Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, December 28, 1876, Image 1

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f - ' . '2^ fort RO'STA.j-. Standard and Commercial. _ t ' ' V VOL. V. NO. 4. * BEAUFORT, S. C.. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1876. $2.00 per Am. Single Copy 5 Cents. Lost. Do, winds. blow fair! Ob. winds, blow free! Tbo port we eteer for is under our lee, And crisp waves curl on the dear green sea. Home from exile, dear love, we eail; Cor ship speeds forward with favoring gale? 8ee where the cliffs loom somber and pole. llunuiug so freely, our haven near, But iittie for tempest and storm we fear, A .d fife to each wa9 never so dear. Ah! Low weird is the seabird's ory. How mournful and shrill is the wild wind's sigh, While white waves glance from our bulwarks high! Stem the frown on tho skipper's face? The wind and the waves have risen apace, A ad across the sky the storm clouds race. Hard down the helm! The black rocks Bhow Where the reef runs out so narrow tDd low, Like jaws of hell 'raid the billowe' enow. Pnt her about! Too late, alas! The strong ship shivers like fragile glaes. A\ul hiding waves through her timbers pass. J Cling to me. love! My life for thine! l\ound your slender waist this stout cord Til twine, And so sh&li ycur fate be bound to mine. ? Trust to we, darling ! My strong hand Hhall tear yon nnli&rmcd to the storm ridged strand, . Nor shall loose its grasp til! we touch land. Bruised, vaVo beaten, we gained the bay : My life was left, but my one treasure Jay Lost, In my arms, for ever aud aye. j Mary Grey's Mother-in-Law. j A Christmas Story. i " bo your mother-in-law is coming to live with you," remarked -Mies Susan Skinner, contemptuously, giving her head a toss which set all the little pink bows on her cap a dancing. Pretty, plump, little Mrs. Grey opened her brown eyes in mild surprise at her visitor's tone. "Why. yes. Miss Susan, mother Grey's last child has married and moved away from her, aud now she isJfft quite < atone. Henry always was her favorite, i and 1, knowing it would please him, suggested that she should rent or sell i the farm; and make her home with us, and she has oonsentcd to do so." "Humph! all the more fool you I I You have got yourself into a pretty fix uow, Mary Grey. $ho will never leave i you a? long as she lives ; you can make i up your mind to that, and bid good-bye to peace for the rest of your days." ] "Why, Miss Susan," said Mrs. Grey, j regarding her old neighbor with sur- ! prise, "1 don't understand you. I am i sure I never want mother to leave us, ?ml as for ueaco, what difference can j her coming make ?" i V Oh, you'll see," replied Miss SusaD, ncxl iiug ber head wisely, while her i kuittiug needles kept time to her shrill j tones with a sharp ciiok-olick. " Ycu'il see ! You will repent of your bargain 1 before a month is over, mind what I tell you. Of all the mean, conniving, med- < dlesome women in the world, it is a i mother-in-law." . j Mrs. Grey began to feel a little J annoyed, "What do you know about < it?" she could not refrain from saying. " Humph ! you needn't twit me with i beiDg an old maid, Mary Grey ! I thank i my stars that I'm not tied to aDy man, ? nor what's worse, to any man's mother, i What do I know about mothers-in-law ? t More than I want to. goodness knows I Why, t here wa3 my cousin Lucie da, i who was obliged to leave her husband, 1 and go home to her father, just on ac ] count of her mother-in-law ; and Alice j Lawson, poor, little, weak creature, who used to live in this very house, was so I imposed upon and ill used by her hus- 1 band's mother, that they do say it killed i her; anyway, she died just three months after her mother-in-law came to live 1 with her. Why, I know of lots of snch i cases, and, if*a woman isn't awfully strong minded, her mother-in-law just ; runs iight over her and rules tho house, and, if she is strong minded, tliey are : continually jangling anct quarreung, so ' you see that, altogether, a woman's best ; way is to keep entirely away from her ' mother-lu-law." " Bat, Miss Susan, these are only ex- ! eeptional eases/'said Mrs. Grey; "I J am sure there are good and true women in the world belonging to this class." ] " Well, iM just like to see one of them, that's all! I see it's no use i arguing with you, Mary; you're too set in your own way; mark my words, my dear, you will rue the day you ever let I that womau come into your house," said i Miss Susan, in a tone of settled convict*Vn. "When do yon expect Mrs. . Grey V' she asked, rising, and folding < up her knitting work. " To-morrow evening." " So soon ? Well, I'm sure, I hope you will be able to get along with her," answered Miss Susan, with a little sympathetic sigh. "? - ' > --J I UIten iiunng me lfiuaujuct w ?u?i day inr^the next, Mrs. Grey found her pelf wcfndering what her husband's mother was like. He had always seemed so proud and fond of her, that she was predisposed to lctve her; to regard her with that reverence and affection which she bad cherished for her own dead