TALE OF A MARTYR. ?ad vknt and Nor with .olid atoff like thalT To bar pwd^p!t crtKSeT AaA oho fooght with firm i AJX temptation to get fat. *8o in conraa of time ahe graw to Bo a port of what a Wa chew to? Kaa dy Oats she ate at 2.08 And AaeptJc bran at 4: Afijat 5 aho'd cot her dmntv " Of Mat-Cora (that woo o winner!). iAajhm hope on growing thinner SU asepticized the morol Well, this tale mut hare an ending. And itia bo uae pretending That the end we are intending U a triumph, for it ain't; . MieaSophronia Jennie Moddle, With her hygienic twaddle. Through eternity will toddle A? a predigested saint. ?Baltimore New*. TKe Man of Resources * * * By FRANKLIN WELLES CALKINS I N the rammer of 1867.** said Kelly, the post trader, "I started out to take a ( no? Ig""" 'it of gooda to tto Black Hills country, wkm most of the blanket to *>e gathered. *T* the middle of Au f*8t wlth * ???* of packhorses and KtW? T^f.n^t.Lam?Ure' mj driver. Ml Little Chief, to act aa guide and terpreter to the Chejennes and Grog 221 1 ?qU,d then ?Peak Sioux .Very well, but Little Chief could talk in seven wholly different Indian fonguea; without him such an expedi bon^could hardly have been under J3V?f^.aCro8s to the Mis *nd fo,,owed that stream nearly Sii? i without meeting Indians, ive crossed over to the Belle Dfa^hiul "Si followed that past the Pine hUls. There were no buffaloes ex. S?I. !r*5?,e"* 8trfly hunches of old rl?r!h , d. been ,oft behlnd m the mjjjch of south-going herds. uJuHna W?h0d reached a cre<* caned Medicine Dance. Little Chief an ssssd s? th? oga,,aias ti^ allies had all gone south after the buf tolo. He said the Ogallalas. or a good en^it'th ' had w,nterpd on this J?/?1"* !)Cf0re? and hftd rai8ed SnrE? i vegetaWe8 at their village 5 ^JTTr.- Ttloy h*<* wo. -Sronld nr t h Intended to return gorth to lT ThPv th0y 0,,proached cau Crows? nnrt h ,P/OV.? to be mountain ?een a wmL ?. tbem ha<* never White man before. iwJl ?n had "oth,n* to trade. They jrereall armed with bow, ??d ?rro? J ttelr^Wtu^'wa.0'. "te ,n' blankets ew old woo,on theMHr?rP?rCter Wns acn.l??1 CO return to their buffalo eamo and .1"^ " 8woV?i]trirf' ,n a dnv or two T Jim ,7 d Reon U,? ,nRt of tli cm 0?rlX? In"' i0. pnnor ?t K?S?HHr-= m ,lny8 kopt nn kerdod nm t ro^'? and closolv ?erued our stock at night. Then nor no furthsp eign 0f otlr vl_,f * 22-? ,h"? '"ytZrZZYSo >J? wl,'eb mmt hn ? he? "Ve 'r ??. with a J ., "n hand. Ave wi ?T. I"1? the Ml,?>url. And www still. When daylight came we r."- hy a war '?The, ~i2l 0 or Cnw' ?ralr ,2 ""?> np on the Mood nn m? ?nd when we 5^sn^Ts?12^ b*nk' th^ SfKiJssaaut dcntaIhrUr, ROOd" tfind ?nd Incl dentally our scalps. I ha4j brouirht fifT1 rtfle" for n,yw,,f n"?1 men. and the Crows were armed only with arr0W# and ? few 0,d muz de-loading funs. ? held i little council of war, and finally decided to make some ball-boats for our goods and take op oar march as quickly aa possible dawn the creek. There had been rains on the moun tain*. and there was water enough in the Medicine Dance to float the wide bottomed akin tabs of the Sioux. "While I r.atched the Crows Little Chief sad Bat fell to work cutting wil lows and making framea for the boats. As thej had some half-tanned bull pelts and plenty of thongs, there was no difficulty In building the craft. In an hour they had their Bret bull-boat loaded. "By mid-afternoon we had our sup plies afloat? five boats lightly loaded and tied together. Then we took up our march. Bat cordelllng the boats, and Little Chief and I walking on either bank of the creek. There was but little timber along this stream only patches of willows. There was no covert that we couldn't have driven the Crows out of In a few minutes, so we did not fear an ambush. "We believed that, at least until help came, they would attack us only under cover of night, and so we pushed ahead as fast as Bat could pull the boats. When beaver dams lay across the channel, either Little Chief or my self would help lift the tubs over. Our progress was dlscouraglngly slow. The Crows followed us leisurely, quite like an escort of cavalry. "At night we camped where the banks of the creek were bare of vege tation, but offered pits where we could command the level flats on both sides. A little after midnight we were at tacked. The Crows came with a rush and for a