy soil, because stiff
and unyielding to the plow, is compar
atively a light soil m actual weight.
Peat soils are light in both senses of the
word, having little actual weight and
being loose or porous.
There are fewer cattle now in Color
ado than there were 3 or 4 years ago.
The profits of herding were great, and
there was a rapid morease until drought
and subsequent severe winter caused
the loss of thousands of head from star-
vatiqn and exposure. It is probable
that Colorado will not in maay years
have as many head of cattle as' it had
before tins disastrous experience.
Ashes should never be thrown upon
manure heaps, nor mixed with any kind
of manure, as the caustic potash liber-
atesjthe ammonia, which is very diffi
cult to save. Therefore, spread ashes
immediately upon the land, whether
grass or cultivated.
Sons of the best catches of clover are
made from fall seeding. It then needs
to shading, and usually gets sufficient
rain to give it a good start.
DOMESTIC.
Various Screen Decorations.—In
selecting birds for a screen, those of
small cr medium site are the mest ef
fective. When embroidered on ii .h
textures, worsted or silk should be em-
ployeu, Colored linen thread may be
used effectually when combined witn
beads of plumage colors. The “ava-
davat,” an Oriental bird, is a lovely
design; two or three perohed on a
branch, with twig*, are very showy
when skilfully embroidered on satin;
this pattern for a screen panel or table
cover is handsome. The plumage of the
and avadavat is very brilliant, the bead
breast are of a bright red, the wings are
a rich brown, the back a sort of chest
nut, the tail black, and all the feathers
are tipped with snow white; the beak
is scarlet. Robin Redbreast looks as
lovely wrought in silk as pamted in oil
colors. bt autilul screen design, for
felt and satin appliqued work, is the
skylark, with spread wings, about to
fly on its nest made on the ground by
the side of a duster of Laid daisies.
The eggs are of a pale green tinge, with
scattered brown spots. The gorgeously
plumed gold-finch looks lovely wrought
in silk, and since this bird will mate
with the eauary, the t*x> perohed on a
sprig of evergreen or holly gives a
showy and interesting pattern for a
large screen fold. Frnit designs are
effective, either embroidered or painted
ia oil colors. - A. pistty Indian straw
basket, containing oherr.es, plums, and
1 pplee, tipped over on one side, with
the fruit tumbling out, is a charming
bit of embroidery decoration for a
screen. A large Dirndl of luscious
strawberries laid over a golden sweet
apple and egg-plum gives a splendid
contrast of colors, which is enhanced in
beauty by a duster of colored grasses
carelessly lying near the fruit on a bit
of turf. Flowers and fruit combined
form striking screen patterns. Make a
copy of loose flowers, the salmon-tinted
Gloire de EHjoti rose; the cherry red
Douglass rose; a sprig of feathered
hyacinth; a lilac purple double auemo-
ne, star-eyed daisies and bright yellow
buttercups, all massed together, resting
on a duster of Autumn leaves, with a
bit of blue sky slightly curved, and so
forming a partial frame to this bright
little speck of Nature—a desigu that is
exoeediugly picturesque.
Persons who suppose themselves suf
fering from heart disease because they
have pain in the region of the heart, oi
palpitation, seldom have any disease of
that organ. In nine cases out of ten
they are sufferers from dyspepsia—noth
ing more. Congestion of the lungs is
most frequently caused by a sudden
change from the heat of an ill ventilated
room, or railroad car, or horse oar. to
the cold air outside, without being pro
tected by sufficient clothing; hence
many persons thus seized drop dead in
the streets.
In case of poisoning the simple rule
is to get the poison out of the stomach
as soon as possible. Mustard and salt
act promptly as emetics, and they are
always at hand. Stir a tablespoonful in
a glass of water, and let the person
swallow quickly, if it does not cause
vomiting in five minutes, repeat the
dose. After vomiting give the whites
of two or three eggs and send for the
doctor.
