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WEEKLY EDITION. WIXySBORO, S. ,C.. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 1882. _ ESTABLISHED IN 1844. a ? _ ? .1 Coanuy Boy in Winter. r< The wind may blow the snow about, For all I care, says Jack, And I don't mind how a id it grow^ For then tie ice won't crack. ^ LOid folks may thiver all day long, J ^ But I shall never freeze; | x?Vhat csrcs a jolly boy like me j ? For winter days like these. * Far down the Ions enow-covered hills J j"* It is such fan to coast, I ^ BBfr So clear the road: the fastest sled ? There is in school I boast. St T^. The paint is pretty well worn off, . But then I take the lead; A dandy sled's a loiterer, And 1 go in for speed. _ oL ? vVhen I go homo at supper-time, kKi! but my cheeks are red! They bum and sting like anything; 01 I'm cross until I'm fed. Xou ought to see the biscuit go, ^ X am so hungry then: ^ "And old Aunt Tolly says that boys cc Eat twice as much as men. ? Vfi There's always something I can do p< To pass the time away; TO. The dark comes quick in winter-time? & A ehort and stormy day P] * ,'.77 And when I give my mind to it, ^ ^ xv o j uoi <0-3 tauia X almost do a man's work now, ^ And help him many ways. ^ I like to hear the old horse neigh hi Just as I come in sight, The oxen poke me with their horns fcr 6k To get their hay at night. cr K Somehow the creatures seem like friends, se And like to see me come. ea Some fellows talk about New York, th Bui I shall stay at home. at ?Sarah 0. Jewett, in Harper's Young People. ^ ? m wi A DUNCE'S WORK. ? -an W( :'Hamp See, a dunce! Weil, maybe in so ; but arter what I've seed, it 'ud take za a smarter schoolmaster than you to ws make me think so." he It was old Riley Vaughn who spoke, as and although old Riley had no educa- be tion, his hard sense and sound judgment were respected by all the men who sat there in the village postoffica ^ waiting for the mail. He had grown prosperous by dint of hard work and aggood judgment, and his neighbors were accustomed to ask for and to respect his s?( opinions. ' 'I did not say precisely that, Mr. Vaughn," rep-ied Mr. Penruddock, the schoolmaster. {,I only said my best efforts to educate the boy were rendered futile a*ad negatory by reason of his in- 0}( -explicfkblr inability to grasp and retain gaj so siir.ple a thing as the accidence of v0 the Latin verb." 2c< "That means, in plain English, that wc he ain't got no grip on what you teach him, don't it ?' asked Rilev. " Yes, that is what I mean," replied ar( the schoolmaster, -with something like a ?0[ - , shudder at old Riley's English. "But I will make an honorable exception in ^ the matter of mathematics. He seems on instinctively to grasp arithmetical prin- ^ ciples/' f "Yes," drawled old Eiley ; " one 'o de your boys tole me Hamp could figure out how long it 'ud take for a cistern to no get full ef they was three pipes 'o difierent sizes a rnnmn' into it, an' two others 'o still different sizes a-runnm' >? , no QSL1 "Yes, he is expert in the practical ^a* L applications of arithmetic ; and yet in no arithmetic his standing is not good, ^ because he seems incapable of mastering the exact terms of the formulae and an rules." _ m( "Well, now, look here," said old ca] jsiiey, rising ana sin King ice counter , with his big fist; "it jest comes to this f0( here, the bey ain't got no grip on yonr W words an' things; but he's got a good grip on idees and principles, an' it's my belief that's the inside o' sense I , don't want to be unnecessarily offensive, but yon an' all schoolmasters like an, you ought to teach parrots. They don't ^ want no idees; they just want the , words, an' that's your notion o' learnin'. j _ That's the trouble o' this here country , down here; men learn wor Js an' kin ca, make speeches, but they can't do no- ^ * thin'. Now I've seed that boy Hamp ^ See do what nary a man in this county jycould do. I bought the fust reapin'- ^ ^machine as was ever seed in these parts, ^ an' whea it came it was all to pieces, ^ an' packed in boxes. I sent one arter another fer all the blacksmiths- an' wheelwrights an' carpenters hereabout c^, to set the thing up, an' I'm blest ef one on 'era could make out which end o' the thing was foremost. Not one on gv 'em could pnt any two pieces together. i That 'ere boy hnng around all the time, caj wiiu"' his forred creased tip like, an' ani finally he says to me, says he, 'Mr. r Vaughn, let me try.' 'Well try,' says I; ^ 'an' ef yon git her together, I've got a WQ five-dollar bill fer yon.' Maybe yon 0?c won't believe it, bnt afore noon that 0?c very day, that there reaper vas a-reapin' -n( wheat like a dozen hands. The boy ^ jest seed right into the thing. Now I , . say ef he's a dunce, the sooner most b poople in these parts lose their senses as an' gets to be dunces, the better 'twill an be for all concerned." And with that at ^ old Riley stalked indignantly ont of the m. DostoSce. r Notwithstanding all that old Riley als could say, however, public opinion was against Eamp See. It was certain that ^ he was dull in his lessons. He could ' not keep up with Mr Penruddock's classes, and instead of stndying his jjLatin verbs, he was perpetually intert rip ting the school by asking Mr. Pen- gruddock to explain things like thunder ; and lightning and the presence of shells jac in the rocks on the mountain, and the ( curious ways plants have of taking care ^ of themselves?things which had no QU relation to the work of the school. It ^ was agreed that Riley Vaughn could not i know anything *bout education, be- cause" he was not himself educated. It was even said?and this came to Rilev's fV, e.rs?that he was prejudiced against ?t education. Even Hamp's mother was wa f discouraged. Hamp was always '-potter- ^ ing," she said, instead of attending to his books. ge, "Why," she said, "he is been fooling ^ with a spring on the bill back of the ^ house the whole season through. He's .0*5a pipes to bring the water down here, ?, * and now he's turned the whole house into a mill." Then she would show her ? r~ visitor what Hamp had dor^. He had ^ constructed an ing^uious water-wheel * with -xhich to make the most of the ej{ L power afforded by the spring, and had ^ set it to a variety of tasks. A stretch of line shafting passed under the Hoor of v r V J v 1? UI jjjfly* uHG JJEULIU.O yaootu through the floor to the chum and the ^ sewing-machine, and even the sausage chopper could be attached at wim "I don't deny that it's handy, and saves * work " said his mother. ''And now he's ^ made a sort of a fan in the dining-room, and has set chat going, too, so that it ^ keeps the flies oS the table. If we had a baby in the h->use, I believe he'd Wj make the water rock the cradle. But ^ it's discouraging about his studies. Mr. ^ Penruddock is in despair, and says he j don't know whatto be made of the t, s boy." tl k The summer proved to be a very dry one, and the gardens especially suffered ^ for water. When the people began to U 'V~r?i/^oo W Ck Q1 _ I V/VUJLU1U1U, i xlttU. au u.w ?* ways bad an idea when au emergency 3' art.se. Be went into his mother's gar- ^ den and worked all day, digging a & trench down the middle, and making _ ? XittJa trenches at right angles to the I ^ aaia one, so thai each bed was but- j B IP':.' |fe jurded by them, and the larger beds i rossel as well. He was very careful ' d keep all these trenches on one level. | ifhen he had finished, he laid a drain om his "water-wheel to the main ench, so that the waste water, after irning the wheel, was carried into the arden and emptied into the trench, little by little the main trench filled; len the water trickled into the smai. -i enches, and as the spring from which came was a never-failing one, the ! irden was supplied with water j iroughout the dry, hot summer, and j icn a garaen noooay in tnat region | id seen that season. People caid that Hanip See certainly J as a bandy sort of boy; but they were ! ire to add, "It's a pity he is so dull." ' One day eld Riley Vaughn was offer- j g extravagant prices for horse, mule, I ox teams to hanl stone. He had | ken a contract to supply from his larrv the stone for the railroad bridge rer Bush ran, and now the time for slivery was near at hand, and no teams >uld be had. All the horses were at ork on the crops, and it began to apjar that old Riley must either lose oney on the contract by hiring horses id mules and teamsters at ruinous ices, or forfeit the contract itself. He ied in every direction to get mules ?