mother. She thought how nice it would be to have some one to whom she could go with all her little troubles and anxieties, some one who would sympathize with and counsel her; and how pleasant it wonld be for Henry to have his mother always near him, where he could watch over ana care for her. They would make such a happy family; Henry and herself, grandma, and baby Harry. Then, in opposition to all these pleasant thoughts, would come up, in spite nW.mtr wftminffs and forft- I VI UCij liii3 gtwiuj bodiLgs which Miss Susan Skinner had uttered. Could Henry's mother be "mean, conniving, meddlesome," or disagreeable in any way ? No, a thousand limes no. And yet the sharply spoken words had left their sting, and she could not drive the memory of them v from her mind. \ VThen train time arrived, mamma anfl \ baby took their station at the window, to watch for "grandma." Soon the sound of wheels was heard, and Henry drove up to the door, and handed out a lady. "Mother, this is your daughter, Mary." Mary looked up, and met a pair of gentle blue eyes looking out wistfully from a kindly old face. "Mary, will you let me be your mother as weH as Henry's ?" asked the lady, holding oat her bands; and Mary answered, embracing her warmly : " Indeed, I will! Welcome home, mother." Miss Skinner, peeping from between her blinds across the street, saw the act and understood it. " Oh, that's all very tine," she muttered, contemptuously. "A new broom sweeps clean. Wait a few weeks, and then we shall see." It was two weeks before Christmas, and Mary was busy preparing for the holidays. One evening, after putting baby to bed, she ran down to the parlor to get her sewing, which she had left on the table before tea. The door did not open readily, and she tried it again, but found it was locked. She was sure she had heard Henry's and his mother's voice within, and thinking the door had become fastened accidentally, called out to Henry to open it. " Oh, is that you, Mary ?" he answered. " Run up stairs and get my cigar case, will you ?" Mary did so, and when she came down again, found the door open, rnd Henry sitting by the table reading. " Where is mother?" she asked. " Wasn't she up stairs with you?" replied Henry, keeping his eyes fixed on nis book. "Why, no; I thought she was here." "Weil, yon see you are mistaken, " he answered. Mary-did not reply, but took up her work and sewed away busily, her thoughts keeping time with her fingers. She was positively certain she had heard Mrs. Grey's voice in low toned conversation with Henry, and yet he had the same as denied her presence there. It was the first time he had ever equivocated to his wife, and 6he could not overlook it lightly without knowing the reason. Why had he done so? Was there anything secret between him and his mother from which she" was excluded, and if so, what could be the nature of it? Wf?ll. never mind: it might have been abont Mrs. Grey's affairs, and had notli- j ing to do with her; but then, why need j Henry have equivocated about the matter ? The little affair troubled her considerably, and her uneasiness was very much augmented a few days afterward. She was in the kitchen one morning, putting the finishing touches to the preparations for breakfast, when she heard Mrs. Grey and Henry enter the iinicg-room. 44 Are you sure Mary knows nothing about this matter ?" Henry was saying. 44 Yes, I am quite certain of it; and I think we have been so fortunate to keep it froru her. 44 Yes, it would never do for her to Snd it out now," Henry answered. Mary wanted to hear no more, but ran :>ut into the back hall and up stairs, whence she appeared in the dining-room is the breakfast bell rung, looking a ittle flushed and excited, but not i mough so to cause.comment. After breakfast Mrs. Gray went out to make some little purchases, and Mary rat down in her husband's big arm jhair in the sitting-room, and tried to reason herself out of her absurd fears tad suspicions. What was it that her husband and his mother were trying to keep from her ? Why did they treat her like a child, in her own house ? she thought indignantly ; it was shameful! Her meditations were interrupted by the entrance of Miss Susan Skinner, who 14 had run over to have a chat with her," is she said: 44Why, my dear!" she exclaimed at Brst sight of_Mary, 44 how poorly you ire looking! What is tiie matter*" "Nothing serious. I was very busy yesterday, and am a little tired." "Ah, one more in the family makes more work, I know. It won't do to wear yourself out this way; you must let your mother-in-law do her share of the work." "Ah, indeed she does," exclaimed Mary, quickly, " even more than I wish her to, sometimes.'' " Well, it seems to me she goes out more than you do." " And so she ought. I have Harry to claim my attention." " And she receives callers, too." " I think you must bo mistaken, Miss Sasan. She has made no acquaintances since coming here." "But I certainly saw a gentleman come here, two days ago, when you were down town"' "A gentleman 1" " i'es, and she jnet him at the door herself. Mr. Grey oame