A severe cold can be soonest cared by
remaining within doors, in a warm room
and near the tire, until all signs of it
have disappeared. Then care should
be taken to prevent a relapse by having
the feet warmly clad and the whole
body, and particularly the chest and
the back of the neck, well protected
when going out
Sudden death from heart disease is
usually caused by rupture of some large
artery near the heart; from congestion
of the luugs by instantly st pping the
breath; from congestion of the brain,
by causing pressure on the brain which
paralyzes and instantly destroys life;
from apoplexy, by hemorrhage in the
brain.
Burns and scal.ls are soonest relieved
by an application of cold water. Dry
carbonate of soda, or baking soda,
sprinkled over the burned spot is the
latest remedy, and is said to be very
efiectuai. These means are only tempo
rary. In severe cases a physician should
be sent for.
When an artery Is cut, the red blood
spurts out at each pulsation. Press the
tuumb firmly over the aftery near the
wound, and on the side toward the heart.
Press Lara enough to stop the bleeding,
and wait till a physician comes. The
wounded person is often able to do this
himself if he has the requisite knowl
edge.
Heart disease most frequently results
from neglected or improperly treated
rheumatism. It more often follows
mild rheumatism than the severe kind,
because severe rheumatism receives
prompt treatment, while the mild form
is often neglected and left to work its
way to the heart.
Welsh Rare bit.—Stir together in v
saucepan over the fire one-quarter of a
pound of grated cheese, two tableepoon-
fuls of butter, a quarter of a teaspoouful
each of salt, dry mustard, and pepper,
with a dust of cayenne, pour these on a
large slice of buttered toast and serve
at once.
Whooping cough has been successful
ly treated by tin peutine vaper. The
theory was discovered by allowing a
child, sick with the disease, to sleep in
a room freshly painted when a noticea
ble improvement took place.
In fracture of the skull, with oompres-
siou and loss of consciousness, examine
the wound, and, if possible, raise the
broken edges of the skull so as to re
lieve the pressure on the brain Prompt
action will often save life.
A five minutes nap is often better
than an hour's sleep, because you do
not wake up with that half-dead feeling
which some people complain of when
we urge them to rest, and the sleepless
ness is gone.
There are no two substances known
that can furnish better sustenance to
the body aud brain than whole wheat,
unleavened bread and cow’s milk.
Simple fractures may be adjusted by
alr.ost any one. Get the limb as neaily
as possible m the natural position, and
then send for the doctors. There is no
great urgency in such oases.
To make delicious Scotch short-bread
take half a pound of flour, the same of
sugar, also of butter; melt the sugar
and butter together, aud then add ths
flour a little at a time.
Educate the stomach. When it is
once accustomed to simple food, vora
cious appetite, distress and dia«a»« nill
disappear.
Always strain lemonade which 1b in
tended for a sick person.
HUMOROUS.
Aurora has a little jackass that enjoys
a drunken spree and will drink liquor
until his ears can no longer wag. While
under ths influence of wine or whiskey
he will perform many amusing tricks.
Several weeks ago a number of Bodieites
visited Aurora. After drinking all they
could conveniently carry, the Bodieites
turned their attention to the jack. He
was escorted into a saloon and the cham
pagne ordered. The jack took his
'‘medicine” like an old-timer. After
the second quart had bisappeared the
animal became frisky and wanted more.
He tried to climb up on tbs bar. and
when intimidated he displayed a bad
temper by kicking a county official in
the abdomen and biting a lawyer’s leg.
Not until he had drunk a pint of whisky
did the intemperate jack quiet down.
In the morning he was found stretched
out near a deserted building. A cock
tail revived him, and he was ready for
another “run with the beys”
Au insurance agent named Pyle,
In running fell over the stile,
St. Jacob's Oil gave bim relief
And the pam was so brief,
He got up and said: “I should smile.”
