i eaoli insertion.
! Marriage notices inserttV ! .
TERMS OF SUBSCRTPTIOX. ;__ ... -- --_ - | ohiinario* oner U* Ur.es oi for ut
One copy one vear 51.50 j { regular advertising rates.
> - *! VOL XIX LEXINGTON, S. C., WEDNESDAY, JANUAKY 9, 1889. NO. 7. !
" ** three months 50 V V'-H j? x. \. *. x. a. o x-*?I-J-' 7 7 - . Eiiitor anil Proprietor.
ulJ_1JMIlianMMH--???????? rmniMi Hirmnn-r?Ti-r na.._jojuu..u-iuijjiij?Mt?a?r"1" " "
GOOD NEWS!
The Woolen Mills Have
Reduced their TarifS'
on my Clothing Rills.
P ' H
lj- I
pgr? JJ.
v
m it as just returned from all the Northern
r markets with the latest selection of
f: j
CIIOICK CliOTHlSii'
Pt ' * t*
to suit everybody in Lexington county;
old- and young, rich and floor; for |
> Children, School Bovs, Youths' and
Men's Suits, in great variety of stvles
~ * *
and qualities, which cannot Ik; excelled .
by any house in this city. I am willing
work for low wages and small profits.
1 took advantage of my second purchase
this season by going to the
Northern markets late, in order to secure
bargains to meet the liard times.
IT
I bought the goods for cash, so it eno
o
ables ne to sell it at a close margin
to the consumer.
Come one, come all. and examine
my large stock of lied, flannel and
AVhitc Flannel. Camel Hair Cnderwear
for Men and liovs at such low
TvrIf/>? tloi if will astonish the greatest
t" ?- - ?
economist that ever wore a Hat on his
head, which article yon will lind in my
store in great profusion. Likewise
the
L OVERCOATS and NECKWEAR,
which I guarantee the purchaser not to
Be sure io call, under Columbia
^ Hotel,
I 150 Main Street, COLUMBIA, S. C.
^ Li. EPSTm.
Sept. 7-tf
. THE MOST POPULAR
?AND?
mm MlCHIKES.
?ARE AT M.
A.MALON E'S.
Superior goods from factories of largest
productions, with immense capital am!
greatest reputation.
I', yon want a Mew Piano at $250. $:hto.
$350, $400, $450 to $000, I an supply yon.
I take second-hand Pianos in pari pavim nt
for new ones, giving me a stock <>1 secondhand
Pianos which I can sell cheap.
If you want Parlor Organs at $55, si'.,
$75, $85, $100 and upwards. 1 can ncc.nn^
xnmiato you.
' If yon want an Organ for church or Sabbath-school
at $05, $80, $s7. $03 Sloo.
.$125 to $2CO, will procure one. Special
discounts to churches and ministers.
TThe favorites, v?/: Easy running NewHome
and Domestic, also Whit#1 J>;tv:s
Sewing Machines, ('an supply machine
from $3(1 to $60, all warranted, ('an mi;ply
you with needles, parts attachments or
oil for all makes of inaohihes.
I have the l>est equiped Music ifou?* in
this section of the State, and defy comp<-Itition,
qualit}' considered. <'.xll on me l??r
terms, etc.
? Office, Post Office P.lock,
Pt'2 Main Street,
COLUMBIA, S. ('.
iVI.A. MALONE, Proprietor.
* 3 uce 20?6m
v L
' V ? : . > it i . s .
di*. talmagl-j Discourse ron the 1
new ye ag.
J
j
IIo lias UorJ to >:;v tt? Whether j
Hi :< - !-. ProiiL;'>!. - <i?kIIi:sv-.s
I-. i?>r t!io ?i t is Also
II Ol'llliJ'.
Hgooklyn, Jan. (>. -At the Ta!>- !
ernaclo today the I-lev. T. i>o Witt j
Talt:>:y;\'\ !). I>.. preached a discourse
On the subject, "I\x-s jjoii;;ion I\ty?"'
The opening hymn \v;'>
?!y days giu gliding swiftly tn*.
riigriri st:\*jng:T.
->" as. . j !'<
:al .vmy p.va;i.y*^J. j
the lilethat nrtw i-Jphd of Ttau vr4?jai j
is ( > conja."?i YHa.-ihy ic. S. " Pr. \
Talui^^e said:
A iiapoy Now Voar to < mo and a!!! ;
Tlie;*e is a gloomy and passive way :
of wnithiy for the events of i!: opening"
year to come n;x>n as, end there j
v-.>v ,.f ,vnisue rr, O t > imcoI
theui. strong in Cod and 1%*:>.j :n?_r nothing.
When the body of Cali.ine v.us ;
.found on tljo I?;ttt"11.-'d it u "s i'ouml j
fur in advance, of ail hi - troops. a:id j
among t hoVnemy. a:*! the best way
is'not us !.> ho <!ou <i and let the
i events of lib' tits*:?{?U? over us, l?ut Jo
go forth in a Christian spirit deier- ;
SHHet! to compter.
T'nc papers wore intuit* out, am! sutne
of you have just ontetv ! ini. > on. inc .s :
.pa: ino;sd:si nth :w m' \ mi lane
higher positions :n flu* cunmuuv-al
t?i?ishmvnt whore yon were < ugnged.
ancd-others have entered upon ir.-w eurterprises.
and there w -> > !. t wad: in
these cities tan thousand bush !
changes. You tuv expecting pros j
parity, and i am determined. so far a.s i
1 h:f\v anything to do with i(. that j
you shall not ha disufm. inti d. and
therefore i propos-a, tis Cod may. help
iue this morning, to project upon
yomv attention a new uiomenl *>i"
success. V >u v. ill have i.i the lutsi j
ness firm. frugality, pati: nv, it.aias
try, pca sa vera nee. economy - a. very j
strong business iirut, hut there needs j
to be o:aa member add .!. mightier !
than them ::>K auul not a dent part
iier either-t be one introduced by my j
text: ''Godliness which is profitable,]
unto all tilings, having the p-omise of j
the life that now is as well us of thai i
which is to come." gj
too Mfcti l :m: v in latt pay iik-^f
j.miox.
i suppose you are all willing to i
admit that goutiness is important in j
its eternal relations; hut perhaps some '
/>f \'.?u nl -v- "All i want is an onnor
tunity to suy a | >).;yer i-efoiv 1 die. i
and all will be well.*' 'iiicsv arc a
great many people who suppose 11?:?J
if they van iinaliy got safely out of j
this World into a h tier "world. they j
will have exhausted the entire advnn- i
tuyn of our holy reliyicm. Tlyy talk j
as though religion wore a meiv j:ud of
recognition which we arc to give to ;
the Lord dosus on our way u;i to a ,
heavenly mansion; as (hough iiVeiv j
an admission th-kct. of no use except to !