home in about half an hour and took him away with him." " Ob, it was probably some friend of Henry's." " Perhaps so," replied Miss Susan, doubtingly. She soon took her departure, leaviEg Mrs. Grey's mind in a very troubled state. In vain did she try to reason with herself; to persuade herself that all this was no concern of hers, it should not trouble her; still she could not help con A- r/Auflomcn unfli neCHDg tUO YiCiilJ U1 lUi9 ^CUUU Aunu n^vu the mysterious private conversations. Why was she not thought worthy their confidence ? Why all this secret plotting and schemiug ? In spite of herself, all Miss Skinner's warnings of a few weeks before came back to her mind with redoubled force, until she could have wished herself deaf before ever listening to that hateful woman. Suspect her husband's mother, that sweet, gentle faced woman, of any treason toward her! No, indeed, she would not! Still ahnost daily Mary found herself interrupting stolen conversations, and stumbling upon evidences of the secret J an I add to this Miss Skinner's almopdaily " chats" with her, which a1**?8 left her feeling nucomiojiaWr with the world in general and ho?*i&tljer-in-law in particular, no won^? *kat sk? 8reW 4 thin and pale, and lost her appetite. Mr. Grey and his mother wondered at it and tried in vain to raise her spirits. Her husband took her out driving daily. The day before Christmas came. Mary pleaded that she was too busy when the time for her drive came; but Henry would not listen to it, and she put on her wraps and went. The air was clear and keen, lind Mary.felt much refreshed and invigorated when at last they drew up before the door. " Eun up stairs and take your wraps off, Mary, and then come right down; I want to show you something," said Henry, as h9 helped her out of the sleigh. When she came down stairs, he was waiting in the hall; and, drawing her hand through his arm, conducted her to the parlor. * " What is it you wish me to see, Henry ?" she asked, a3 they entered the room. " Find out for yourself," he answered, playfully. She raised her eyes, and then gave a shrill scream of delight, and, with a bound, was across the room, standing beside a superb pianoforte. " Oh, Henry, where did this come from ? What a perfect beauty ! Is it really for rne ? Oh, how can I ever thank you ?" " One question at a time, my dear; but I will answer your last one first. You have no right to thank me for this Christmas present. Here is the giver," replied Henry, going up to his mother, who had stood a quiet spectator of Mary's pleasure, and putting his arm around her. " Mother I is it possible ! Oh, you darling? how can I ever thank you?" cried Mary, throwing her arms, too, around Mrs. Grey, and giving her a rapturous hug. "I am well surrounded, I see," said she, smiling on them proudly. " I am glad you are pleased with your piano, Mary, and you shall repay me by getting all the enjoyment from it that you can." " It is something I have wanted ever since we were married," said Mary, " but Henry could not quite afford i.t."g " And now you have your heart's desire," said Henry, " but at the expense of a little sinning, I am afraid. Do you remember one evening, about two weeks aaro. when vou found the parlor door locked ? Mother and I were koldiDg a consultation when yon came, and I sent you after the cigar case to give her time to run away. I came very near telling a fib that night." "Yes," said his mother, "such planning and plotting as we have had. The other day, when the man came to make the final arrangements about bringicg the piano, you were down towD, and I was so afraid you would return unexpectedly; and this afternoon they came and put it up while you were out driving; but I knew Henry would not bring you home too soon." Mary felt herself turning sick and faint. This, then, was the secret which had tormented her so; these innocent plots and plans prompted by loving hearts! What a monster she was to have suspected this noble woman of any wrong ! She felt like humbling herself in the dust before her. "How white you are, child! The excitement has been too much for you," said Mrs. Grey. But Mary knew better. Still, she kept her secret locked in her own breast; not by a word would she let this gentle woman know how she bad been tempted to doubt her. Mary has gradually dropped Miss Susan Skinner's acquaintance, and that worthy spinster often complains how "dreadfully uppish some folks have grown;" but Mary is only too glad to be able to keep out of the reach of her tongue; and finds her greatest comfort and delight in the society of her motherin-law, than whom she thinks there is no better woman on earth. The Wheel ol Fortune. Those in this country engaged in trade and commerce, says the New York &un, aro liable at any moment to be overwhelmed by financial panics, political disturbances, and other causesagainst which no human foresight can provide. The millionaire of to-day becomes the bankrupt of to morrow. We have had notable instances of reverses of fortune among the rich men of this city, the most recent and the