The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1901-1982, July 16, 1902, PAGES 3 TO 6., Image 3
SOUTMRN I
Topics of Interest t(
man and Tr
The South and Live Stock.
W. C. Swope, of Courtland, Ala.,
lives just forty miles below the quar
antine lines. He believes that a great
future is before the South as a live
stock country, but he shares opposite
views of many cattlemen who consider
the danger of Southern fever as a great
handicap. Speaking on this point he
says:
"If the cattle are handled rightly.
the danger can be reduced to a mini
mum, but the moment the breeder of
the exposition management gets a little
careless his herd is gone. I have had
only one .death among my Northern
cattle in thi past two years, and now
see that I could easily have avoided
that. The case was that of one of my
young bulls, which I served to a grade
cow. She was ticky, which did not
of itself mean that the bull would
catch the fever, but I carelessly de
ferred spraying the animal with disin
fectants until too late.
"There is a general impression among
Northern cattlemen that the best thing
to do with their cattle when the stock
Is shipped below the quarantine line or
otherwise exposed to Southern fever, is
to inoculate them. For my own part
I am not in favor of inoculation. It
may be effective in the long run, but a
cow or bull that has been inoculated
remains in a poor, half-sick condition
for four or five months after inocula
tion. Thus the breeder loses so much
valuable time.
"The way I handle my cattle Is to
spray them with disinfectants, and I
bave always found this works admir
ably, especially so when I keep my
breeding stock in fenced pastures and
do not allow It to mingle with the wild
native cattle. I have constructed a
corral or series of chutes into which I
can drive the pure breds from time to
time and give them a good spraying.
Such a course of procedure, combined
with common sense management ren
ders Herefords as safe in the South as
in the North.
"The crying need of my State as well
as the whole South is better cattle.
The people have at last come to reali
sation of this. I think, and the future
will see rapid strides made ii the im
proved quality of our range and feed
lot stock. The ever present Jersey is
a too common ciass of cattle down my
way. *We have a few Durhams, bul
mot enough to begin to fill the needs
of the country. It is a good territory
for the Northern breeders to work up,
and I think they will find it as satisfac
tory an investment as their 'deals in
the Southwest..
"Two years ago I. bought five helfers
and one bull from Missouri breeders,
giving over $2000 for the animals. With
the single exception mentioned above
they have done remarkably well. I
have crossed my bull with native
grade Durhams, and this spring ex
pect fifty calves, which I will raise
and fatten for the markets.
"Alabama offers plenty of induce
ments to cattlemen. We have no hard
winters, and never worry whether
there is a bounteous corn crop or not
realizing that the cattle will carry ovei
just as well on hay. My heifers wil:
average well with any of .the stock of
fered in the ordinary present sale, ye'
their only feed all winter has beer
fifteen pounds of hay each day.
"We have the land and the where
withal to handle Herefords and othe3
fine cattle; all that is needed is a little
prodding of our stockmen and my State
will soon take a much higher rank ii
the blooded stock raising business."
~" sheep Made Big Cotton.
A correspondent of Farm and Ranet
says: "One of the most difficult prob
lems with which Southern farmers
have had to wrestle is that of proper
fertilizing for cotton. On black lands
with alternate plots fertilized and un.
fertilized, the unfertilized have usually
given the best results. On sandI
loams heavy applications of nitroge
nous manures have given too muel
*weed' without a corresponding yield
of lint and seed, and yet on our rivet
bottom lands, rich in humus, the cot
ton plant frequently grows eight tc
june feet high, and yields from 750 tc
1000 pounds of lint cotton per acre
Here we have a heavy yield with enor.