give iii ;it the door of heaven. vAwk
ihetv are thousands of p - ; ie Twko i
have great admiration for a reiigioXi of j
the shroud, and a v- iigion of the
cofl'm, and a religion of the hears*/, and j
a religionofthceemclory, who haveno i
appreciation of a religion for thy bank, j
for the irm, for the factory, for tlte !
warehouse. forihe jeweler's aitop, for !
the Looker's o-'.h-e. Nov.*. while 1 j
would not tli.rov. any she* en a rest
mortem < iigioe I want thi; morning, ;
and on the tirs- k'nbbath of the new i
year, locale /.can oast', mortem relig- j
ion. A leii jon that i ; of no us? to ;
you v. hue y-u live, will i e of no use i
to you wis n you me. "(dcdliuess is ;
j)r? 'iii i0 1C 51: ! t?' *t 1 til . . 1' -1\ ?!:t i! C i
promise of !.jc that now is as well j
as of that v. hi-/': is {o come.'' And 1 j
have always noti? ; .! th't when the j
grace is very low in a men's heart he
talks a ;v-\-it <lc :i in p:: yr meetilifts j
about deaths, and about colli ns, and
:ibou! ' !':tV( and aiivJUl churchyards. I
i nave noticed that the i: buy Chris- I
lien, the man who is Six ing near to :
(.Toil, and is en !he straight road to
le aveu. is f :!! of j ibiianl : hi faction,
and kdks a' out the did: ,,f this life,
understanding well thai if (iod helps
him to Jive right he v. ill h. dp him to |
die ri !:t.
Nov;, in the lir-t place, i remark !
that godliness is good for a man's j
physical health, j do oof. mean to. j
say th- ' if v-ill rest we a broken down '
consiiiati -a. or drive rheumatism j
from the limbs, or i-euralyia from the :
temples, or nleurisv frost fho aide; but j
I do mean to say i t il : rives one such
habits and ; s o.e.e in ; '!} com! is ion
as is most. fovomH; for physical ;
health, Thai I beia ve, and it sat 1 !
avow. \ \ anov.vs i."<t buoy- j
ancy of snad. is ; >> ;.! physical sal- i
vantage. nnrssi, dejection j
are at war i " ?? every pit!: a: ion of ins '
heart, and wiih eve-y respiration of 1
the lungs. it i.o.vc.s the vitality. ;
it slack: as u;e <-i:vitiafion. while |
eaisila;-;ai'>a of s;?i: it poms the '
vriy h.lhli :f heaven t:! I'OUgll |
nil the e--rrents of life. The sense ;
of i%<rnivy v. h;ei; s naehovers
over a iinregen men, t ** pounces .
upon itiai with the blast of t.-a i
thousand jra-irp.e-; >;' ?n\ is i
most (.'.spiel:!. ; and most . iliaiisiinir.
win's tise feeling t!:.;i :dl filings I
worxiag to. " a : !.>: I n;>?.,
a tit! for ray < ee: k. : :n ; v. r. is ?
cor.iye t p ? " 1- :T '
Von \vi!i ohr . r\a that a--'.illness induces
industry. v. Ij?Jh is li:-'founds- J
1?.?!I of {.a-oa I.e.?] ::. is no i.e.,
of IIypeiie Ih .1 \ ' i 1 he. a :? 1:::
w*!!. i'isw . -.v will stab mm. erysijH
.'.us will I?ii;*i? him. i nindi-.v i!! dir.- j
<polor lriin. ; '< ist vvili cripple tii a. anil t
tiro i-a -lii;;- i t. physirhu v. ill Hot j
preseri. uati-rptic. or is' .'r.iiv.
or c:*u>'.iyn.\ i . . ::: ;i
uiers ami \ a: asia-hs ;? j :
pli'kilXtS. j . !'i I: ? ' i !!'!!!n? .ss
j^oot! physical coiuliho ) v. i;|;<>si- .
tive ?VO!" : ?;f i'.clii;? K lis* t: :". :> Vii'i
should s'i.'Cj)j ? s.. m. ?s- rule j
in < of : >i ! ! i?j-' n-rv, or I
have o;i .-our l.i!;!-.' ; i i' injuries
tl-al V.?l?: pOMlvtl v :
of Xspshju, (h;r K-ii- j
glOU says: : Av. s . i. . IKIUU! i
away to i1 ;nv;!y f<> j
is : ':' ?j;! ; v..: \ ! i !' 1 4
sosaethiiipf i!i v. ii! < nli> ' ; dl fhci nor
i s <?i VOl'J' . 5 i:! i (I ;: I i * I So;!!.
"! >; ii* ! MINI; i'S. U> iii Spirit,
serving the J. ..'til- upon ?!<<; j
h;:|v <,f i!i< r {];. die:.Oijii'-S
d.CA Is' :"! i :; ; r:. 1 < /! liii'
apostio :is vs: ' if au\ iu:u? \\ 1 i I
iu-l Wi >! {;, i:. j I i . j . - i:: i! { };< < .
HKLKjiiON ! i <:????I? { {JK*!';';*
i | . '
Oh, m??v. nop.?rf::i;t :is 11:> 1 \ , \\ 11?-1?
SO IDli'-il is seal S11 j \
physiology and tin:; :?! mimiiOW
style <>l A >< ! and
anon springing iij?-n o.<oi l. ii..a
you >;ii< uii! i; : !, ; land t !!! - t
S?'*.hoo! it! til: ; 1: 'I ! . ; : !n?oi o!
Christ. which <i'r!n. t i< sJ i
is j>!''-Iii-!.r :.!;! > : I I! -: h
ili.gr til'- ploiii! '! J': i1 i? ?!?' ?i .
as Wf Ii i: : i<? ! ! .i v. lit: i! i . !
'CO lt_ VC.t L - ii <. ,i l.j t!i;
world with equal physical health, anu '
1.iit-n one of them shall get the religion j
of the I .on! Jesus Christ in his heart, j
ami the oilier shall not got it. the one i
who becomes a son of the Ixml Al- j
mighty will live the longer. "With
long life will i satisfy thee, ami show j
thee my salvation."