most notable being that of Mr. Edward Matthews, the great real estate owner. Mr. Matthews owned buildings in the heart of the down town business portion of the city, renting hundreds of offices and stores in Broadway, Bond street, Wall street, ;md Exchange place, all at high rates. It is said his income from real estate alone, in ten years, be- i ginning with 1863, amounted to over 88,000,000. Mr. Matthews became involved, and his creditors are, as we understand, now seeking to throw him into bankruptcy. For many years Mr. Matthews, his house on Fifth 'avenue, near Eighteenth street, his choice col- t lection of pictures by modern masters and his faultless equipages, have bep much talked of in fashionable circsia this city. At one time nobody ?rncd out a better appointed four-in haf d than Edward Matthews. Now he h in very serious difficulty. On the tweatiethof October 1 ist ho conveyed all *hs roal estate to his son, J. Brander tlatthows, for a j consideration of $50,003 It is charged j that this conveyance which transfers j property valued at over $3,000,000 even ] in these times, is assailable. Certainly j in this case the wheel of forinne made , a sadden and disastrous turn for a gen* ?lir I tlemau who-eo long naa cstru tumug m i wealth. / . Another painfal c*se is that of the venerable Daniel Drew, who, at one time, and that/dot so long ago, threw about his miVions in Wr.ll street with the best of>fiem. He could at any tinio during tid successive years have retired to* the street worth 85,000,000, but V? ventured once too often, and is DoX utterly bankrupt of his houses oda lots, his farms, his bonds and stocks; I 'they have all passed into other hands. Mr. j Drew's case i3 a particularly ^bad one. He finds himself stripped of worldly ; possessions at an age when ho can no j longer hope to retrieve his fallen j fortunes. [ THE CHRISTMAS DINNER. How to Prepare It. Oyster Sauce.?Parboil the oyjters in their own liquor, beard them and reserve all the liquor. Melt a piece of batter in a saucepan, add a little flour, the oyster liquor, and enough milk to make as much sauce as is wanted. Put in a blade of mace and a bay leaf tied together, pepper and salt to tasto, add the leastbit of cayenne. Let the since boil, add the oysters, and as soon as they are quite hot remove the mace and j bay leaf, stir in a few drops of lemon I juice and serve. Roast Turkey.?Pluck, singe, draw, wipe thoroughly and trusa a fine turkey, stuff it with plain forcemeat, paok it up in some thin slices of fat bacon, and over that a sheet of buttered paper; put in a hot oven, basting frequently with butter, A quarter of an hour before it is done, remove the paper and slices of bacon. Sprinkle with salt just before serving. Garnish with pork sausages, and serve with a tureen of gravy. Time of roasting two to three hours, according to size. Gravy.?Mince an onion finely, fry it in butter to a dark brown, then add three-quarters of a pint of good stock, pepper and salt to taste, a small piece of ham minced finely, a sprig of thyme, one of parsley, and a little Worcester sauce; let the whole boil five or ten minutes, put it by till wanted, then strain it into a sauce boat. Truffle and Chestnut Stuffing.? Mince one pound of iat bacon and a couple of shallots, give them a turn on the stove in a saucepan; then put in one pound of chestnuts, boiled and peeled, and one-half pound of truffles, both cut up in moderate sized pieces; add pepper, salt and spices to taste; also a little powdered thyme and majoram. Give the mixture another turn or two on the fire, and it is ready. Horseradish Sauce.?Grate a quantity of horseradish, add a pinch of salt and two or three tablespoonfuls of vinegar, then stir in a gill of cream beaten up with the yolk of an egg. Plain Boiled Potatoes.?Peel the potatoes, pack them in a saucepan, and fill it up with cold water, add salt to taste; let them boil half an hour, then drain off the water, cover the saucepan with a cloth dipped in hot water, and folded up, and set the saucepan by the side of the fire. Christmas MiNCEMEAr.-Three pounds of rib roast beef, five pounds of apples, one pound cf fresh beef suet, two pounds of raisins, stoned, one pound whole, two pounds and a half of currants, half a pound of mixed candied peel, the grated rind of three fresh lemons, the juice of two, two pounds of sugar, two nutmegs, dessertspoonful of mace, one of cinnamon, one of allspice, one of ginger, one of salt, a fruit syrup, and a pint of golden syrup boiled in two quarts of cider until reduced one-fourth, and then poured over the whole. Of -- A _ 1 course the ingredients are separately prepared, and afterward thoroughly mixed. Plum Pudding.?Weigh out two pounds of the best beef suet chopped as finely as possible, and one and a half pounds of bread crumbs?made by rubbing pieces of stale household bread through a wire sieve; put these with half a pound of flour, into a large bowl, and work them well with the hand uutil perfectly mixed. Pick some currants and stone some raisins with the greatest care. Take two pounds of