A lame old lady at Keyser,
Had no one to advise her,
’Till Doctor John Boyle,
Tried St. Jacob’s Oil,
Its action did simply surprise her.
“Carlo" was formerly a handsome
and good-natured Newfoundland dog.
belonging generally to the United
States steamer John F. Hartley, sta
tioned at North Beach* but of ’ate ho
has shown a disposition to insert his
iucisors in the calves of the legk of snob
individuals as came into his presence
without a suit of broad-cloth on to be
speak them as gentlemen. This partic
ular abhorrence of persons illy-dressed
gained so strong a hold upon him as to
induce him yesterday to take a chunk
of flesh out of the leg of one of the at
taches of the Hartley, simply on account
of that individual happening to to have
on garments that were cone’derably
soiled in consequence of having been at
work cleaning machinery. The two
had, up to that time, been the best of
friends, but the bonds of affection were
suddenly sundered and, after having
his legs tied together, Carlo was pitched
into the bay, and in the course of ten
minutes he was food for the fishes.
A Cure of Pneumonia.
Mr. tv h. BansE*;y, of Owego, N. Y., siys that his
daughter was taken with a violent cold which termi
nated with pneumonia, and all the beet pbycdciana
gave the case np and said she could not five but a few
hour* at moet She was In this condition when a
friend recommended Dr. HalTa Bat* am for the lungs
and advised her to try it she accepted It as s last re
sort, and was surprised to find that it produced a
marked change for the totter, and by persevering in
Us use a permanent cure was effected.
Townaley’e Toothache Anodyne cures instantly.
Oh yes! the manager of the opera
troupe watt much annoyed because his
prima donna had a way of getting a
cold and refusing to sing every few
nights. So he got a little girl with a
pretty fair voice to learn the same parts
and sing when the prima donna had a
cold. Then he went to the critics, who
are always ready to assist in any laud
able enterprise, and got them, when
the prima donna refused to sing, to
praise the substitute’s singing as the
finest ever heard. And the prima don
na got well enough to sing the next
night, and hasn’t had a cold since, and
hates the little substitute like poison.
Great racket.
The Frazer Axle Greace
Is the beat in the market. It is the most
economical and cheapest, one bo'x lasting a*
long an two of any other. One greasing wifi
last two weeks. It received first premium at
the Centennial and Paris Exp >eitions, also
medals at various State fairs. Bay no other.
An event at Abeline, Kan., has de
monstrated that a woman does not like
a jumping-jack for a Christmas gift.
Miss Foreman found such a toy, marked
with her name, on a church-sociable
Christmas tree. Her affianced espoused
her cause, learned that one bhadinger
was the praotioal-joker donor, and pro
ceeded to kill him. He received one
bullet in the lungs and in return woun
ded the assailant. Probably the lady's
betrothed felt that as long as she had
him. she didn’t need any more jumping-
jacks.
The M:cee stul man has many imitators
in bis peculiar line of business, but still
there is only one originator. So, also, the
great petroleum hair renewer, UarboHne,as
now improved and perfected, holds the
palm against ail mutators as a genuine ar
ticle of menu Tiy it.
After a Wisconsin clergyman had
preached a sermon against the sin of
wearing finery, a Mr. Thomas went
home and tore a silk dress off his wife.
Then Mrs. Thomas smashed his gold
watch, and it must have done the
preacher’s heart good to see how dis
posed his hearers were to carry out his
teachings.
Skinny Meu.
“tV alWHealth Renewer”restores health and vigor
cures Dyspepsia, Impotence, Sexual Debility. $L
When others are suffering, drop a word
of kindness and sympathy. If they are
suffering from a Cold, give them Dr. Bull’s
Cough Syrup; a few doses of this valuable
remedy will afford Instant relief, and a
twenty-flve cent bottle will cure the worst
Congh.