Again 1 remark that godliness is
good for the intellect. 1 know some j
have supposed that just as soon as a j
man enters into the Christian life his j
intellect goes into a bedwarfing pro- j
cess. tSo'far from that, religion will
give now brilliancy to the intellect, :
now strength to the imagination, new i
force to the will, am! wider swing to i
all the intellectual faculties. Chris* j
tienity is the great central (ire at !
which philosophy has lighted its j
brightest tore!?. The religion of (lie :
!Jesus Christ is the fountain
> - ?' 1 \-i vii i t>.j- lex JirmpJ
t i? : L w l \* u i ? v i i ?' ?" ?""p _
its dearest draught. The Helicon
poured forth no such inspiring
waters us those which flow
from under the throne of (rod dear as
crystal. Rdigion has given new en- j
ergy to poesy, weeping in Dr. Young's j
"Night Thoughts." teaching in Cow- '
j^r's "Taslc," tiaming in Charles Wes- i
ley's hymns, and rushing with arch- j
nwgdio splendor t:sr.Milton's 1
"i"'aradise Lost." 'i'lse religion of |
.Jesus Christ lias hung in studio and :
in gallery of art and in Vatican, the
1> -.1 pictures?Titian's "Assumption,"
Re.phad's 4'Transliguration," Kubens'
"Descent front the Cross,^K'laudes
"Ru ruing Dush," and Angelo's."Last
Judgment." Religion has made the
best music of the world?Haydn's j
''Creation;" Handel's "Messiah,1* Mo- |
rarDs "Requiem." Is it possible that j
a religion which builds such indestruc- j
tible monuments, and which lifts its J
ensign on the highest promonto-. j
lies of worldly power, can have j
any died upon a man's intellect but
elevation and enlargement? Now, I !
commend godliness as the best mental I
.lisdpiine- better than belles-lettres i
to purify the taste, better than mathe- !
maiics to harness the mind to all in- '
tricacy and elaboration, better than '
logic to marsiial the intellectual forces j
i <> nos.-f mul V ictorv. It will er> with I
III!-!. Milter and show him the foot- j
prints of the Creator in tho ret] sand- j
stone, it will go with the botanist j
3|pd siiow^Jiim celestial glories cn- !
cainped unuer the curtain of a water !
Bly. It will go witii the astronomer 1
on tfrp great heights where God shep- j
hercwthe great lloek of worlds, that ;
ffiproii 11 jo hills of heaven answer- J
iiigans Voice as he calls them all by I
ttieir names.
IIOW RELIGION ^PREVENTS DESPOND- j
KNCY AND GLOOMINESS.
Again 1 remark that godliness is !
profitable for ones disposition. Lord |
A-bley, before lie went into a great j
battle, was heard to offer this prayer: i
*0 Lord, 1 shall be very busy today; I
if I forget thee, forget me not." With !
such a Christian dis]>o.sition as that, a :
man is independent of all cireum- j
stances. Our piety will have a tinge !
of our natural temperament. Iranian j
be cross and sour and fretful- natu- |
rally, after he becomes a Christian he I
will always have to l>e armed against
ihe i. be*!lion of tlioseevil inclinations; I
but religion has tamed tho wildest na- 1
rare it has turned Tretfulness into ;
gratitude, despondency into good '
cheer, and those who were j
1 sard and ungovernable and un- [
compromising have been made
pliable and conciliatory. Good reso- j
iution, reformatory effort, will not j
effect (lie change. It takes a mightier ,
arm and a mightier hand to bend evil J
habits than the hand that bent the bow !
of Llysses, and it takes a stronger !
lasso than ever held the buffalo on the
prairie. A man cannot go forth with
...... q,W3 i
Jill \ inuiiaii ^?vv;v* v>'??w?4v?
eessfully against those Titans armed
until uptorn mountain. But you havp 1
known men into whose spirit the in
iluence of the Gospel of Christ came, |
until their disposition was entirely j
changed. So it was with two pier- {
ehuntaan New York. They were very |
antagonistic. They had done all they j
could to injure each other. They were
in the same line of business. One of
the merchants was converted to God.
Having been converted, bo asked the j
Lord to teach him how to bear himself
toward {hat business antagonist, and he j
was impressed \\ itli the fact that it was I
l>isdui\ when a customer for
certain kinds of goods which he had
not, but which he knew his opponent
had. { > recommend him to go to that
store. I suppose that is about the hard- j
est thing a man could do; but bejng
i!:oroughly converted to G.od, he resolved
to do that very thing, and being
asked for a certain kind of goods which
lie had not he said: "lou go to such
and .such a Horn and you will get it."
Aries* a wliile merchant number twu
fouml these customers coming so sent,
ami he found also that merchant number
one had been brought to God, and
La sought the same religion. Now
r:! -\ arc good friends and good neigh- j
l-ors, the grace of God entirely cbang- j
in;;- their disposition.
"Oh," says some one. '1 have a j
rough, jagged, impetuous nature, and j
ivligion can't do anything for me." i
i\> you know that Martin Luther and !
Hubert Newton and liicliard Baxter .
were impetuous. ad consuming na- j
lures, yet the grace of God turned j
them into the mightiest usefulness? j
A manm'aet'uvr cares but very little
? >r a stream that slowly runs through :
' ' . .. i O l I
!:) ? Iiv>W, NUl Si.' ici'veui uii'.i ;
leans from rock to rock, and rushes j
v,:! ii mad energy through the valley :
gfcr.u nui coward tlu- .mm. Along that ;
*r^v \..;i wjli bad fluttering shuttles ;
and grinding mil| and flashing water- i
wheel. And a nature, the swiftest, j
the must rugged and the most tre- j
mentions, that is the nature God turns j
inlogr.-am-j usefulness. Oli.liow^uany |
who have been pugnacious, and hard i
to please. anil irascible, jitul niQf'p
bothered about the mote in their !
neighbor's eve than about the beam I
like ship iindHir in their own eye, who*!
have born entirely, changed by the !
grace of (?od. an<l have found nut that
"t iodiiuess is prolitable for the life [
that now is as well as for the life I
which is to come."
KW.ttilON is IJOOI) IN t.IFK's lil.VOTlGAL
T MINOS.