mous weed, proving that heavy yield
and great growth of 'weed' are not in
compatible, but under pktoper condi
tions of soil and good cultivation the
'weedy' growth is necessary to a large
yield cf cotton. The writer had sever
acres cf sandy loam that had been i
sheep pen, or series of penal Foi
twelve years this ground was planted
alternately with cotton and corn. The
first year the cotton was left eighteer
inches apart in four-foot rows. The re
suit was an impenetrable thicket and
not 500 pounds of seed cotton on th<
seven acres. Afterward it was planted
In six-foot rows and thinned to fout
feet, and the average yield of five years
(ccvering a period of twelve years) was
515 pounds of lint, and not a pound of
additional fertilizer was used. Th<
same land also averaged forty-twc
bushels of corn for the six alternatt
years. There Is something more ir
this matter of fertilization for cottor
than the character and quantity of
txe fertilizer, in one respect cottor
differs from most staple crops, becaus,
the more fertile the soil, the greatei
distance the plants must have. It is
the reverse in the case of corn.
Experiment With Upland ice.
In 19C0 I planted one pound on land
that would have made fifteen bushels
of corn per acre, writes W. D. Osbort
of Logpnt Alan in snme and F'arm.
EAR.M NOTES.
the Planter, Stock
uck Grower.
and I harvested fivc and one-half bush
els of clean, rough rice; shipped 115
pounds to a rice mill and had it cleaned
and received back seventy pounds of
clean rice, pronounced by one of our
merchants in Alexander City, Ala., to
be as good as any that they sold.
There were two grades-cracked and
uncracked. I am satisfied that I made
at the rate of sixty or seventy bushels
per acre. I also had some of the rough
rice ground on a grist mill and fed to
my cow. I find it as good as corn
meal. I notice in a bulletin from the
South Carolina Experiment Station on
the feeding of rice meal to hogs they
find that rice meal is as good as corn
meal or better. It is easily grown.
Plant after danger of frost In drills
like sorghum, two or three foot rows,
and cultivate two or three times and
you are sure of a good crop. , All stock
love it. Cut in the dough state it
makes an excellent hay. Last year I
planted a small patch and harvested
several bushels, but I didn't considei
it a good yield. It grows from three
to five feet high, and when It began to
head the heads would curl up like they
had been cut off. Has any other read
er had a similar experience? I would
like to bear from them as to what was
the matter and the remedy.
Brother farmers, wake up and plani
two or three acres of that land you in
tend to plant in cotton in upland rice
and fill your barn with some of the
best feedstuff that you have ever fed.
I filled my barn last fall with rice hay,
millet and peavine hay, as fine as evel
grew, and have fed my mules and cow.
nothing much but this hay this winter,
and have plenty to carry me througlh
I also make as much corn and cottor
as any other man to the mule. Plent3
of hay and corn and cattle to consumE
it is the secret of success in farming.
Dairy Cow Rations in the South.
The following rations made up of
our common feeding stuffs are sug
gested by one of the stations as being
suitable for dairy cows in the South:
No. 1-Cottonseed hulls 20 pounds
cornmeal 8 pounds and cottonseed mea
5 pounds.
No. 2-Crab grass hay 10 pounds
cowpea hay 10 pounds and corn and
cob meal 10 pounds.
No. 3-Corn ensilage 30 pounds, brat
6 pounds, cottonseed meal 3 pounds and
cottonseed hulls 12 pounds.
No. 4-Crab grass hay 20 pounds
corn stover 12 pounds, cornmeal i
pounds and cottonseed meal 3 pounds
No. 5-Corn stover 18 pounds, wheal
brati 4 pounds, eettonseed meal4
pound, and cornmeal 6 pounds.
No. 6--Sweet potatoes 25 pounds
corn stover 10 pounds, cottonseed mea
4 pounds and cornmeal 8 pounds.
No. 7-Corn shucks 12'pounds, cow
pea hay 10 pounds, cornmeal 4 poundi
and cottonseed meal 3 pounds.
No. 8-Vetch hay 14 pounds, cotton
seed hulls 10 pounds and cornmeal(
pounds.
No. 0-Cowpea hay 15 pounds
shredded cornstalks 10 pounds, cotton
seed meal 2 pounds and cornmeal"
pounds.
No. 10-Corn shucks 25 pounds, cot
tonseed meal 5 pounds and wheat brai
3 pounds.
No. 11-Cottonseed hulls '20 pounds
cottonseed meal 4 pounds and when
bran 5 pounds.