* wagons, offering twice the usual ages, bnt still he could get very few. e was in real trouble, with a loss of veral thousand dollars threatening m. One day Eamp, who knew what ouble Riley was in, went down to the eek, and, cntting several twigs, began ttjng them up at a distance from ,eh other, and sighting from one to .e other. The few teamsters who were work watched him curiously, but 2, ~ ? i. T L "U >uiu xiui mase out wuai* ue was uuiug, i e went up the creek with his sticks, oving one of them at a time, and aliys earefullv sighting from one to LOther, or rather from one ove tother to a third. In this way he Drked np to the quarry, which was j imediately on the creek, nearly a! Lie above the point where the bridge j is to be bnilt. When he had done, ! > walked back, examining the banks | he went; then he presented himself! fore Riley Yanghn. "Mr. Vanghan," he said, "I've an ea that will help yon ont of yonr fficuity." "Will it hire teams to hanl stone?" ^ed Riley. <<\TA V?T?f if imll ATI oV\!a TTAT1 f A i.W) u Ltu xu mu wowio j vu lv uaui me without teams." "If it will?. "Well, let me hear what is," said Riley, changing his purpose lila speaking. ' 'Raft the stones down," said Hamp. "Now look a-here, Hamp See," said 1 Rilej, "I've stood up fer you, an' id you wan't no dunes when everydy else said you was; but this here )ks as ef they was right an' I was ong. How in natur' kin I raft stone wn a creek that ain't got more'ne six : inches o' water in it, a-bubblin' jund among the stones of the botn?" "Well, you see," said Hamp, "I've, reled up from the quarry a ad there's ly two feet fall, or a little less, and * banks are nowhere less than five it high; and so, as there's a good ai more water running down in a day in anybody would think, it's my tion to build a temporary dam just low the bridge?you've enough timr and plank here to do it with two urs' work of your men?building it, j, sis feet high, there vhere the nks are closr&t together. Refore on to-morrow the water will rise to $ top of fche dam, and run. When it es, you'll have six feet of water here d four feet at the quarry, and your sn can push rafts down as fast as they i load them." riTT J T 4-tttss 1 " JCLUW UU JiUU W LliCtC D UlliJ unu )t fall 7" asked old Riley, eagerly. "I've leveled it," said Eamp. "That is, you figgered it out with jm sticks?" "Yes." "Are you sure you've got the right 3wer?" asked the old man, wild with jemess. "Perfectly sure. You see, it's" simple. >lant my sticks?" 1'Never mind about how you do it; I 1't understand that ef you explain it; t look me in the eyes, boy. This ing means thousands o' dollars to ley Yaughn ef you've got your answer :ht. I kin understand that much; ' ef# you've worked out this big sum ;ht for me, I'll choke the next man it says you're a dunce jest 'kase you n't take kindly to old .Penruddock's itterin' sort o' learnin'. I'll do it, or ' name ain't Riley Vaughn, an' that's :at I've been'called for nigh unto fifty0 year now." Did Riley was vividly excited. He led all his men to the place selected, 3 set them at work building the dam, lile Hamp looked on, and simply .de a suggestion for simplifying the rk. The dam was finished at three lock in the afternoon, and at six loc\ the water had risen two feet six ;hes, while the back water had passed :'There!" said Hamp "tliat proves my >rk. The water is level, of course, far as the back water 3hows itself, d we have six inches of back water the quarry and two feet six inches at 3 dam; so the fall is two feet." "It looks so," said Eiley, who was o eagerly watching the rise of the ter. The workmen had gone home, of them convinced that this attempt back the water a mile up the creek s the wildest foolishness; but old Ley and Hamp waited ancl watched. "It doesn't rise so fast now," said ; ley. "That's because it has a larger sur- j :e; but it still rises, and the surface j n't increase much mere now, as ; ire's a steep place just above the j arrv, and it can't back any further The two waited and watched. Midjht came, and the measurement j awed three feet six inches depth at i 3 dam. Still they waited and watched. i six o'clock in the morning the depth j s four feet two inches. Then Riley j it a boy to his house with orders to j ' * * -i. i. >> A i. I mg "a Dig Dreasxass lor iwu, i ren o'clock the breakfast arrived, and | b measurement showed four feet three j ihes and a-half. "It's a-risin' faster again," said j lev. "Yes ; the level is climbing straight i the blnff banks now, and not spreac.I out as it rises,'' said Hamp. nine o'clock the depth was fonr feet jht and a half inches, and the men at e qnarry had a raft ready, and were ginning to load it. Ten o'clock onght four feet eleven inches of iter, and at noon ihere were five feet : d fottr inches. "I've missed it a little," said Hamp. | said the water wonld run over the j m by noon, and it has still eight j ches to rise before doing tnat." "Well, that sort o? a miss don't j rant," said Riley. "You've worked i e sum out right, anyhow, an' tha 1 iter's deep enough for raftin', ar.' I ill a-risin'. It'll go over ihe dam i:i j 70 or three hours more, an' I'll do what j said: Til choke s?ny man 'at says ' >hn Hampden See's a dunce or an\- ; dng like it. An' that ain't all," said j Le old man rising and striking his fist j t the palm of his hand. '-Thej've been , sayin' that ole Riley Vaughn didn't j illy edicatioD ; now I'll shew 'em. Tra : goin' to make this dam a permanent | Lstitution. I'm a goin'to build Yaugha j See's foundry an' a ?ricnltooral m.liment factory right down the creek lere, an' put a big lot o' improve 1 Lftckiueryis. it; &a' I'm u-goin' to send ~A 'X. J*'V ""'*U '' 'ir-f&J v my pardner, John Hampden See, off next week to get the rest o' his edicacation where thej sell the sort o' edication as is good for him?not a lot o' words, but principles an' facts. You tell your mother you're a goin* to New York right away, boy, an' 'at ole Riley Vaughn's a-goin' to foot all the bills outen your interest in the comin' facory. You'll study all sorts o' figgerin' v- ork an' machine principles, in the big r>rvn 1 it> \T^t27 "VnrTr TrViof'o no 11^/^ f V>a scnooJ o' mines, an' then you'll go to all the big factories an' things." This scheme was carried out. Hamp spent three years in study, and returned an accomplished mechanical engineer. He went into the factory as old Riley's partner, and his work has been to improve machinery and processes. The firm own many patents now on things of his invention, and the factory is the center or a prosperous region, in which Hampden See is an especially respected citizen. A Mine of Precious Stones in North Carolina. Glittering accounts are given of the curious and interesting products of what is said to be the only mine of precious stones in the United States. The mine is owned by Hidden, Roberts & Yerrington. It is in Alexander county, North Carolina, about sixteen miles from Statesville. It has been worked to thirty-six feet depth in the lowest place, and a tunnel 261 feet long has been cut. mostlv through solid rock. for drainage. One of the proprietors, Mr. William Earl Hidden, said : "Oar mine produces a considerable variety of precious stones. We have already sold enough material