Again ) remark, that religion is
good for a mail's worldly business. I
!:no\vthe general theory is, the more
!>usiness (lie less religion, Iiic more re"
iigion (he loss business. Kotso thought
1 '?(? <or 1 ?ans iii his "Biography of u
("Iinstiau Merchant, ' when lie says:
"lie grew in grace flip hist six years
< f Ins li-fe more than pt any
lime jit his life; during those
six years he had more blisi;.t-:s
crowding liiin thaji at any
linr tinic." !ii other words, the
mworldly business a man has, the
mi .tv i>!'( unity to servo (rod. Does
r<-iigion ? :hilarato or retard worldly
I ii i<i lie.-.-;' is (he practical question for
\.*tij to discuss. Does it hang like a
i in n't gage ovr {ho tan n? Is it a had
debt on i lie ledger? Is it a lien against
the e.daic? Docs it crowd Utfc door
through which customers come lor
i ;.j.?ths and .silks.' Now, religion
will hinder i our business it' it be a bad
hit in- . , or j| if, j * -1 good business
>Vioiiily cODdUwtfed. |.J V0n tell lie*
behind the counter, if you use false
weights and measures, if you put sand
iti sugar, and beet juice in vinegar,
and laid in butter, and sell for one
thing that which is another thing,
then religion will interfere with that
business; but a lawful business lawfully
conducted will find.-the religion
of the Lord Jesus Christ its frngfcticst
auxiliary.
Religion will give aa equipoise of
spirit, it will keep you fronrebullitions
of temper?and you know a great
many fine businesses have been blown
to atoms by bad temper?it will keep
you from worriment about frequent
loss, it will keep you industrious and
prompt, it will jkeep you back from
squandering and from dissipation, it
will give you a kindness of spirit
which will easily he distinguished
from that mere store courtesy which
shakes hands violently with you, asking
afcJout the health of your family
when there is no anxiety to know
whether your child is well or sick!
but the anxiety is to kuow how many
dozen cambric pocket handkerchiefs
you will take and pay cash down. It
will prepare you for the practical duties
of everyday life. . I do not mean to
say that religion will make us finan
cially rich, but 1 do say that <t will
give us, it will assure us of a comfortable
sustenance at the start, a comfortable
subsistence all the way through,
and it will help us to direct the bank,
to manage the traffic, to conduct all
our business niattei-s, and to make the
most insignificant affair of our life a
matter of vast im)>ortaiicc glorified by
Christian principles.
In New York city there was a merchant
hard in his dealings with his
fellows, who had written over his
banking house, or his counting house
room: "No com promise." Then when
some merchant got in a crisis and
went down?110 fault of his, hut a conjunction
of evil circumstances?and
all the other merchants were willing
to compromise ? they would take
seventy-five cents on the dollar, or
fifty cents, or twenty cents?coming
to this man last at all. he said: "No
compromise; I'll take one hundred j
cents 011 the dollar, and 1 can afford
to wait." Well, the wheel turned, and
after a while that man was in a crisis of
business, and he sent out his agents to j
compromise, and the agents said to the !
merchants: "Will you take fifty cents
011 the dollar;" "No." "Will you j
t$ke anything?" "We'll take one
hundred cents on the dollar. No j
compromise." And the man who j
wrote that inscription over Ins counting'
house door died of destitution. I
Oh, we want more of the kindness of
the Gosj>el ami the spirit of love in
our business en tor] irises! flow many j
young meu have found in the religion |
of Jesus Christ a practical help? How j
many there are in this house today I
who couJd testify out of their own ex- !
perience that godliness is j)rotitable |
for the life that now is. There were J
times in tiieir business career when j
they went here for help, and there for |
help, and yonder for help, and got no j
help until they knelt before the Lord !
crying for his deliverance, and the j
Lord rescued thorn.
In a bank not far from our great i
metropolis?a village-bank?;?i| officer j
could not balance his accounts. He
had worked at them day alter day,
night after night, ami lie was sick
nigh unto death as a result. He knew
he had not taken one farthing from
that bank, but somehow, for some !
reason inscrutable then, the accounts
wouldn't balance. The time rolled on,
and the morning of the day when the
books should pass under the inspection
of the other officer's arrived, and
ho felt himself in awful peril, conscious
of his own integrity but unable
to prove that integritv. That morning
he went to the bank early, and he
knelt down before God and told tin?
whole story of his mental anguish,
and he saiu: kO Lord, I have done
right; I have preserved my integrity,
but here I anr about to be overthrown
unless thou shouldstcomctomy rescue.
Lord, deliver me." Ami lor one hourhe
continued the prayer before God.
and then he rose and went to an old
blotter that he had forgotten all about.
He opened it, and there lay a sheet of
figures which he only needed to add
to another line of figures?some line
of figui-es lie had forgotten, and knew
not where he had laid them?and the
accounts were balanced, and the Lord
delivered him. you are an infidel if
you do not believe it. The Lord delivered
Itim. God answered his prayer
as lie will answer your- prayer, 0 man
of business, in every crisis when you
come to him. Now, jf this be so,
then I am persuaded, as you are,
r\f tliA f-ifi tli-if fltA vn<si mainritv of
Christians do not fuliv test the value
of their religion. They are like a
farmer in, California, with fifteen
thousand acres of good wheat land
and culturing only a quarter of an
acre. Why do you not go forth and
make the religion of Jesus Christ a
practical affair every day of your
business ]ife and all this year, beginning
now, and to-morrow morning
putting into practical effect this holy
religion and demonstrating in your
life that godliness is profitable here as
well :is hereafter?
Flow AND WHV ftELItflOX. 1NDKSPKNS
ABLE.
How can you get along without this
religion? Is your physical health so
good you do not want this divine
tonic? Is your mind so clear, so vast,
so comprehensive thai you do not want
this divine inspiration? Is your
worldly bi?sines$ so thoroughly ostab
lisliec} jdiat you have no use for that i
religion which lias b.een the help and
deliverance of tens of thousands of
men in crises of worldly trouble? And
if what 1 have said this morning is
- > - i i < .. .i i.i i ... j
true, men you see wi-aia i-auw uiuuutT ,
it is when a man adjourns to life's ex- j
piration the uses of religion. A man !
Who postpones ret jgion fq si*ty years j
of age gets religion lifty years too
late. He may get into the kingdom
of God by final remittance, but
what can compensate hint for a whole
lifetime unallev-iated and uncomforted?
Vou want religion today in the
training of that, child. Vou will want
religion to-morrow in dealing with
thai western customer. Vou wanted
religion yesterday to curb your temjter.
Is your arm strong enough to
peat your way through I he floods? ('an
you withoutbeing incased in the mail
pfGod's* eierqaj hejp go forih amid the
assault of all hell's sharpshooters?