Cantaloupe Blight.
The cantaloupe blight Is increasing it
some sections. As, it is carried in thi
seed no doubt other sections will soow
make its acquaintance, and it is wel
to be on the lookout for its first ap
pearance.
The cantaloupe blight is caused by
.true parasite fungus. It first appear:
as a number of small brown spot:
upon the leaves in the centre of thi
hill. If the younger leaves are exam
ined it will be seen that the fungus if
at work some time before the browi
spots make their appearance. It wil
be noticed that th~e leaf tissue is beini
eaten away where the fungusm is a
work, and It is the decomposition o:
dying of this tishue that causes thesa
brown spots. The spots grow large:
as the fungus spreads, until the leave:
affected have the appearance of bei
frostbitten.
At the first appearance of the dis
ease spray with -bordeaux mixtur'
made in the following manner: Dis
solve six pounds of bluestone; slak<
four pounds of fresh lime; when thi
lime has cooled, strain off the lime
water and add it to the bluestone so
lution; add water enough to make
forty gallons.
IAs the vines grow rapidly at thi
time of spraying it will be necessar3
to repeat often In order to cover th<
new growths. Almost all spraying
mixtures should be stirred while beinl
used to prevent precipitation.
Best Varieties of Onlons.
Onions are not grown in the Souti
to anything like the extent they are Ix
the North and West, but some of ou:
growers are growing them very suc
cessffully. The varieties best adaptei
to the South are the Bermudas, Extri
Early White Pearl, and the potato on
ions. although the standard varieties
of other sorts also succeed and d(
very well.
Cow Peas In the Cotton Crop.
Keep the cotton and tobacco crops
growing by frequent cultivation, anm
sow cow peas in the cotton crop-whex
cultivating the last time. In this wa3
I the land can be improved and some
jfed can be mnade-Southetai Planter.
POST MORTEM PROOFREADING.
Always Easy to See Errors After They Are
Irremediable.
When I was reading proof on the old
National Republicai. says a writer in
the Washington Trade Unionist, I nad
a post mortem assistant located in
New York, but I never knew who he
was. He took the paper and read
proof carefully on it for several days,
forwarding the result to the business
ofEce.
After he had sent several papers
containing the results of his labors he
put in an application for the job, but
he didn't get it. His ignorance of local
geography and affairs caused him to
make some very amusing corrections,
but I'm not denying that he found
quite a number of legitihate errors, as
and one can ,in any daily newspaper.
Of course, I was prejudiced in the
matter, and my judgment was not as
cool and impartial as would have been
that of an unInterested party, but I
thought that was a pretty mean way
to try to get a fellow's situation away
from him. I have known that method
of procedure to be attempted several
times, but I have never known it to
succeed.
It is always easy to see errors after
they are irremediable, but it takes the
eye of an eagle, the watchfulness of a
ferret and the alertness of a pointer to
run them to earth while they are legiti
mate prey.
I remember the remarks of my old
boss, when I was running the inking
machine on the lightning hand press,
with which he rushed off the edition of
248 copies, during the first year of my
apprenticeship.
If he stopped for a few minutes to
jolly a visitor or to hunt around his
bench for a quid of tobacco that was
being worked overtime, my eyes were
going over the paper, and generally I
had an error to show him. He would
unlock the form and correct 1t, giving
me baleful looks in which the malevo
lence was at least an Inch thick.
Finally, one day he burst out:
"You dodgasted brat, if you ever find
another error in this paper after I have
locked it up I'll fire you on the spot!"
That cured me of post mortem proof.
reading, and I have stayed cured.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
To be light-hearted is often to be
simply light-headed.
There are criminals that can be clas
sified, but there are no criminal classes.
Sincerity often consists in frankness
in stating opinions which are not worth
stating.
Life is a succession of choices. One
cannot often have this and that, but
this or that.
If we cannot make ourselves. happy
we can make others happy, and they In
turn can create happiness for us.
Hae that cannot forgive others preaks
the bridge over which he himself must
pass, for every man has need to be for
given.