to pay all expenses of the mine and our outlay for the property, which covers 153 acres. We have surplus material on hand. The largest gem yet taken out is a Hiddenite stone, which, when cut, weighed 25-6 carats. The Hiddenite is a spodumene emerald, composed of alumina and lithia. The real emerald is composed of alumina and glucina. The Hiddenite is valued at from $48 to $150 a carat. Lately the mine has yielded about $5,000 worth of true emeralds. Although none have yet been found to cut very large, they are valuable as specimens. The largest piece yet taken out is a triple prism 81-2 inches long. It is valued at $2,000. Many smaller pieces have been found. Some pieces are of very deep color. About onetenth of the Eiddenite found is fit for cutting. The colors are very bright, and even the smaller pieces are quite brilliant. "A new gem called rutile is among the products of the mine. It is valued at a carat, cut. It resembles the black diamond in its sparble. The luster is said to be unalterable by fire, air or water. "A peculiarity of some of tbe Eiddenite stones is that they are dichroic or two-colored. They seem to be dark blue-green in color down to the axis. The green is tinged with yellow through the axis. One very peculiar yield of the mine is what are called 'arrows of love.' The stones seem to be like pieces of clear agate embedding little pencils or webs of sparkling hairs. When turned in the light, these carious stones glitter with beautiful changes aad reflections. Most of the gems grow in pockets, being attached to the wails. In some cases prisms have been fonnd with the center? attached and the ends growing into space. Some of the terminations are peculiarly beautiful. "A very curious product of the mine is a peculiar crystal enclosing fluids. Sometimes one of these specimens left in the cold will explode like a pistol when the crystal freezes. Many of- the large crystals are valuable its specimens. Some weigh as much as twenty-five pounds. The fine gems found in the mine are worth from ten to thirty times their weight in gold. A good deal of iron pyrites, or fool's gold, has been found." While searching for minerals, the farmers of Alexander county have found many curious Indian relics manufactured of stone. Although many of these stone articles are deftly fashioned, and the work of tools, they must have cost long and patient, as well as skillful labor.?New York Sun. I Mormon Proselytism in Philadelphia. The Mormon missionaries are operating in the mountain townships of Fayette county, Pennsylvania, and a correspondent says the numbers of accessions to the ranks of polygamy are daily increasing. They are holding revival meetings and report good success. One of these missionaries was formerly a resident of Pennsylvania, and returns to tell his old friends and neighbors what a good thing polygamy is. He is producing a profound impression, and a large emigration to Utah is predicted. They think tha:"the day of miracles is not past, but that they are being daily performed by the prophets in Salt Lake City." His meetings are held in schoolhouses about here, and are largely attended. Any orthodox prayer-meeting stands no chance of a large gathering if held in the community where prophet "Pnrrlo i*a af. tVifl Rflm? time T>reachinsr ? J. w Mormonism. He says the spirit of the word is upou him ard he must proclaim His word. One of the voting men who j has lately become a convert here, when asked his opinion as to a plurality of wives, said: "If one wife is a blessing, as all Christendom admits, how can two or more be a curse ?" There is a real danger that if the government does not soon emphatically and thoroughly crush polygamy it will finally take root in many parts of our country. There are many dark and ssciuded places where the soil is ready for the noxious weed that now flourishes in Utah in defiance of law and government. "If one wife is a blessing, how can two be a curse ?" In Thibet they ask, "If one hundred is a blessing, how can seven be a curse ?" Such questions properly come from people who believe that miracles are j now performed, and unhesitatingly ac-1 cept the prophets who claim to be divinely inspired. An itinerant preacher is now'holding forth to large congregations in Louisville who pretends to the gift cf healincr. He carries a vial of oil in his pocket, and after preaching anoints all the afflicted who present themselves having faith. "Would it not be well to call our missionaries home, give the heathen of the South Seas and ; India a rest, and set them to work in our own enlightened, civilized and christianized America ?*'?Indianapolis Journal. A Bi?r Head ol Steam, Topnoody made up his mind that he ! wa> not going to be bossed any longer i by his wife, so when he weD* horns at I noon he called out impetuc sly, "Mrs. ! Topnoody! Mrs. Topnoody!" Mrs. T. j came out of the kitchen with a drop of J sweat on the end of her nose, a dish-rag j tied round her head, and a rolling-pin j in her hand, "Well, sir," she said, j "What'll you have ?' Topnoody stag- j gered, but braced up. "Mrs.Topnoody, j X want you to understand, madam"? j and he tapped his breast dramatically! ?"I am the engineer of this establishment." '-Oh, you are, are you ? Well, Topnoody, I want you to understand that 1"?and she looked dangerous?"I am the boiler that will blow up and sling the engineer over into the next county. Do yon hear the steam escaping, Topnoody ?" Topnoody heard it, and he meekly inquired if there was any assistance he could reader in the i hotsee work. FARM, GARDEN AND HOUSEHOLD. Fertilize the Garden. Our vegetables are noi; as progressive as they might be. Fraife culture has been brought, upon the whole, to a higher degree of perfection than vegetable culture, and there is still much to be desired in the way of growing vegetables. We believe that much fault lies in the manuring of vegetable grounds. The soil is allowed to got too poor, and it is believed that vegetables can be grown anywhere. Many vegetables rerin.i-e a. rinli mmstRnil. an.'? wherever droughts are feared particular pains should be taken to give the earth a moist and full manure. Those dried np beans really lack moisture, so do many carrots and turnips now in the market. The carrots that we have examined have not half the sugar in them they should hsive, and the bust roots are poor in color. Turnips are woody, and that delicious vegetable, the kohl-rabi, is as hard as stone, instead of possessing a moist, soft flesh. There is no , doubt about it, we want much teaching in the growth of vegetables, and those small, green tomatoes tell their tale also. There is not much encouragement given at fairs for the growth of vegetables. There would be no harm if all agricultural societies, colleges and meetings were to give their very best attention to the vegetable market. The First Calf. T+. is nftanAr fha tt'TiPn a Tipifflr hasher first calf, says the Indian Farmer, that the farmer thinks she will cot give ] more milk than will keep her calf in good condition, and lets them ran to- | gether to teach her the mystery of being , milked when she has her nest calf. In this decision there are two mistakes that 1 go far to spoil the cow for future use- j fulness. Cows are largely tha creatures of habit, and with their first calf every \ thing is new and strange to them, and they readily submit to be milked, and ^ think it is all ri^ht; but sufi'er them to run with the calf the first season, and ! a vicious habit is established that they ' will hardly forget in a lifetime. If they ] ever submit to be milked qaietly, it is 1 evidently under protest. But there is 11 a greater objection than this. The calf ! running with the cow draws the milk 1 every hour or /ai o, so that the milk < vessels are at no time distended with ; milk, though the quantity secreted in a \ given time may be large. But