Can you walk alone across these
crumbling graves and amid these gaping
earthquakes? Can you, waterlogged
and mast shivered, outlive the
gale? uii, how many there have heen
who, postponing the religion of Jesus
Christ, have plunged into mistakes
they never COuliJ correct all hough they ;
lived eighty years after, and like serpents
crushed undercart wheels, dragging
their mauled bodies under the
jOfdfS fo die; so these men have fallen
under the whpe! of awful calamity, i
crusheq here, destroyed forever, while
a vast multitude of 'others* liaye taken
the religion of Jesus Christ into everyday
life, and first, in practical business
affairs, and secondly, on the throne of
heavenly triumph, have illustrated, J
while angels looked on and a LUii verae
j approved. the glorious truth that ;
j '"Godliness is profitableuiitoall tilings. {
| having the promise oi' the life which I
| now is as well as of that which is to j
j come."
INTERESTING PARAGRAPHS.
The total production of the silk man- I
I ufactories of America now amounts I
j to $60,000,000 per annum.
j Harvard has graduated tlirce presi- I
; dents, two vice presidents, eighteen j
J cabinet officers, three speakers of the j
house of representatives, and four j
| supreme court judges.
A hog was butchered at Charlton, j
! Ga., and in the maw of the swine were j
i found some twenty-two nails and a j
| lot of glass, supposed to liave been |
i pieces of bottle. QJhe hog was apparj
ently healthy.
\V. S. Cleveland. a manager, and i
his company, were roomed in the top !
floor ofJa big hotfc^h-small and unde- !
Sizable rooms. Cleveland asked the i
candy hotel clerk to come around and '
see his show. The clerk did as he was j
asked and was given a pass for the j
i gallery. "We aro in the garret at j
j your house," Cleveland explained.
They have an improved method of
i lasting shoes in some of the Maine j
j shoe factories by which cement is j
[ made to take the place of {x?gs and j
i tacks. The device, which is patented, j
i costs 20 per cent, less than all other j
i articles for the purpose, and is said to j
| do three times tne work.
The total wool production of the !
! world is estimated at 2,000,000,000 j
j pounds. Australia is the heaviest pro- |
ducer, coming to the front with 455,- j
i 570,000'pounds; then the United States, !
j 307,588,000 pounds; the Argentine Re- j
j public, 283,047,000 pounds; Russia j
| 202,960.000; Great Britain, 135,000,000. j
: All the other countries range each j
! below 100,000,000 pounds.
"Well, this do beat alii" exclaimed
j Aunt Harriet, as they took their first !
i ride on the elevated; "Who'd 'a i
j thought of railroadin' in the air?"
j "Sho!" replied Uncle Abner, "mv
i newspaper says that a large part o' the
railroad companies of New York are
run largely on water, and that's the
| kind o' road 1 want to see afore we go j
| home."?Puck.
! An English paper recommends as j
the best contrivance for keeping j
knives, forks and tablespoons, a pocket, I
tacked on the pantry door, made of
enameled cloth and lined with Canton j
Annual the intAfi'nr l>cincr stitched in i
small divisions to accommodate the j
separate articles. It is urged a3 an ad- |
vantage that4'the. Canton flannel will j
absorb all moisture that maybe left
on the articles."
"GikI Shave the Oueen,"
I A most curious statement is being i
made about the queen of Portugal, i
Not only lias Maria Pia, it is sain, a j
clearly defined mustache on her upper j
lip, but she is positively proud of it. j
It is furthermore stated, evidently by j
a confirmed courtier, that this hirsute
adornment suits admirably the queen
I of Portugal's style of beauty. Who
shall, say, then, that this royal ex|
ample will not effect in
I this^fanitr.iliu- dii-e.?tiuu?*"^HHPbth? j
j answers on toilet matters in tffB ladies' i
journals have been largely devoted to :
I directions to fair correspondents how
they might get rid of the superfluous
| growth of hair on their upper lips and
j chins. But in futuie, possibly, toilet
| editors will be called on to recommend
the best mustache developer for ladies j
| whose "style of beauty" the masculine j
growth on fhe upper lip is supposed to j
I suit.?London Figaro.
Bulb ill History.
Bells have a large place in history, j
almost larger thau any other object j
that could be mentioned, unless we j
| must except some of the implements j
of destruction. Their great antiquity j
1 is beyond question. An explorer j
| among the ruins of Nineveh, or some i
! other of those vanished oriental cities, j
claims the discovery of a bronze bell,
[ and the citizens pf Rome came to
gether in their public places at the
signals of bells. But the Roman bells
were elongated pieces of forgings,
| about as musical, it js to he presumed,
as a modern cowbeli. It was not i
i uutil mediaeval and modern times thai |
the tall I'ino-er became a man of verv I
p ? _ v
distinguished duties. Who has not j
heard of the Sicilian ve3iier be)Is. I
rung in the year 128:3 as tne signal |
for the death of 8,000 Frenchmen, I
slaughtered so that Sicily mi^ht be j
free? Who has not heard again, and |
shuddered as he listened, of the bells ;
of St. Bartholomew?the signal, it is ;
said, for the death of 100,000 persons?
And the 8 o'clock curfew bell that j
rang through all England at the bid- i
I ding of Wpiiani the Conauerpr, as a j
warning to his newly tnaue slaves to f
| "douse the glim;" has it not echoed in ;
faint and still fainter tones through '
the pages of English history down to I
date? But it has not been the fate of
all bells to he made to give the signal
for slaughter or oppression. The
Philadelphia!^ have tneir fondly cherished
liberty l>ell. It is held in such
esteem that it >vas borne half over the I
continent a fe\V years ago under the
escort of a guard of honor to protect it i
| from all injury. It proclaimed once j
j from its brazen lips the birth of a new
nation, and hence if it be not made to !
endure as long' as the nation itself it j
wiil be because metal is more perish a- j
ble than the work of ttui revolution ,
arv architects. ? lx>ek and Bell.
/ I
Melloui** Ruling: Paaaiou.
"I was horn at Partita, and when 1
got a holiday used to go into thecoun- j
try the night before and go to bed j
early, so as to get up before trie dawn, j
Then 1 used to Meal silently out of the j
; house and run, with bounding heart, !
| till 1 got to the top of a little hill, ;
where I used iq sef myself so as to look j
toward tho east." There, lie tells us, i
! he used, in the stillness of nature, to !
- i t.j i
wan I lie rising sun. am: leei HIS alien- i
lion l-apt. less with the glorious spec- ;
taele of the morning* light- itself than I
! with the sense oi' tire mysterious heat
| which accompanied its beams and j
brought something more necessary to j
our life and that of all nature fhaii>hu j
Ijght ftself.
The idea that not pnly mankind,
hut nature, would perish though the
light continued, if fhjs \yas (Hyorced !
j rpui heat, made a profound jmpres- I
sum, he tells us, on his childish minil.
