UNCLE BILUE 1
AT T
* 'i * K
? ' _ I
never seed such a crowd in my life
as was at the State fair Thursday.
Looked to me like everybody in the
state was there with his wife, or mayhe
somebody's else's; anyhow there
was a sight of > folks there. Lester
Miller sed it looked to him like New
York on salesday. (I don't know as
Lester's been to New York, but I
knows he was onct to Arthurs and
knows what a crowd is like.) And a let
on dust and onions. I got a good
mind never to plant- another onion.
I can smell 'em yet. Thursday night
I dreamed I had been condemned to
death, and instead of being- hanged
they were going to shet mie up in a
tight room and turn the smell of all
?
them; fair week onions in on me until
the end. If it hada really happened
.the end woulda been short, sure
enough.?Weakin' about onions I
don't know where some' folks smellers
'kin be cause the last I seed of Jack
Carroll' and Doc Sawyer they was a
huntin' a place to eat, as if they
didn*t have no nose to point tlie way.
But the onions was only a bad
spot in a gOOO snow. j. seea a. ne?,y
of thinks that was as good to look at
as the onions was bad to smell, and
the very fu^t thing I saw that made
me feel good, was the Oak Grove exhibit.
It sure was put in a good place
for folks to see, right at the fust end
of the big building where a blind man
would stump- his toe over it. And it
give old Lexington a mighty good
place in the picture. I heard a lot
o' folks talking about it, and some
of 'em s?id "it made "em mighty
hungry to look at them good old hams
and sides o' meat hanging up there,
and the good looking cakes and rolls
and bread and so forth in the ?how
case. It just made us Lexington folks
swell up like a.^pouter pigeon to hear
the good things folks was saying
about it I only wished that Char
ter Oak had. a/been long side it too,
I think everybody would er wanted to
[ - move to Lexington right away.
Further on in this same building I
j" seen a crowd er folks round a place
r like a gum ei* bees swarming, arid I
I thought to myself it must be a big
| show going on there, but when I axeu j
Joe Caughn^an, who was just pushing]
out the crowd, what was the excite- |
ment he sed it was two good looking;
girls giving away coffee. And Joe |
said it sure was good. I guess maybe I
it was the good looking girls that was j
a-giving it away that tuk Joe's eye.
But anyhow if you want to get a
"crowd just start to giving something
away, thinks I, and you'H have a' lot
of customers. I followed on down
to the automobile room,- thinking
maybe they'd- be advertising them
buggies the same "way, out nary a
automobile did I see handed out?and
there warn't near the crowd there
either. I got disgusted and went out
behind the big; building, where there
was a feller w?ho sed he was a Hindoo
telling fortunes. I thought the thing
was free, just to amuse the crowd, so
I thought I'd help things along and
have my fortune told. But come to
find out the feller charged ten cents,
.
'so I backed out,"'cause I don't believe
in being extravagant, but while I was
a watching the heathen gobble up the
dimes who should walk up but
"W. E. Humphries, (most everybody
calls him "Hump.") which is selling
automobiles in town, "Hump" muster
been feeling kinder reckless like,
cause he dished oat a dime, sorter
careless like, just like he was cutting
off his right arm or something easy,
and tells the guy to tell him how
long he would live. So t "Hump"
writ his name on a 'piece of paper
and handed it,to the Hindoo, wbich
same put the paper in a glass bottle
with both ends open at the muddle and
in a minute or two took it out with
his fortune writ all over it, including
a picture of his hand with his life
lines all crisscross in it. I don't know
what it said, 'cause "Hump" wouldn't
1/vaIt ot it 'hut it milstPT
ICC XIV/ UUUJ iVVXV W.V ?v
I been good, 'cause he went off smiling
I and took a chance on a blanket which
a feller was running a wheel of forB
tune for. I spec the fortune muster
sed that if generosity didn't kill him,
B he would live a long time.
B I strolled on down the midday, and
B my wife kepter trying-to git ire to
B take the kid into some er them shows,
but finally I says, -look here Sally if
you goner take on sich extravagance
B here's twenty cents, you go and take
little Bill to see the monkey race,
and I'll wait out here til! you come
out. I hate to Receive a good woman,
if Sally don't know ;about i$ it
B won't never hurt, but next to. the
H nhonkey race I seed they was a having
B ai show called?^e diving girls, which
B Mknew she wouldn't like, cause most
wbmen can't swim nohow, but I used
? to| be a humdinger in my; early d^ys,
I thought I'd like to see it tnem
S&\s had any new strokes that was
hetste rn what we used to have when I
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aasaiw
TGHTWAD
ME STATE FAIR
: was a kid. They had all I was alookin'
for, though Monroe Peak,
>'. ,
which runs the DuPre Auto Co., who
I seed sittin' over on the tother side,
jwitn one eye cioseci, sorter owi hkk,
sed he'd seen just as good many a
time. Twan't nothing new to him. I
r seed a good many other married men
there but some of 'em got's wives is
sorter funny, so I reckon I better keep
it to myself.