Not more than one time in fifty does
a clergyman give out a hymn without
adding that such and such a verse will
be omitted. This adds variety to the
entertainment, and makes the people
think that the pastor is a man of vast
erudition in musical matters.
Dr BULL’S
A icnnsTEB laboring In the mountain
districts of Fayette County, W. Va.,
gives the following oonvernation he had
with a woman there recently.
“Is your husband at home?”
“No; he is coon hunting. He killed
Wo whopping big coons last Sunday.
“Does he fear the Lord?”
“1 guess he does, ’cause he always
takes his gun with him.”
“Have you any Presbyterians around
here?”
“I don’t know if he has killed any or
not. You can go behiud the house and
look at the pile of hides to see if you
can find any of their skins.”
‘ ‘I see ♦hat you are hviug in the dark. ”
“Yea, bnt my husband is going to
out out a winder soon.”
Dr. Pierce’s “Favorite Prescription” Is
not extolled as a “cme-all,” but admirably
fulfils a singleness of purpose, being a moet
potent specific in those chronic weaknesses
b^iivr Jo women. Pjirti.-vleqj in Dr.
erce’s pamphlet treatise on DiseitSes Pe
culiar to Women, % pages, sent for three - !
stamps. Address World’s Dispensary
Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y.
yibfm
Rheumatism, C r(euralgia, Sciatica,
Lumbago, Backache, Headache, Toothache,
uumuayu, uavnavxvy ..W—
aoM>Thro»t,Mwellln«*.!*pr»ln» 1 Br«»e*o,
Burns, Nealdn, Frost Bites,
AID ALL 01U1U BODILY PAHS AID ACIIIS^
Drug«i«U»nd Dclera rvprv wh'T«. Ft fly C«nuj
J Directloua tn U Languages.
THE CHARLES A. VOCELU*
iiAR'irnTii it IT n I
MUSTANG
Survival of the FiW.I
A FAMILY MFDICIXK THAT DAS HBALED|
MILLIONS DURING 35 YEARS I
iraHnunuT.
A BAUM FOR EVERY WOUND OF
MAN AND BEAST I
THE0LDE8T&BEST LINIMENT
EVER MADE IN AMERICA.
SALES LARGER THAN EVER.
The Mexican Mustang Liniment has
been known for more than thirty-five
S ears os the best of all Liniments, for
Ian and Beast. Its sales to-day are
larger than ever. It cures when all
others fail, and penetrates skin, tendon
and muscle, to the very bouc. Sold
everywhere.
dOSHITE^
Fitter 5
What the great restorative, Hoscetter’a Stomach
Bttters, will do, mast be gathered from what it has
done. It has effected radical cures in thousands
of cases of dyspepsia, bilious disorders, intermit
tent fever, nervous affections, geueral debility,
constipation, sick headache, mental despondency,
and the peculiar complaints and disabilities to
which the feeble are so subject.
For sale by all Druggists and Dealers generally.
DrlliSEYmiODMEK
r
. Nottla* in tte world equal to it tor the
cure of Scrofula. PlmplM, Bella, Tetter, Ola Soree,
Sere Byc», Mercurial Dlseasee, Cturrh. l«u of
Appetite, Female Complaint*, and nil Blood
dlreasca. It never fail*. All druggists and
country More keeper* nil it. K. K. mellen
A Co., Prop**, ritubnrgh, on erery bottle.
A Connecticut minister has denouno
ed the time-honored custom of kissing
at ohtufch sociables, That is all right;
nobody wants the ministers to do all
the kissing; we will do it ourselves.
* Druggists say that Lydia E. Ptnkham’a
Vegetable Compound is the best remedy
tor female complaints they ever heard of.
A desperate fight took place at a
Kansas prayer meeting, Probably the
congregation were driven to desperation
by one of the deacons talking through
his nose.
For sore feet, swollen joints, sprains, corns
or bunions, mw St. Patrick’s Salve.
“The eagle in one bonne.” says Gres-
set, “is the fool Hi another.” Certainly.