The statement that such an jijea could j
epter vvith domjhating force intq the
mind of a child will perhaps seeut improbable
to most. It will, however,
lie comprehensible enough to some
here, I have no doubt.?Professor S.
P. liHiiglev in Popular Science
Month Jy.
\ Tale yntlt h Moral,
There is u certain plumber whose :
domicile is on East Eighteenth street, j
lie is a genius in his way. He was i
I recently called in to locate a supposed I
leak in the drain pipes pf a fourteen- J
story apurpmeni house not far from
his place of business. Altera day's
cogitation and sundry profitless
soundings and sniltlngs be finally bit
upon u plan to save the owner from
idling the building ta pay his bill.
Mr. Stupe Went to u Unr-gt-l atul
bought 10 cento' worth of i'md extract
of valerian?commonly called catnip.
Then lie tool: the elevator to the top
floor anil poured the contents of his
little bottle of valerian dilated with
water down the drain. Half an hour
later lie took a eat and visited one1:)
floor in turn. The cut exhibited no
emotion until a room in the seventh
story was reached. Then with a
bound it sprang from the plumber's
arms and began to paw the wall, mewing
loudly. A hole was made in the
wall and there, sure enough, was the
leak. Moral: Keep a cat instead of a
plumber. It costs le.^.?Xevc V.nrk
Star.
skill.
Skillful dressmakers can do a great
deal to make an over stoat woman
look presentable, but : dims em: do
little or nothing to lnde the elum-v
proportions of a fat num.* Aotwith
standing that all the iashi.-.u :>!.ii.* tig
lnvs iii'H of ifrii'i'ti!I u.?t 1 ? auv fbi'i
women us being1 the best means of displaying
fashionable attire. a ureal ileal
of attention is paid to making graceful
draperies for stout women, 'i Inpartial
eclipse of the busiic is a -.-.si
blow to these plump people, sin.ee a
big bustle relieved their v.idciscss of
waist and afforded more .support for
ample skirts. Nevertheless, all women's
clothes seem much better adapted
to concealing fat than men's, as ;:n\
one will acknowledge v. ho takesvaro
ful notice of the apparent sie.e of an
actress in skirts and sees h.-r-soon alter
in masculine garb. What appeared
in petticoats to be only medium plump
iless, in trousers and tail coat is increased
in girth to absolute i'alue.-s.
The same phenomenon may be ob
served among the bathers at watering
places. ?i>altimore American.
Fought willi a Wildcat.
James Maddrah. of Atisoaia, Conn...
heard a great racket in liis saw mil!
early one morning recently, lie arose
and went out, expecting to iiiul a fox
chasing his chickens, which are kupt
in a house adjoining llic mill, bat
found an immense wildcat. "As be entered
the eat sprang at him. He hud
no weapon and did not dare to turn to
tlee. lie grappled with the animal
and, being a very strong man. he
caught it by the neck with one hand
and clutched the fore paws of the
brute with the other, and ai'ler a struggle
choked it into insensibility. Then
he flung it to the ground and brut its
brains out with a club. Mr. Muddrah's
clothes were ripped open from his
shoulders down, bis neck was frightfully
lacerated, and his shoulders and
arms were torn by the sharp claws ot
tho infuriated ami hungry animal.?
Philadelphia Times.
"h;tting th?. pi r.r
Aluriiiing Growth of 'litis llciUlwulsh
Habit as Noticed itt Chicago.
The smoking of opium in Chicago
began about ten yeais ago, among the
white population, though the habit
has prevailed with the Celestials since
their first arrival in 11 it* city. In 137A
the fact that the custom was contagious
was broughj. to the notice of the p J<oe
department,* and the v?:?iutn joints'
II I f m . 'i - . 1 * 1 ! : i ! ..
carded by tTie Celestial, and is (brown
upon the street to die, which lie short 1\
does amid (he aeuiest sntiiriiigs.
Most of the beginners are between
IS and 2"> years old, smut? even
yOUliger, (WuiparaUvety few begin
when over 30. An observer I>etwee?i
the hours of 2 and 4 and S and (J i
p. m., may see smokers enier these j
joints, ostensibly laundries; hut if the |
observer waits lie will be surprised at
the length of time it takes to get one's j
washing. When rt joint keener b<jieves
his place is being watched, he
will furnish' the smoker when going out |
with a bundle to carry as a blind, and
many a bundle has been opened and,
found to contain, instead ol carefuii^ i
jaundried linen, a lot of waste paper.
Women, though mostly outcasts, form
^ no small part of the Celestial's customers,
and not Infrequently young
girls with an adventurous ami romantic
turn of mind are decoyed into
"just one indulgence." The" smoker
is invariably robbed of all his valuables,
not by the Chinaman, but by the
4"
were puueu. uwsserveti 10 kiii u ior
a time, at least apparently, though it
was not long before rumors were thing
around again that the practice was
going on and growing, Considerable
difficulty was then experienced in lo
eating the joints, but so soon as one
was found it was promptly pulled.
Despite police vigilance, however,
the Celestials continued to spread their
business until two years ago. when it
attained such a growth that a systematic
warfare was hegun and waged
against it, headed by a detective who
has since "resigned" from the force,
with the result that, save a few small
''joints,"the Celestial business was entirely
broken up. Not long ago, bowever,
it began to show signs of a resnr
rection, and now there are 100 est ah
lislimerits, and they are increasing in
geometrical progression.
An old timer can detect a joint by
standing on the steps leading to !i.e
basement, so strong is the odor of the
opium. Upon entering (lit- visitor is
met by an almond cvcil pigtail, who
gutturalizes an inquiry. 11* tiio visiioi
is a stranger a-m desires a smoke lie
must give his name. The keeper
looks 115 u book and ii' the name
is not there it is no go. If, however,
one of the "steeivrs"?as a half
dozen or more invoteraic white
smokers about town are called and
to whom a novitiate must apply has
seen that the name has been
registered, the celestial parts a curtain
behind him, and ushers the visitoi
into a long1, nam'nv passage, on each
side of which are a number of smaii
rooms furnished with hunks. Into
one of these the visitor goes, lies
down on the bunk, gives his guide the
regulation fee and is given a pipe
containing a pill of opium. A few
whiffs and enchanted dominions ere
reaphed, and there the visitor remains
for halt an hour. Sometimes he takes
another pill, hut generally one sit If ices
until the next visit.
And there is always a uexi visit, so
long* as money and lii'e lasts; tor once
a man (or woman, for that matter)
takes the drug, he is, with most rare *
exceptions, ever afterward its slave.