moment I thought we were done for; but our sharp flre and good cover discouraged them, and they clat tered away. Our shots knocked over two ponies, but if any of their men were hit at this time they succeeded in concealing the fact. In the morning we took up our march again, with the Crows follow ing like two flocks of buzzards. "Toward noon they rode on ahead, and about three-fourths of them dis mounted and took possession of the creek channel. But we had plenty of ammunition, and we bombarded every turn of the banks and every bit of wil low or timber cover, and go drove them out. We wounded one Indian In this fight. That night the Crows campcdns near to us as they dared, and danced nnd pounded their tom-toms all night. They hoped to keep us awake and wear us out. I suppose. But we took turns on guard, and slept Just the same. "The next day we had two sharp skirmishes in the creek channel, and In the last we disabled thrco Crows. lis fight would have encouraged us greatly, but immediately nfterward the host lies sent a runner to the west. . "Bat nnd the Interpreter now thought Mint our only chance of escape .was to crawl away from our enmp In the night, each man for himself, nnd find Iilll cover. "I knew my helpers counseled wisely but I hung out for another day or two of bull-boating, and they agreed to stay with me. I think Little Chief was persuaded by the prospect of knocking over more Crows with his rifle, which I now gave him as a present. He was a keen fighter nnd a brave man. That afternoon our progress wns very alow nnd cautious, for timber had thickened along the stream, nnd we had to feel our wny through the groves, promptly shooting at every flutter of a leaf that could excite sus picion. "Toward night we pnsscd an nbnn j.oned village site, where wild pump kins were growing. Home were ripe nnd of great size, nnd Bnt put two or three of them Into hi* bull-boat, to nij),ko n c'iange from our meat diet. "That night we camped within a shelter of natural rifle-pits, made hv a short curve just below a short curve of the creek Just below a grove of young nsh. We kept close to this tim ber. so that we could tnke to It quickly if attneked by the Crows, and a deep, dry ditch protected our position per fectly from a horseback rush out of the woods. "Wo had one of the pumpkins for supper, nud while Hnt was cutting It up an Idea came Into my head. When we hnd finished the meal It was dark and I asked Little Chief to find the Crow camp for me. "While he was gone I made a Jack o -lantern of the shell of the biggest pumpkin. Then I shaved the end of 7 *Bh po,c to n br?o?n head, nnd filled the splints with elk tallow melted by a Are brand. I put the smooth end of mj pole through the top of my .Tack-o lantern and through a hole in the bottom till I could fasten It with the shavings torch Inside. I then tied a crossplcce to represent* outspread arms, and was ready for my trial, "Bat watched my work curiously, ? oitd though I ?ald nothing, he under stood my purpose. " Hub/ ha Mid, finally, "me, I have Just eao leetlo head. I tfctak tttM w??l actti tb?M tachi mm* ?f you goat dm *ia?gl.' HWkM little Chi* cum la W Mid the Grow ??? ?u about ? |uabo( abow tht giowft ? t that there wart two scouts ?a hwwftatl oa tho ptalrie below as, lid how aanj mora oa the watch ho ooukl not say. Whoa 1 ?bowed him my JacW-laatera. he looked at It kmc and earnestly, ?*! deafly regarding It as a fetish of aamc hlad. *Huhf ho aald. 'My brother hat made a medlclher , **I then told blm and Bat to stay by the goods at all hasarda, took my gun, the Jack-o'-lantern and two blanket*, aad left them. 1 went directly to the month of the dry ditch. Tbla was fifteen or twenty feet deep and ran Into the creek parallel with a curve or loop on which the Crow* were camped. "I felt my way cautiously np this un til I could actually hear the Crows talking at their camp, and also the sound of ponies grafting close at hand. 80 far I had found my path deer. It was neck or nothing with me now. "I hung two blankets on the arms, nnd lighted the torch of my pumpkin* head. Grssplng the pole so is to draw the blankets about *my face, yet leav ing the eyes uncovered, 1 scrambled up a steep bank jit the ditch. Before my feet touched the .level I heard picketed ponies running the length of their ropes and