.Our duty to God Is cheerfully ac
knowledged, but toward our n4ighbor
we rarely realize we have any ypecial
obligation.
It is so easy and pleasant to discover
sins lurking in the pursuits for which
you are not inclined. Many of us pos
sess wonderful powers of perception
in that direction.
,A flatteier is said to be a beast that
biteth smiling. But it is hard to know
them from friends, they are so obse
quious and full of protestations, for as
a wolf resembles a dog so doth a flat
terer a friend.
It has been said that bright thoughts
do not occur to ignorant people,
neither can thqy, for there is nothing
within to suggest them. The .daily,
ordinary level determines the height to
which we can rise on rare occasio;j3.
When we see leaves drop from their
trees in the beginning of autumn, such,
we think, is the friendship of the
world. While the sap of maintenance
lsts, friends swarm in abundance, 15ut
in the winter of need they leave us
naked. He is a happy man that hath
a true friend at his need, but he is
more truly happy that hath no need of
hi friends.
I Wilhelmia's Wealth.
The Queen of Holland is among the
richest of royal personages. Part eI
her enormous fortune belongs to the
crown, while the rest .Is her private
property. The royal estates in Holland
and the East (which include the Dutch
East Indies) are also of great value.
On her marriage with Prince Henry
the young Queen set aside twenty mil
lions of marks, the arrangement being
that the Interest, whie~h is nearly
30,000 a year, will be at his own
disposal, while the capital Is ultimately
to pass to the youngest children of the
marriage. If there are no children,
Prince Henry Is to have absolute
power of disposing by will of five
millions of marks, while the remainder
will eventually revert to the Queen's
estate.-Tit-Bits.
Costly Baskets of Fruit.
There Is a wide range in the price
for which the fruiter will put up a
"steamship basket." He can easily
make it cost $40 or $50. Strangely
enough the fruits which go to make
up the most expensive baskets are not
the Imported, but the domestic varie
Ities out of season. Peaches at $1
each and plums at fifty cents in the
middle of winter are more expensive
than almost any of the tropical varie
ties brought from the Indies by steam
er. Most of the hothouse fruit for the
local market is raised in New Jer-sey.
-New York Post.
Any one attending a spiritual~stic
seance in Bohemia is liable to a fine
of $40, a decree to that effect having
been issued by the Goverrxnntf &1i
DlSBRODWHLD FOR MUDER
His Lawyer Declined to Call Wit
nesses in His Defense.
COURT'S DECISION APPLAUDED
The Prisoner Lobt His Self-Control When
the District Attorney Declared That
He Lied-Justice Foster Said Ihat All
the Evidence Pointed In One Direction'
-Statement 'of Disbrow's Counsel.
Good Ground, L. I.-Louis Disbrow
went back to the Riverhead Jail a pris
oner, committed for. the action of the
next Grand Jury on the charge of mur
der in the case of Clarence Foster and
Sarah h. Lawrence. The hearing came
to a sudden ending. Mr. Miles, coun
sel for the young man, put in no de
fense, saying that he would wait until
the trial of the case to do so, as he
felt sure that no matter what evidence
he adduced, his client would be held.
It is exactly a month ago since Dis
brow, Foster and "Dimple' Lawrence
started on the drive from Corwin's
house that ended in two of the party
meeting death in the waters of Tiana
Bay.
Disbrow took his commitment coolly.
Only once did he show any emotion or
excitement. That was when District
Attorney Smith closed his summing up
by shouting at Disbrow: "You lied,
you know you lied!" Disbrow gripped
the arms of his chair and began to rise,
startled more than anything else. Sher
iff Wells and Mr. Miles placed their
hands on Disbrow and he sat back in
his chair.
Justice Foster reviewed the case very
fully before announcing the commit
ment. When the decision was an
nounced the crowd in the hall burst
into cheers, and there was much hand
clapping. Deputy Sheriffs tried to stop
the demonstration, but it was con
tinued for several minutes.