. : ?T ; j : *.
Fore I forgitlt; I saw a feller looked
like some kind of a foreigner take his
wife and pub her -to sleep and leave
her stretched;'but in the air, resting
on a broom handle. He said he always
done this when he wanted to go
away and leave her; so's he could find
her when he cum back. I seed a lot
of married men I knew looking at this
feller kinder wishful like and one of
them looked like- he started to take
out his roll as if he wanted to pay
the. man to teach him the trick, but
lhe(<. didn't. : But Cy Shealy," who's
been sorter helping Col. Frank Efird
1 to run the fair, ' was seen talking
I Kinaer secretly to mis iener mm
' night. Cy says he was just checking
up on him for the money he pays
the fair people, and that he ain't got
no notion o' getting married. Maybe
not. ' , t- <
After while I got tired er looking
at these shows, so I says to Sallie, I'm
a-going down to see the hogs and
cows. And they was there too. ' I
seed one hog that they sed weighed
twelve hundred pounds and another'
that the feller that owned it sed he
would sell for ten thousand dollars./
He sed the ten thousand sorter fast,
like it warn't much money, which it
ain't to John D. Rockefeller, but as
far as I was concerned the gosh derned
thing just as weller sold for ten
million dollars. I reckon, though,
nobody don't buy a hog like that to
eat I guess maybe for stock purposes
it's alright to have a ten thousand
dollar hog, but I spent afready
$1.25 at this fair and there's a limit
to all things, so I passed up the bargain.
Maybe I did wrong at- that.
But there was certainly some fine
hogs at the fair. They was -well
worth seeing, and made a feller feel
like maybe the boll weevil warn't
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.sqch a bod thing r.f ter all, ;f ir got us
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into, the habit of growing such ani >v
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mals.
There wuz some fine cows there too
and a lot of them ?the most I ever
seed together in one place. I was
glad to see folks taking interest in
these good breeds. Maybe we can git
some of that stock in this country
after while, which will mean a good
thing for us all.
Another great sight I seen was a
Fordson tractor without a driver,
which the feller who was looking
after it sed it had been er running
three days right in a circle, without
stopping and with nary a living soul
a guiding the durn thing. It made
me feel kinder hanted like at first
until I sorter thought what it meant, j
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IOU Know ititei" wjjjie n navc j
them things fixed with an alarm
clock, so's it'll start itself and go right
out to the field and plow and not wait
for nobody to hitch up or nothing. If
sich be the case I believe Sim Hendrix'll
git back to farming, 'cause he
can set the thing and won't have to
git up so soon in the morning.
I seed some fine poultry at the fair
too. Looked to me like it was better
than usual. I seed a good many Lexington
folks in there, Sam Leaphart
was in here. *Sam believes in more
chickens whether they are better
chickens.or not. In fact they do say
that Sam don't have no hankering for
'em when they're - too good. But,
however, there warn't nothing but
good ones there, and I don't think
Sam was there very long. There was
some others there too, but I ain't
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Automobile
Insure yourcarag
by Fire and agaii
My policies gi
tection.
Cost The
EDWIN G. DF
Lexingtc
Bpsnm
YOUR 1
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i goiri te'I en "re just usk Crcmer
Oswald he was in there?looking
for a feller he knew. ?
While ago I was / talking about
onions and things to eat. which reminds
me about where I et my snack
that day. Sally she had a shoe boxfull
er grub all fixed up, but I lost
her when I was er looking at the
chickens, and I got powerful hungry,
so I found a place run by the '.'votes
for women" crowd, which was a seli|
ing sandwiches, etc. They was doing
a pretty good business, so far as selling
eats, but so far as getting > votes
was concerned I'm a thinking if they
want to get the men on their side
they'll have tp get rid of some of
them nice motherly old ladies and
hook in some good looking young
ones. I noticed the only sandwiches
| they served was ham.?not a bite of
chicken. Dr. Roberts sed to me that
if the suffragists didn't believe in
chicken he wern't never going to
be no suffragist. I seen Sam Roof
shake his head at that, but I didn't
catch which side he was on?probably
he's not with the chicken crowd. As
Sallie's going to read this I ain't agoin
to give my convicti'ons, only I'll
say that I ain't in nowise stuck on
ham when there's any chicken around
?and Sally knows that as weil as I
do.