each and mix them into the bowl, then take one half pound of mixed peel, chop it up small and mix it with the rest; lastly mix in one and a half pounds of brown sugar. Continue working the mixture with the hand for some minutes, and put it by. Put fourteen fresh eggs in a bowl (breaking each into a cup first to ascertain that it is fresh and to remove the speck), add to them grated nutmeg, powdered ginger, and powdered allspice, accordiug to taste, and a large pinch of salt; then stir in a quart of milk; beat all up together, and pour it gradually into the other bowl, working the whole mixture with the hand for some 1 time. Continue to work it with a wooden spoon for at least half an hor*. Scald two pudding cloths, spread <ach in a bowl and dredge them we'*' with ' flour. Divide the composition *ito two equal parts, put each in its clo^t and tie up tightly. To boil the pudding place two inverted plates in saucepans filled with water, and when t^e water boils J fast put each pudding &to its saucepan. < Let them boil four *ours, keeping the < saucepans full by adding more water as < it is required, avd taking care that it 1 never ceases baling. Then take the < puddings out. and hang them up till the { noxt day, wten the cloth of each pud- 1 ding shouU bo tightened and tied afresh, 1 and an hour's boiling as iu the first in- 1 stance *ill make them ready for table, i a u-bh a sDrie' of holly stuck on the 1 4T u top and plenty of rich liquid sauce. The Happy Time, The Rev. Adirondack Murray declares that the religion of the future will be Christianity, but improved. " My friends," he said, in a recent sermon, "I behold in vision the light of that sublime age; I catch a glimpse of that far off but happy time. I see the people of the earth living in gladness and peace. I see them beating their swords into p'owshares and their spears into pruning hooks. The desert blossoms as the rose ; instead of the thorn is the fir , tree; in place of the briar stands the ] myrtle; the mountains and hills break , forth into singing ; the trees clap their j hands; violence is not heard; wasting and . destiuction are not within its borders. , The sun goes not dowD, and the moon withdraws not herself, lor tne juoru is their light, and the days of man's mourning are ended forever." The Christians who live in that happy time will have no desire^ go to heaven. Taken.?Scene in a debating society: President?" We will tafce the ayes and noes on tj^previous qutetion." Member?41 Alyd or two, Mr. President?: Friends, Remans, countrymen! lend me yoar ears." President?" Order, sir! We will take the eyes and nose first." The Yew York Clerk, Young men in the country imagine that if they could only manage to get a clerkship in New York, or some other large city, their fortunes would be made. The New York clerk does not have so feat :ery a bed to lie in as many imagine. A correspondent writing on the subject says. Take, for instance, the dry goods clerks on Broadway. Some ?f the establishments like Stewart's, Lord k Tajlor's. JatTray's, etc., have as many as two hundred clerks in their employ. They are expected to dress well, to keep up with the fashions, so as to be in keeping with the general style of things about them. They must be at business promptly at eight in the morning, a strict account beiDg kept of any failure to do so, which is reported by the head of the department to the general manager. All the day long they are kept on their feet, under watchful eyes, and with* a multitude of details to attend to; and at noon they must hurry out for a hasty lunch and be back as scon as possible, flying the day through until seven or eight o'clock at night. In the busy season they are liable to be worked until eleven or twelve o'clock at night; and in the dull seasons, which come on the city 4L/\*? Inel- ac KoKln fa Olieil CUUUgU, kUOJ aiD J uou ao luauiu tu be discharged at a v^pek's notice, even thongh they have been years in the house, and been faithful in every way, and all this for from $8 to $15 per week. The head bookkeeper of a prominent Broadway honse gets a salary of thir- j teen thoueand dollars, while under him are no less than six meD, having the brunt of the work to do, who are paid three dollars a day. There are men in other houses who enjoy princely incomes, because they have drawn one of the prizes of trade; they have a trade of their own which briDgs in large sums to their employer; they are paid for their work with unstinted hand. But all around them are men without this special advantage, though competent, who are barely getting a living. A large tea house that employs sixty clerks has only five who receive over $10 per week. How city clerks live !?considering the meager condition of the salary market. Living any way, in New York, is expensive, as living in a great city always is. Ten, fifteen, twenty dollars a week in some places gives a man all the comforts of modest expectation; nay, often gives one a trifle for the saving fund, or the luxurious. Not so here. Decent board will range up to ten and fifteen dollars; decent