this is the natural timo to distend the milk < ducts and expand the udder to a good < capacity for holding milk. "When, with ! her nest calf, you require the milk to be retained twelve hours the udder becomes hard and painful and the milk leaks from the teats, or more likely, i nature accommodates ?he quantity of j the milk secreted to the capacity to re tain it, and the cow becomes perma- , nently a small milker. Much of the j future character of a cow, therefore, depends on her treatment with her first : calf. < Drouubtn aud Fertility. A wise provision of nature says the Prairie Farmer "turns a long continued ! drought into one means of restoring or ' supplying elements of fertility of which many soils have been depleted by constant cropping. Mineral ingredients . are indispensable to good crops. Chemical research has shown that an explanation for failing productiveness of soils that were originally rich, is found in * mnr rr a^qa(i -iTt fitn ^.v^onefin^ * jj-i iui; cauo.uouiuu ui jjjwaganic or mineral constituents -within ' the reach of the roots of plants. ' Manures and judicious rotation of crops are the expedients of the pr ovident and t intelligent husbandman in restoring cr ' supplying these ingredients which are ' taken away more or less, by what is re- i moved by the land in the shape of farm < products. A very dry season may be 1 accepted as not utterly unprofitable, ' for by a wise provision the ingredients * so much needed ?.re brough t up from depths below the reach of ordinary j farm crops, and in this way when there | is a long period of hot and dry weather J a vast amount of moisture is carried J from the earth by evaporation, and in ; the process of capilliary attraction, the ] moisture, which has been stored by j previous rainfalls and snow, is brought < from depths that vary accorcb'ng to the < texture of the soil and the severity of 5 the droughts. With the water comes, in ] solution, a proportion of the inorganic j or mineral constituents of plants, which are thus deposited within the reach of present or future crops?that is, where they are needed and will do the most good. ! Poultry. J In the opinion of an English breeder ! fowls are largely neglected in the winter months, and it is then when they are of the most value as layers and when their retnrn ghould be tb e greatest. If it is right to give pigs and cows addi- 1 tional warmth, better food and housing 'I sure the same principle should apply in < dealing with poultry. Some animals ] feed all night as well as all day, and in this respect, winter makes no difference 1 to them; but with fowls it is quite ] different, for the poor things have to i combat severe weather and long hours ; without food, and yet they are expected to be productive. Long, cold winter nights "are enough to give disease to ( any fowl in the world when its stomach is empty and has nothing to snpply ! artificial warmth ; but no one seems to : think of this. In the present month, for instance, feeding must take place socn after four, and it cannot well be repeated until seven the next morning at the earliest, and on cold mornings . that is in all probability eight, so that the bird's last meal has to last them sixteen hours out of the twentv-four. ' This is not as it should be, and otir opinion is that feeding should be equal- ' ized, and, above all, the birds should | have ample sustenance in the night to 1 enable them to withstand the cold. It 1 is more important than the day feed- ' ing, because then they are active and find a great deal of food. We can only 1 say that if we kept a farm and intended ; to supply eggs to the markets our ; idea would be to arrange a system of J night feev 'n winter, so that the birds won ave food enough at the 1 last meal to ^arry them on well to the ' morning. Simulating food would then ' do wonders, more than warmed houses ' and all the artificial heating we hear about. In the summer time there is no : necessity, for the hours of daylight permit of three times feeding, say at six a. it., at two o'clock and at eight o'clock at night. We know very well : that many of the finest birds have been reared to their size in this way. This feeding has won many prizes and improved breeds, and, depend upon it, j: would increase the number of eggs laid by a very large number, and when the i system has been well adopted it will not be found to be very irksome. Farm and Garden Note*. I In an experiment at the Illinois Industrial university., corn cultivated six : times gave eight per cent, more crop ; than that under same conditions, but 1 cultivated only three times. Fowls will never touch food, if they can help it, which lies near any croppings or an unclean place. Special care should be taken, therefore, to cleanse the ground of all pens and runs daily. The smaller the runs the greater must be the cleanliness and the labor spent on it. A very well-known and justly honored [horticulturist, author of books find president of a state pomological society, confesses that, "after experimenting with all the complicated methods discovered," the pruning o? his grape 1 vines "is of the most primitive description ; merely cutting back all growth of the present year, to, say, three buds, and thinning ont superfluous shoots." ! As fertilizer for the crop he uses i crashed bones and well rotted barnyard ' manure. - ' i A cow with three rings on her horns : is six years old ; with four she is seven. No new rings are formed after the tenth year. The deeper rings, however, and 1 the worn appearance of the horns, are j pretty sure indications of old age. j Cows should have no more hay, says f the National Live Stock Journal, than } they have time to masticate, and if this ^ is not enongh for their necessities, they ( shonld havfi some easv diffestinc con cen crated food along with it. The quantity of hay given should never exceed what they will eat up clean, and twice a day is often enough to give time for properly ruriiiiating. It is the opinion of m'.ny that a fowl fattened quickly wiE mike a far more juicy and toothsome ir.eal than a chick. One thing is certfju, a three year-old fowl will mike ?. much better broth for an invalid thin a six month's chicken. Poor shelter, care and feed, will, in a few generations, Tnuke scrubs of the finest thoroughbret-^atock. Tnoroagh-bred scrubs are litGe be'ter than, native scrubs, and the farmer who raises either will always be poor. Breeding the best stock and keeping it in the best possible manner pays the largest profits. The best way all ^grapes, and especially with those not quite hardy, is to prune in the autumn as soon as practicable after the fall of the leaves. If ii .. . i i J n cue vines are pruned ana xrainea upon the renewal system it will be a very ?mall matter to lay them upon the ( ground and give a covering of two or ? three inches of earth upon the shortened j canes, which covering should be left on c antill all danger of severe freezing is a passed in the spring. 1 "When young poultry have, been f allowed to contract the habit of of roost- i ing in the trees no time should be lost i in breaking them of it. Confinement t to the poultry house and yard for a day j sr two will generally effect a cure. Get 1 ronr dust baths ready for winter; Sand ind finely-sifted coal ashes with a pound 3f sulphur to each bushel of the mix- g ;ure, is the best This should be put r in large boxes, and kept out of the rain. ] Whitewash the houses, putting in a gill j :>f crude carbolic acid and a pint of T sommou kerosene oil to each pailful of 2 slaked lime. t I Recipe*. t Baked Soup foe Invalids.?Take 'a I pound of jucy steak, from which, all the < fat has been removed ; cut it np into < pieces of about an inch sqnare, salt and i pepper it slightly; take a stone jar to t bold two pints; pour into it a pint and a t half of cold water ateaspoonful of whole I rice ; cover the saucer, and let it bake j 3lowly for four hours ; remove any fat i present. ? Apple Trifle.?Scald as many apples 1 is, when palped, will cover the dish you * iesign to use to the depth of two or J three inches. Before you place them in 1 the dish add to them the rind of half a * lemon, grated fine, and sugar to taste. 