After a few indulgences, which. !>?
come constantly more frequent, the
newly cuthralied suffers a weakness
of the nerves, he becomes suspicions,
a crafty air tinged with a strong and
unmistakable suggestion of guilt takes
possession of him, his skin Io.m-s i:s
clear complexion and gradually its
whiteness changes to a yellow hue.
The gratifying of the habit become-,
absolutely essential, manv fold mwie
irresistible than (ho sway'of King AI
cuhol. There is very little hope of re
covery, and once within its dutche.-.
the captured is a goner. When his
money has disappeared lie joins the
ranks of the "sieerers." and in eon
sideration of steering a new customer
into the joint, receives the privilege of
hitting the pipe, and in that way eke.out
a most wretched and miserable existence
until, even his "steering" i'acHoirwv
1/vkI th<* li:diifllo is ?iIr:
stocrci's, who wait until their victims
are asleep, when anything can be clone
with them without their knowledge.?
Chicago Journal.
An Iowa Peddler's Terrible Scare.
A peddler who put up for the night
at Maquoketa was so frightened at the
threats and boisterous talk of some
i men who were stopping at the same
i house that lie fled in his stocking feet,
hatless. coal less and clothed ouly in
shirt and pants. For two nights and
I two days he remained in the woods,
when lie ventured to return. His feet
I were frozen and he was almost dead
with cold and exhaustion. The man
who had frightened him so wasTalber
Si reels, who was on his way home
from Maquoketa under tiie influence
of liquor. The latler proceeded on his
way after the peddler left, and his
team running away he was thrown
| out and killed. Talber Streets was
about 00 vears of age.?Des Moines
Register.
His Lite Saved bv a I)renin.
Another queer dream that seems to
have proven a real, substantial warning
is (old by a lireman on the Baltii
more and Ohio road. Frank Baker
1 tried to get out of his run when his
freight was ready to leave Wheeling
by feigning sickness. Not being able
to get oil' lie bade bis wife good-by,
telling her lie had dreamed of a fatal
; accident and that all would be killed.
1 When the freight took a siding at
! Yaliey Fulls, Baker made an excuse
I and left iiis engine. A moment later
an express crashed into the freight
j and the engineer and brakeman in nis
place were killed. ? Kansas City Times.
Septimus Winner, the Philadelphia
song writer, lias made $100,000 out of
'"Listen to the Mix-king Bird," which
is still in demand.
BUr,DETTE"$ PHILOSOPHY.
companions in suffering.
Mrs. Humphrey Ward, the author of
"Robert Llsmere," complains that she
has only received $.*>00 for the American
edition of her book, although 100,000
copies have I wen sold here. Don't kick,
Mrs. Ward, some of us have suffered
more than you. I myself read the book
clear through, and never got a cent
for it .
a christmas reminiscence.
What strange ideas some people have
in regard to the entertainment of children.
latst Christmas 1 attended a
Christmas entertainment in a church; a
ilve. active, intelligent membership it
iiad, n*>. and no country church it was,
tieitin r. It was well located in a busy
city of loO.OOO inhabitants. I was a
stranger in the city, stranded there by a
blizzard, and. looking over the evening
. papers io see w here 1 should go to be entertained,
saw an advertisement of this
Christmas "entertainment." I went to
the church, and it was crowded with
grown folk and eager, bright eyed, expectant
little ones. And this is the wav
the committee on "amusement" entertained
them.
1. 1 )irge on the organ. The programme
did not give the name of the
dirge, l>ut it was played with a wailing
melancholy that made your tlesh creep.
I thought 1 must have stumbled upon u
h'i lay" exercise, but no; a glance
at t!ie programme again assured me that
this "dirge" was the initial number of
the birthday exercises. "Queer way to
celebrate a birthday," I thought, but, as
it was none of my funeral, 1 said nothing,
which was perhaps the wisest thing 1
ever said.
2. A middle aged mourner followed
the dirge with a recitation about a little
!>oy \\ ho died rather than tell a lie. The
moral was grand indeed, but somehow
the introduction of an early and tragic
death in the second number of the "entertainment"
seemed to have a depressing
effect ujkui the congregation. Still, I
'bought, perhaps the committee had
wisely decided to kill off all the objectionable
characters early in the evening
and have lots of fun at the wake.
o. A. sunburst of childish brightness.
Seven little girls gave a charming little
exercise about the "days of the week."
lime sunshine couldn't be brighter or
more welcome in December.
4. Sad recitation by a boy with a
toothj.ehe. Ho leaned sideways and
turned jhmTo -iIy rigid when he faced the
tudtepee. After a moment of embarrassing
silence lie unlocked his jaw and
let her go. He slipj>ed an eccentric on
the lirst line, however, and worked only
tarn side after that, saying his piece out
of the northeast corner of his mouth till
| he came breathlessly to the end and
ducked himself off the stage. His performance
threw the congregation into a
r.tate ?>t hi.'Wilderment trom which it
seemed ditlieult to extricate them. To
complicate matters, a girl ^pf about 15
Years came on without any warning as
the hoy went off and chanted, in melancholy
recitative, a harrowing narrativg
of "The I >riuikard\s Home."
5. The ai-.t covered the girl's retreat
\\ ill: i he " 1 )e:;d March in Saul,"
and a dull, sickening shudder thrilled
through ihe loom.
t>. A m:>; ir. society of eight young
people "i Woui'l Not 1 ,ive Always.'
A u-ervt> . i o'.ifig brother sitting near
mea ie-.i 10. in a low whisper for the
loan i civ ; cm "to kill rata." 1 refused
some..!: :; ..-iidy htvultso. as I told hhn,
1 don't . iac.or on uiy person, and
hexide ' >'ii- :eeovi-of suicide in rilaces
>f an. 1 at gatherings of
j!ii.: I f :i'. ily.
". \ I...;:. Song. flute obligato,
sii.i.j i i i in ;? beautiful girl, nntrai
:? .) Ci-- regal ion an.l dispelled
tii.- air >! i. -agnation which was settling
down !;;> >!: tin- house liko a cloud.
S. A girl r.vited '".Nobody's Child" so
forlornly 11s:;t it i ;r-t ;i gloom over the
t-ni in- o ?!?? ?::i:it_\.
0. A witiD;: man sang "Dublin Day" in
good dramatic stylo, anti the way he
shewed tin' fatal beach with ghastly
-orps.-s v\ h.-n t he Honing tide came in
would lave i-hilled ibo heart of u veteran
undertake;-.
to. A young lady recited a poem in
which an old man died sitting bolt upi
ight i i his chair, al ter which his laituful
old colored servant doubled himself
up i:i a heap and at his master's feet and
died hard. This was encored, and they
both died again - a litths harder this
time.