board?which means a narrow, close room, clean food ?very plaii^-and nothing more. And then you come down peg by peg to the horrors and misery and slack and discomfort of New York boarding house life?the cheapest and meanest being five and six dollars a week. Clerks pack themselves away in these holes, making them just sleeping and eating places, cast out from all amusement and society upon thotown; or else they hire lodgings in some obscure quarter, and "live by the card" of cheap eating houses. They make all sorts of shifts to keep stylishly clothed. To Distinguish Cotton from Wool. Rivel out the suspected cotton fiber from the wool and apply flame. The ootton will burn with a flash, the wool, will curl up, carbonize, and emit a burnt, disagreeable smell. Even to the naked eye the cotton is noticeably different from the filaments of wool, and under the magnifier this difference co^es out strongly. The cotton is a flattened, more or less twisted band, havkig a very striking resemblance to hair, which, ip reality, it is; since in tke condition of elongated cells, it lines the inner surface of the pod. The wool may be recognized at once by the zigzag transverse markings on its fiirers. The surface of wool is covered rfith these furrowed and twisted fine cross lines, or which there are 2,000 to 4,000 in an inch. On this structure depends its felting property. Finally, a simple and very striking chemicd test may be applied. The mixe<? goods are unraveled, a little of the cotton fiber put into one dish and the woolen in another, and a drop of strong nitric acid added. The ootton will be little or not at all affected; the wool, on the contrary, will be changed to a bright yellow. The color is due to the development 01 a picraie. The Russian Loan. The suoc638 of the new popular loan | in Russia has been such as to give the | 3zar full assurance that, in case of I emergency, he can raise a large amount j of money from his own subjects bofore | ?oing abroad to borrow. The Russian j ozar has baen so long in the habit of resorting to the money markets of western I Europe when the lnnds were required that most people had supposed he would foe helpless in case these were closed against him. But, during the last twenty years, and especially since the omancipation of the serfs, the financial resources, as well as the military power, of the Russian empire have undergone r great development; and we have no qo doubt that, as the czar has raised his hundred million rubles at once in two of his cities, he could raise ten times as much on short notice in his empire at I large. The success of the present loan j must give the Russians a new sense of i financial independence. I Let Drown Walk. A gentleman was very much annoyed J it night by a person who was walking j heavily in the room above and nnable to j bleep; ho ascended to the room to ascer- j tain the cause, and found a man walking j up and down, apparently in great dis-! tress. His sympathy induced him to j inquire the cause. At fu\st he could i get no response, and the man, with his j hair in his hands, still continued to * pace the floor. At last, induced by the kindly tone of his visitor, he stated the ! cause of his great anguish. " I owe my [ friend Brown 8500, which I am utterly | nnable to pay." " My friend," said the gentleman, "I can give you edvico which will relieve your distress." j " What is it?" anxiously inquired the j distressed individual. "You have walk-! ed far enough," replied the gentleman. j " My advice to you is to go comfortably ! to bed, and let Brown walk awhile." * ? Leave it to the Coys. We desire to call the attention of Mrs. Stanton and Miss Anthony to the degenerate and pusillanimons fashion in which young girls run away from their homes; for until something be done to give these young adventurers, presumably the boldest and most resolute of the sex, more hardihood and enterprise than they have commonly shown, we shall hardly modify our views in regard to the inadvisabiiity of granting female suffrage. A girl gets indignant with her father because he refuses to buy her a new dress or a pair of earrings, puts on her bonnet and leaves the paternal mansion in a pet. She disappears for the space of twenty-four hours, her parents are in agony, detectives are set to work to look for her, and coroners go to dragging the adjacent waters. In the middle of the commotion a joyous dispatch arrives from some maiden aunt in a distant part of the city or some cousin m a neighboring town, with whom the wanderer has taken refuge. The truant damsel returns delighted to a delighted household and gets all the earrings and dress patterns she wants. This is ordi| narily the end of a girl's runaway, and when the story is varied, as it sometimes is, by the rum of the truant, her destruction is commonly due to her -willingness to sacrifice herself for a place of refuge. There have been several escapades on the part of young girls in New York lately, all of which have terminated happily, and all of which go to establish this fact, that girls should not