snorting with fright. Some of them pulled their pins snd scampered off, and then yells from the Indians' camp and a wild rout of con fusion followed. / "With my grinning fire-face turned upon them, with flame and amoke for a scalp-lock, I bore down on the camp, ' walking steadily, as if intending to est up everything in the wsy. "The Crows' camp was cleared al most as quickly as If a cyclone hsd passed over it. In every direction V saw the Indians run for their horses, and when they got to them they simply took themselves out of that country as if a cavalry troop were after them. "The next morning we picked up nine ponies which they had left behind. Six of these were our own, and so we had no trouble in getting back to the Missouri with our freight."? Youth's Companion. 4 The First Hjryedcrttle "The subject of the first use of the hypodermic syringe was discussed at the last meeting of the army surgeons in New Orleans last spring," said Dr. B. D. Jackson, "and one surgeon stated that the first time it was used, he thought, was in the Army of the Ten nessee. While in the Tennessee Armj I wrote to a friend in Augusta, J. P? K. Wallace, to try to get me a hypo dermic syringe and send it to me. 1 never had seen one. but thought from what I had heard about it that it would be very useful in relieving the wound* ed soldiers of pain. "My friend was fortunate enough to secure one from a physician, and sent it to me while I was on duty at the hos pital at Blnggold, Ga. I exhibited if to my friends? the surgeons there, eigh teen in number? but none of them had ever seen one. At that time I was treating a very severe case of dysen tery, the patient being a chaplain from Texas and one of General Bragg's most reliable scouts. One of the surgeons ^suggested that we try the hypodermic syringe on the patient, which was done by inserting a quarter of a grain ot morphine in the back. It is possible that the army surgeon at the New Or leans convention who referred to the tlrst use of the syringe in the Tennes see Army was one of the eighteen I have referred to."? Chattanooga Times. Picking Cotton. . Reaping the wheat a handful at a time would be on a par with the pres ent method of gathering our immense cottoo crops. Did the reader ever think what it means to pick out one of our ten mil lion bale crops of cotton? Did you evet stop to think that at least fifteen billion pounds of raw cotton must be picked from the bolls by band? That is au almost incalculable uinount. yet that is what the crop means, and what the manual labor is that gets it out a lock at a time. The limits of our cotton crop nre to a great extent fixed by the ability to get it out and ready foi the market? not only to get it ready in time, but to get us much of it out as possible during good weather before the cold and wet of winter Injure tlie staple and interfere with the work of picking it out. But we are persuaded that a success ful machine would not prove an un mixed blessing for this section or for the farmers generally.? Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser. Tho Cllm?t? of Mancliurls. ' The climate of Manchuria may be re* garded as good; the heat of the sum mer Is quite bearable, and the bright, crisp weather throughout the long win ter is most healthy and agreeable, pro vided the north wind is not blowing. In winter, at midday, the sun shining through an exquisitely clear atmos phere is so warm that moderately thick clothing, with the ears covered. Is all one requires, but in the early morning, or after sunset, and above all, when a northerly wind is blowing, furs are n necessity. Spring nnd autumn nre both short. In the south plowing be gins early in April, and by the end of .Tune or beginning of July the wheat harvest is complete. July and August arc tho hottest and wettest mouths, but In a country extending through fifteen degrees of latitude there are considerable variations in temperature throughout tho country, the rigor of tho climate increasing as the north is approached. ? From a Lecture by a Former British Military Attache in China, The Cry of tho Clor gj. The service held at St. Paul's Cathe dral in connection with the Queen Vic toria Clergy Fund drew attention to the conditions under which thousands of clergymen do their work. Within the last ten years over 100 