The man who talks the loudest in the
railway car and contradicts everybody
at the hotel table, seta the dinner table
aud washes the baby at home.
Duory’a Little Cathartic Pill—best
made tor Liver Complaint and Biliousness.
Tasteless, harmless, infallible. 15c.
Therm are a hundred and four boys
born to every hundred girls. Nature
evidently makes allowances for suits for
breach of promise.
For Truck Hex
Heavy stomachs, bihoaa conditions—Wells’ May
Apple Pii::—ami-bUtoao, cathartic. 1C and xsc.
Speak gently to your servant girl, for
verily she has the pdwer to rain yoa by
letting the water ran and the gu born
far into the night,-
SAG J we ek tn your own town. Terms and *6 outfit
WX-'V* free. Address H.Hallxtt * Co.. PorUand.Me
A ®?3 ,lr *L WA *! TKD lor the Best and Fmsteet-
XX selling Pictorial Books and Bibles. Prices re-
duced 33 per cent. Natioxal Pub. Co.. PhDada.. Fa.
THE SUN IVFIVISS,.
mr-
,t re-
The suiierflaous words and phrases or ancientj
naliani wire long ago discarded l>y THE HUN It™-
. * f^b. aiieclnct, unconventional way all the
news ol the world, and It says exactly what It thinks
about men and vents Subscription: Daily
(A pages), by mail, »3«>. a month, or fff.SO a year;
*rt*ii» AT i>l.20 tor year; Weekly (8 pages),
vo per year.
L W. ENGLAND. Publisher, New York City.
300
FARMS for sale—on < r near salt water;
healthy and mild climate, tend stamp. If. C.
LlNDaEY A CO.. 134 Main St., Norfolk. Va.
FREE “Health Helper”
***«*A»PerIectHealth. H.H.Uoxl04Buflal,>,N.Y.
865TEACHERS
_ Light Business in your county. Address,
ZIEGLEK* CO., 915 Arch 8L, Philadelphia.
udder's
PASTILLES
flare relief AST m
••by mail. Stowril A Co.
ICharleatown, I~
A Brave and Falihftil Gnardbta of Onr
Stoases and Property Rrarced from Im
minent Peril.
A very popular end well-known member of our po
lice force, who has performed duty twelve years at the
Union B. K. Depot, on Exchange i lace, in Provldenoo,
R. L, gives his unsolicited testimony. Bear him:
“I have been dreadfully troubled with disease of the
Kidney and Liver during the iwst six months; at times
1 was so severely afflicted tliat I was unable to stand
on my feet, as my feet and lower parts o myl -ga were
very badly swollen; my urinary organa were in a
dreadful condition, my blood was in a wretched state,
and it had become so impoverished a; d circulated so
poorly that my hands and feet would to cold and numb
and so white as to appear Ufelese. I could not rest nights,
but waa so distressed all over that I could not lie stlU
in bed, but would keep turning snd rolling iron one
ride to the other all night, so that I would feel more
tired and exhausted in the morning than when I went
to bed. My condition became so serious that I was
obliged to stop work, aud for thirty days I was unable
to be on doty. I consulted the best doctors, snd ti led
the numerous medicines and so called cures, but rap
idly grew worse, snd was in a sad conditiSh every way
when a long-time valued friend of mine, prominent in
this city In s large express company, urge I me to try
Hunt's Remedy, as he had known of wonderful cures
effected by it. Upon bis repre*ratat on I obtained two
bottles of the R raedy and commenced taking It as
directed, snd grotty to my surprise In less than
twenty-four hours I commenced to feel relieved. I
was In an awful condition when I began to take the
Remedy, and had no frith In it; therefore, when I
found almost immediate relief, even In one day’s use
of it, my heart waa made glad, and l assure you I con-
and the result Is that I Improved s)ieedliy all the time
I was away; and ever since my arrival home, which
was several weeks ago. I have been on duty every day
I feel first rate, and the swelling ot hand, ftot and
M« have disappeared, and the terrible beckaoh.