1 Mix half a pint of milk, half a pint of ? cream, and the yolk of an egg. Scald it over the fire, keeping it stirring, and io not let it boil Add a little sugar, i aid let it stand till cold; then lay it ( :>ver the apples and finish with the cream e whip. t Beef Ptodisg. ?'Cnt -np nice roast or * 3tewed beef into neat pieces; lay in a ^ buttered dish and pour over a few * spoonfuls of cold gravy. Let it soak * in while you prepare a batter of a pint * jf milk, three eggs, a cupful flour, a T tablespoonfnl melted butter, a little ^ >alt. I'our this over jour meat. Set in ^ i quick oven to cook through. Serve hot. | VA/l IAliii X UJJJLJJLJHU. n. uupiui j i cupful sweet milk, two and a half ;able spoonfuls melted butter, two cup- j. tuls flour, two 1 easpoonfuls cream tar- ^ ^ar, one teaspoonlul soda, a pinch of salt; put into a two-quart dish well s buttered ; bake three quarters of an lour in a moderate oven. Sauce: A jupfui sugar, one beaten egg, a half { jupful butter, a half cupful hot water, i little nutmeg ; put in a dish, set in a ? settle of hot water ; cook till it thickens ^ i little and serve. t Household Dint*. ? Stale bread, should be cut in slices, ? iried in the oven, crushed with a roll- r ing-pin, and put away in a jar. It t makes mach better crumbing for frying 1 oysters, croquettes, veal cutlets, or \ ihickening soup, than cracker dust. s Fish can be improved in flavor by t tubbing a little vinegar over the skin i :>r adding a half-cupful of vinegar to o the water it is boiled in. Fish-soup c [chowder) is the most economical of all ? :iishes; baked fish comes next, es- 1 [leciallv when stuffed. c Cologne water can be made at home. * ]?ake 60 drops oil of lavender, 60 drops * bergamot, 60 drops essence of lemon, * E0 drops orange water, 60 drops musk. 8 il> AM A A 4- aIaaU a1 C I Uu ILL t* piuo ux aivAjiiui* Mildew may be removed from linen * by mixing with soft-soap a little powc ered starch, half the quantity rf salt, and the juice of a lemon, and applying b to the mild;ew stain with a paint brush on both sides of the linen. The stained article should shen be left out on the grass day and night until the spot be removed. The followiDg is recommended as the best mode of cleaning gloves : Mix onefourth ounce carbonate of ammonia, one-fourth ounce fluid chloroform, one fourth ounce sulphuric ether, one quart distilled benzine. Pour out a small quantity in a saucer, put on the gloves, and wash_, as if washing the hands, changing solution until gloves are clean; lake off, squeeze them, replace on hands, and with a clean cloth rub fingers, etc., until they are dry and perfectly fitted to the hand. This cleaner is alsn an ATr?Allf?nt nlnthes. Tifobon and I silk cleaner; is perfectly harmless to 1 the most delicate tints. Apply 'with a \ soft sponge, rnbbing gently nntil spots disappear; care mnst be taken not to use it near fire, as the benzine is very Lnflammable. The following is a good recipe for removing grease spots from paper : Scrape finely some pipe clay on the sheet of paper which is to bo cleaned. Let it completely cover it, then lay a thin piece of paper over it, and pass a heated iion on it for a few seconds. Then take a perfectly clean piece of india rubber and nib off the pipe clay. In most casee one application will be found sufficient, bnt if it is not, repeat it. Good Hnmor. Surely nothing can be more tinrea 3onable than to lose the will to please' when we are conscious of the power, or show more cruelty than to choose any kind of influence before that of kind- ( oess and food humor. ? He that regards the welfare of others ? should make his virtue approachable, 1 that it may be loved and copied; and 2 he that considers the wants which every j man feels, or will feel, of external as- ' sistanco, must rather wish to be sur- 1 rounded by those that love him, than by tbose that admire his excellencies or solicit his favors, for admiration < ceases with novelty, and interest gains I its ends and retires. ] A man whose great qualities want the ] ornament of superficial attractions, is 1 like a naked mountain with mines of < gold, which will be frequented only tU). 1 the treasure is exhausted. i TIMELY TOPICS. Twenty-nine railroaus cf the United States, with a mileage of 2,617 miles and an apparent investment of $51,278,000 in capital stock and $76,645,000 in bonds and other indebtedness, were foreclosed the past year. An Indianapolis child became a smoker under two years of age, beginning with very mild cigarettes, which bis mother tanght him to nse in order to keep him quiet, and soon takiug to strong cigars with great enjoyment. Bnt it four he is in a hospital, undergoing treatment for spinal troubles brought du bv the effect of the tobacco on his serves. We are glad to learn from the Rochester Democrat that the face of the sun is gradually brightening np, and that the storms in the great orb which are thought to have had such an unhappy effect upon onr own globe are slo wly subsiding. With these sun spots removed 7ennor may be able to resume his veather prognostications with some slight possibility of verification. A Wisconsin farmer has been put ' inder bonds to keep the peace on acjount of his attempts to mutilate an )ld lady whom he believes to be a witch. 5e avers in defense that she has bewitched his cattle and has repeatedly mtered his domicile through the chirniey, the keyhole and other inconvenient and inappropriate apertures, sontrary to his wish and to his great >errur auu uiaureas. The late Orson Pratt was one of the original Mormon apostles, and none exjeeded him in zealous propagation of Mormon doctrines ; but he failed to ;onvince his own son of tbeir truth, md the latter gives the reasons as folows : " I am the son of my father's irst wife, and had a mother who taught ne the evil of the system. There are nany such persons in Utah, and the endency of their education being op)Osed to Mormonism, they grow up lostile to the institution." An extraordinary and melancholy example of the miscarriage of justice is eported from the English town of jeek. About a year a5o two farmers iving near tbat place were convicted lpon strong circumstantial evidence ind upon the positive identification of he prosecutor, of committing an out ageous assault upon him, and sentenced ;o ten years' penal servitude. The prosecutor has just died, leaving a full ;onfession that the injuries were infiiet;d by himself in the hope of extorting nonev from the accused persons and ;heir friends. In the meantime, one of ;he innocent convicts, who has a dependent wife and nine children, has ain in jail ill and near death through j mnrisnnmpnt; an/1 desnair. Tfc is a :ligbt consolation to learn that- the | nemorj of the heartless fiend whose ;onfession has been made pnblic, is leld in Ench ntter loathing by the comnunity in -which he lived that the utnost difficulty was experienced in liring men to carry his body to the p-ave, The irrigation of large tracts of land n some of the southern counties ot California has produced malarial disuses to such an alarming extent as op>esent a serious problem in conlection with the further settlement of hat region. Most of the lands in Fresno, Talare and Kern counties that lave been subjected to irrigation are of he class frequently termed desert lands; rithout irrigation they are utterly clueless for agricultural operations, iut with it their productivity is asonishing. Since the latter fact has >cen demonstrated there has begun a arge emigration into the counties tarued, and extensive