clergymen of the Church of England have been admitted to the workhouses and pau? per lunatic asylums In England and Wales, More than half of the vicars and rectors -are living on Incomes not one of which exceeds ?3 10s. a week, and 1841 of them would gladly ex* change their revenues fo? a weekly ?2. ?London Paper. tHE EX-LANDLADY. Some of Her Cxporienco and a Real Romance. o N on) of vbose stormy, snowy night* that nadc nil oat-o'-dosr* nor? than uncomfortable, r. party of folks, the uajority of thcoi being young womcj, wailing away the thne tslllnc sOrics. more or lees grewi}:ue la their character, as belts a tempestuous wlalcr eveaing. while at the saiae tlno tbey wer? en gaged In assisting a hostess l.i enter taining a visitor frara aort'aern re::n sylrama who was a guest of the Inily of the house. The visitor, who 'was well advanced In years, for a long time? forty years or more, as sM her self acknowledge?? had beeu the pro prietor of a boarding hsuso in a West ern city. The younger ones had about reached the end of their tether in the recital of gloomy and peculiar yarns wheu one of them said to the visitor: "Come, It's your turn. You ought to have lots of stories of events that hap pened in your long career as a land lady. Haven't you, now?" "Oh, yes; please do," chimed in the others. They wouldn't take "No" for an answer, and the good-natured ami very Intelligent old lady, captivated by their appeals, launched forth into a recital of varied experiences which kept her listeners spcllbouud until the time came at which to say good uight. , She began by saying: "Yes. iny denrs, I will tell you a few Incidents and episodes that came under my obser vation when I took boanlers. I had a long apprenticeship at the business and willingly admit that I aiu ol. the retired list on account of age." Here she parenthetically declarer, her opinion that it wouldn't be a bad idea to pension old landladies. ll'-ie old soldiers, "and i wish," she said, "this young lady here." indicating the daughter of a well-known tneraber of Congress, "would induce her honorable pa to Introduce a bill for the relief of superanuatcd boarding house keep ers." Then she begau her ctory, or stories. "Many episodes, humoraus. dramat ic. pathetic and tragical have 'hap pened in houses where I taok board ers." she began, "and I will tell you of the saddest event which I remember. There came to my house one day a young gentleman and his bride. They were excellent people and had the best recommendations. I noticed the hectic flush In the cheeks of the young wo man and n seemingly unnatural bright ness of the eye, but she was as happy ns a bird and was fairly Idolized by her young husband. They bad beea there not more than four months when the young woman was takea seriously 111. Physicians were promptly called, and one of them said to me. after they had been In consultation one day: ?This poor lady will never go out of her room again. She will nat live a month.' Her husband ueyer left her Hide. He seemed to l ave an intuitive idea that she must die. One evening, wheu she was lying un;\>nsclous iu her bed, the young man said to the doctor, who was watching her almost Imper ceptible breathing. 'Doctor, tell me the worst. Is my wife dying? " *It Is my duty.' the doctor sait\ 'to tell you to prepare for the worst. Your wife will not survive the night.' The stricken man never said a word. His face turned the color of snow. He wulked immediately into another room and blew his brains out. The wife never knew. She passed beyond the shadows of death before sunrise next morning. That," she said, "was the most tragical ns well as the uxst pa thetic event I ever noticed. "But life," she went ou, "particular ly boardtag house life, is not nil raade up of gloom and misery. There are Innumerable romances and one hap pened right under my roof. There was a young minister who, with hi3 sister, was at one time among my boarders. The preacher, a very Intellectual and pleasing man, was engaged to marry a young woman who was a school teach er in a nearby city, while a young man who was a master mccliinist iu a big factory was dead la love with the minister's sister. lie was much hap pier than his brothcr-iu-law-to-be. for he, the brother-in-law, couid only sec his sweetheart about cncc in two weeks, while