run away from home, for the simple reason that they don't know how to do it with any credit to themselves. Nature never intended them for runaways. Their style of dress is not adapted for running away. Their hearts are too tender to bid an eternal farewell to home in anger. They can't hire a hack or buy a railroad ticket without exciting suspicion. They can't sleep out under a haystack; thev can't make a living by hiring out to drive mules on the canal. In fact they are incapable of doing anything that befits a decent runaway. They were designed for the domestic circle, and ought tu stay there. It is their kingdom, where with due discretion they can rule absolutely. To run away is simply to abandon their crown, as King James did, and a restoration is their only chance for power and happiness. Look how neatly and effectively a boy runs away. He has vague longings for hunting buffalo on the Western frontier, or fighting Indians, or sailing round Cape Horn. When his mother misses him some fine morning there is little anxiety about any bodily harm coming to him, but a dread settles over the family that he may not bo back for years. Theie is no need to search among country cousins for the wanderer; no use in hunting about the byways of tho city; the vigilabt detective watches the whale ship3 bouud for the Northern Pacific or the traders sailing to China or Japan; he looks after traveling circuses and makes inquiries concerning all red haired, blue eyed, snub nosed boys on tbeir way westward by the towpath of fhe Erie canal, or stealing rides ou the freight trains of the Central railroad. He settles to his wora seriouslv ? ^ 1? t l. _ 1 Ui1~ I AHA suiemmy, ivr ua jwuwb iuui wmic the finding of a runaway girl ia a ques, tion of a few hours, the finding of a runaway boy is a matter of months or even years. The boy can walk along the country roads or catch rides on farmers' wagons; he can black boots, sell papers, run errands, and help himself in a hundred ways. The spirit of adventure sustains him and he fightshis way along cheerfully, the buffets of the world doing him no incurable damage. If any member of the human family was designed for running away, he oertainly is that member. The girls should ) ecognize this faot and leave the boys a monopoly of the business, even if they do in this way supply an inferential argument against female suffrage.? World. A New Way to Sell Cows. An exchange says that a new dodge for swindling farmers has just been put in operation. Several strange men drive into an agricultural district. They stop at all the farmhouses, and make a contract to take all the butter the fanners c <n furnish at fifty cents a pound. Farther, it will be gathered up by a fast sppcial team, and the caah paid for it at the door. The pretense is that during , ^a11 n-r\ A vmnfsv* fVin lovrrn nifioa tin 11 1/liU ittll UUU rrilllaji VU^ vivavu n?*? be crowded, and that butter will be scarce. In this way all the farmers in a district are contracted with, and arrangements are made to come for the Cutter on certain day3 and at certain points; the contract to go into effect in two i weeks. A few days after the departure of the men a drove of cows come along. They are fine looking milch cows. The farmers, having a good thing in view, think they might uso a few more cows. They try to boy them, but the drover doesn't seem anxious to sell. Finally, however, he is induced to sell two or three to each farmer, and at prices considerably higher tlnn the real market value. Ee then deoart3, meets his partners, who put up the butter job, and they divide their profits. The farmers of this vicinity will do well to be on their gnard against this new style of sharpers. <. I His Story. He came back to his mother, looking J very forlorn, with a big red swelling ( under his left eye, and four or five handfuls of torn shirt boiling over his breeches band. "Why, where on earth have you been?" she asked. " Mo and Johnny's been playin'. He played he was a pirate, and I played I was a duke. Then he put on airs, and I got mad, and"? "Yes, yes!" interrupted his mother, her eyes flashing, " and yon didn't flinch?"" " No, mother; but the , pirate licked." Withdrawing Theib Bets.?Betting men in New York who made wagers on 1 the general result of the President al 1 contest are withdrawing their money, i both sides consenting. One reason for i this is the fear that the money wiil be seized for the charities of the State. Under the laws the authorities have a , right to f-eize all gambling money for this object. Items of Interest. A glove dealer is doing a good business when a large part of his stock is on hand. Steve Kirksev, of Mayfield, Ky., put a package of gunpowder on a hot anvil. He is bald headed now. It is asserted that a snake with a fin nas been captored in Maine. Even the snake stories are becoming fishy. Potato bugs, chinch bugs, curcuUoe, weevils, Hessian flies, grasshoppers, cutworms, etc., are the insect depredators which afflict and d sconrage West-" ern farmers. A boy who keeps hiti honor bright, however poor he may