irrigation works lave been constructed at heavy expense. Che possibility of chills and fever was tot thought of in connect' u with the UUUy cUll uuu ULJ uumaic omtil the malarial symptoms made their .ppearance. The progress of the ague or the last two years has been rapid and ;eneval, and as irrigation has comparaivel*" as yet merely begun, the future is lismal to contemplate. '.The inhabitants ?f the Brazos bottom are no worse off han those of the irrigated lands of 3a]-'omia are likely to be. There is no ixemption from the attacks, it being a lotable fact that the Chinese, who are o a considerable extent employed as aborers, do not enjoy the immunity phich attaches to the negroes in the wamps of the Sonth. Various stiggesions of remedies have beer nade, one dea being that if a system c thorough [rainage should be combined with that >f irrigation, it would mitigate the evil, iome benefit seems to be derived from laving rooms used as dormitories at a :onsiderable elevation from the ground, .nd hnts raised on long poles have been ried, while one wealthy vine-grower las built a three-story dwelling. Others eek immunity by living in villages at a listance from their farms and the irrigating ditches; and perhaps this pracice will become universal. Killing Snakes TTitli Dynamite. The following is an extract from a etter which appeared in the Little Sock (Ark.) Democrat: "After a long search we found what is known as the Old Jackson Copper Mines,' situated on ;he rolling fork of Little river, Sevier :ounty. -We commenced cleaning out in old shaft, and when about four feet 3eep a large rock was removed by Mr. rhompson, and before it could be raised ;o the top, the head of a monster rattlesnake peered from the opening made by ;he removal of the rock, and before this shake was killed we found them brea?ug in upon us from other portions of ;he wall, and from their hissing and ratling and onward march upon us, retreat vas our only safety. With rocks, shotgun md revolver we battled with the enemy, managing to keep them all between the shaft, but with all we could do it was Impossible to destroy them, and a half pound stick of dynamite was charged md thrown m their midst, and wnen tne smoke cleared away victory was ours, md all that were not entirely i estroyed retreated, as the tails of several were seen protruding from the wall. " Words cannot describe the picture presented, and the opinion of all was :hat at least fifty of these hnge reptiles lad been killed, but when counted wily eighteen rattle and one black make, with the remains of a half dozen nore shattered and scattered by the ;iplosion, was the result of our nardjarned victory. The snakes were the argest of this species I have ever seen ?the smallest one measuring four feet seven and a half inches and the longest me inch less than seven feet. The least lumber of rattles was twelve and the greatest twenty-three, aid the weight )f the largest rattlesnake was twentyiix pounds and four ounces. The black make was perfectly immense, but we vere unable to get the exact length, as - ' ? i j _ /*? . _ 3 i : portion 01 ms Doay was torn on ana brown heavenward bj the dynamite, >nt eight feet of this monster still renamed with his strange associates." Professor Edward D.Cope, the Philalelphia geologist and palaeontologist, ;hmks he has discovered a "missing Link." In the tertiary formation of the Big Horn valley, Wyoming, he dugout the skull of a species of monkey which exhibits human characteristic in miniature, and is vaatly superior to the monkey skulls of the present day. LIFE AMOXG THE SIOUX. The Romantic Career of a White Captive. Sabastian Beck is a name which no novelist would select for the hero, but a man bearing it is now in Chicago, is heroic enough to be the skeleton of a most entertaining frontier romance. Mr. BeGk is fifty-seven year3 of age, sunbrowned and considerably shattered in health, but he is intelligent, and his story is vouched for in several letters 7_ _ ? ?%n/MTTr? QVWV ne carries irum w?i jb..uv*t.u. , officers, who have had means of determining its truth. From 1867 to 1870 the subject of this article was a soldier in the regular army, and when mustered cmt was a private in Company E. of the Ninth Infantry?the regiment now stationed at Fort Omaha. Retiring from the service, he settled in Chicago, where he worked at his trade, being a shoemaker. Business was good, and, himself and three other workmen had all they could attend to ; but his years of army life, during which his regiment had been frequently transferred from one fort to another on the frontier, had rendered him uufit for the unexciting life of a cobbler, and in 1875 he sold his business,determining to seek a fortune in the .West. The gold discoveries in the Black Hills about this time hooon f.n PTrtitA nnblic interest. and Mr. Beck was among the nnmber who caught the mining fever. He packed up his household goods, and with his wife, two daughters and a son of 12 years, be left Chicago March, 10, 1875, and landed in dne time at Cheyenne. Here he joined the company of General Carpenter of Sedalia, Mo., who led twenty-five families into the hills. They had wagons, camping outfit and provisions for six months. Just about this time the President issued his order to the army, commanding the arrest of all persons who should attempt to cross the line into the Sioux reservation, which included what is now the prosperous Black Hills gold mining region. However, this party was not detected by the troops, and they reached Deadwood Gulch in safety, and part of them went to'work developing the St. John Mine. Beck was of this number, and he erected a log cabin abont threequarters of a mile from the diggings, whicb himself and family called their home. All went well with the daring miners until July 18, when they were surrounded by Sitting Bull's band of Sioux and were made prisoners. Beck was separated from his family, and has never st en or heard of them since. He was taken with several men of the company to the Indian village of Rosebud, then consisting of four hundred lodges, and expected to be the victim of an extra scalp dance. The Indians, however, offered the white men their choice between death and becoming members of the tribe. Death is not often the choice of the Caucasian, and Beck formed no exception. He doffed his mining garb and assumed the blanket, paint and feathers of a Sioux brave. He was given a young Cheyenne squaw, about eighteen years of age for his wife, and soon became to all appearances a thoroughgoing Indian. Moneka was the name of his dusky sweetheart and bride. "Moneka," in the Sioux tongue is translated "my '' love." She had been made captive by this band when but eleven years of age, ' ^ * 1 - - T J A _ ana ?5ecK oecame srrongiy anacueu tu i her. He soon learned the language j of the Sions, and adopted himself to his surroundings. Five weeks after his capture he was an tm willing participant: in the massacre cn the Little Big Horn. He followed the fates of his captors through all the weary months which followed while the war continued, and at last with them crossed the boundary into the British possessions. His story of the bufferings of the red braves and their wretched families in that wintry clime are enough to excite the hearer's compassion. Their clothing worn out, their game supply seant, and the deep snow and severe cold were bravely borne, and they struggled along, keeping soul and body together as long as their pride could endure, but finally were forced to surrender. Beck and the cantives returned to civilization ?