the mac'jlaist visited his lady love seven"evealngs in each week. At last everything was arrunged. I wns in their contldence. Boarding house mistresses," she declared, "gen erally are confided In by the young lovers under their shelter. One day the minister went to the little town where his heart was and was married In the forenoon. He came back the same day with his bride, and in the afternoon performed the marriage ceremony for Ills sister and her young man. They nil started on a wedding tour that evening, as happy a quartette as ex isted in the State of Ohio. "One time there was a young man came to 07 house from Canada," con tinued the old lady. "He represented himself as a student of divinity and brought with him two or three letters of recommendation, which, he said, were from preachers in his locality. He was a very handsome, rather aristo cratic looking mas. and as his creden tials appeared good he was properly welcomed. He was courteous and quiet and soon had the respect of every man and the admiration of every woman In the house. The only thing that appeared queer was that the divinity student was a regular night owl (If you will allow me to use that unladylike expression). He had so much church work to attend to, he said, 'that frequently kept him up late.' One afternoon the servant opened the door. In answer to a ring, and Just behind her came the young student of divinity. He walked right Into the arms of a rather rough look ing person who was no less than a Can adian detective. There was considera ble consternation, and I appeared on the scene. The detective told me that 1 jras harboring a robber, forger ant gambler, end orilrctl the young mar to gt with him. lie said to me: 'Mad era. ell this fellow says Is true. I nm a forger and nil that, but you need have no fcr.r;' and then he braved his cap tor in tseorn, and told bint he ought, as a law offleer, to know that there was uo extradition law to hold him. *1 air not goiug back to Canada/ he said, and he didn't. He never came baeV to my house, though. "One of the funniest happenings tliaf I recollect," said the old reuilnlscenccr "was when on a very dark night a youth tried to get away from my house without settliug him board bill lie arranged to lower his carpet sack from a back window by a rope and make his own escape by a rear door. (It happened tbat a pollcennn was courting my cook, and Just at that time, abort 10 o'clock, was bidding his inamorata good eight and Uugcr ing at the door, as all lovers will, when he felt something strike his head, and lookir^ u;>, he saw a rope, and at tached to it was the dangling carpet bag. He seized this, and soon had its owner also. I was called, and the poor youns fellow, crying piteously, said he had t!ie chance to get work in an adjacent town, and had no mere money than would pay his fare, lie didn't intend, ho said, to cheat ine, bul he had to get -way to secure certaiu employment. lie cried like a baby all t'ao time, and my heart pitied biiu in hl3 distress. I told bim to go back to bod, and leave town after be bad had his breakfast next morning. The cook pleaded witli the policeman not to arrest hlra, and that functionary re leased him forthwith. He went away next day with his heart full of grati tude, and In a short time I got a letter from him enclosing the small amount of money he owed me and reiterating his thanks for my kindness to him. He never came back to the city without calling on me." "But did none of your boarders fal\ In love with 3*ou?" queried one of her young listeners. "Oh, yes," wac the response. "Sev eral callow youths were smitten by my elderly charms. Their avowals, bow ever, generally resulted in their seek ing in chert order fresh fields and pas tures new. No well seasoned, sub stantial man among my little family ever proposed to me, however. Ah!" she said, "If only one had done so, probably I would not be as I am now ? an aged but thoroughly contented old maid."