After the hall was cleared, Mr. Miles
said:
"'What I expected would happen has
happened.I Disbrow has been held. It
would have been very foolish for me
to lay bare my case at this time when
It was practically certain that my cli
ent would have to face a trial jury.
At that time we shall not only overturn
all the evidence to be brought In by.the
people, but will make the case against
the young man look even more foolish
than it does now. We shall show that
Disbrow was wholly guiltless of any
crime whatsoever. I am not at liberty
to tell what further action I shall take.
I cannot say yet whether I shall seek
Disbrow's release through a writ of
habeas corpus. That is a matter to
be decided later."
The attendance was larger than on
any day since the first. Mr. Smith
rested his case when several witnesses
for the prosecution had been examined.
After a controversy about the admis
sion of the record of the. proceedings
before the Coroner, which had been
filed with Justice Foster, Attorney
Miles moved for the dismissal of 'the
prisoner from custody, on the ground
that no evidence had been brought in
to connect him with the crime, if any
crime had been committed.
Mr. Smith declared that he had
traced the three to the water's edge.
He wanted to know why Dlsbrow did
not, go on the stand and tell his story.
The District Attorney dared him to do
so. Taking up the statements made by
Disbrow to different persons on the day
of the tragedy, Mr. Smith, shaking his
fist close to Disbrow, shouted that Dis
brow lied and he knew he lied.
The Justice said that the evidence
pointed in one direction. While, per
haps, he said, the evidence was not of
the strongest character, there was no
doubt that there had been some
crooked work somewhere, and there re
mained much to be explained that
should be explained and should be
submitted to the Grand Jury. There
fore he committed the prisoner.
After the formal papers had been
drawn Sheritf Wells took Disbrow
back to the fail in Riverhead, to re
main until the fall term of court.
MORGAN'S OFFER CONFIRMED.
Admiralty Can Control British Ships in
Combine For Fifty Years.
In the House of Commons the Par
liamentary Secretary to the Admiralty,
H. C. Arnold-Forster, replying to Will
iam Redmond, the Irish leader, con
firmed the report that J. Pierpont Mor
gan had offered to place all the British
ships In the new combine at the dis
posal of the Admiralty for the next
fifty years, on certain terms.
He added that the offer could only be
dealt with In relation to British ship
ping generally and the Atlantic trade
position, which was being very care
fully considered by the Government.
DEVASTATION BYRM
Reclained Desert Swept t., S1,
000,000 Damage Den. -
San Francisco, Cal.-For three days
a sand storm raged in the Inb. Valley
In the Colorado Desert, and an arti
ficial 'oasis of 000 acres, made by dig
ging artesian wells, has been swept
clear of vegetation, the loss being $1,
00000.
The desert had been planted in mel
ons, and 300 carloads of melons, worth
$1200 a car, were almost ready for
shipment when the storm broke. Dur
ing its progress the thermometer regis
tered E6 degrees in the shade.
A Hot Town in Illinois.
The mercury reached 103 degreos at
Metropolis. Ill.
R~ussia Still Holds Manchuria.
In ecntradiction of the recent report
that Russia already had practically
evacuated Manchuria, an official dis
patch just received in St. Petersburg
from Kharbuin says the evacuation has
not even bWgun.
Chief of rolice Escapes Cenviction.
At Minneapolis, Minn., the jury in
the case of Superintendent of Police
Frederick W. Ames. charged with ac
cepting a bribe, after being out eigh
teen hours returned a verdict of not
'REPLY OF. THE VATICAN
Settlement of Frars' Land Questions
by Arbitration Froposed.
The Philippine Government to Buy Lands
of Eeligious Orders, the Holy See
Acting as Intermediary.
Rome.-The answer of the Vatican
to the note of Judge Ta't, Governor of
the Philippine Islands, concerning re
ligious affairs in the archipelago, has
been delivered to Judge Taft. The an
swer follows:
The contract which the Vatican pro
poses shall be signed by both parties
comprises twelve articles.
The first article says the Philippine
Gc .ernment is to buy the lands of the
four religious orders concerned, the
Holy See acting as intermediary.