11. A bright young iudy, with a clear
voice and cvceiient dramatic action vevi'o'd
The Initial <>f Moses." By this
tune, the congregation had caught the
spirit of t lie meeting, and the "Burial"
was rapturously encored. The elocutionist
ivl u qied and gave "The Maniac"
pi splendid style.
li-ii ivr! '<* > ivpf.iU: striketf its i<v>tli
Uf<-|> !: inv lieurf, so. ci us!i? d and sad!
Av! laitigli ye '.iciuls! your tiisk is done? '
I'm iniid! r:ii uiadi
This fairly made the sparkling lights
of "M-iry t 'lirisimaa" quiver with delight,
another encore followed. This
; was a description of a man lost at sea,
i clinging t<> a spar, and drowning as he
sing-i "IV-it of Ages." The last gurgling,
| choking g<?*p of tho man as he went
i down mace <% physician near me close
his watch with a subdued snap and shake
Li.i in i"i. T knew i hen there was no hope
for 11ie man. And there wasn't, lie
drowned end tho Christmas revelries
; nbnnt over.
t;\ Clous, in furs and hells, big
cap ami pipe, name ill. He had forgotten
his piece, however, and after hystericidly
gasping, "Well, I'm here," was
struck uuui.>, and remained speechless.
From time t?? time, however, lie jingled
i .k~ i? ii. .. ii.a
(lit? U?'M?, WUU'l! I'lra^CU llIC \ iutui ru
; ?;uito as well as his best speech could
l::ivo done.
lVrhuon the most cold blooded deed of
i the ceuiMg, however, was jjerpetrated
bv thj supeiiiiteiideot of thd Sundae
j schcc], who got uj? to remark that as ho
| had nothing to Jo with arranging the
j entertainment?I didn't Mama him for
clearing his own skirts?he could conscientiotisly
say that the committee on
"entertainment'' had indeed given us a
j most enjoyable evening, and deserved
alike the thanks of all, young and old,
i for the great pleasure they had given us.
I Now, this is no fancy sketch. It is
' written from notes, taken on the spot.
I The Sunday school that arranged this
| "entertainment" will recognize the
| sketch, and possibly some one may write
i me a savage letter, but 1 will never tell
i any more tliyn I have told here. 1 only
^ desire to show people how mistaken well
i meaning people may l>e in t heir ideas of
| "entertainment." "Christmas" is a * . % .
j birthday, not a funeral anniversary. And
j to entertain people, we are to sing and
j recite not the things we like to sing and
say, hut the things to which people enjoy
i listening. The object of entertainment
i is not to "show oil"' the entertainers?
j that is advertisment?but to entertain
| the audience.?Robert J. Burdette in
j Brooklyn Eagle.
A Victimizes! Man.
"Ethel," said Lionel Bertram Jones, as
he dropped his slice of bread in the plate
j with a noise that set the canary in the
gilt cage overhead chirping merrily.
| ''Ethel, 1 have something to say to you."
They had l>een married only four weeks
. and the time had not yet arrived wheu
j she did all the saying.
| "Do you remember the day on which
j I proposed to you? '
"\es," slie replied, "1 will never fori
get it."
! "I)o you remember," he went on, as he
i abstractedly drilled a hole into the loaf
j with the jH?i?it of a carving knife, "how,
I when 1 rang the lx-11, you came to the
i door with your sleeves rolled up and
' your fingers sti? ky w ith dough, and said
you thought it was jour little brother
i who wanted to get in."
" Yes.'
1 "Oh, Ethel. How could you? llow
i could you?"
"How could I what?" she responded,
j as a guilty look crept into her face,
i "How could \ou make me the victim
I of such h bluff?"? Merchant Traveler.
A Kisx in the Dark.
Horace Yernet, tlie artist, was going
| from Versailles to Paris bv railway. In
the same compartment \\ #i. him were
two ladies whom he had never seen be!
fore, but who were evidently acquainted
' with him. They examined him minutely
j and commented f reely upon his martial
i hearing, his hale old age, the style of hts
j dress, etc. They continued their annov'
ance until finally the painter determined
i to put an end to the persecution. As the
j train passed through the tunnel of St.
! i Mciii/i 11 .n fltiviTr t i"i\mlafC 1
VAVUUf UIC liJivu iia?w?/io ?* ?A
j in complete darkness. Vernet raised the
{ back of his hand to his mouth and kissed
; it twice violently. On emerging from
j the obscurity he found that the ladies
! had withdrawn their .attention from him,
I and were accusing each other of having
! been kissed by a man. in the dark,
i Presently they a-frived at Paris, and
Vernet, on leaving them, said: "Ladies,
I shall l?e puzzled all my life bv the in^duiry,
which of these two ladies was it
[ tliat kissed me?"?St. Louis Republic.
In tli? Cabin.
j ^
,/w / - -v
|
|
EXTRACT FROM A LETTER.
"I simply detest hitn, and it was my
intention to let him know it4n this-iritervietv
and put an en.i to it all, but circumstances
made it a\viu!!v hard Lame.
* * **'? Christian late.
All Risks Avoid*.!.
I Mrs. de Paris (in Paris)?Oh, my bus
[ band. I fear to have you leave me. JUu-x
I you really travel on one of those dreadi
i'ul railway trains? Think of the aceiI
dents that have occurred.
i Mr. de Paris fa noted French journalj
ist)?Fear not, mv beautiful. The plati
I has been changed. W e are not t?? travel
by rail.
"Thank heaven!''
"No; my foe and I have concluded to
journey to the dueling ground by carriage."?Philadelphia
Record.
Customs of Our Hest }v??}>l*.
Barber (to customer)?< hi, r-.ii r
Customer (emphatically
Barber?You are right, sir. None !*
| our best peoples.re using oil on their hair
(To next customer}? Oil, sir:
Customer ? Why. i jnie.vs s.?.
Proper tiling, isn't it:
Barl>er?\es, sir. A it our best, p<?r?p!e
are using oil on their hair nowadays. Chicago
Tribune.
! A Standing Offer.
j -Y?h say 3Ir. Hankinson projjosed to
: you last night, Irene? Why, I've had a
! standing otler from him for the last t\\v>
j years."
1 "Likely enough, I.aura. He didn't
} make me any standing oiler, though.
| It was all he could do to get off his knees
i when 1 refused him. lie was in earnest
; this time, Laura "?Cikago Tribune.
tj