? Washington Star. Devoted Newspaper Men. One of the most noteworthy inci dents of the Baltimore conflagration is found in the part played by the news paper men. Some of the thrilling de tails, as related in the Baltimore pa pers, recall the heroic devotion of such men in the pursuit of their calling on the battlefield. While the inside forces of the newspaper offices were "holding the fort" until driven out by fiery blasts, reporters outside were pushing their way with firemen in search of news. The American says of the reporters: "The roaring fur nace was just back of them, the al most intolerable heat stifling them, the shoes blistering on their feet from the heated pavements to such an extent that muny of them were unable to walk ufterward; yet still they kept on, keeping tab of the buildings tbat were attacked by the flames," etc. A graphic picture is drawn by the American of the scenes in its own of fice when the flery invasion came. The office force "worked at their desks on the story of the lire with the flames crackling until the telegraph poles in the street opposite were ablaze, and the thermometer In the rooin regis tered 100; and they stuck to their |?osts until they had literally to be driven out by their chiefs. Kven then it was the paper and their duty to the public they still thought of, for personal val uables were left behind that the forms holding the types might be saved."? Los Angeles Herald. Ilftllng on tlic Itnrri. The gullish herd who hug the delu sion that they can make money by backing horses twould do well to road nud inwardly digest t'u? speech of the Duke of Portland at Mansfield* on Sat urday. The Duke said that be was certain thnt if he had consistently betted, tho money would have gone in floods from his exchequer Into thnt of the bookmakers. "Be a man ns rich as Croesus, he has only to go on backing horses long enough and in sufficiently large siuns of iAoney, to lose his for tune and most probably Cnally to land himself with disgrace In t lie bank ruptcy court." If a man can afford to lose the money he stakes be has a per fect right to amuse himself by gambling. The michief Is that three fourths of the people who back horses are not In a position to bear tho losses that sooner or later they Incur. With the best of horses and the best of In formation It is impossible, 8ii ys the Duke of Portland, to win in flic long run. It is futile for outsiders to expect to do so. An Irish Cuitnm. With Easter Sunday the austerities of Lent come to an end among Catholics Therefore in many parts of Ireland the arrival of Kaster Sunday Is greet ed with as much rejoicing as Is else where shown at the coining of New Year's. In every cabin a fat hen and a dainty piece of bacon are put Into the pot by the cotter's wife about nine or ten o'clock on Saturday night. But wo? to the person who tastes any of the succulent mixture until cockcrow! At midnight, however, everybody Joins In clapping hands, dancing and crying, "Out with the Lent!" Then the Joyous pnrty retires to sleep until chanticleer announces the dawn, when all pour out to see the sunrise, dancing in hon or of the resurrection. After that, oajon and bscon falorai WHO PETS MOCHA COFFIE? ?C it Takn fey Bktlka n< Omw? ?? ?C Anktat. "I don't believe there Is a pound ot genuine Mocha coffee on this contl? nent." Mr. C. T. HUllglas, a coffee mer> chant, in formes me, "or that 200 peo ple in thla country hare ever tasted it, unless they have at some time vis ited Arabia and drunk it at the table of some sheik or governor. ' "The true Mocha Is the finest coffee grown; It has a delicious flavor that makea it as superior to the very best of other brands, as silk is superior to cotton, but tbe crop is extremely lim ited. and hardly any more than sat isfles purely local demands. Some Arabian coffee may find its way to thir country; it may even be called Mocha but it Is not the real article. I am sure, and none of us have ever had it here though we do get the best of otliet brands that are grown in Ceylon nml Java, and that means m>uie might; Que coffee. It Is not Mochn. however, for the whole of the true Mochn crop each year wouldn't supply the coffee demands of one ward in St. Ix>ui8 alone for a period of sis months. The best and plumpest berries of the Mochn growth, those with the most exquisite flavor, are eagerly taken by the gov ernors snd shleks in the vicinity, and they have to get their orders in in ad vance, so that they may be sure of their annual supply. Tbe second grade berries go to the wealthier cltizcns, not of the governing class, and the third or poorest, grade of berries. which art not much superior to the best Java coffee, are