wmcb used to bother me more than all the rest, trou
bles me no more, and I sleep splendidly nights, and
surely have very excellent and lordble reasons for
apeskmg in praise of Huut's Remedy, for It has made
a new man of me. I don’t know what I should have
done without Hunt’s Remedy: it la the best medicine
that I ••wtTok, and I very gbdly recommend It to all
who are afflicted with Kidney or Liver disease, or dia-
of the Urinary organa
Isaac V. Faikbuothkb.”
After a bore of the worst type had
nearly driven an Austin man crazy, the
former asked:
“Do you know that to-day is the
shortest day in the year?”
The sufferer sighed, and then said,
with great deliberation:
“I thought so this morning, but your
visit has created doubts in my mind as
to it being the shortest day in the year.”
The bore took his departure, and as
he closed the door the much relieved
man said confidentially to Luitbeif:
“Joshua was a fool, compared to that
fool, for making the sun stand still.”
“Accept our
Dr. It. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.: Dear
gfr Your “Golden Medical Discovery has
cured my boy of a lever sore of two years
standing. Please accept our gratitml^
Yours truly, HKNltY WHITING,
Boston, Mass.
“How many ends has a stick of candy
got ?” asked Billy Smartboy of his fath
er,
“Two, of course.”
“That’s where you are mistaken. I
have bitten three or four ends off this
stick of candy and there are two left
yet.”
Dr. Pierce’s “Pellets”—little liver pills
(sugar-coated)—purify tho blood, speedily
correct all disorders of the liver, stomach,
and bowels. By druggists.
A religious exchange says that the
church that kno \b how to conduct suc
cessfully a “church sociable” knows
how to practice as well as to preach
brotherly love; but how to do this is a
problem which not a few churches have
found too much for their solution.
Mecsman’s Peptonized beef tonic, th«
only preparation of beef containing its en
tire nutritious properties. It contains
blood-making, force generaung and life-
sustaining properties; invaluable for indi
gestion, dyspepsia, uervous prostration, and
all forms of general debility; also, in all
enfeebled conditions, whether the result of
exhaustion, nervous prostration, overwork
or acute disease, particularly if resulting
bom pulmonary complaints. Caswell,
Hazard & Co., proprietory New York.
Bold by all druggista. '
It is convenient to have 2 hens hatch
ing at the same time; for not only if
accidents happen may the 2 broods be
united, but on the hatching day, it
occurs that, to prevent the newly bom
chicks being crushed by the eggs that
are behind time, we wish to give all
that are hatched to one hen, while the
other takes care of the eggs alone. Not
only does this give security to the chicks
who inn great hazard of being crushed
by the eggs if they are kept for any
prolonged space under their mother, bnt
the unhatched eggs also stand a far
better chance; for when a hen finds
chickens under her she sits higher from
the eggs, and less warmth is afforded
them at the time they require most.
Dr. Kline’s Great Nerve Restorer ts the
marvel of the age for all nerve diseases. AU
fits stopped tree. Bend to 931 Arch Street*
Philadelphia, Pa.
Breeding geese are in their prime
from 3 to 5 years old. The gander
should be a year older. Eggs from young
geese do not hatch so well, the goslings
are not so strong,hardy,or large asthore
bred from older birds. One gander to
3 is sufficient, but if only 2 are kept
with him it is much better, as the gan
der is really inclined to be a monogam
ist. It geese are well fed during winter
they will begin to lay early in March
from 8 to 12 eggs. They generally give
2 or 3 11.tors in a season, varying from
6 to 10 eggs each time, according to
breed, feed, and care given them.