The second article describes what are
the agricultural lands to be bought.
The third article says that If some of
these lands are possessel by corpora
tions the friars will sell their share.
The fourth article establishes a tri
bunal of arbiters, to be composed of
five members, two of whom are to be
chosen by the Vatican, two by the Phil
ippine Government, and the fifth by the
other four. In case of disagreement as
to the fifth member, he shall be chosen
in common accord by the Pope and
President Roosevelt.
The fifth article provides that the
work of the arbiters shall begin on Jan
uary 1, 1903.
The sixth article refers to title deeds;
these will be transferred to the Philip
pine Government.
Article 7 sets forth that payment is
to be made in Mexican dollars In the
period of time proposed by Judge Taft
in his note of July 3, interest during
,the period of payment accruing at four
per cent,
Article 8 deals with the transfer to
the church of ancient crown lands with
ecclesiastical buildings on them.
The ninth article proposes amicable
accord in the matter of the existing
charitabte or educational trusts which
are In dispute. In the event of a fail
ure to agree In these matters recourse
is to be had to the arbiters, to whom
will also be submitted the case of the
Medical College of San Jose at Manila.
The tenth article provides for arbitra
tion as to the Indemnity the United
States shall pay for the ecclesiastical
buildings used during the war in the
Philippines.
According to the eleventh article, the
expenss of the tribunal of arbiters are
to be paid by the Philippine Govern
ment.
Article 12 declares that the Holy See
in the sphere of action which is in its
competence, shall use all its influence
for the pacification of the Philippine
Islands and in favor of adhesion of the
people to the established Government,
and that it shall prevent all political
opposition on the part of the clergy,
both regular and secula:-.
SHARK TOWED THEM TO SEA.
Queer Things Happening in the Gulf
Since It Got So Salty.
New Orleans, La.-From all parts of
the Mississippi Sound and the bays and
bayous off the Louisiana and Missis
sippi coast come wonderful stories of
the unprecedented saltiness of the Gulf
waters and of the appearance of deep
water fish hitherto unknown here. The
belief is growing that the volcanic dis
turbances manifested by the Marti
nique disaster are the cause. At Horn
Island, Harrison County, Miss., a num
ber of devil fish, one of them measur
lug thirty feet from tip to tip, have
been harpooned by fishermen. There
has also been an Invasion of man-eat
ing sharks.
A party of gentlemen from New Or
leans while fishing on Ship Island fas
tened their three boats together and
steadied them with a heavy anchor.
A shark became entangled in the an
chor, carried all three boats out to,
sea and finally wrecked them on the
shore. The fishermen narrowly eS
caped with their lives.
BLOW UP JAIL TO ESCAPE.
Prisoners Use D~ynamite, But Jailer Holds
Them in Check With a Revolver.
St. Joseph, Mo.-Forty prisoners con
fined in the county jail made a daring
attempt to escape by blowing out the
rear end of the jail with dynaimite.
The building was badly wrecked and
one wing of the court house shattered.
The prisoners had gone into their
cells and none of them was Injured.
Jailer Thomas rushed to the scene the
minute the explosion occurred, and, re
volver In hand, guarded the hole torn
out by the explosion until assistance
arrived, thus frustrating a wholesale
delivery. Not a prisoner got away.
James Blades, under a ten years' sen
tence for highway robbery, Is believed
to be the prisoner who applied the dy
namite, assisted by Leek Allen, under
sentence for the same crime.
WAS JUST AS OLD AS THE U. S.
Death of a Tennessee Nqegro Who Was
.Born on July 4, 1776.
Knoxville, Tenn.-Ferry Chesney, the
oldest man in Tennessee, died at his
home on the summit of Copper Ridge
on July 4, at the age of 126 years, the
day of his death being his birthday.
Chesney was born in Virginia on July
4. 1776, the day independence was de
cared. As a slave he belonged to Jon
athan Jackson at Clarksville on the
Roanoke River. When he was twelve
years old he was thrown Into the pres
ence f Geoge Wshington while at
tending his master.