sold to tbe people, and the demand invariably exceeds the supply tenfold. "Sometimes a few pounds of tliii cheapest grade of Mocha finds its wuj to Constantinople, but it is very, verj seldom, and I don't believe an quncf of it has ever got any further wesi than that. I presume that if. by roiik hook or crook, a pound of the real plump berried Mocha were landed it tills country it would Bell for n price that even a Rockefeller might hesitate to pay. We get tbe best coffee growu apart from the Mochn. but tbe local conditions which prevail where tha* coffee is raised prevent us from ob tabling any, mid I hardly think the real thing will ever be found in our markets." ? St. Louis Globe- Democrat. WORDS OF WISDOM. In order to be popular, forget to say a good deal. Truth witnesses in vain where mullet Is the Judge. No temper at all may be worse than some bad temper. lie who Is a respecter of persons can not respect himself. Wisdom is always conceded to be a rich man until he loses liis riches. Do not emplinsize your own virtues by enlarging on the failings of others A safe way to judge a man is to as certain just what friends he doesn't make. A genius is the man who refuses to believe in tbe impossibilities of other people. Man sighs for rest, yet pushes into the game each new day with the old eagerness. * The claims to wisdom of owls and a multitude of men rest upon their looks, and nothing more. To get rid of n bore, ask liim to re peat his longest and favorite story twice. Even he cannot stand that. Only a smart man can conceal from a woman the fact that he isn't as smart as he would wish her to think be is. We thank those who kill Time for us. and rejoice in his passing; and then we weep for him and wish him back. One of the curious things about n man who wants to borrow money from you to-day is his eager determination to repay it to-morrow. There are three stages in the exist ence of the average man when he i* of particular Interest to his commun ity? viz., 11 1 his birth, marriage and fuucral. ? Success. 1'ri'Hii (irove. Not only do we grow better pecans in South Carolina than any of the Texas variety that have ever been sohl in thi* market, says the Charleston News and Courier, but \vc have in South Caro lina the largest pecan grove in the World. It belongs to Captain John S. llorlbeck. of Charleston, and is situ ated in Christ Church parish, just across the Ashley Kiver from this city. We wish that it were possible foi South ( nrollnu to cuter the eouipc. tition with Texas in pecan mils, and with Texas and Louisiana and all ih Irluli <>r It. "I'm sorry. Mrs. O'TooIe. to hear thai fer husband suffers from insomny. My husband had llie same complaint, but he cured It." "How diil he, now?" "Sure, lie bccame a night watchman." ? Itrooklyu l.ii'e. Not SimIi it llitil Shot. Cayhoy Mint" I a. tn.i "I say. old ciuip, isn't this :i little Inte for you to he out? Aren't you afraid your wife will miss you?" I'itipeck -"I hoj)e she will, but she can throw pretty straight for a woman. " ? Illtistraled Hits. Nf? rilKT to (in. "< J real Scott. Maria! You're not go ing li> begin houst'ch?aning now, uio you ?" "Of course. Why not?" "Why. they've closed up my cltilt' for repairs, I'll have to walk the streets." ?Chicago American. CnuKlit In Hi* Own Trap. Ilnrilup? "I'm very sorry, but I can't pay you to-day. You see, t lie grocer tin ? I just been here, and ? " ilutcher (interrupting)?' "Yes. I Just met him, and h? said you pu- him off because you had to pay me. So here's the bill."? Tit -lilt*. At (lie Hull. lfe? "Who Is the girl with the de? lilslon dress?" She ? "You mean illusion." lie? "No; I men n d 'lusion. She ifl very plain In the face, but her gown Is so stunning it makes her look really beautiful."? Detroit Free Press, ;?K HIm rxriKf. "No," said a citizen, v. lien nuked if he would contribute anything to the re Mef of the llood mfTYrers; "I don't think I will." "Can't afford it. eh?" "It Isn't thai, but tic.' last time I something for charity one of the papers spelled my name wrong." If In Yenrn. Poor Feeble (about to be operated on for appendicitis)?' "Doctor, before you begin I wish you would send find have our pastor, the He v. Mr. Harps, come over." Dr. Cutter? "Certainly, if you wish It, but-ah " "I'd like to be opened with prayer."? Life, ? ?