be in worldly things, is an heir to an inheritance which no riches can buy?the choice promises of God. Tii Pnofli*. ilm-ino fcViA r>r>lrl vin^AI1. if A window in a crowded ballroom be suddenly opened, sudden condensation of the atmosphere takes place, and a fall of snow follows, covering the dancers with flakes. A gentleman, on walking oat one Sanday evening, met a young Scotch Eeasant girl, whose parents lived near is house. " Where are von going, Jenny?" said he. "Looking for a sonin-law for my mother, sir." A Canadian farmer missed a valuable heifer, and, after several days' unavail ing search, foand that she bad eaten her way thirty feet into a straw stack. She had taken a winding course inside the stack, which acoounts for her not having eaten her way through. John Kelly, chief of the Tammany Society of New York, war) married to Miss Teresa Mullen, a niece of Cardinal McCloskey. Mr. Kelly is fifty years of age and his bride twenl;y-six. The parties were married by the cardinal at his residence, with the simplest forms of the Roman church. The mail from Cowra to Forbes, in Australia, is carried by a mounted carrier, The distance between the tw* places is sixty miles, and thisonenndividual has ridden the route six times a week during seven consecutive years. The distance be has ridden in that period is 131,160 miles. As to Dr. Donghty'n personal appearance, much depends on Tilden's being inaugurated. D/. Doughty lives in Covington, Ky? hnd .sixteen years ago he vowed that he would wear the hat that he was theu using until a Democratic President was sworn in. The old hat is exceedingly dilapidated. The Engineer gives instances of the highest railway speed on record. On several of the English railwaye a speed has been reached equal to seventyeight, seventy-five, seventy-two and sixty-nine miles an honrs. If somebody would give statistics of the safest railways, it would be interesting. The lowest temperature in the Arctic seas recorded by Capt. Ross, iu 1820, was fifty deg. below zero ; by Dr. Kane in 1858, seventy deg. ; by Dr. Hayes in 1861, sixty-eight and one-half deg. by Capt. Nares in 1876, seventy-tiwo aeg. A Russian traveler named Niveroff once registered seventy-two deg. at Yakoutsk, Siberia. By statistics it is shown that within the limits of the island of Java every year about three hundred people are eaten by carnivbra, two hundred by the crocodiles, ono hundred killed by the rhinoceros, five hundred killed by lightning, while one hundred die by snake bites, and a varying number by earth quakes and volcanic action. A man rushed into a restaurant and, flopping into a chair, called for " calf's head soup." "Calf said what, sir?" inquired the waiter. " Calf's head soup!" roared the impatient guest Admonished by the wrathful tone, the waiter moved away, but paused to in3aire, as a kind of appendix : " You idn't hear him sav what kind of soup, sir?" A hotel proprietor at Morecambe, England, was arrested lately for allowing billiards to be played '* for money's worth " on his premises. It turned out that a handicap game had been played by twelve persons for a copper kettle as a prize. The court decided that as it was a novel case the landlord should merely be fined Ss. besides 15s. 6d. costs. 4 A method of defense against wild beasts has been discovered. One Mr. Jes<>e Smith, of Texas, was walking with his wife one evening, when suddenly a bear crossed their path. Being unarmed, Smith was for a moment pnzzled. Then seizing a handful of theu sandy soil, he threw it bruin's face. The^ bear recoiled, and, on a repetition of the p " 1 ?- x.Mnallad frt MfrABf. experiment-, was uuwj-cu<,u w The dairy farmers of England are an important class of the community. Tho returns of last year show that in England alone there were 1,600,000 miloh cows, of which r.nmber it wascalculated 1,200,000 were in the Lands of 50,000 persons. The value of the milk 'produced by these cows, putting the price at sixpence per imperial gallon, and estimating that each cow yields four hundred gallons a year, would amount to twelve millions sterling. Business Preeepls. We find it st ibid that the founder of the great banking house of Rothschilds made the following rules the guide of a business career culminating in magnifl cent success: 1. Combination of three profits. " I ma le tho manufacturer my customer, and the one l rx>ngnc 01, my customer; that i?, I supplied tlie manufacturer with raw materials and dyes, on each of which I made a profit, and took bis manufactured goods, which I sold at a profit, :?nd thus combined three profits." 2. Muko a bargain at once; Be an off-handed man. 8. Never have anything to do with an unlucky man or plaos. "I have-seen many clever men who Infra not ahoes to their feet. X never tot with them. Their advioe seems very well, but fate is against them; they cannot get on them- J selves, how can they do good to me?" 4. Be cautious t>nd bold. "It requires a great deal cf boldness and ^ great deal of oration to mako a grew fortune, and when yen have got.jHfcwT quires ten times as mnchj^ceep it * '