For fifty years he had lived a her
mit's life, and it was several days af
ter his death when his body was dis
cvered
Adds Suicide to His Tragedies'.
Theodore Oelfeuer, who murdered
his wife and wounded his baby and a
seventeenyear-old step-daughter, com
mitted suicide in his cell at the police
station In Chicago. His body was dis
covered hanging by a rope made from
his undergarments.
A Census of Glass-3faklar.
A census bulletin describing the pro
gress In the glass-making interestS of
the United States, shows that there are
355 glass-making establishnments, em
ploying a capital of $1,423,903.
OURL BUDCGET
OF HumoR.
Things as They Are.
The leopard cannot change its spots,
Nor can the fool amand his ways,
But neither sits with gloomy thoughts,
On that account, through dismal days;
The leopard's glad it has its spots,
The fool's enchanted with his ways
-Chicago Record-Herald.
Disturbed the Peace.
"She disturbed my peace of mind."
"How?"
"Gave me a piece of hers."-Detroit
Free Press.
A Jewel.
Betzer-"Why do you have Aron bars
in front of your kitchen windows and
door?"
Shemster-"To prevent the escape
of the. ccok."-Brooklyn Life.
The Incorruptible.
Heavy Fare-"Cabby, I'll ire you
half a crown to get me to stationl
in ten minutes."
Cabby-"Well, sir, you might corrupt
me. but you can't bribe the hoss"
The King.
Generous to a Fault.
Bings-"I nevei s4w such a generous
man as Smithers. He'll divide with
anybody"
Bangs-"Yes, no matter how much
they have."-Cornell Widow.
Waste of Time.
"Why. Willie, you have a spot o1A.
your new suit. Come here and let me
clean it."
"What's the use? Give me a day or
two longer and I'll have all the rest
of the suit so dirty no one can see the
spot."-Chicago Post.
Not the Good Old Way.
"How's the frew reporter?" asked the
managing editor.
"Amateur," answered the city editor.
"How can you tell so soon?"
"Failed to start a two-column story
of a tragedy with the rerihark that It
beggared description." - Washington
Star.
Going-Gonhg-Gowe o
Shopkeeper tto small child, who has
brought back sa recent
"What's the matter with the cheese
my dear?"
Small Child-"Please, father says.
when he wants any bait for fishing be
cn dig 'em up in our back garden."
The King.
Social Paradoxes.
Polly-"Auntie says you made you"'
self horribly m'~spicuous at the musi-~
ale last night."
Dolly (young and ingenue)-"Weli
I'd like to know what she'd call incon
spicuous! George and I were quite
out of signt, clear around th~e turn in
the stairs, the whole evening"-Snmart
Set.
Sparing His Feelings.
H-ttie-"Now that you have broken
your engagement with Fred. shall you
return to him the diamond ring he
gave you'
Minna-"Certainly not, Hettie: it
would be cruel to give him a thing
that would be a .-onstant-reminder of
the hiappiness he had missed."-Boston
Transcript.
-Noue in stock.
I observe," said the literary custom
r. "that 'concealment, like a worm I'
the bud,' hath preyed 'on the damask
cheek' of some of these apples. That
is a poetical quotation. I presume you
have read Shakespeare?"
"Red Shakespeare!" echoed the ap
ple dealer. "No, sir- that's a variety
I've never heard of."-Chicago Tzt.
bune.
Brave by Proxy.
Eployer-"Well, what did lhe say
when you called to collect that bill?"
Clerk'a"That he would break every
bon:In my body and pitch me out of
the window if I showed my face there
again."
Empoyer-"Then go back at once,
and tell him he can't frighten me by
hi violence."-New York Journal.
Much Smoke, Some Fire.
"I understand that you have made a
life study of volcanoes," said the in
ter'iewer.
"I have." answered the scientist.
"What do you regard as the most im
portant conclusion to be deducted frotm
your researches?"
"Simply this: If you live near a crae
ter that starts to smoke, take steam'
shi passage for somewhere else."
Washington Star