- ? witli their red comrades at Standing Rock agency, bnt so bronzed vy exposure that they conld with difficulty establish their identity as white men. Mr. Beck says he could have escaped almost any time since they crossed the border, but his attachment to the gentle Moneka had grown upun him and been cemented by the birth of two papooses, and he conld not consent to leave them in exile. After the surrender he joined a wagon train en route to Fort Laramie, and, with Indian wife and babies, went to that post, where he left them and started east to Chicago. He is now striving to find his white wife and children, or learn their fate. The Pjramids of E^ypt. The pyramids have three groups, and j are about sixty in number. They are j all within a circuit of twenty mile3. I j heard Professor Proctor declare tha' they were astronomical observatories; or stony telescopes. This has just this much truth, viz , that the opening is on the north side, and out of the dark tunnel in daytime the polar star can be seen. Ofhers regard the large pyramid as a standard of measurement; that the angles of its passages indicate latitude, based on the circumference of the earth, I and the seasons and time. This is absolute nonsense. The angles were made for rest for those who buried the king i -3 ana queen, ana wnu vibawsu. mem oa.ici buiial. The truth is that the pyramids are tombs, aud nothing more. There were two places for ventilation They are now closed. After seeing these six pyramids in a group, and the other three groups in sight, you become as silent and thoughtful as the Sphinx seems to be. The immensity of the larger ones would not seem so great if they were Alps or Atlas or Lebanon mountains?God's handiwork. The largest one, the one we entered, is only 780 feet high and 764 feet square. It employed 100,000 men ten years to make the causeway to transport the material for building, and to build it 360,000 men twenty years 1 It does not, however, compare with "Nord Cap," even, nor with the Cathedral Dome in the Yosemite. But the pyramids are man's work. God works geometrically in the petals of the flower, in the laminated foldings of the pearl, in the strata of the mountains, and in the evolution of the constellations ; but ner2, tins simpie Dig square or inangie, set on its larger end, now rongh with rugged stones, though once glossy and smoothed bj the same manual dexterity which lifted them in their geometric order because man made it, becomes sublime by its work and its permanency. No demi-gods, no giants piled up these honors to dead royalty; but the ambition to be remembered made the kings of Egypt confiscate and press the labor of hundreds of thousands of slaves for a score or more of years, and ail thi-t their mummies might be handed down for transportation among subsequent nations.?Congressinan S. S. Cox. a retired nnoae isiana sea capiam, who boasts that he has made over 170 voyages to the "West Indies, besides other sea navigation, and never had a keel touch bottom and never collected a cent of insurance, says that he takes little stock in the alleged changes in currents which form the exc use for so many mishaps, and believes that more \ratchful oare vould prevent a Urge o! t&era. RELIGIOUS READLVS. Education. I have long since Gonclnded that it is the will of God that there should not be an ignoramus on the earth. I believe that it is the will of God that the whole human family should be liberally educated ; and in order to bring about what we might properly be called a liberal education it is only necessary to observe one commandment in the decalogue, namely, "Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy." If you have lived to be twenty-one years of age you have had three whole years of Sabbaths ; if you have lived to be fifty years old you have had six vears of Sabbaths, in which to cultivate your n obler faculties. When the religion of Christ shall become the religion cf the world, when all mankind shall "remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy," I believe there will not be a fool nor knave on the face of the earth. It is the will of G?;d that our intellectual faculties and "our moral faculties should be highly developed, and that they should control our actions. Nor does this interfere with the duty of labor. Work i3 honorable; work with the hards is as honorable as work with the mind; and when all men remember the Sabbath and carry out the principles of the Christian religion, something far in advance of these glowing pictures drawn by the false reformers n? mn/lom fimoa Trill nhtftitied. and will be the property and inheritance of the whole world.?#. 0. Haven. Relizions News und Notes* Three Congregational churches have been dedicated in Denver, Colorado, within six months without debt. Of the 6,229,000 Baptists in the United States, 1,698,000 are in the South, of whom 740,000 are colored. Five thousand Pagans are reported as converted during the last executive year through the missions in Siberia of the Russian Holy Synod. There are in the Canadian Provinces 91 Congregational churches, with 51 pastors and 5,635 members. Their church property is valued at $500,000. As to the fruits of the meetings of Messrs. Moodv and Sankev in New castle, England, an observer speaks of 1,000 being on the "anxious seat" at one time. It was reported at the recent Evangelical Alliance Conference that King John of Abyssinia had agreed to allow the circulation of the Bible in his kingdom, bnt was averse to Protestant missionaries settling there. Dr. John EalJ, of New York, is reported to have recently given the difference between the religions aspect of England and this country thns: "In Eo gland the people are divided into Churchmen and Dissenters, but in America they are divided into Churchmen and Absenters." A report made to a Lutheran synod by a committee appointed to examine the facts, says: " More than four-fifths of the young men of America are not under the immediate influence of the church, and more than half are not under the direct influence of Christian or even moral homes." The American Sunday-School Union gives the following statistics in regard to its work of 57 years: 69,846 schools organize-i, containing 447,380 teachers and 2,969 037 scholars; 109,402 cases of aid to schools, having 6,720,000 members ; value of publications distributed by sales and donations, $7,000,000. ' There aire-'irow-'at?out~ 40Protestant Episcopal parishes in Massachusetts *,vhere the sittings are entirely free? some free partly through endowments, some through gifts, but many absolutely free and carried on in entire depend ence upon what the people contribute from Sunday to Sunday at the services. The English Church Missionary Society reports that on the Niger tribe after tribe are ready to receive teachers. On the delta of the Niger the people by hundreds are throwing away their idols, and the churches are thronged every Lord's Day, while the famous old temple at Bonny's, studded with human skulls, is going to ruin. The Methodist Freedman's Air Society reports receipts for the year oI $96,141, and an expenditure of the same amount There is a debt of $17,138. The society has collected since its organization $990,059. The number of students in all its schools the past year was 3,138. It has six chartered, eleven ncchartered, one medical, and three theological institntions. WORDS OF WISDOM. m 4 Yonth locks at the possible, age at. the probable. Hope is the only good which is common to all men. Snccess makes ns soon forget the fight we made to attain itPoverty wants some, luxury many, and avarice all things. It's easy finding reasons why other people should be patient. Beautiful are the admonitions of him tfTioop life with his teachings. Tho.