One thing that sure was interesting
to me was the fellow- who was flying
all around in a. flying machine,
takin' folks up w-ith him for $10 a
ride. I woulder like to er went only
ten dollars was too much. I been
trying all my life to get up in the
Insurance
gainst destruction
Qst loss by Theft.
ve absolute pro'
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5 Lowest.
^EHER, Agent,
>n, S. C.
AXES I
Around I
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pay your I
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money was in the way. It sure Takes
it now, even to stay on the ground. It
cost me $3.64r war tax an all, to go
I to the fair, hot counting the gasoj
line and oil I used getting there and
j back, but then I had a good time and
I don't mind it since it don't come
often. I low to go next time they
have a fair.
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REMEDY FOR SNAKEBITE.
Editor Dispatch-Xews:
For the good of some one else 1
wouiu use xo siace an incident which
happened to me the other night. Soon
after I started out hunting one of my
dogs was struck by a rattlesnake having
ten rattles. Of course I thought
1517 Main Street*
LA
THE BEST II
From every standpoint v
you find than land, which w:
declining years and be hanck
j^^When have you known t
thing to decline? Has not tl
a gradual upward moveme
Judging the future by the p;
buy it cheaper?
Read the list below, picl
your fancy, come in and tall
Some Nice Pieces
119 acres in Boiling Springs township,
45 acres open; 7-room house;
2 barns; well watered, in school district
No. 7 4.
..36 acres river land, near Saluda
River; 65 acres open, balance in wood
good well of water and lot of lumber
goes with the place.
231 acres, more or less, located
about 4 miles from Gaston fronting on
public road leading from Columbia.
3 room dwelling, barn and stables.
Good school in district No. 36.
. .103 acres west side of Long Branch
in Boiling Springs township, school
district, No. 74, in 1 mile of school and
church. 7 room dwelling, barn and
stables, fine well of water. Place well
watered. 1 1-2 miles from Elsie station
Sou. R. R.
188 1-2 acres located in the thriving
Dutch Fork, two tracts, one of 96 acres
and one of 92 1-2 acres. Fine dwelling
and outbuildings on place. In
fact, the buildings are worth one half
the purchasing price. This is the Hub
Dreher home and any one desiring a
fine place would do well to see us at
once as this place is going tc be sold.
I
!
i We have building lots in
I other attractive places not li
buy or sell come to see us.
LCAUlglUU 1VC
{
Developmen
i
W,. D. DENT, Pres. SIM L. I
S. J. LEAPHART, Secretary -
LEXING7
| -
acting on the spur of the mwment, I
tied a string tight as possible between
the place where he was bitten on the
ear and his body, and 1 couldn't tell
that the dog ever became sick.
J. A. JUMPER.
Swansea, Oct. 29.
Rat-Snap.
Read Mrs. Phillips' wire: "Youell's
Exterminator Co., Westfield, N. J. ?
Rush $3 worth of RAT-SNAP." Later
ree'd following letter, "RAT-SNAP
arrived. It rid our house of rats in
no time. Just moved here from Pa.,
where I used RAT-SNAP with great
results." Three sizes, 25c, 50c,
$1.00. Sold and guaranteed by Harmon
Drug Co.
YOU WILL LOOK YOUR BEST
*
cn Thanksgiving1 Day if you have us
examine your eyes and supply you
with glasses. We lake into consideration
personal appearance as much as
we do supplying proper glasses. If
ycu have eye trouble come to us.
Optometrist.
Columbia, S. C.
ND
NVESTMENT
/hat better investments can
ill remain to support your
dnTOn tn vnnr fhilHren?
he price of land as a general
re tendency rather been to
:nt for the last 25- years?
ist, will you ever be able to
c out the place that strikes
i
c it over with us.
to Choose From:
337 acres near Mt. Pleasant churchr
and good school, 7-room dwelling, all
necessary outbuildings, one 4-room
tenant house, 45 acres open and 50
acres under web wire fence; two public
roads run through place. Investigate
at once, as this- is listed at a
price less than the actual cost of the
buildings;.
55 acres, in Boiling Springs Township,
one mile from church and schools
No buildings. ^
50 acres, more or less, three buildings,
right at Cross Roads church and
school house. Practically all open.
' ' .* . /
I
100 acres sand land with clay subsoil,
one-half mile of Columbia-Lexngton
road, six miles from Columbia,.
25 acres cleared, balance in woods,
with running water. Lies well, no
waste land.
85 acres on Orangeburg road, five
miles from LexiRgton. Two-room
house, and good well of water; 25
acres in cultivation, balance in woods.
i the town of Lexington and
sted here. If you want to
al Estate and
it Company
1ENDRIX, V. -Pres. & Gen. Mgr.
[C. E. LEAPHART, Treasurer
'ON, S. C.
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