Ladies and chilurcn’s boots and shoes
cannot run over if Lyon’s Patent Heei
Stiffeners are used
Secretary Shaffer, ol the Iowa
Agricultural Society, says the cabbage
worm has destroyed whole fields and
acres of cabbages, and the remedies of
lime,ashes, brine,salt and Jye have been
failures. Birds do not take them, and
hens and chickens tied among the plants
which were previously covered with
meal, never touched a worm or drove
away the swarms of butterflies which
were so numerous as to appear like a
snowstorm. • But the use of pyrethrum
wae attended with entire success. A
pound of the leaves of the plant, mixed
with 150 gallons of water, killed every
young worm with which it came in con
tact, while it is harmless to main
That Husband of Mine
Is three times the man he was before he bcimn
urin* Wells’ Health Renewer. »1. DruggisS®
The Homestead hopes there are no
farmers in New England who are in
tending to use cotton seed meal as a
ferti izer next season, for the prEtctioe is
a Wasteful one in the extreme. ■" If fed
to cattle, ansi the manure used on the
land, a much greater benefit is receivec
for the money invested Fully } oi the
plant food in the cotton seed meal pas
ses into the manure, while the rest pays
a good profit on the whole in milk or
beef. Bo buy cottonseed meal and feed
it out in winter instead of extravagantly
applying it directly to the soil in the
spring, thus losing one profit.
The sheep is a close grazer, and even
prefers short pastures. It is scrupu
lously clean, though not very select in
the choice ti herbage on which it freds.
Wool, being a,highly nitrogenous sub
stance, requires a larger supply of al
buminoid food for sheep thau other ra
miuants demand. Wool being the chief
profit of sheep farming, it will be econ
omy to feed oats or oiJ rake pretty free
ly to secure a liberal growth of this
staple.
A NOTED BUT UNTITLED WOMAN,
[from the Boston Globe.]
tteun. Editor* >—
Toe above la a good likeness of Mrs. trills E. Pink,
bain, ot Lynn, Mass., who above all other human beings
may be truthfully called ths ‘ Dear Friend ot Woman,"
as some of her correspondents love to call her. She
Is sealously devoted to her work, which is the outcome
of a life-study, a .u 2s obliged to keep six lady
assistants, to help her answer the large correspondence
which dally pours In upon her, each bearing Its special
burden of suffering, or Joy at release from It. Her
Vegetable Compound is a medicine for good and not
evil purposes. I have personally Investigated it and
am satisfied of the truth of this.
On account of Its proven merits^lt Is recommended
and proscribed by tho best physicians in the country.
One says i “ It works like a charm and saves much
pain. It will cure entirely the worst form of falling
of the uterus, Lcucorrhoea, Irregular and painful
Menstruation, all Ovarian Troubles, Inflammation and
Ulceration, Floodings, all Displacements and the con
sequent spinal weakness, and is especially adapted to
the Change of Life."
It permeates every portion of the system, and gives
new Ilfe and vigor. It removes faintness, flatul<48>
destroys all craving for stimulants, and relieve* weak
ness of the stomach. It cures Bloating, Headaches,
Nervous Prostration, General Debility, Sleeplessness,
Depression and Indigestion. That feeling of bearing
down, causing pain, weight and backache, Is always
permanently cured by Us use. It will at all times, and
under all circumstanutw, act in harmony wire, .ne law
that governs the female system.
It costs only $L per bottle or six for |S., and is sold by
druggists. Any advice required as to special cases, and
the names of many who have been restored to perfect
health by the use of the Vegetable Compound, eaa be
obtained by addressing Mis. F., with stamp for reply,
at her home in Lynn, Mass.
For Kidney Complaint of either sex this com pound Is
Unsurpassed as abundant testimonials show,
“Mrs. Pinkham’s Liver Fills,” says one writer, “are
the beet in the world for the cure of Constipation,
Biliousness and Torpidity of the liver. Her Blood
Purifier works wonders In Its special Une and bids fair
to equal the Compound In Its popularity.