-e who are disposed to be uneasy will never want something to be uneasy about. Sorrows are onr best educators. A man may see farther through a tear than a telescope. Sincerity is the boat in which is embarked as motley a crew as Charon ever ferried across the river Styx, Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy. Selfcommand is the main elegance. Language is a revealer of character, and that which a man would conceal by bis acts and manner he cannot hide in his words. Let us have done with reproaching; for we may throw out so many reproachful words on one another that a ship of a hundred oars would not be able to carry the load. Sorrow is a kind of rust of the soul which every new idea contributes in its passage to scour away. It is the putrefaction of stagnant life, and is remedied by exercise and motion. Humility is a virtue all preach, few A**/} TT ^ J /?/VTl TAiri f. pittCCiUCj a 111-1 YOU CYOiJf 1/V/ViJ AO WMUVU u to hear. The master thinks it good doctrine for his servant, the laity for the clergy, the clergy for the laity. The best rules to form a man's character are to talk little, to hear much, to reflect alone upon what has passed in company, to distrust one's own opinion, and value others that deserve it. It is easy to live in this world's opinion ; it is easy in solitude to live after your own ; but the great man is he who, in the midst of the crowd, keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. If you stick your finger into the water i?nd take it out, it is in vain to look for the hole; and equally so is it to suppose, whatever space you occupy, that the world will miss you when you die. Conclusive evidence: Mr. Slobson walked into the police office on Satur day and complained to the officer in charge that the star ronfce thieves had broken into his house and robbed him. "How do yon know they were star route thieves?" inquired the officer. "Because,"replied tbe old man, " they stole everything I had; didn't leave me one single thing." There was no getting around that kind of logici? R*ch?s* W Xnprtts, uabj's Dying. '-Sf'-i? Baby's dying, j ; Do not stir? Let her spirit lightly float Through the sighing Lips of her? Still the murmur in her throat; Let the moan of grief be curbed? Baby must not be disturbed! ijaoyauymg, Do not stirLet her pure life lightly swim Through the sighing Lips of her? Out from us and up to Him? Let her leave us with that smileKiss and miss her after while. ?J. W. Riley. HUMOROUS. The weather is a proud, old thing? how often we hear of the weather-vane. Gets matters down to a fine point? The clerk of the police court?Boston Bulletin* There are no ptunps where the cooo*> nut grows, which perhaps accounts for the milk init, "No I shall leave my wife nothing," said old Gribbs; "she's always had her will, and Til have mine." She told him that she could read his mind like an open book, and then soft- / ly added, "blank book."?The Judge. "I feel for you deeply," said the hungry man, probing about in %is soap bowl for a stray oyster. ?Bradford Star. Tyndall's theory is that heat is simply motion. The man who sat down cn a hot stove agrees with him.?Lowell Citizen. An exchange says the Nihilists threa en to put Alexander IIL "in a hole." Wouldn't that be czar-chasm ??Norristown Herald. The careless man and the thief are equally troublesome. Neither of them ever leaves anything where he finds it. Courier-Journal. The Indiana secretary of state re > ceived an application from a justice A . v the peace who wanted an appointmc nt as "noter public." A while ago a party of lynchers out West postponed the hanging five minutes to allow the victim time to finish smoking a cigar. This proves that the use of tobacco prolongs life. A man employed as a porter in a Texas hotel lifted a piano not long ago? and carried it up one flight. He got hold of it in the darkness by mistake, thinking he was carrying the trunk of a Boston drummer.?Boston Post. The best sermon In tne world never yet reconciled the proud man, trying to curl his feet np and ont of sight tinder the pew, to the painfully obstrusiveand evident fact lhat the wife of his bosom had used his blacking brush to polish he kitchen stove.?Hawkeys. New Yorkers meditate a new line of steamers which are to make the trip io Europe in six days. This is pretty quick ocean traveling; but until a line is started that will beat a cable dispatch America's defanlting cashiers will not feel safe.?Norristovcn Herald. i It is the night that a man is engaged j to take his girl to the theater that it is sure to rain ; but it is the cloudy day when he leaves home with his umbrella i that it is sure to shine hard enough to make ice cream blossoms and cause the mayor to issue a dog-muzzling bulL? Puck. ' Entertaining dialogue between a Danbury man and a New Gaven man, at the Bridgeport railway station: New Haven Man?Any shooting up your way? uanbury man?Lots of it Slew Haven Man (eagerly)?What ao they shoot ? Danbury Man (looking up at the clock)? Guns, mostly. "You must not smoke in this car," said an Austin avenue car driver to Gilhooly, who was the only occupant of 1 tho car. "Why can't i smoke?" I am the only person in the car." " It don't make any difference. Even when there is nobody in the car, smoking is not allowed."?Texas Siftings. A man in Paris advertised for a domestic who was neat. There came to" | him a man with blue spectacles. "Your eyesight is bad," suggested the gentleI man. "No," replied the applicant, "not at all; but I clean silverware till it j shines so brightly that I am obliged to , wear glasses to protect my eyes." Hymeneal?A tall servant A very emphatic personage?G. Whittaker! A site for a gas bouse?Anthracite. Law- _ *vears in Massachusetts carry green bags jgshow that tuey belong to the "Old " x troolr 1v li?fc of business ^ mvw< u nw?J - v. ? embarrassments might with propriety be called " Review of the Week." " I know," said the little girl*to her elder sister's young man at the supper table, "thatyou will join our society for the protection of little birds, because mamma says you are so fond of larks." Then there was a silence, and the Limberger cheese might have been heard scrambling around in its tin box on the cupboard shelf. . Zoologist.?How do we account for sudden impulses to commit crime? Well, we accounted for our sudden im pulse to murder oar neighbor's boy on the ground that he put a string across the street to trip us up. Don't think, though, that he succeeded. We merely felt the string with our foot, and got down on the ground~i<rsee what it was. ?Boston Post. An instance of professional friendship " ' ->. is thus recorded in Figaro: "Two dramatic authors are present at the first night of an opera written by a mutual friend. A passage received an encore. 'An encore for those lines 1' exclaimed one of the rival dramatists; 'I do not see why!' 'It is not,' said the other, 'because they are good. They are called for again to see if they can be understood.' v * Jf Cornstalks as FueL An Iowa farmer, wno nas octn coai and wood on his farm, warms his house with cornstalks, and claims that they make the best and cheapest fuel he can get. He nses a large stove, and burn*. the stalks in tightly-bound bundles, weighing about forty pounds each. A bundle burns three hours (without flame) in an air-tight stove. The large stove offers so much radiating surface that it does not need to be very hot. Five bundles a day, or 6 '0 for the winter, suffice to keep the stove going and the room warm. The farmer, Mr. Baggies, says: " I can bind up six hundred bundles of corn stalks in two days alone. I couldn't chop the wood to warm this room in a week. Then in the spring I have a load of strong ashes for my wheat field, while my neighbors have to cut up the same cornstalks in the spring to get them away from the harrow. It makes me smile when I bear about these idiots up in Minnesota who have fifty-acre cornfields, and still , ?| go cold or buy coaL Why, Td rather burn cornstalks than cut maple wood itiiin sight of the house." Eagles, some of them of very large size, are unusually numerous along the %jj Juniata river ; and the Narrows, on the same river, near Lewisfcon, are full of wild turkeys. Jl THe dentist snoiuu. 00 ? gwu mmI man. He is used to pulling in singly . ,