All must respect her as an Angel of Mercy whose sola
ambition is to do good to others,
Philadelphia. Pa. (3) Mrs. A. K. D.
11 unfailing and In fab
Uabls In curing Epil
eptic Fits, Spasms,
Convulsions, Bt. Vitus
Danes, Alcoholism,
Opium Bating, Nar>
voua debility .Scrofula
land all Nervous and
I Blood diseases. Ts
Clergymen, Lawyers,
Literary men. Mar-
chants. Bankers, La
dles and all whom se
dentary employment
causes Nervous Pros
tration, Irregularities
of the blood, stomach,
bowels or klndeys, or
who require a nerve
tonic, appetiser or
stimulant, Samaritan
Nervine I* In valuabls.
Thousands proclaim II
. . . the most wonderful In.
vlgorant that ever sustained the sinking system. Fee
SlSj&fJWSf*!?*?- 8. A. RICHMOND
MEDICAL CO- Sole Proprietors, Bt. Joseph, Mo.
“THE BEST IS CHEAPEST."
wes. THRRHFR^ 8AWIILl8 ’
HonePowen ■ niluOilLnO Cl«rerHillen
(Suited to all sections.) Write for free Ulna Pamphlet
and Prices to The Aultman & Taylor Co., Mansfield. Ohio.
kw NEVER TAIEt.^f
MIES I
J WHUE AU EUf FAILS.
Best Cough Syrup. Tastes good.
Use In time. Sold by druggists.
STOPPED FREE
Marvitous success.
Insane Persons Keslored
Dr.KLIKE’S GREAT
NerveRestorer
r er a//Brain & Kbrvb DisRASES- Only sure
cure for Nerve Affections. Fits, etc.
IHPALLIBLR if taken as directed. No Fits after
first day's use. Treatise and $2 trial bottle free t*
Fit pati< nts, they paying’ expre&s charges on box when
received. Send nanus, P. 6. and express address of
afflicted to DR.KLINE.ctt Arch St..Philadelphia,Pa.
OF IMITATING FRAUDS*
Druggists. BE WARS <
B OOK agents
IX W A. NT ED
FOB * THK MACK-WOODSMEN OB
TA1.KM OF THE BOKDEBU.
The moat captivating narrative of early border lif<
IVftT writtom. A RdXM net wen fll/Y A nvxv,
-vvva*. .rwuvA x*/A iXTXiun auu UUTUIUKTO 1IW.
Pririglam Brothers, 63 N. 7th street, Philo., Pa.
$5 Day Jungtt $2 Sample Free
Address ,/ QenT Agency, 159 Hudson r sa«e: ) N.T.
»ayne’* Automatic Eagln«a.
I A Leadlng London Phys
ician establish ns aa
Office In Mew Turk
for the Cure ef
J EPILEPTIC PITS.
— ' PeemAmJeomaXofHedidee.
.'S* London), who nakas a spe
cialty of SpUepay, ha* without dou-t treated and cored
mors cates than any other living phyelclea. fiUiueeeta
*»«“ “tonUhlng; we have heard of cam ol
ever *0 years’ standing eucoee*fully cured by him. H«
has published a work on this disease, which be eend*
wonderful cure free to any *06
", r ®. r who “*J send their expre** .ml P. O. Address W*
Odvtas ay one wl«htngs cure to addres*
■ Jr.AB.MEaikoLK. No.MJotm BA, New York.
A Cure wr KpUeney or Fits in 94 hours. 1
Z\. poor. Da. Kbubz. ash Antenai st. Bt. Lera
YOTTNQ MEN 1 ~
Circulars free. VALENTINEB5(lS y j2ntStil
OPIUM
ffSa****"* Habit Cared
iT.. 2 ? *?**»• Noixty tlllCi
Da. J. Btkphknh, Lebanon,
cinnatl, O
36 to *2d agsasmeriga
C. B. C.SwSfVf'SffiSLfSi
an